Olivia
I watch the beautiful girls in glamorous dresses practically glide around the restaurant. I envy them and their porcelain skin. I envy the way they sway with fluid movements—movements so graceful, they give flowers swaying gently in the afternoon breeze a run for their money. I definitely feel like I’m sitting low on the attractive scale tonight—especially with the minor sunburn I received after being at the beach with Seth all day. Why he let me sleep in the middle of a Californian beach in the middle of the day is beyond me. Apparently, I looked ‘too comfortable’ to wake. He smiles at me from across the table and I roll my eyes at him. I don’t care how comfortable I looked, I’m not comfortable anymore, my skin stings a little and I’m tired as hell.
The tight black dress with the plunging neckline
I’ve chosen to wear tonight may make me look slimmer, but it does nothing to lessen the pinkish hue in my skin.
“I’m assuming you’ve been to California before?” I ask, slipping a piece of ravioli into my mouth.
Seth has been more than accommodating here in California. He knows which beaches to hit, what restaurants make the best steak, and I’ve yet to pull out my wallet to pay for anything—which is very strange for me. With Blade, I paid for almost everything. I don’t like depending on people, it makes me uncomfortable. Depending on someone else doesn’t come natural to me, but Seth has no problem swiping his card anywhere we go.
“Jackson and I used to c
ome here every summer for a couple of years.”
He smiles at me before taking a long sip of his ice cold water. I admire the way his black formal shirt tigh
tens around his thick arms as he lowers the glass to the table.
“Hard
ly an innocent visit, I presume?”
His
eyes flare, dropping briefly to my chest before dragging back to my face. His lips curve into a mischievous smirk. “Is anything I do innocent?”
Marvel
ing over my burning cheeks and how quickly he made them flush, I reply, “Never.”
He holds me in his stare and suddenly my mouth is dry. I swallow hard and his dark eyes drop to my throat. The
way he stares at me, like he wants to take me right now, sends a myriad of heat through my body and it pulses everywhere. I quickly run my tongue over my lips to moisten them. I need to do something—anything—to quench my desire for him and to stop myself from diving over the table and running my mouth over him. He looks at my lips with such fierce, erotic intensity before finally looking me in the eyes.
“Let’s get out of here.”
There’s no question to his words. He wants to get out of here, n
ow
. Dropping my fork against my bowl with a cling, I nod my head. Who needs dinner when I have dessert waiting for me? Seth rushes to his feet in a hurry, pulling cash from his back pocket and dropping it on the table. As I push my seat back, a tall, beautiful girl in a gorgeous red gown floats graciously toward our table. Her eyes are on me first and I look at Seth, who’s watching me with a questioning gleam in his eye. I arch an eyebrow. Strange that he thinks she’s here for me, I haven’t made any friends in California and Selena is my only real girl friend, anyway. I give him a ‘She’s not mine’ shake of the head and look back to the girl, who’s closed the distance between her and the table. Once she’s here, her gaze shifts to Seth and I’m no longer worthy of her attention. I take in her tight red dress. It clings to the subtle curves of her body and I hate that it looks so fucking good on her.
“Seth!”
she cheers, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around his neck. “I can’t believe it, it’s been so long!”
I watch, curiously, as his body goes rigid and he places a hand on the small of her back, returning the hug
—sort of. When she pulls back, he seems almost frustrated.
“Don’t tell me you don’t remember me?”
He glances at me, his facial expression melting from annoyed to worried. There’s a bubble in my chest…jealousy? I think so. I’m mad, but I don’t want him to know it. Frustration burrows in under my ribs and I shuffle back in my seat. I forgot that Seth has a myriad of lady followers—I remember the ones that came for him in the gym clearly.
“
No, sorry.”
She shifts her weight, planting a manicured hand firmly on her hip. “Jesse? We
hung
out at the Newport beach party last year.” The way she says ‘hung’ makes me sick. I really hope she stops sparing my feelings—besides, how old is she?
“How old are you?”
I blurt out, leaning forward in my chair.
Seth
’s stare flicks to me, warning clear in his eyes. I’m not implying Seth would voluntarily have sex with someone under the legal limit, but there’s no way this girl is older than seventeen.
“Twenty
-six.”
I clench my teeth to prevent my mouth from falling open.
Twenty-six? How is she older than both Seth and I? Her face is doll-like and she has a mass of golden curls that are tied into a classy bun. She has high cheek bones and huge blue eyes. Seventeen. I swear to god she’s seventeen.
“Anyway—” She exhales, turning her attention back to Seth. “How long
will you be in California?”
“Not long
…” He glances sideways at me. “Maybe we should have this conversation somewhere else.”
The red-lipped smile that spreads over her face makes me sick. As she steps past him, he turns to me. “I’ll be right back. Stay here.”
