Authors: Starr West
Tags: #adventure, #fantasy, #dreams, #magical realism, #postapocalypse, #goddesses, #magic adventure
I carefully
wrapped the creature in my shirt and held it close to my chest.
Though my shirt was soaked, it was better than nothing. The
creature looked so vulnerable and lifeless, but it was still a wild
animal and likely to have teeth. The little lizard was covered in a
soft fine skin, tiny scales that reflected the colours around it.
Its body was no bigger than my hand, but its tail was twice as
long. Bulgy eyes were hidden behind closed lids and I wondered what
secrets its eyes concealed. Like the secrets that were contained in
my eyes. The secrets that both Libby and Phoenix searched for as
often as they could.
The tiny
creature moved. He was still alive. Libby could help save its life
or maybe Phoenix knew something about forest lizards. I stood up to
leave and looked for the path. I looked for something familiar,
something recognisable, something, anything that would lead me
home, but it was too late. I was lost. So much for promises.
What did
Phoenix tell me to do when I was lost? Phoenix said “when” not
“if”. He always said when I got lost, I should stay put and someone
would find me. It seemed logical at the time, but what if nobody
realised I was in the rainforest? I promised never to go in the
forest alone. What if they trusted me? What if they didn’t even
look for me? What if they didn’t find me? I had no idea how far I’d
wandered. It didn’t seem like far, but the canopy was thick
overhead and I couldn’t see the sky, which would mean that I wasn’t
close to the edge of the forest where the trees grew further apart
and the canopy was thinner.
If I could see
the sun, perhaps I could find my way out. It was still early and I
knew where the sun rose in the sky. The sun would give me some
bearing, something recognisable that I could follow, if only the
mist weren’t so thick. I wondered if people were born with a sense
of direction. Is it a natural part of a person’s DNA? Or something
I could learn? I had to try.
Libby’s
property wasn’t fenced and backed onto about a thousand hectares of
wilderness forest. I figured my biggest problem wasn’t that I was
lost and freezing to death; it was that potentially, I could get
really lost, never-to-be-found lost!
The little
lizard was barely alive and the longer I waited, the worse he would
get. I had to make a decision - stay put or find home. I thought
about the spider webs that crossed the path and the other creatures
that would venture out in the forest at dawn; there was no way I
was staying put.
I walked slowly
at first, trying to find something that looked familiar. The cold
had worked its way through to my bones, forcing me to take awkward,
shaky steps. I looked deep into the forest, trying to see the
garden beyond the undergrowth. The ferns were getting thicker and
vines tangled across my trail, I knew I was headed in the wrong
direction. I retraced my steps and found the place where I had
squished the little lizard. I was thankful for that. The spider
webs were no longer crossing the path so they provided no clues for
me to follow. I chose a new path and headed off in that
direction.
The foolishness
of my actions began to overwhelm me. How could I be so stupid? This
was reckless and irresponsible. I was cold and miserable and
clutching a dying reptile in my arms.
I walked and
cried, and cried and walk some more. My eyes stung and my nose ran
in constant viscous stream. I didn’t even notice if the forest
looked familiar or if the undergrowth was thick or thin. Suddenly,
I’d had enough, I sat on the ground, the cold earth soaking through
me while pointed sticks stabbed me in the back.
Eventually the
tears dried, but my nose still ran and my body shook. In the
silence, I heard the faint trickle of water. The creek! I could
hear the creek! The creek would help me find the pump and the
path.
Finally, I
found the path and stumbled out of the forest into Libby’s yard as
I hastily walked toward the house. I had no idea how long I’d been
gone, but the misty clouds had turned into a drizzly rain and the
wind stabbed at me like needles of ice. I almost fell through the
door.
“Flamin’ hell,
Psyche! What happened to you?” Navarre exclaimed.
Libby ran
toward me with a towel and Phoenix pulled a seat from the table.
They fumbled, fussed, and waited, but I couldn’t speak through my
chattering teeth. Unfolding my top, I revealed the small creature I
was carrying and handed it to Libby.
