“But I didn't count on all the walls makin' me crazy. Chicken cookers work inside here. Almost go zoid in all those walls. But I gotta get back. Gina, she said she kill me twice, once for fun and once for sure, if I don't be true to her. She gonna think I run off for good. She gonna marry somebody else, and that would kill me all by itself.”
“Anyone that mean is still waiting for you,” Tom said, trying to comfort him.
Jeans rolled in the coats. “You think?”
“Sure,” Tom said.
“You got a way with words, man,” Jeans said. “Maybe you a writer after all.”
Tom ate the seeds from the top of the bag. “I'm looking for a job for now. A real job.”
Jeans laughed. “Nobody gonna give you a job.”
“Why not?”
“ 'Cause, don't you see, you a street kid! What can you do?”
Tom shrugged. “I can swim. And spell.”
“You got a diploma? References? What your SIN? Hell's bells, you don't even have a address or a shower. You are what they call
un-stay-bull.”
Tom spat out some shells. “If you're so smart, you tell me how to get rich.”
Jeans leaned back into the coats. “You gotta get a university education.”
“Yeah? How do you do that?”
“Easy. You fill out forms, you pay tuition.”
“Tuition?”
“Money.”
“Got some tuition in a locker at the Greyhound,” Tom said. “So, why don't you get a university education?”
“First I gotta get home and get my girl, Gina. I need a job.”
“But you're a street kid, too.”
“Yeah, but I got somethin' that's gonna make them forget that: posture.”
Tom gaped at him a moment. “Posture?”
“Posture. You just look at them downtown folks. They all stand so straight and tall. You hunch over all the time, half in your pockets. Easy to tell you street-lovin'.”
Tom thought about it a moment, then nodded. “I'll try it,” he said. “Well, I guess I've got to go.” Tom began to climb down from the tree.
“Hey, whatcha gettin' rich to buy?”
“A billboard,” Tom said. “I only need $5,326 now.” He was trying to keep his back straight as he climbed down.
Jeans started to laugh. He laughed the whole time Tom was climbing down. When Tom touched ground and looked up, he could see feathers from holes in the down coats flying like snow.
“You a writer for sure, man,” Jeans called down. “Nothin' you say make sense.” Tom could see Jeans's head, a spoon of a head only a little blacker than the night sky, leaning out from the platform. “Well, I forgot to tell you. I'm not just a writer. I'm a Finder.”
“What's a finder?”
“I find things.”
“Like what?”
“Like jobs. And money, and muffins. And other stuff.”
“How you get to be like that?”
“A medicine man told me I had the gift.”
“Sheesh. Whatever. You let me know if you find a job with no walls, Mr. Finder,” Jeans said.
“Sure,” Tom said. “By the way, do you know a kid named Pepsi?”
“I do. He hang in the Devonian garden. He is there, but he not easy to find. 'Cept for you, maybe, huh?”
Jeans's moon smile floated a moment in the spoon sky and was gone. Rolling his pen between his fingers, Tom walked to his island.
Tom found out that the Devonian garden was a huge indoor jungle. The downtown workers ate their lovely-looking lunches there. He went there the next evening.
He didn't know how anybody could hang out there. It was humid in the atrium jungle, and Venus gravity. He felt as if he were in an aquarium and any minute someone would reach in with a giant net and pluck him out. He hung out all evening, and he went back again the next day. That night he stayed until the last person left before lockup for the night. He hid under a huge umbrella plant until the lights dimmed and the footsteps of the security guard faded away. He and Pepsi both emerged from hiding at the same time.
Pepsi was about his age, with his hair in a ponytail hanging out the back of his baseball cap. His hair was pink, and the shadows under his eyes were almost black. His lips were gray, and his eyes bloodshot red. His colors were in all the wrong places.
“Pepsi?”
“Who's asking?”
“Tom.” He held out his hand. Well-mannered, that's what he was. He'd have to write that down. Pepsi ignored his hand and began picking at his neck, which was covered in sores. “I'm looking for a guy named Daniel. Daniel Wolflegs. I need to talk to him. Someone told me you might know where he was.”
Pepsi considered him for a minute. “I heard you were asking for Daniel. I was thinking you look like a burb kid, and I'm wondering why a burb kid would be looking for Daniel.”
“Burb kid?”
“Burb kids come to the streets because they think the world is only as bad as their daddy. Come to think of it, you've been here too long to be a burb kid. Maybe you're a freep. Are you a freep?”
Tom stared at him.
“Freep. Kids who come to streets a bit at a time, going to the bars and the pool halls, parties, couch-surfing. Then hard people start putting the pressure on them to earn their keep.” He smiled. “That was me.”
“I'm looking for a job,” Tom said.
Pepsi laughed. “You're a funny man.” He took a half-smoked cigarette out of his pocket and stuck it in his mouth. He looked at Tom. “How old are you?”
“Um . . . about sixteen,” Tom said.
Pepsi sucked on the unlit cigarette. “More like fourteen. Did you know that there are only two words in the English language that end in
gârây
?”
Tom shook his head.
“Hungry and angry,” Pepsi said. Tom waited for him to light the cigarette, but he didn't. “How come you never smile?” Pepsi asked.
“My brain smiles,” Tom said. “It's just that my face isn't attached to my brain anymore.”
Pepsi walked around him, and Tom kept turning to face him. “So. Everyone's here for a reason. You've got your punch kids, and your diddle kids. Those ones are the runaways. Then you've got your throwaways.”
“I just want to know where I can find Daniel Wolflegs. I heard you were his friend.”