I’m glaring at him, I can feel it. With a clenched jaw, Seth turns and follows the girl somewhere. When they disappear from sight, I slump into myself.
I tap my fingers along the white tablecloth for what feels like my fourth hour. I pull my phone from my handbag. It’s only been eleven minutes. I sigh, dropping it back inside and placing my bag on the table. What the hell is this? We’re having dinner one minute and about to go home a
nd tear into each other. The next, he’s gone with a girl he’s fucked and I’m alone at the table. That’s not okay, right? Shit. I don’t know. I don’t know what’s acceptable and what isn’t! Why couldn’t he tell her to go? Why couldn’t he tell her we were leaving? Why am I so pissed off? I can feel it poisoning my mood.
As soon as that thought passes, Set
h appears back at the edge of the table. “Ready to go?”
Without a word, I grab my bag and rise to my feet. I keep my eyes on the floor as
we leave the restaurant. When we reach the car, he opens the door for me and I climb in. When he slips into the driver’s seat and shuts his door, my brain sends words shooting from my mouth before getting my tongue’s approval.
“Did you have sex with her
last time you were here?” I’m proud of the indifference in my voice.
“Yes.” Not one second of hesitation on his part and I don’t know whether I should be disturb
ed or proud of his honesty. “Are you mad?”
I ponder the question, raking my teeth over my bottom lip, nervously. “I don’t know
…is it always going to be like this?”
He doesn’t answer and I take it as a big fat yes.
“Olivia, I told you that this part of my life was complicated. It’s not complicated with drama and dark secrets. It’s complicated with girls and their partners who want to kick my ass. I want to tell you that it won’t happen again, but that’d be a lie.” He exhales. “I’m not good…and I don’t have any emotional back story that’ll make you sympathize with my behavior. I like sex—love sex—I love the way it feels. Plain and simple. I’m bad, I
told
you that…and you still wanted me.”
He’s right, I know that, but things were different before I fell in love with him. Back then, I only wanted fun. I only wanted to get back at Blade, but now, I want to be with Seth for the rest of my life. I want to be proud of him
…I don’t want to feel sick every time a girl talks to him because they’ve fucked. It’s not a nice feeling.
“I don’t want to fight, just take us home
,” I tell him, leaning back against the headrest and shutting my eyes against a headache that threatens to form. I know he’s going to try and sort this out before we sleep and I hope we can. I don’t want our time to be ruined because of this.
I’d like to say I’m happy with my own thoughts, but at this moment, my thoughts suck. I keep picturing the two of them having sex
…her golden hair flowing everywhere, his strong hands gripping her hips as he thrusts into her.
I open my eyes, desperate to ge
t away from the mental visions.
“Enjoy the silence while you can,”
he grumbles. “Because we’re talking as soon as we get back.”
I look out the window as dread fills my stomach. Talks with Seth are always intense
…he doesn’t believe in sulking and ignoring the issue. He faces things head on and doesn’t stop until a conclusion is made. I don’t know whether I like that approach…or absolutely loathe it. Either way, it was going to happen.
Seth
She drops onto the bed and kicks off her shoes while I lean against the wall with my arms crossed firmly over my chest. I watch as she reaches up to pull the big hoops from her ears and one after the other, she tosses them onto the mahogany bedside table. She’s preparing for bed, but there’s no way in hell I’m letting her go to sleep yet, not until I break down every thought she has and reassure her that she is all I want. I’ll replenish whatever love she lost for me tonight and then some—I won’t take anything less than one hundred and fifty percent.
“Tell me th
e three little words I said to you in Boston.”
She shake
s her head. I know she doesn’t want to get into this now, but I’m not giving her a choice.
“Seth—”
“Tell me,” I demand, stepping forward. “I want to hear you say it.”
“I love you
,” she mumbles.
Easy enough.
“Now ask me how many girls I’ve said it to, besides you.”
Olivia sighs
, her attitude suddenly radiating off of her in waves. “I don’t want to—”
“Ask me.”
My voice comes out a lot more aggressive than I intended, but it startles her enough to answer me.
“How
many?” she snaps.
“None.”
She looks up at me and the sight of her face is almost enough to make me falter and forget the whole situation. “But you already knew that, so why are you upset?”
She glances down at her hands.
“Because—”
“Because a girl I had sex with in the past approached us at dinner? Because I walked her away from the table because I could see how much sh
e was upsetting you?” I unfold my arms. “I couldn’t give two shits about that girl and it hurts that you think she means anything to me.” I quickly rake my fingers through my hair.
I need her to believe that the girl was—is—nothing to me.
“She was as much a stranger to me as she was to you.”
I approach the bed
and drop to my knees in front of her. Her body is tense, waiting for me to do something. I glide my hands up her smooth calves and up the sides of her thighs. Her gorgeous green eyes lock onto mine and the intensity of it makes my heart speed up.
