She had always known she was different and had reluctantly accepted that fact about herself. But after years of snide remarks and barbed comments from both men and women, she was getting tired of her uniqueness. She was beginning to long to fit in. Yet after getting an honorable discharge from the air force and her divorce papers from Jack, she had again chosen an occupation that was different. God, am I a glutton for punishment? she wondered in anguish. Was Jack right? Is there something psychologically wrong with me?
Leah’s feeling of depression continued after the chief brusquely dismissed them. The bay, engines, and bunk room had passed inspection, and now the fire fighters were allowed to go home and rest for two days before taking on another twenty-fours of grueling duty. She drove home slowly, still immersed in her thoughts. Isn’t there someone in this world who will accept me as I am? she wondered miserably. Why couldn’t I have been like everyone else? Be a sheep and be accepted. She smiled grimly. “Be unique and be an outcast,” she muttered aloud.
* * *
She didn’t know how long she had slept, but a persistent knock at the apartment door dragged her to a state of semiwakefulness. Her head ached abominably as she sat up, groping to throw the covers off her. What time was it? It was dark as she stumbled through the bedroom. After managing to pull her maroon robe over her shoulders, Leah fumbled with the sash at the waist.
“Just a minute….” she called. God, her nose hurt and the pain in her brow was increasing. Holding one hand against her forehead, Leah leaned down and turned on a small table lamp in the living room. Finally she got to the door and opened it. Gil Gerard stood there in a navy blue polo shirt and a pair of well-worn jeans. Her eyes widened and her heart began to beat erratically as she stared up at him.
Seconds fled by, but it seemed like minutes. Her first thought was that she must look disheveled, with her dark walnut-colored hair cascading over her shoulders. The pain in her brow intensified, bringing tears to her eyes.
“I just stopped by to see how you were,” Gil said by way of explanation. “I called three different times and you didn’t answer the phone. I got worried.”
Touching her temple in a nervous gesture, she turned and motioned him to come in. “I’m sorry,” she said, her voice husky with sleep. “I’ve got to sit down….”
Leah was aware of the door closing as she sat, her head in the hollow of her hands. Her heart beat heavily in her breast. The concern in Gil’s voice was genuine and she didn’t know how to respond to it. How long had it been since a man cared about her on a personal level? Too long, a voice cried deep within her. She felt his hand on her shoulder as he knelt at her side.
“You look like you’re in a lot of pain,” he said, studying her with renewed intensity.
His fingers were warm as they rested upon the thin material covering her shoulder. Instinctively, Leah responded to his gentleness. “I’ve got an awful headache.”
“How long since you had some aspirin?”
She shrugged. “I don’t remember. As soon as I got home I went to bed.” Looking up, she felt her heart contract with new emotions. Gil was only inches away. His knee rested comfortably against her thigh, sending a pleasurable shock through her body. His eyes were hooded and unreadable. “What time is it, anyway?” she asked.
“Eight p.m. You’ve slept a long time,” he observed. He reached out with his right hand and carefully brushed several strands of hair from her brow. “Here, let me take a look at that nose,” he commanded, slipping his hand beneath her chin.
His touch was electrifying and she inhaled sharply. His fingers were strong and yet, at the same moment, tender. Idiotically, Leah wondered what it would be like to be loved by Gil. That thought created even more havoc in her responsive body. She watched as his mouth thinned.
“Let me get you a warm cloth to put across the bridge,” he said. “Maybe it will take down some of the swelling. Stay here. I’ll get the aspirin,” he ordered.
“But—” she began lamely as he rose to his full height.
“No arguments,” he said, looking down at her. “And I don’t care if you’re not used to being taken care of.”
Gratefully, she fell back against the couch, her mind wandering aimlessly while she waited for him. A minute later Gil came back with two aspirin and a glass of water. After she took them he settled down beside her, carefully placing the warm cloth against her nose and cheeks.
“Thanks,” she offered, feeling almost immediate relief with the application of heat.
He grinned for the first time. “My pleasure.”
“I haven’t unpacked everything yet, but there’s a coffeepot in the kitchen.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Feel like a cup of coffee?”
“No…but I thought you might. I just feel too lousy to get up and make it for you,” she returned wryly.
Placing his hand on her shoulder, he said, “It’s about time you started taking care of yourself first instead of last.”
