“I don’t think it’s unfortunate,” he said, shaking his head. “I think it’s great. It makes you who you are.”
“You’re probably the only one who thinks it’s great,” she said laughingly.
He grinned. “Who else matters?”
“No one, I suppose,” she said, feeling excitement course through her veins. He didn’t mind she enjoyed a bawdy jest or a crass comment now and then? How odd. Odd, but wonderful.
“Exactly. It’s what makes you unique. Distinguished.” His voice was silky and smooth, a stark contrast to the scruff on his face and his wind whipped hair.
“I don’t know about distinguished. But certainly unique. I don’t know if there's another vicar’s daughters on the planet whose mouth has tasted as much soap as mine,” she said cheekily.
He chuckled. “I like it. Don’t stop. It makes you—”
“Ho there, Leo,” Robbie cut in, sneaking up on them unnoticed. “I’ve been looking for you. I need a hand with something outside.”
“I’ll help you in a bit,” Leo said tightly, his face becoming set like stone.
Robbie shrugged. “Just as well, I suppose. Why don’t you meet me outside in say,” he glanced at his pocket watch, “thirty minutes? It will be exactly ten. That will be perfect.”
Leo frowned and pulled out his pocket watch. “No, in thirty minutes it will be ten minutes to eleven.”
Robbie blinked. “Is there a difference?”
“Yes,” Leo ground out, making Madison bring her hand to her mouth to stifle a giggle. “It’s already twenty past ten now.”
Robbie shrugged again. “All right,” he said slowly, pulling his pocket watch back out and pointing it in Leo’s direction. “How about when the short hand is close to the eleven, but not quite touching it, and the long hand is pointing straight out to the left?”
Leo groaned and possibly rolled his eyes, it was hard to tell. “All right. That’s in twenty five minutes. I’ll be there.”
“Excellent,” Robbie said. Then turning to Madison, he put his arm out. “Madison dear, remember you promised you’d explain to my mother how to yarn?”
“Knit, you mean?” she asked, flabbergasted.
“Yes, kit,” he agreed offhandedly. “Anyway, she’s expecting you. I’ll take you to her now, if you don’t mind.” He took her hand and looped it through his arm then took her to see the shrill voiced vulture he called a mother.
Madison ground her teeth. She didn’t want to go with him, she wanted to stay and talk to Leo. And why exactly did his blasted mother not know how to knit? Wasn’t that something all girls were tortured into learning to do? “All right,” she said, suppressing a groan as they walked away.
Besides the annoyance of always trying to come up with new ways to snag Leo’s attention during those three weeks, Madison also had to deal with the ever-present Robbie. It was like the man had become a barnacle and thought her a ship. The man was always there. And if not, he’d show up just as soon as she and Leo started talking. It was infuriating. It would have been just irritating if he’d only butted into the conversation. However, he didn’t. He ended their conversation and that’s what made it infuriating. He’d find some excuse to haul one of the two of them away from the other, usually her. Then he’d take her away and make snarky remarks about Leo. Yet, instead of making her dislike Leo, it just furthered her dislike for Robbie.
The most infuriating time was when she’d agreed to go fishing in the Hudson only because she thought Leo would be joining them. When Robbie asked if she wanted to, she couldn’t say yes fast enough. Images of Leo draping himself over her and helping her to hold the pole correctly flashed through her mind. But right after she agreed, Robbie announced Leo wouldn’t be joining them and disappointment washed over her. She tried not to feel hurt by Leo's blatant rejection of spending time with her while he just stood there doing nothing. He could have joined them if he wanted to spend time with her. But no, he just stood there and watched her go off with Robbie.
Not giving up hope, she acted completely reckless with the pole by swinging it all over the place. Her hope was if she was deliberately bad at fishing he’d come over and help her. However, he didn’t respond, which only made her more desperate and she tried harder to get his notice. But that only led to her slipping on a rock and gnashing her ankle against the sharp edge of one of the others right before her foot slipped completely and landed in the water. Her perspective changed in the next moments. She knew she’d given a shriek of surprise that she was certain a person would have to be deaf not to hear. However, instead of coming to her side and inquiring what was wrong, Leo stood by the tree, scowling as Robbie swooped her up and carried her to a nearby bench to clean her wound.