“Phoenix, run
the bath, she doesn’t need the chill in her bones.” I couldn’t stop
shaking, I was sure the chill had already reached my bones.
Phoenix and
Navarre helped me to my feet and half dragged me to the bathroom. I
was still shaky and cold, but my nose no longer streamed.
“Do you want me
to help you get naked?”
“Just get out,
Navarre,” Phoenix pushed his brother out the door, “Yell if you
need help and we’ll send in Libby.”
I nodded and
caught my reflection in the mirror. Dirt caked my face and tears
made streaks upon my mud-stained cheeks like bad camouflage. My
hair appeared to be beyond repair. The crazy mess from this morning
was now teased and twisted with sticks and leaves and pieces of
bark. I removed my sodden pyjamas, which hit the floor with a thud
and slipped into the hot water’s comforting embrace.
Navarre was
smiling when I returned to the kitchen. “I’ll leave ya to it,
brother. And Psyche, next time you want to go for a walk, take some
breadcrumbs… it worked for Hansel and Gretel.”
Phoenix smiled,
“We were so worried about you, but Libby said you’d be okay.”
“One of the
perks of having friends in high places,” Libby smiled. She was
talking about her guides I guess. Mediums are supposed to know more
then you expect.
“Libby came and
got me and Navarre about two hours ago and told us you were
lost.”
“Why didn’t you
come and find me?”
“It was a bit
tricky because you kept moving around, we needed to wait until you
stopped walking in circles. By the time you did, Libby saw that you
would find you own way home so we’ve been waiting.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,
I should have… I shouldn’t have…”
Libby put her
arm around me. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, you were in no
danger and you just learnt another valuable lesson.”
“What about the
creature? Is it still alive?” I couldn’t see the poor little thing
anywhere.
“We put it in a
box near the fire.”
I put a little
comfrey and lavender ointment on the little fella. It looks as if
it fell into a fire.”
“What is it?” I
looked at Phoenix.
“Libby, have
you seen anything like that before?” Phoenix didn’t sound like he
knew either.
Libby shrugged,
“I don’t think so. Maybe it’s a baby forest lizard, some juvenile
something.”
“That’s what I
thought, a forest lizard,” I said as if I had some knowledge of
rainforest creatures. Phoenix raised his eyebrows and shook his
head.
“I don’t think
so, but we will save its life first and figure out what it is
later,” he said.
Phoenix
continued to fuss over me for a while bringing me hot coffee and
milky sweet porridge. Meanwhile, Libby stayed with me, waiting for
my shaking to stop. While the worst of it was over, I was
occasionally overcome with uncontrolled shudders.
“So, do you
think we could do some work today?” Libby realised that another day
was about to pass without applying any effort to my magickal
training.
“Yeh sure, I’m
good to go,” I shuddered as I tried to sound enthusiastic. Each day
had presented a new delay and for that, I was secretly thankful. I
just wished the events had been a little less dramatic.
The prophecy
was supposed to be my main concern, though it seemed I had learnt a
good deal about magick and nothing about the prophecy. I read the
prophecy again, this time written in my own handwriting. Although I
was filled with doubt, my doubt didn’t relate to these words. I was
sure these were the words spoken to the first daughter hundreds of
years ago. My uncertainty lay in the notion that none of it was
relevant to me, nor even remotely related to my life.
“You’ve had a
few days to think about the prophecy. What do you think it
means?”
I wanted to say
I thought it proved I was from a line of crazy women, but I knew
Libby would not find it at all amusing. Instead, I said, “I guess
the first part is saying that we are children of the earth, rather
than human children, like the earth is our mother. But I don’t
understand the reference to yew, willow and oak.”
Libby explained
that all humans are children of the earth and we are most certainly
human. All belong to the earth. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust and so
on. “Yew, willow and oak are three very potent sources of magick.
They remind us that we are also daughters of magick. And of course
you realise this began in England, not here in Australia.”
“The next verse
is about the veil and how it was used to protect us, but won’t in
nine generations,” I hesitated at this because I really wasn’t
sure.