Leah gave him a confused look. Just his touch sent her mind reeling. His maleness was evident in the way he walked, the magnificent shape of his body, and the deep timbre of his voice. She trembled, finding herself shy in his presence. “I don’t know what you mean.”
Gil felt the tension in her shoulder muscles and began to gently massage the area. The softness of the material made it easy to move his hand in small circles on her shoulders and upper back. At first she stiffened against his ministrations. “Take it easy,” he coaxed. “You’re tight as a drum. Don’t you ever relax?” he asked, a smile softening his words.
She gave him a confused look. “I—sure I do…but—”
He laughed ruefully. “Here, turn around with your back toward me. Let’s work out some of those kinks. Your neck is so stiff that it’s probably contributing to your headache.”
Leah hesitated, searching his guileless features. Was he playing a game? And why? Her mind was balking but her heart cried out for his continued touch. “Well—”
“Stubborn lady,” he growled, moving her so he could work on her. Gently, he forced the muscles in her back to relax beneath his coaxing hands. He bore down, monitoring the amount of pressure as his fingers slid across her shoulders. Leah tried to remain tense, but it was impossible. He was working magic on her taut body and a sigh escaped from her lips.
“That feels so good,” she murmured, arching against his hands.
“You’re like a cat getting stroked,” he said softly. “You really are in good shape.” He traced the curve of her spine with both thumbs. “You have a beautiful back,” he murmured.
Leah dissolved against him. Miraculously, her headache disappeared and she placed the cloth on her lap, arching shamelessly into his kneading hands. It was magic, she thought blissfully. He was magic! Without meaning to, she gave herself totally to his masterful hands.
“That’s better,” he murmured huskily.
Ten minutes beneath his hands erased her distrustful thoughts. Gil eased her down on the couch, then went into the bathroom and warmed up the cloth again. After fifteen more minutes, the swelling was reduced and the pain in her nose had almost disappeared. He sat beside her, his arm draped casually behind her head, a pleased expression on his face. “Better?” he inquired.
Even the tone of his voice was balm to her senses. “Much. I owe you one, Gil. Thanks.”
Deviltry danced in his eyes. “Don’t worry, lady, I intend to collect,” he murmured. “Do you feel up to eating something before you hit the sack again?”
Her stomach was growling rather loudly and she placed her hand self-consciously over that part of her body. “I guess I am.”
He roused himself. “Got any food in the refrigerator yet?”
“Yes, but I think all I could eat right now is a salad.”
“Sounds good. Why don’t you stretch out on the couch and rest while I make us dinner.”
Leah didn’t refuse his offer. “Sounds good,” she agreed tiredly. Stretched out on the couch, she soon fell into a light sleep while Gil rummaged around in the kitchen.
Half an hour later, Gil ambled into the living room, wiping his hands on a towel. He halted a few feet from where Leah lay sleeping. Her face was relaxed and devoid of that usual defensive mask she wore like armor. He allowed his hands to drop to his sides as he approached the couch. There was a vulnerability in her sleeping features that he hadn’t seen before. He sat down on the edge of the couch, his body brushing against hers, and lightly caressed her flushed cheek. Her flesh was smooth and warm beneath his hand. She was beautiful despite her injury. Leaning over, he caressed her parted lips with his mouth. Her lips were like lovely flower petals to be explored, tasted, and outlined. Gil felt her respond, felt her lips return the pressure of his mouth.
As she awoke, Leah was excruciatingly aware of his maleness, of the muscular hardness of his thigh against her hip. His mouth worshiped her lips. Warmth uncurled quickly from the center of her body as the pressure of his mouth increased against her parted lips. The natural male scent of his body and the tantalizing taste of his mouth combined to make her giddy with excitement.
A soft moan rose in her throat as he deepened the kiss, his tongue invading the depths of her, stroking each hollow with masterful insistence. She melted beneath him, her arms automatically sliding across his broad, powerful shoulders. Consumed by the molten heat of his kiss, Leah reveled in the primitive desires he had released within her.
Finally, he raised his head, his face inches from her own. His eyes were a dark blue, silvered with barely contained passion. Her breath was coming fast and shallow as she stared wide-eyed up into his face. Her heart thundered in her ears and she was aware that her breasts were taut beneath the lush fabric of her robe. An ache was beginning in her lower body and she yearned to continue the magical interlude. Never had she been awakened from sleep by such a kiss. Never had a man aroused her so strongly.
