Topping the Alpha: Trident Security Series (22 page)

Nervous, but wanting to please his Master, the man he was falling in love with, Jake had consented. The scene had been planned out in advance, so the only thing that’d had his knees shaking was the fact that dozens of people would be watching them.

“Don’t worry, babe. They’ll love you. No one will ridicule you here for enjoying kink. I’ll have you in subspace in no time.”

Jake calmed as Master Max ran a hand up and down his back. He could do this…it wasn’t something they hadn’t previously done. “Yes, Sir.”

“That’s my boy.” Max grabbed the front of his shirt and brought their lips together in a sweet, yet commanding kiss. “You don’t know how much your consent pleases me.”

Smiling, Max led his submissive into the club. While it looked like a triple X video and fetish store in a seedier section of Tampa, the basement had been transformed into a dungeon where gays and straights could indulge in their individual kinks. As they entered a door marked private at the back of the store and descended the stairs, Jake’s heart-beat sped up. The smells and sounds from below made him hard instantly, and he groaned inwardly, knowing he wasn’t allowed to touch his cock now that they were playing—not even to adjust himself. Max owned it during play, and any contact Jake’s hand made with it would result in punishment. And there was no way he wanted that tonight, because Max’s punishments usually resulted in a serious case of blue balls.

When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Jake took a deep breath and lowered his gaze to the floor, respecting the submissive rules of the club. From somewhere across the room, a loud crack of a flogger sounded and a woman cried out, then begged for more. Flesh slapped against flesh in another area, while the roar of a man cumming filled the air.

“Take off all your clothes, boy, but for now you can keep your briefs on. I’m not quite ready to share that particular beauty with the others yet. Let them dream of what it looks like for a bit. Tease them.”

Jake did as he was ordered and was soon standing with only one scrap of navy blue cotton preventing him from being completely nude. He knew the only reason he’d been allowed to keep them on was Max was aware of his nervousness and inexperience with the lifestyle. He was easing his sub into the scene. A Domme dressed all in black sidled up to Jake, but purred at Max. “Are you sure he doesn’t like pussy, Master Max? Because that huge package is something I would love to impale myself on…over and over again.”

While the Mistress was standing within inches of him, she didn’t touch Jake at all. Not without Max’s permission. And since his Master didn’t share, it wasn’t going to happen. “He is damn fine, isn’t he?”

It had been weird at first, how some the Doms and Dommes talked about their subs as if they were pets and couldn’t answer for themselves, but Jake had learned to accept it. He followed Max around the room as his Master spoke to several other Doms, remembering to keep his eyes averted. Max had told him that every club and Dom had their own protocols, but it was best if a sub avoided eye-contact with a Dom unless being spoken to.

It wasn’t long before Jake’s accelerated breathing and heart-rate weren’t from nervousness, but instead, anticipation. And his Master recognized the fact. He led his submissive to an area he’d reserved for their scene. A St. Andrew’s cross stood in the corner and it was what Jake was going to be shackled to. They had done a similar scene the weekend before, but it had been in the privacy of Max’s apartment.

Stepping up to the cross, Jake waited for his Master’s command.

“Strip, my sub. Let me show everyone here how beautiful you are.”

He swallowed hard then dropped his briefs, not daring to look at anyone’s reactions. He wasn’t ashamed of his body…quite the opposite. Playing sports all year round had made him lean and sinewy. The girls at school were always coming on to him—of course, they didn’t know he was gay. None of his friends or family did. Hell, he hadn’t even admitted it to himself until he’d lost his virginity to Vanessa Thatcher when he was fifteen. While he’d cum, since she’d been warm, wet, and willing, in the aftermath he’d felt unfulfilled and the whole act had been forced on his part. It was then that he started examining his attraction to guys instead of girls.

Master Max caressed his back and shoulders. “Are you ready, boy?”

“Yes, Sir.”

Two hours later, just after midnight, Jake walked into his house after noticing his father’s truck was gone, which wasn’t too unusual. The man owned a bar/restaurant and probably had to run out to help his staff with something. Still feeling buzzed about the earlier scene with Max, Jake grabbed a snack and then turned on the TV in the living room to catch the sports highlights like he normally did.

Unfortunately, what happened after that had been far from normal.

“Code Blue, ICU. Code Blue, ICU.”

The overhead alert for a person not breathing interrupted Jake’s account of what occurred all those years ago as Nick listened from his private hospital room’s bed. After Jake had left Max and Ray’s apartment, he’d come straight here, even though it was long after visiting hours were over. The expression on Nick’s face when he’d awakened, earlier, and saw him sitting next to the bed had been a combination of hurt and relief. Jake was hoping to expel the former by opening his heart at long last and spilling his guts about the past that’d haunted him for years.

“So what happened next?” Nick’s voice was dry and raspy, so Jake poured a cup of water from the pitcher on the bedside table and handed it to him.