“Yes, that’s
very good. We’ll get back to the veil shortly. I’m still not sure
what conclusion you came to the other day. The final part says the
knowledge will pass from one daughter to the next as it always has.
The prophecy is the eternal link that bonds you to the first
daughter and all the other daughters. The Darnell Book of Shadows
is the memory of that knowledge.”
“So what about
the veil? I read that it was formed because people used dark magick
to take advantage of other people,” I asked.
“I expect
that’s very true, though it happened long before I was born or any
of the Darnells. The important issue for us is that we live in the
generation when it will fail. Perhaps it will just dissolve into
nothingness.”
“Is that why so
many people got sick and died? And why there have been so many
disasters and wars?”
“Perhaps, but
that may be an entirely different issue. I can’t be sure that one
didn’t affect the other, but I don’t know.” And I thought Libby
knew everything.
“There are many
ancient tribes that warned us about the veil, but they never said
we could prevent it. A number of ancient civilisations said that
our only course of action was to find fellowship with the earth;
and even that wouldn’t be enough for some.”
“Is that why
you came to live here? To get away from it all and live in harmony
with the earth?”
“More or less,
but my mother came here and started this life for us. She was the
foundation builder, the sixth daughter,” she paused and looked at
Phoenix. He was quiet, but sat watching me as if he were testing my
knowledge… or something.
For a moment, I
said nothing and waited. Then, as if my brain kicked into gear, it
came to me, “My great grandmother was the sixth daughter?”
“Yes, so I’m
the seventh daughter,” Libby spoke slowly, deliberately, allowing
me time to think this through.
“No, that can’t
be right. That means… Mum was the eighth and I am the ninth? That
means I am the ninth daughter? No, how can this be?” I sat in
silence, trying to shape the thoughts and sort the confusion raging
in my mind. Libby didn’t say a word.
“No, this is
wrong, I’ve been learning about the family’s history, times past,
generations before me, long dead women who left a legacy of magick
and madness,” I heard myself shouting.
Libby was calm.
“I thought it was understood, Psyche, you were told it was the
prophecy of the ninth daughter. I thought you understood this.”
“You never said
I was the ninth daughter!” This was crazy, I had read the words and
there was no indication that I was the one.
“You didn’t
want me to understand, you wanted me to make promises and get
sucked into your stupid magick before I could escape. That’s why
you spoke in riddles and half sentences! That’s why everyone looks
at me like they do! That’s why… huh?” I spun to face Phoenix, “Did
you know? Oh, of course you knew, and Tahinah and Navarre! Everyone
knows, everyone! How could you?”
“Psyche, you
are blowing this way out of proportion, not everyone knows. Sure
Phoenix and Tahinah know; even Navarre knows some of it, but not
everyone. There’s no need for all this…” I didn’t let her finish, I
stood up to run. I had to escape. I had to get out of there. As I
ran for the door, Phoenix stepped in the way.
“How could
you?” I spat out and ran out of the house and down the driveway. I
could hear Phoenix calling me.
I should have
left when Mum died. I thought about it then, but I was afraid.
Instead, I stayed with a woman I hardly knew and promised to learn
her stupid magick and a prophecy that meant nothing to me. I did it
for Mum, I stayed for Mum. I felt more betrayed than ever, not only
by Libby, but also by my mother, the woman who was supposed to
protect me and keep me safe. Instead, she lied to me, abandoned me,
left me an orphan, and left me with a legacy that was both insane
and impossible. These people think I am special when I’m ordinary.
Eight generations had lived their lives with the promise that I
would be exceptional, when the truth is, I am everything but.
My mind raced,
I had no way of tracking my thoughts and there was no way to make
sense of this. At least now, I had a reason to be angry. My ears
were ringing, but for once, I wasn’t crying. I was too mad to cry
and too stupid to understand who I was from the beginning. Saying
no would have been so much easier.
My running
slowed to a stomping march and eventually into a slow walk. The
walking calmed me a little, but I had reached the end of the drive
too fast to turn around and go home. I was still angry and the last
two people I wanted to see right now were waiting for me to
return.