Gil broke the silence, his face thoughtful and composed in the semidarkness. “I didn’t mean to do that,” he murmured, his voice husky with desire. “You looked so damn beautiful sleeping there…your lips…” He took a steadying breath. “You’re one hell of a woman. And if you weren’t injured I wouldn’t have stopped with just a kiss.”
Her heart thrilled to his admission. “It was a lovely way to wake up,” she admitted, her voice barely audible.
Gil gave her a sheepish smile and straightened up. “Feel like walking to the kitchen or would you like me to bring dinner to you?”
“No, I’ll get up.” Just the firm grip of his fingers on her arm sent a quiver through her. How could he make her feel both vulnerable and feminine at the same time? How long had it been since she’d felt like a woman in a man’s arms? Too long, a voice whispered. Too long. Gil seated her, bringing over a large bowl of salad.
“That’s enough for a horse!” she protested, laughing.
He grinned boyishly. “Lady, you need some meat on those bones. You’re too damn skinny. Go on, eat all of it,” he instructed.
Leah felt her face growing warm beneath his gaze. “What do you think I am, a rabbit?” she teased, picking up her fork.
Gil sat down opposite her with an even larger salad than the one he had fixed for her. Pouring a liberal dose of creamy Italian dressing on it, he smiled. “You’re hardly a rabbit. A good-looking woman with one hell of a body, but definitely not a rabbit.” A wicked gleam came to his eyes as he caught her startled gaze. “I’d say you were more like a lioness. I liked the way you purred earlier when I was massaging you. We ought to do that again sometime.”
Caught off guard by his easy banter, Leah didn’t know what to say. Instead, she picked at her salad.
Later, over coffee in the living room, Gil chose to sit on a chair opposite the couch, where Leah was sitting. He sensed that she was still shaken by their kiss and he cursed himself for moving too quickly with her. From the moment he’d met her in the office, Leah Stevenson had affected him strongly. Without appearing hurried, he finished off his coffee.
“Well,” he noted, satisfaction in his voice, “you look like you’ll live now. I’ve got to drop in at the volunteer fire department, so I’ll get going.” He rose, giving her a warm smile.
“Thanks for coming over, Gil. No, I mean it. Don’t give me that look.”
His blue eyes sparkled with mirth. “I want you to know I don’t normally go around kissing ladies after knowing them only a day.”
“At least I didn’t turn into a frog,” she teased, getting to her feet.
Gil laughed deeply as he placed his cup and saucer on the draining board. “I may not be a prince, but lady, you sure as hell are a princess. A very brave, courageous one at that.” He walked over, his face revealing his happiness. “How about if I pick you up about ten tomorrow morning and we’ll get you a pair of boots that fit?”
Leah breathed deeply. She could smell his natural body scent and it was like inhaling some long-lost perfume. “Yes,” she murmured, “that would be fine.” Automatically she reached out and put her hand on his arm. “And more important, Gil, thanks for coming over to check up on me. I never expected that—”
He leaned over and placed a kiss on her hair. “Strictly a selfish gesture on my part,” he said. His eyes became more serious as he studied her upturned face. “Now, if you have any problems, I’ve left my phone number on the telephone stand for you. Call if you need me. Okay?”
She dropped her gaze, shaking her head. “Do you know how long it’s been since someone genuinely cared whether I lived or died?” she asked softly. “I don’t mean to sound like I’m complaining or can’t take the pressure of my job.” Her eyes were dark and glistening with unshed tears as she met his concerned gaze. “You’ve earned my respect, Gil.”
He ran his fingers lightly along her cheek. “I intend to earn more than that. Get some sleep,” he urged huskily. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Three
A
simmering excitement coursed through Leah as she hesitated in front of the closet. Morning had come quickly and she fingered the recently unpacked clothes, wondering what to wear. The feminine side of herself wanted to wear a dress. But who went to buy fire boots in a dress? She reluctantly settled on a lavender blouse edged with small ruffles around the throat, and a pair of white slacks. After slipping into her sandals, she went to the bedroom mirror and released her hair so that it flowed across her shoulders.