“Holy shit
…” I moan.
M
y legs start to shake as my orgasm builds rapidly, and as it’s about to tip over the edge, Seth slips out from underneath my leg and grabs my hand, forcing both of our fingers onto my clit. He presses his whole body against mine, forcing my back hard against the glass. His mouth slams against mine, absorbing all of my panting as our fingers quickly rub my sensitive flesh, sending shockwaves of pleasure through me. I jolt forward, moans sounding deep in my chest as I taste my own excitement on Seth’s tongue. His mouth doesn’t let up until my legs quiver uncontrollably and my moans have subsided to deep slow breaths. He sucks my bottom lip between his and slides his hands up my side and around to my backside, pulling me hard against him.
“You
will
rub yourself for me next time.”
I’ve never seen Seth so demanding sexually before and it’s exciting. I’m ready to go again. I nod my head, pressing my mouth
to his and tasting myself for the second time.
He pulls away and plants a soft kiss on my nose. “Let’s get out and help Jackson unpack.”
“Wait. What about you?” I gesture to his obvious arousal and he smiles, stepping away from me and underneath the flow of the shower before turning the hot water off. His muscles tense as the cooler water runs over his body, taking his erection with it.
“You don’t want
to have sex?” I ask, confused and disappointed.
I want to have sex with him. Now.
“I want to have sex, but not in the shower and not when people are downstairs. When I take you again, I want you to be free to be as loud as you want, and trust me, when that time comes, you
will
be loud.”
He turns the shower off and I follow him. As we step out onto the
bath mat, he hands me a towel and I run it over my body, drying every droplet and wrapping it around my chest.
I lean against the shower and watch Seth towel off. He runs the cloth up his arm and over his black tattoo—a tattoo I still have no
idea what it represents, but it sure is beautiful. It isn’t tribal, that I know for sure, but the swirls and patterns would have you believe it is. The closer I look, the more the patterns look sharp and angry, but as they pass over the shoulder, the curves become more subtle and peaceful. My gaze drops to the one running across his hip. ‘
If you can make it through the night, there’s a brighter day.’
I remember the first time I saw it. It was the very first time I saw Seth fight and win. “When did you get that one?” I ask out of nowhere.
Seth glances down and then goes back to running the towel through his hair. “When I was sixteen.”
I gape at him.
“Sixteen?”
“Yeah. I went through a bit of a dark period
…” He chuckles. “And I thought I was cool.”
I shift my weight onto my other leg. “Do you regret it?”
“No. I’d never get a tattoo I’d end up regretting. They all mean something to me.”
“All of them? Even that?” I ask, nodding my head toward his shoulder.
He glances at his shoulder. “Especially that.”
I arch a brow and he sighs as he wraps the towel low on his hips.
“You’re probably going to think it’s stupid.”
“It’s tattooed on your skin so it obviously means a lot to you and I won’t think something that means so much is stupid.”
“I started my shoulder tattoo when I was seventeen.” He points to his upper bicep and I make no comment on the absurdity of an underage teenager getting a tattoo. “One day Dad and I got into a huge fight about responsibility—or lack thereof. I got pissed off and being the spiteful asshole that I am, I went and got a tattoo. In the beginning it didn’t really mean anything, just a bunch of angry lines…I would sit in the chair not saying a word and the guy would tattoo anything on me, going purely off my silence.” His finger follows the tattoo up to his shoulder. “Over time, we started talking and I began opening up to him about my father and how he wasn’t impressed with any decision I ever made, even if it was a good one. The tattoo guy—Declan—was fucking brilliant. He helped me through a lot of things.”
My gaze follows Seth’s finger as he traces
his tattoo and then I see it. On his bicep is a bird…just sitting there with its wings at its sides—you can’t see it clearly, it’s made up of shapes and swirls, not concrete lines. As the tattoo progresses, there’s another bird that stretches over his shoulder and onto his chest, wings spread and full of confidence. Now that I see them, I can’t unsee them. They’re as clear as day and I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.
“When my Dad died, I had the tattoo completed.” His finger strokes the confident bird. “It might be a shit thing to say, but I think I’m a happier person because of it.”
He gives me a tight smile and drops his hands to adjust his towel.
“I can’t believe I di
dn’t notice the birds before…” I say, changing the subject. I know how Seth doesn’t like to linger on topics about his Dad for too long—not without getting pissed off, anyway.
“That’s the whole point. I know they’re there and what they mean, but to everyone else, I’m just another
douchebag with a tribal tattoo. Just the way I like it.”
I laugh, sauntering closer.
“You have a lot of hidden secrets, don’t you?”
“Experiences, yes. Secrets, no.”
His arms surround me and the crisp clean scent of his skin filters in through my nostrils. I press my tongue against the roof of my mouth to avoid licking him.
“C’m
on. Let’s help Jackson and then eat.”
***
A single, burning hot tear rolls down my cheek and I swipe it away, blinking rapidly.
Why does it hurt so damn much?
“
Stupid onions.” I sniffle, dicing the last portion.
When I’m done
, I drop the knife and dab my eyes with my tank top. I quickly scoop up the onions and drop them in with the rest of the salad before tossing it all together. I grab the bowl, a pair of tongs, and a small bottle of French dressing before strolling out the back door and onto Seth’s back porch. It’s a low and spacious concrete deck surrounded by small, sweet smelling bushes and long concrete columns. His backyard is large, filled with tiny fruit trees and huge terracotta pots. Up on the hill at the back is a big pool house with a large swimming pool to match.
Helping Jackson with his boxes took hours, but he’s almost set up
now. I came across a few boxes he refused to let me open for sake of my own ‘innocence’ which both Seth and Selena found hilarious. Of course, that led to Jackson and Seth bringing up the strip club and how I reacted when Vivian, the stripper, grinded on me and sucked my lip into her mouth. Selena protested the fact I’d never gone to a strip club with her, but I think I convinced her that I legitimately had no idea we were even going. Thankfully, nobody mentioned the incident with Don and I think all those involved appreciated it.
