Too Hot to Handle: A Boys of Summer Novel (21 page)

Nikki was just finishing the final edits for a press release when Natalie walked in, juggling the mail and groceries. Her kids barreled into the room behind her, and Nikki smothered a laugh as her sister shook her head at them.

“Boys.” The one-word explanation said it all. “Aidan, Sean. Settle down. We’ve got treats coming.”

Nikki rose to help her sister unpack the groceries, and as she put the milk into the refrigerator, she was surprised to see an envelope addressed to her.

Natalie nodded, indicating the mail. “I just picked that up. Who knows you’re here? Work?”

“No.” Nikki shook her head. “My neighbor has been collecting my mail. She forwarded the few pieces that were important, bills and things like that. I don’t know what this is.”

They exchanged a glance, and when the food was all put away, Nikki opened the letter and scanned to the bottom.

It was from Jake.

She nodded when Natalie sent her a questioning look, aware her hands were trembling. Skimming through the note, she was surprised to see that Jake had elegant penmanship, as well as a way with words. He apologized for the conversation she had overheard, and explained that while things between them had started because of the bet, they were in a different place entirely now. He went on to encourage her to return to New Jersey and her job, stating that he would stay away from her if that was what she wanted.

It was all very eloquent, and while it lessened some of her pain to realize her feelings weren’t totally unrequited, somehow it wasn’t enough.

Not by a long shot.

“What does he say?” Natalie was obviously dying.

“He apologizes, says all the right things, sounds sincere.”
But he doesn’t say I love you, I need you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

“Well, that’s something,” Natalie said, fixing the boys a snack to quiet them down. “At least you know he doesn’t think it’s all just one big joke. Wonder how he got this address.”

“Probably Darcy,” Nikki mused. “I gave it to her in case she needed something. He’s asking me to come back, says he will stay away from me.”

The room grew quiet as the boys dove into the milk and cookies. “And?” Natalie asked softly.

“I don’t think so,” Nikki replied, shaking her head. “No, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Forcing a smile, she folded the note and stuck it in the pocket of her jeans. “How about you and Marcus go out for dinner tonight? I’ll stay with the pirates.” She gestured toward her nephews with genuine affection.

“Are you sure?” Natalie looked doubtfully at the boys. “They can be a handful.”

“I’ll be fine,” Nikki insisted. “Go. Wear the new dress you just bought, the white one with the gold zipper up the back. It looks amazing on you.”

Natalie gave her a warm smile. “I won’t say ‘no.’ Marcus just got back from Ohio. He could probably use a quiet night, just the two of us. I know I could.” But her eyes looked troubled. “Are you sure you don’t want to go home? Are things working out for you here? I know it can’t be the same as working from the ballpark.”

“I’ve been able to do most of it remotely. And you’re right, it’s not the same as being at the game, feeling the energy and excitement of the crowd, watching the plays up close. But for now, it’s easier.” Her eyes lifted. “I can’t imagine being there, seeing Jake every day. It would just be too hard.”

Natalie nodded. “Okay. Take all the time you need. Marcus and I love having you, and the boys are thrilled to have a fresh audience.”

“Thanks,” Nikki said sincerely, smiling at her nephews. The milk and cookies were done, and the noise resumed.

“You’re welcome?” Natalie shot her a look, and they both laughed as Aidan charged into her leg. Yet as Nikki looked around her, seeing the chaos, the spilled milk and cookie crumbs, Marcus’s newspaper and her sister’s earrings tossed casually onto the countertop, she realized this was a home. Natalie and Marcus had created a family. Something tightened in her heart as she returned to her room to reread the letter.

In spite of the beautiful handwriting and the elegant prose, the words she looked for just weren’t there. And in all honesty, she didn’t think Jake had them in him.

“Hey bro, you’re not keeping up tonight.”

Brian nudged Jake as he nursed his beer. The outfielder downed his own, then shoved the mug to the edge of the bar for a refill.

They were at a place in Princeton called the Alchemist & Barrister, seated outside on the patio. It was a perfect summer afternoon; the humidity was down, there was a gentle breeze, and a full moon appeared in the sky. A band played acoustic guitar, and Ivy League students filled the tables. Brian nodded at a group of girls who’d just ordered a couple of pitchers of beer.

“Wow, is it me or do these girls get prettier all the time? Check out that blonde.”

Jake glanced over at the table and saw the woman Brian was referring to. She was tall, with long blond hair, hoop earrings, and a Barbie tan. Dressed simply in a denim skirt and white tee shirt, she looked adorable, sweet, and innocent, with a killer bod.

“She’s cute,” Jake agreed, finishing his beer. The girls were laughing and giggling, sending little glances his way, and Jake realized they recognized him.

A few months ago, he would have been all over it. The bored college girls, off for the summer, looking for a little fun. Unlike the groupies, Ivy League women were serious about their careers, but not so much about their boyfriends. He’d spent a few enjoyable evenings in their arms talking about the latest Supreme Court ruling, or the state of the economy. Yet while they were stimulating on several levels, tonight he just didn’t have the interest or the energy.

“Are you going to go for it?” A married man, Brian lived vicariously through the single ballplayers. He eyed the woman as if she were a dish of crème brûlée.

“Nah,” Jake said, putting his glass on the bar and glancing down at his phone. There was a message, and eagerly he powered on the Droid, hoping it was from Nikki. Instead, his stomach twisted as he saw the text from his mother, requesting his help.

“Shit,” Jake swore, and got up from the table.

“Everything okay?” Brian asked, concerned by his sudden movement.

“I don’t know,” Jake said truthfully. “I’ll be right back.”

He took the phone and went to a quieter spot. Selecting his mother’s profile, he pushed the call button. The cell phone rang several times and then finally rolled into voicemail. Jake left a message, his nerves on edge.