“
What more can I say? Did I have sex with that girl? Yes, twice, but I can tell you with one hundred percent honesty that I don’t even remember how the sex was—I don’t remember my sex life before you anymore. I don’t.
You
are my resolution, O. You are the person I’m here with—the person I choose to be here with.” I grip her, pulling her closer to me. “I love you. I fucking love you more than you’ll ever know and I know tonight hurt you, but I swear to God I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”
Her eyes flick between mine as she soaks in what I said.
“I can’t even tell you her name,” I add, sincerely. “But I can tell you
your
name.” I feel my lips twitch. “I can tell you your favorite color, favorite food, favorite book
and
your favorite brand of perfume. I can download your favorite song right now and not think twice about it. I know you like I’ve never known anyone else.” I inch closer, bringing my face to hers. “If I could go back and change things, I would, without a doubt. But I can’t. So, all I’m asking is for you to trust me. I could never and would never hurt you like that.
Ever.
You’re good and you deserve good. I know I’m far from it, but what I am is all I have to offer you. If you want me, you get everything—my problems, my passions, my past—everything.”
I don’t
need a response from her to know she’s happy with what I said and I get the reaction I want from the feel of her fingertips grazing up my arms.
Olivia is the kind of person that shuts off whenever she’s upset. She won’t touch or talk. She prefers solitude
, to wallow in her own thoughts. Fuck that. The thought of leaving her alone for a second when she’s upset kills me and it’s even worse when I know I’m the one who made her upset in the first place. There’s no filter on my mouth or my actions. I do it and watch the chemicals react. It’s a science experiment, really.
O’s fingers curl around my collar and she pulls me onto the bed
. I willingly follow, neglecting to kick off my shoes. Her soft, alluring body molds perfectly to mine, and I love how soft and feminine she is. I lower my mouth to hers and I can feel her breath quick and nervous on my face, but before I touch, I tell her: “I fucking
love
you with everything I have…and I won’t take anything less from you.”
“And I love you.”
I run my hand over the top of her head, smoothing the dark locks as I look her in the eyes. “Tell me how much you love me.”
I want to hear it. I want her to use ridiculous metaphors and lame lines.
I need it. I need to be reassured because I will not fucking lose her, not tonight.
Her gaze flicks nervously over my face.
“I can’t…”
I feel my eyebrows draw together.
“Why?”
“Becaus
e there are no words that describe what I feel for you.” She swallows hard. “I can tell you I love you to the moon and back, but as far as I’m concerned, it’s not enough. I can tell you I love you to the next universe and back and the distance still isn’t enough to describe how I feel.
I love you
. I love you more than any word, any object, any emotion and any measure of distance this life can ever depict.”
Olivia’s wide green eyes remain lock
ed on mine and she clears her throat. “I overreacted…” The corner of her delicious mouth twitches. “Maybe, but it’s only because I love you and you’re mine.”
I agree.
“I am yours.”
Lines carve their way through her otherwise smooth face, like she wants to get something off her chest.
“I don’t want other girls touching you.”
She catches her plump bottom lip between her teeth and releases
it, lighting my body up like a goddamn Christmas tree. Olivia has always played indifferent when it comes to girls until now and the thought of her claiming me sets my body alight with fiery passion. She hitches her thigh over my hip, pressing me into her.
“I don’t like hearing you
r name on other girls’ lips.” Her fingers snake around my collar and she draws my head closer until her lips graze my ear. “Your name coming out in excited gasps should only fall from my lips and the lips of your spectators, not random girls in restaurants.”
Her tone is aggressive and possessive—a tone I never thought I’d hear come from my sweet ‘do what she’s told’ Olivia. I want to unbutton my shirt so I can breathe a little easier, but I wait and watch, looking forward to what she’
s going to say next. Her eyes narrow. “You will not disappear with another girl ever again. Even if I’m crying and my chest is hiccupping with sobs, you will not fucking leave me.”
I open my mouth to agree with anything she wants, but she yanks on my neck, stopping my words from forming and pulling my lips hard against her own. Her hands push hard against my chest and I let her roll me over onto my back. She straddles me, her warm center hovering directly over my length that presses hard against my slacks. I can feel her warmth radiating through the fabric, teasing me. Her tongue glides against mine and this kiss isn’t like our usual kisses—the kind of kisses where I lead. She’s claiming me, telling me exactly how things are going to go and I can’t be more obliging. Hell, I’ll agree to anything she wants me to do if it means her taking control of me like this every time.
Her hand runs down my stomach before slipping between our bodies and pressing her palm right against my hard dick. “I could make you forget where you are—forget your name and forget her with one swipe of my tongue.” Her finger twitches against my cock and I subtly flex my hips into her hand. She’s never put her mouth on my cock before. I’ve thought about it a million times and I’ve wanted her to, but I’ve never pushed for it. “But I’d much rather you sit and stew, blaming her for not getting
any
tonight.”