Pepsi sucked on the unlit cigarette again as if it were a soother. “As I was saying about throwaways . . . Daniel is a throwaway. His dad said he could do his drugs somewhere not in his house. They changed the locks on him.” Pepsi laughed low, then rubbed his eyes. “So, what are you?”
“What am I?”
Pepsi just looked at him hard with his red eyes.
“I'm a Finder.” Tom didn't know why he said it. Maybe just to hear Pepsi laugh. It worked. It made his face go from old to fifteen.
“What's a Finder?” Pepsi said, still laughing. “Some kind of superhero?”
“They find things.”
“Like what?”
“Like what they're looking for. It . . . it's a gift. Daniel's dad, Samuel Wolflegs, told me I had the gift.”
“You're messing with me.”
“So have you seen Daniel around?”
Pepsi came right up to Tom. “You're zoid,” he said.
“What's that?”
Pepsi shoved his face into Tom's. Tom wasn't scared. He must have been able to fight before the Forgetting. Yeah, he was pretty sure he could remember what if felt like to get punched in the face. He had to write that down, that he could fight. Besides, Pepsi seemed thin and weak. Tom could take him.
“Tough, huh?” Pepsi said. He grinned and backed up a step. He shrugged. “Can't hurt me anyway since I'm already dead.”
Tom remembered the old man under the bridge. “Dead?”
“Cracked head,” Pepsi said, pointing to the top of his head. He laughed at the expression on Tom's face. “It's Forget. You know? People say it's killing me, but I say that happened a long time ago.” Pepsi came close to him, but this time it was to put his arm around him. He spoke to him in a confiding voice.
“See, Tom, when someone takes their first crack at it, that's when they decide to die. They get high as heaven, but they can't stay there. They keep coming down to dead, and every time they come down they're deader than before. They try again, but heaven won't keep them, and people keep charging them for a peek. Pretty soon they just want to be dead even if it means hell. One day they find out they're so dead that the worms are eating them up, coming right out of the pores of their skin. They pick at them, and that's what gives them sores, all that picking at worms.”
“There's no worms,” Tom said, looking at Pepsi's neck.
“You can tell them that. They might even believe you. But they still pick.” Pepsi flicked Tom's cheek. “I tell you that so you'll know. Forget means die.”
Pepsi began walking away as if the conversation was over.
“Hey,” Tom said. “Hey! Please, just tell me where to find Daniel. Look, I promise, I don't want anything bad to happen to him. If he tells me to leave him alone, I will. Where could I find him?”
“I forget,” Pepsi said, and he laughed. But in a moment he said, “Look, I don't know where he is. He's sick, you know? But you might try Jon Jonson's. Jon's a consumer, a real criminal element. Rents the Head house.”
Tom wanted to ask what the “head house” was, but Pepsi didn't stop talking long enough to ask. “Very uptight guy, has some sort of reputation to uphold. He golfs, man, if you can believe it. You could try the youth shelter, too. Daniel goes there sometimes when he doesn't feel up to things.”
“Thanks,” Tom said.
Pepsi nodded. He butted the still-unlit cigarette on a bench and pocketed it again. He glanced at Tom as if he might have more to say, then walked away without looking back.
Tom walked the other direction to the doors of the Devonian. He knocked ten minutes before a security guard came to let him out.
It took Tom a day and a few more blisters to find the Head house. He knew it when he'd found it. It had a large wooden fence. One of the wooden gatepost tops had been carved into the head of an old man.
Tom's hand had been feeling better, but it throbbed once as he opened the gate. He held it up to his chest again.
The lawn was trim, and the house had been painted a conservative gray with dark charcoal trim. Tall lilies grew by the porch. No one walking by would notice this house if it weren't for the carved head on the gatepost. When Tom knocked, no one came to the door. He could hear music. After knocking a third time, he opened the door. There was hardwood flooring and a plant in a large pot in the hallway. Tom licked his hand, took a deep breath, and walked in. In the living room to his right, several people were splayed out on a couch and on the rug. One man with a short, neat haircut lifted his head from the back of the couch. He regarded Tom with calm eyes.
“If you're a narc, you're too late. It's all gone,” he said. He let his head fall back onto the couch.
“I'm looking for Daniel Wolflegs,” Tom said. He was searching for Daniel while he said it, but Daniel wasn't there.
The man asked a girl beside him, “If a thief walks into my house, doesn't that give me the right to shoot him or something?”
Tom felt something beating in his chest area, but he couldn't tell if it was his hand or his heart. “I'm just looking for Daniel Wolflegs,” he said. “Pepsi told me I might find him here.”
The man didn't raise his head again. He said, “And I'm looking for a reason to shoot you. Asking for Daniel is good enough.”
“It's just a kid,” the girl beside him on the couch drawled. “Daniel isn't here, kid,” she said to Tom. “He hasn't been here for a long time. You'd better go.”
Tom and his hand were both glad to get out of there.
Tom found the youth shelter next.
A social worker with bright red hair told him that Daniel stayed there sometimes, but no one had seen him for a few weeks. She invited Tom to stay there that night. She gave him toothpaste.
The shelter smelled of cigarette smoke so strongly that you couldn't smell any other smell. A few kids were watching TV in the living room. They only glanced at him, but they did see him.
One of us,
their eyes said. It made Tom uneasy. He didn't like the way others saw him. He wasn't one of them. He wanted to make himself up. Tom went upstairs to a bed, sat on the edge, and took out his book and pen.
He opened his book. Remembering that he hadn't backed down from Pepsi, and sure of the memory of getting punched in the face, he wrote: Tom Finder can fight.
He was making himself up, inventing the story of himself. You could do that when you didn't know anything about yourself, when you'd forgotten everything. When you had only a few days of yourself to remember, you could write down everything you knew about yourself.