His mother often forgot to turn up the volume on her phone, so not answering didn’t necessarily mean something was wrong. But she had left that message. So even though he was tired, hungry, and longing for another beer, he knew he was going to have to head to his mother’s house.

“Where are you going?” Brian looked at him in confusion as Jake peeled off a ten and left it on the table.

“Clementon,” he said abruptly. “My mother needs something, and I can’t get her on the phone.”

“Man, that’s a haul.” The outfielder looked at him sympatheti
cally. “Can’t you call a neighbor, or your sister or something? Seems like a long way to go.”

“No, she gets upset if I involve the neighbors. And my sister’s tied up with the kids and dinner. She’s not going to want to run out this time of day either.” Jake shook Brian’s hand. “I’ll catch up with you tomorrow.”

Brian nodded, glancing once more at the table full of girls. Their eyes followed Jake as he walked out of the tavern, their disappointment obvious.

The outfielder shook his head. Jake passing up hot sex with a coed? The times were changing, and he couldn’t say he was happy about it.

Jake traveled down Route 1, and then jumped on Route 295 south toward Camden. He tried his mother a couple more times, but there was still no response. He had even called his sister, thinking she might know what was going on, but she was just as clueless.

Worry gnawed at him, and he cranked up the radio as a distraction. It didn’t work. Even though she was only in her fifties, his mother lived in another world where women were helpless little beings and men took care of everything. His mother sometimes took foolish risks, and in the past, had paid a price for it. He thought of the time she had decided to climb up on the washing machine in order to retrieve a jug of fabric softener. She’d fallen, breaking her wrist. He remembered visiting her in the hospital, both he and his sister appalled. But his mother didn’t see anything wrong with her actions, and simply stated there was no one there to reach for her Downy.

She was lost when his father died, never having paid the bills, managed money, or taken responsibility for anything other than cooking and cleaning. His father had taken care of everything else, and in the months after he was gone, Jake and his sister had a nightmare of a time untangling the estate without any assistance from their living parent.

So she could have gotten herself into any kind of mess. The anxiety he’d felt earlier twisted in the pit of his stomach, and he could only hope she wasn’t lying on the floor somewhere, helpless and alone. They had given her one of those emergency call buttons, but she refused to wear it, let alone carry it. Vanity to her wasn’t a vice, but a virtue.

The house was dark when he pulled up into the driveway. A sense of foreboding filled him, and he hastened up the brick walkway, now enhanced with shrubbery that Joaquin had planted.

The door was, of course, unlocked. Jake walked in, shaking his head, and glanced into the living room. He expelled the breath he’d been holding and stared at his mother sleeping peacefully in an armchair, the television volume turned down low. There was a smell of whiskey in the room, and an empty tumbler on the table beside her.

“Mom?” Jake gently shook her awake.

His mother’s eyes flickered open and she stared in confusion at her son. “Jake? What are you doing here?”

“You sent me a message,” Jake said slowly, wondering if she was experiencing early dementia. “You said you needed help.”

“Oh, that,” she laughed, waving her hand in the air. “I was just thinking of planting a peach tree. I was going to see if you could bring Joaquin over earlier this week. I could have it delivered, and he could plant it before it got too hot.”

Jake gazed at her in astonishment. “That’s why you called me? To plant a tree?”

From her expression, he could tell it hadn’t occurred to her that she’d scared the life out of him, nor that he had driven over an hour to get to her.

“Yes,” she said, laughing as if he were the one who was ridiculous. “I didn’t mean for you to run down here, tonight! Don’t you have a game tomorrow?”

“I do,” Jake said shortly, his anxiety changing quickly to irritation. “And now I have an hour’s ride back home. Listen, next time you need something, would you mind leaving me a voicemail with the details so that I know you aren’t hurt or something?”

“Oh sure, if that will make you feel better. I just don’t like to bother you. Do you want a piece of cake before you go? And I could use some help getting a few boxes out of the attic if you have some time.”

She was oblivious. Jake’s anger left him as he realized she didn’t intend to upset him, but then again, she never did. She just didn’t think, confident that someone else would sort it all out.

And the funny part was, she was right.

As he drove back home, after declining the cake and taking care of the boxes, he realized the knot in his stomach had been there for fifteen years, since his father died. He had been a little older than Joaquin when an immense responsibility fell on his shoulders. Yet he was just a kid, and shouldn’t have been worried about anything other than going to school and playing with his friends. He didn’t see it at the time, but he did now, and suddenly understood why he avoided relationships like the plague. He had been afraid of being saddled once again with more than he could handle when he already had way too much on his plate.

It was all crystal clear to him now. The fear of being asked for more. The dread of dependency. Yet Nikki was anything but weak or helpless. He was reacting to something she had nothing to do with, and the thought was startling. He wasn’t sure if just connecting the dots changed things, but at least now he understood.

Heading toward Lindenwold, he decided to take a detour instead of driving straight home. Maybe he would stop by and see how Joaquin and his mother were doing, and to ensure that they’d gotten new locks. As he pulled up to the dilapidated condo, he noticed the lights were off and the place looked suspiciously empty.

Jake got out of the car, aware of the eyes following him as he made his way to the door. Evening was falling, but it was still bright enough that perhaps they hadn’t turned the lights on yet. Knocking for several minutes, he waited but heard nothing inside the house. He tried turning the handle and found it firmly locked.

Where the hell were they? A group of Hispanic women sat on the next doorstep, fanning themselves in the heat. Fully aware that they were watching him curiously, Jake gave them a smile.

“Know where Joaquin and Juanita are?”

The women looked at each other as if unsure whether or not to answer, and then one of them spoke up bravely.