Olivia slips off me and I abruptly push myself onto my elbows. My head spins as oxygen floods into my lungs, neglecting my brain. Her fingers trail up the side of her body before curling around the zipper and dra
gging it down the length of her torso. As the zipper nears the end, the dress falls from her, pooling at her high, glassy heels. Words fail me at the sight of her and all of her fucking naked perfection as my eyes drag down her pretty face, over her slim shoulders and linger on her perfectly round breasts. I stare for a few seconds as she stands there, letting me take in her whole form. My stare finally leaves her breasts before making their descent down her smooth navel and onto the bare slit between the gap in her thighs.
Jesus. Fucking. Christ
. I close my eyes briefly in an attempt to prevent a premature accident. She doesn’t have to touch me and I’m all ready to go. I want her to stroke herself while I touch myself—and I want her to do it in those heels. She twirls and strolls toward the bathroom. I shoot up to a seated position.
Where does she think she’s going?
She turns back to me, shielding her body with the bathroom door. “I’m going to shower and then I’m going to bed.”
Bed? Now? After she brought me to the edge? I don’t think so. I launch myself off the bed, ready to join her in the shower, but she shakes her head, stopping me on my war path to ecstasy.
“
No.”
“No?” I can’t believe it. When has she ever said no to me? Is it possible to scowl with a smile? I’m pretty sure that’s what I’m doing.
“You’re sadistic.”
With a
flick of her eyebrows, she closes the bathroom door, leaving me alone in the bedroom. I stare at the chocolate panels of the door, my fingers itching to reach out and twist the gold door handle. If I hadn’t pissed her off tonight, I’d kick the door down and show her exactly who’s in control here, but since I’m already the bad guy, I’ll leave it. I hurt her, so she can be in control for the night and only this
once
. I sigh, turning on my heel and exiting the bedroom. It’s going to be a long fucking night.
***
I kick my shoes off behind the couch and trot up the stairs. I’ve been outside on the balcony in the warm salty air for over forty minutes. I only planned to be out here while Olivia was in the shower, but I got to thinking and I couldn’t stop. Tonight shouldn’t have happened. I’ve never been ashamed of my past. I’ve never stopped and reflected on all of the decisions I’ve made, or at least I hadn’t until they started coming back to bite me in the ass one after the other. I knew they’d come back on me, that’s how karma works, but at the time I didn’t care. The various emotions that flicker over her face when something like this happens—sadness, distaste, jealousy—all of them, they twist my stomach into knots and I feel unworthy of her. Dad always told me that I destroy every good thing I get. Was I destroying Olivia? If this keeps happening, will it change her? Will she care less for me?
I need to marry her so she can’t leave me
…I’m not trying to trap her, I just want the proof that she will be beside me forever—that she wants to be a part of my existence.
Olivia is the one thing I know my Dad would’ve approved of. He wasn’t there for me and when I think of him, the word love doesn’t exactly spring to mind
…but I still wanted him to be proud of me. What son doesn’t want to make his father proud?
I push open the bedroom door and my eyes scan the semi-dark room. I don’t know what I expected to find
…a naked, horny Olivia perhaps? She’s dimmed the lights and dimmed lights are always a good sign. I close the door behind me and as it clicks, I hear the sheets ruffle. In amongst the mass of royal blue sheets and pillows, I see a small foot sticking out over the edge of the bed and I smile to myself.
She actually went to sleep
. She put me in my place and then fell asleep without another word…strangely, I’m proud of her.
Her stubbornness
is what drew me to her in the first place, I suppose. She knows when to contest me and when to surrender. It’s like she has a radar for when I need to be put in my place and when I need to be in control—sure, she’s mixed the two up a few times, but usually, she’s right on the money.
Button after button, I undo my shirt and throw it to the floor. I drop my slacks and replace them
with a pair of loose sweatpants from my suitcase that’s awkwardly strewn across the room. As I crawl across the bed, her clean, fresh scent hits me like a ton of bricks and I realize I’ve frozen in my spot. Her smell flows through me and I close my eyes as it filters through every pore and sets fire to my blood. Forcing myself to move again, I pull back the sheets on my side and slip in. Olivia is facing me, her hand tucked adorably under her chin and her body clothed in a thin, grey nighty that’s pulled up over her hips, exposing the tiniest pair of white lace panties I’ve ever seen. In the dim light, I can’t make out the exact tone of her skin, but I know it’s all a slight shade of pink. I smile, recalling the forty minutes I laid next to her on the beach. I had my sunglasses on so to passersby, we were both sleeping, but in reality, I was watching her. I memorized every inch of exposed skin, creating maps in my head—maps I plan to follow with my lips.