That night she sought Brooke out in her room and asked for advice. Brooke had been the biggest champion for the match. She’d constantly remind Madison of their initial conversation and continuously sing his praises. Madison believed her at first, but she was starting to doubt his feelings now.
“I don’t think he’s interested in me,” Madison said dully.
Brooke put her brush down. “Why do you say that?”
Madison shrugged. “He barely talks to me.”
“That’s because Robbie’s jealous and doesn’t want you two to talk,” Brooke pointed out.
“And here you thought he was a coxcomb,” Madison said, shaking her head and digging her bare toes into the carpet.
“He is. He’s a jealous coxcomb. He just doesn’t want to see you happy,” Brooke explained. “He’ll get over it once he sees you’re still interested in Leo. His pride was wounded when you told him you’d moved on. Give him time to gather the pieces.”
“Perhaps you’re right. But what if it takes Robbie too long to get over his newfound infatuation with me and I lose Leo? I really like him, Brooke. In fact, I think I might love him.”
Brooke shook her head and smiled. “I hate to mention this, but you are aware you’ve only had a handful of conversations with him, right?”
“I know,” Madison said with a smile. “But it’s enough. Sometimes when you know, you know.”
“Then ask him how he feels about you,” Brooke advised, fixing the sleeve of her nightgown. “Tomorrow night we go to the Flank’s house for a dinner party. He’ll be there, too. I’ll try to distract Robbie for a minute and you go talk to Leo.”
That night, just like every night in the past few weeks, she barely slept. The next day she rehearsed exactly what she’d say to him at the party. She tried to condense it all down to fit in under a minute just in case Brooke was unsuccessful in apprehending Robbie.
The dinner party was packed. There were at least fifty guests and it was hard to find a moment to seek out Leo. Brooke noticed her lack of conversation with Leo and devised a plan to help her. She’d suggested to the hostess they all hide and have someone find them all. Of course this suggestion was met with as much groaning as charades had been, but the hostess insisted she wanted to play and everyone went to find their hiding places.
Madison purposely walked slowly down the hallway in the hopes he’d follow her. She knew of a room that had a private balcony and slipped inside to wait for him. A few minutes later the door opened and she nearly jumped with glee. He’d come for her. Running out from behind the curtains where she’d been standing, she abruptly halted when she saw her guest was Robbie, not Leo.
“Oh,” she said, disappointment present in her voice.
“Madison, we need to talk,” he said solemnly. “It’s about Leo.”
“Leo?” she questioned. “What about him?”
“He’s no good for you. I know you like him, and oh, how I hate that you do, but he’s no good.”
“What do you mean?” she insisted. He’d done nothing in the past weeks to make her think poorly of him.
Robbie came to stand by her and grabbed her hand. “He’s using you,” he said simply, squeezing her hand affectionately.
“What do you mean?” she repeated innocently.
“He’s just trying to get under your skirt,” he said with a sigh.
Her eyes went wide. She didn’t believe it. “I don’t believe it.”
“Believe it.”
“No,” she said fiercely. “He’s not like that.”
“Yes, he is. The first night he came with me to the ball he was searching out women he wanted to bed,” Robbie told her.
She suddenly felt overheated and opened the door to step out onto the balcony. “How do you know?”
Robbie joined her on the balcony and shut the door. “He told me,” he said bluntly. “He thinks women are only good for one thing: lifting their skirts.”
“But why me?” she asked excitedly.
He shrugged again. “Why not you?” he countered. “You’re beautiful.” His statement spoken as if it was an awful thing to be beautiful.
“There are lots of pretty girls around,” she said defensively. “That’s not a good enough reason.”
“Yes, it is. He said he views you a courtesan with a challenge. But that’s a challenge he won’t walk away from. He wants your virtue,” Robbie explained.
She felt all her dreams slip away. Was it possible he was only interested in bedding her and nothing more? He’d laughed at her naughty jest and even encouraged her to talk in that manner. Had he said those things hoping she’d discover the wanton he thought lurked in her soul and then join him in bed? She was going to be sick.