After making sure Nick was okay, he leaned back in his chair. “I got a call from Max’s neighbor who I’d met a few times. He said Max had gotten mugged outside his apartment complex and beaten within an inch of his life. I rushed to the hospital, but wasn’t allowed in to see him because I wasn’t family. The cops were still there and I couldn’t risk answering questions about who I was, so I went home.” His voice caught in his throat and his eyes watered.
Damn, he never cried like this.

Gingerly reaching over, Nick took his hand, squeezing it in support and understanding. “That’s the night you got the scars, isn’t it? Your dad found out and beat the crap out of Max, then turned his anger and homophobia on you.”

Nodding, Jake used his other hand to wipe a single tear which had spilled over onto his cheek. “Yeah. He was waiting for me when I got home. Beat me with his belt, telling me no son of his was going to be a faggot…and a lot of other shit I don’t need to repeat. I couldn’t go to school, much less move, for about two weeks after that. Mom called me in sick and nursed me back to health. The bastard wouldn’t even let her take me to the doctor.”

Nick’s thumb rubbed over the back of Jake’s hand. “What about Max? I take it he didn’t tell the police it was your father, or didn’t he know who it was?”

Shaking his head, Jake let out a deep breath. “No, he knew. My father made sure Max knew why he was getting beaten. He never told anyone, though, because he knew it meant outing me and he refused to do that. Even when he was told he would never see again.”

“Shit. He lost his sight completely?”

“Yeah. And all this time I thought he blamed me. I mean, I blamed me, why shouldn’t he?”

Tugging on his hand, Nick waited until their gazes met and he had Jake’s full attention. “He didn’t blame you because it wasn’t your fucking fault, Jake. You had no control over what your father did or believed. Just like you had no control over me getting shot. You’re not God. So fucking get over it, or you’re never going to be happy.”

Jake snorted in wry amusement. “Yeah, that’s pretty much what Max said to me tonight. Anyway, that’s my story…by the time I recovered, Max had been transferred to a hospital closer to his family. He moved back here about nine years ago. And I told my bastard of a father he could take his homophobia and shove it, along with my football scholarship to Rutgers. Two hours after I graduated high school, I enlisted in the Navy, and the only reason I ever came back to Tampa was because of my mom and brother.”

Silence filled the room for a few minutes, but it was a comfortable one. Jake had cleansed not only his heart and mind, but his soul as well. For the first time since before that fateful night, he felt he might have a bright, happy future ahead of him. A sappy grin spread across his face.

“What’s that look for?”

He chuckled. “I think this is what your future sister-in-law was talking about when she drew that picture of me.” At Nick’s confused expression, he explained, “Angie said I always had this sad look to me when I thought no one was watching or something like that. And she wanted to draw me again someday when I met the love of my life and was truly happy.”

“The love of your life?”

Jake stood and placed a hand on either side of Nick’s head, bending over so they were only inches apart, staring into each other’s eyes. “Yeah, Nick. The love of my life. You. That is, if I haven’t screwed up and pushed you away one too many times. Please, forgive me.”

Reaching up, Nick cupped Jake’s cheek and the Dom leaned into the gentle touch, his gut clenching, waiting for the words that he hadn’t lost this wonderful man. “I’ll forgive you on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“If you kiss me…Sir.”

Hell, yeah
. Jake closed the distance and brushed Nick’s lips with his own. Gentle at first, then more insistent. His tongue probed and without hesitation Nick’s lips parted, allowing him entry. Sighing with pleasure, he tasted and teased until there was the sound of a throat clearing behind him. Jake pulled slowly away. If whoever it was had a problem with what they just saw, well then, it was just that…their problem. Turning, he smiled at a tall, auburn-haired, female nurse who was grinning as well.

“Sorry to interrupt. But I need to take Nick’s vitals.” She pointed at her patient. “And stop blushing. My brother and his husband have been together for years. This doesn’t bother me at all. In fact, I think it’s awesome your boyfriend got off his duff and came back to apologize for whatever he did. I was tired of you moping.” She turned her finger toward Jake. “And you. I take my patient’s recovery seriously, so no more being a shmuck.”

Both men laughed as she wrapped the blood pressure cuff around Nick’s upper arm. “Don’t worry, Brenda. I’ll make sure Jake doesn’t act like a shmuck anymore.”

A few minutes later, after Brenda left, Jake settled back into his chair. Nick turned on his uninjured side and studied his lover’s face. “So, how the hell did you go from getting beaten with a belt, to the point it left those scars, to becoming a Whip Master and even getting whipped yourself?

Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair, wincing when a finger got caught in a knot. “Need a frigging haircut,” he mumbled.

“I like it long. Now, answer my question.”

“After I finished basic training, I got stationed in Pearl Harbor for a year and a half. It wasn’t long before I found a club where I could channel my anger for my father into something that wouldn’t destroy me. I wasn’t ready for anything beyond a D/s relationship and I was still feeling my way into the lifestyle, so, believe it or not, I ended up with a Domme. And she introduced me to all the things I hadn’t discovered yet.”

Nick raised an eyebrow. “A Domme? Seriously?”