I look around the backyard. T
he low lying sun coats everything in a golden light that makes my stomach flutter. Sometimes, it’s the simple things that are breathtaking. Seth is truly living the life here and I feel bad that he has to leave his palace to visit me in Mom and Dad’s house. I place the salad in the middle of the table and drop into the seat across from Selena. Apparently, Seth has to sit at the head of his table, just like my dad did at ours. It feels really nice…like I’m home. Jackson ignores the salad and dives straight into his steak, making a big spectacle of it.
“Man, these steaks are killer!”
Selena frowns at him with a small smile on the corner of her lips. I haven’t really spoken to her yet. We haven’t had time alone, but looking at her this afternoon, I’d say she is one hundred percent happy with Jackson and he seems happy with her. I try to picture him pissed off and controlling, but I can’t. He’s too laid back and young to be so…difficult. The only strange thing about them is that they still claim they’re just friends when I thought they were planning on dating after Seth’s amateur tournament.
“I promise you, it’s legitimately the best thing you’ve ever eaten.”
Jackson groans, sucking his finger.
I grip my
glass of red wine and bring it to my lips, taking a sip. Seth’s chesty chuckle draws everyone’s attention and he leans back in his chair, completely relaxed as he drags an index finger across his bottom lip. His dark eyes flick to me and his mouth curls into a cocky, unapologetic smile. “I don’t know about that,” he says.
Wine
catches in my throat and I choke, spluttering like an idiot.
“Oh come on, you two!” Selena groans. “We’re eating dinner.”
Jackson laughs, throwing his head back and exposing a mouth full of food. I feel my cheeks burn. I’m glad
someone
is finding it so hilarious. Seth raises his glass of water to me before taking a mouthful and I scowl at him, but he doesn’t care. He says and does whatever he wants. There’s no censoring him…and maybe that’s why I’m so into him. He’s unpredictable—exciting. My scowl quickly melts into a grin and I bite my lip as I scoop salad onto my plate and mix it with my grilled chicken. I can’t be mad about that, I suppose. It was a compliment, a naughty compliment I’d rather he not repeat, but one nonetheless.
“Relax, Selena.” Seth laughs, sitting forward in his seat. “My words have nothing on what you and Jackson were doing
on the living room floor when we got home.”
“Maybe not, but after the shower you and Olivia took
, I’d say we’re even,” Jackson chimes in with a flick of his eyebrows.
Great. They heard it.
I sit my glass down and scoop salad into my mouth, doing anything to prevent myself from being dragged into the conversation. Selena giggles, beaming widely at me and suddenly I’m trying hard not to smile.
“What do you want me to say?” I ask her through chewed food.
“Sorry?”
She flashes me her palms, biting back a smile. “Nothing.”
After that, dinner conversation flowed from naughty to naughtier. All of them are talking about things they’ve seen in movies or strip clubs—not all of them appealing or sexy, either. Here’s an interesting fact I learned, Jackson’s favorite sex position is ‘doggy style.’ It turns out he’s really into ass slapping and hair pulling. Selena giggles the whole time, agreeing with everything he said. Seth, however, refused to state his favorite, claiming he’s easily pleased and they all work just fine. I refused to add any personal preferences to the conversation. Selena knows almost everything about me and I’m glad she didn’t spill any of my likes and dislikes over the dinner table.
When Selena and Jackson turn to each other for
a quick make out session, Seth leans closer to me. “They’ve been drinking since early this afternoon, just go with it.”
Drinking since this afternoon?
There’s the Selena I know and lov—am used to. I stab the last piece of chicken with my fork and put it into my mouth before dropping the fork back to my plate and pushing it aside. My stomach is heavy and I contemplate cutting my shorts to make more room for my food baby.
As soon as I finish,
Seth and Jackson rise from the table and gather the plates, leaving Selena and I alone. She jumps from her chair and gestures for me to follow her into the backyard. I slide from my chair and follow her. It isn’t until I follow her past the pool house, into the pool yard and she pulls a cigarette from her bra that I realize she’s come all the way out here to have a cigarette.
She lights her
cigarette and inhales deeply. She expels the smoke with a relaxed sigh and looks at me. I feel my brow arched and accusing.
“Jackson doesn’t like it when I
smoke,” she says with a small smile.
“So you hide from him?”
“I don’t hide…okay, yeah, I hide. He’s difficult to deal with and I’d rather not frustrate him.”
Am I the only who doesn’t know
who Jackson is?
“Did he almost punch your dad?” I ask out of nowhere.
She shakes her head, almost disappointedly. “Yeah…it was fucked up. He doesn’t understand how Dad is. You know how he is, he’s an asshole, he’s strict and he expects a lot from me.”
“Yeah, but you’ve never really cared what he wanted you to do or become.”
She shrugs, swaying slightly. “Maybe it’s sinking in now. I’m turning twenty-fucking-four and I still act like I’m seventeen. I want to grow up now and I think I’m ready, but I don’t know what I want. I don’t know if I want to live with Dad anymore. I want to travel. I’m not sure if I want to be with Jackson in the long run…I just don’t know.” She rattles off her sentences in a random order, but I manage to keep up. Having a conversation with Selena about growing up is something I never thought I’d share with her. Until recently, she was completely happy with her carefree life. What’s changed?
“You don’t know
if you want to be with Jackson?”
She drags an inhale through her cigarette, making the red ember at the end burn brightly. “I really like him.” She exhales. “But he isn’t a long term kind of guy
…and it’s not like I’m the only one he’s had sex with in the past few weeks.”