“Madison,” Robbie said, bringing her out of her thoughts. “I’m not like him. I don’t see women that way at all. I know there’s more to you than your vibrant beauty. Actually, I don’t even see your beauty. I don’t care about it. I’ll treat you right. I’ll become a monk if you ask it of me.”
His words so comforting and soothing to breaking heart. He may not be the smartest man in existence, or even in the top ninety-five percent, but he’d just pledged to treat her right. What more could she ask for? It was obvious she couldn’t follow her heart; it led her to the wrong man. But perhaps she could follow logic. “What are you saying?” she asked.
“Let me court you,” he said with a slow smile. “I know you said you don’t love me anymore, but I don’t believe you. Give me another chance.”
Madison nodded. “All right,” she agreed, allowing herself to be pulled into his embrace.
“Promise me, Madison. Promise me you’ll give me a chance. Don’t let him, or any other bounder for that matter, court you. Only me,” he pulled her closer. “Promise me, Madison. I want to hear you say it.”
In for a penny, in for a pound, she thought. If this is what it took to secure a good man who didn’t see her as only a bed partner, she’d promise him anything. “Not him, only you,” she whispered weakly, winding her arms around his neck.
He brought his head down and pressed a slimy, unsatisfactory kiss on her lips. She tried to force a smile in return. A poor kisser was an easy price to pay the security of knowing she was wanted for herself and not her body. Although, if there’d been a musket pressed to her head, she would have admitted she’d have preferred her first kiss to be from that no-good bounder Leo. Oh well, the less she thought of
him
the better.
Later that night she told Brooke of the new change of events. To which Brooke’s response had been total silence and to stare at her as if she needed to be packed off to an insane asylum post haste. When she finally gathered her bearings, Brooke spent an hour trying to convince Madison that Robbie was wrong. Finally, Madison agreed to confront Leo about his words next time she saw him. But she never saw him again. After the night of the party he seemed to have vanished into thin air. Madison had once asked Robbie about him, and after the temper he went into over her innocent question, she never asked again.
And so began the game of cat and mouse or rather puppeteer and puppet.
Over the course of their courtship, they’d had their share of disagreements about why they’d never formally announced their engagement. Or why he kept company with other women. He’d always use some excuse about being too young or getting to enjoy his bachelor freedom a while longer, but not to worry, he’d marry her.
No one in her family championed for their match and it didn’t take her very long to realize Brooke was definitely right about one thing: the man had the intelligence of a goose. He was always adding incorrectly, or using the wrong word in conversations, dripping things on himself while he ate, he couldn’t tell time on his pocket watch correctly, and he even hurt himself quite frequently because he hadn’t used enough brain power to consider the repercussions of his actions. She typically just brushed his actions off as something she could contend with. Just as long as their children inherited her intelligence, that is. If not, she might go mad.
A few times over the years, she’d told him she was going to allow others to court her. His response was typically to remind her of her folly the last time she’d done that and remind her that any man but him would only want her for her body.
After four and a half years she decided she was desperate enough to marry him she’d do just about anything. Including dropping subtle hints about her wanting to deepen their relationship. It didn’t take him long to catch on and soon she found herself exactly where she didn’t want to be: unwed and in his bed. She knew she’d been playing with fire when she’d dropped the hints. She’d just hoped he’d take them differently. But, he was a man, therefore, he did his thinking with the head that didn’t possess a brain and interpreted her eagerness and curiosity as willingness to share his bed with or without a wedding ring.
In her own naivety she hadn’t anticipated this. She thought he’d take the hints to mean it was time to get married. But he hadn’t and when she tried to back out, he wouldn’t let her. He’d called her a tease and insisted she was correct, it was time to deepen their relationship and he even guilted her about her feelings for him not being strong enough if she wasn’t willing to go to bed with him. Wanting to prove him wrong, she’d joined him in bed. And not just once. No, she’d slept with him more than a dozen times before she realized the painful truth: he’d never marry her, nor did she ever actually want him to.
***
The sound of the front door slamming woke her from her time travels and she sat up and rubbed her eyes. Perhaps Benjamin was right in one respect, she thought, tightening the pins in her coiffure. Apparently those who appear to be the dumbest people are truly the most harmful to others. Not that she could fault Robbie entirely on that score. She’d been the one stupid enough to believe his cock and bull stories for five years.