“Yeah, ass-hat. But that’s all it was—a D/s relationship with no intercourse, although she did get me off in other ways when I needed it. Mistress Lani was bi and in a longtime relationship with her female submissive, but she willingly took me on to teach me how to be a Dom. However, I first had to finish learning how to be a submissive. Lani was a bit of a sadist and she’s the one who trained me on the bullwhip. In the beginning, she used it as a tool to help me get past the beating my father had given me. With my safe-word and trust in her, I knew I had control over the scene and could stop anytime.”

“Something you didn’t have the night he beat you.”

Jake nodded his agreement. “Exactly. And that’s why every once in a while I have China or Carl scene with me. To remind me, no matter what, I’m the one in control.”

“Another fuck-you to your father,
huh
?” Nick shifted to his back again, trying to get comfortable.

“Yeah. You know, the funny thing is, I never knew how he found out back then. Not that it matters, but I was always curious.”

“He found out because of me.”

Surprised, Jake’s gaze flashed toward the open doorway at the sound of his brother’s voice. “Mike? What are you doing here? What do you mean because of you?”

Mike Donovan shut the door behind him and leaned against it. The sadness in his expression spoke volumes. “I’m here because Max called me.”

“What? He called you? Why?” Jake’s head was spinning. “How the hell do you even know him?”

“I didn’t before tonight. Apparently he knew who I was and where to find me. He called the bar after you left. Said you were on your way here and he was concerned about you.” Gesturing to the other chair in the room, he asked Nick, “Mind if I sit down?”

Nick’s eye’s narrowed. “Go ahead. But first, how long were you outside listening?”

“Since the nurse left.” Taking the seat, the older man’s face was etched with a combination of regret and pain as he prepared to unburden his soul. “Guess I should start at the beginning. I saw you that night, Jake, with Max, outside that video store. And I saw him kiss you. I’d dropped off a date and was cutting through that area to get home. Sitting at a red light, I was just looking around and happened to spot you. Pure coincidence.” He ran a hand down his face. “I was shocked at first. And then…I did the stupidest and most selfish thing of my life. I told Dad what I saw…where you were.”

Jake’s voice fractured in disbelief. “You what? Why? Why would you do that, knowing what a bigot the man was?”

“I was jealous. Of you.” Unable to meet his brother’s stare, Mike kept his gaze on the foot of the hospital bed. “Here I was, the older brother, trying to do everything I could to gain our father’s approval, and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t measure up to the golden boy of the family. I was like Dad—mediocre in sports and school—and there you were, captain of the football team, straight-A student, and going to Rutgers with a full football scholarship. And where was I going…to the local community college. Dad had a fucking shrine to you at the bar, with all your damn trophies and framed articles from the newspapers. And for one fucking night, I knew something that would knock you down a few pegs in his eyes. I didn’t think he’d…well, I didn’t fucking think, period. The moment the words were out of my mouth, I knew I’d made a mistake. But it was too late. First, he called me a liar, and then the next thing I knew, he was grabbing his car keys. He must have waited for you guys to come back out and then followed Max home.” He paused and then the big man’s eyes filled with tears he didn’t bother wiping away. “I’m so fucking sorry, Jake. And to top it all off, I hid in my room like a fucking coward while he beat you. I turned that bastard on you like a rabid dog, and I couldn’t even find the courage to fix what I had done. I’m so fucking sorry.”

Jake was stunned and waited for the anger to come, for the urge to beat the hell out of his own brother…but instead of anger, there was just sadness. “The bastard beat you emotionally as bad as he did me physically. Why didn’t I ever see that before? The son of a bitch. He better be rotting in hell.” Standing, he pulled his brother up into his arms and held him tight. “It’s all right, Mike.”

“No, it’s not. I ruined your life.”

Pulling back, Jake grabbed Mike’s face and forced him to look into his eyes. “No, you didn’t. The bastard did. And if you think about it, it would have happened sooner or later. Whether he found out then or later on, the results still would have been similar. But in a way, things worked out better for me. I went into the Navy, became a SEAL, have a bunch of guys who are my brothers as much as you are, and I fell in love with this idiot laying in the bed behind me. I should be thanking you, Mike, because despite what happened back then, I’m pretty damn happy with my life. Only, I’m just starting to realize it now.”

The tension saturating the air eased, and the three of them talked for close to an hour before Nick’s eyelids drooped and he fell asleep. Feeling better than he had in years, Jake walked out of the hospital with Mike. A nearly full moon hung in the sky, providing more illumination than the parking lot lights. Mike’s vehicle was parked two spaces down from Jake’s, and before he veered off, Jake pulled his brother into a hug. “I love you, bro. Never, ever think I don’t. One thing I’ve ultimately learned is to leave the past where it belongs. I’m burying my ghosts and you need to do the same.”

“I know. And I love you, too. See you tomorrow? Stop by the bar and I’ll give you some lunch to bring to Nick. Hospital food sucks.”

He slapped Mike on the back. “Definitely. He’ll love you for it.”

Climbing into his truck, Jake started the engine, his heart, mind, and soul in unison for the first time in his adult life. Well, it was about fucking time.