“
I’m sorry. How about a
glass of wine and a movie?”
“
That sounds
wonderful.”
Katie sipped her wine while Branson
found a movie and slipped it into the player. He pulled her legs
into his lap and rubbed her calves. “Oh that feels so good.”
Halfway through the movie she was sound asleep.
“
C’mon, babe, time for
bed.” Branson carried her back to the bedroom, pulled back the
covers, and gently slid her in.
“
Thank you,” Katie mumbled
groggily. “So tired.”
Branson shut the bedroom
door behind him, so the sound of the television wouldn’t wake her.
She had been so tired the last few weeks, he began to worry.
Maybe she needs to cut back to part time. She
doesn’t need to work, I don’t know why she feels like she has to. I
know she loves it, but it’s wearing her out. It’s probably the
cause of her nightmares, too.
Branson
stopped the movie, since he was having trouble focusing and started
flipping through the channels. He thought about how little Katie
had been eating and wondered if that was the reason for her
exhaustion. He would insist on her being seen by a doctor in the
morning, just in case. His reverie was broken by Katie’s
screams.
“
Katie! Wake up, honey.”
He gently shook her shoulders until she opened her eyes. A look of
panic washed over her face. Or was it pain? “It’s all right, my
love. It was just a dream.”
Katie tried to speak, but her throat
was dry. After clearing it, she tried again. “I was a little girl,
holding onto the front porch post. Someone with dark glasses
grabbed me and put me into a long black car. The dream shifted and
I was back on the porch—suddenly chasing the black car down the
street. I was screaming for my baby—our son. It was terrible,
Branson.” Katie buried her head into his chest and
cried.
“
It was just a dream,
babe.” He held her tightly while stroking her hair.
Katie suddenly pulled away and
grimaced. A sharp pain shot through her abdomen, causing her to
double over and groan. She felt a gush of warm liquid between her
legs and ran to the bathroom. Branson was right behind her, but she
shut and locked the door to keep him out.
“
What is it? Are you
okay?” He could hear that she was in pain. “Katie! Talk to
me!”
It took her a moment before she had
the strength to speak. “I don’t know what’s happening. I guess I’ve
started my period, but it hurts . . .” She cried out. “Really
bad!”
“
Has it ever hurt like
that before?”
“
No.”
“
Unlock the
door.”
“
I can’t reach it. Just
leave me for a minute. Maybe it will stop in a—” She groaned in
pain again. “Ow!”
Branson found the key above the
bedroom door and worked the bathroom lock. He found Katie on the
floor, all the color drained from her face and skin. Her nightgown
was soaked in blood. After calling an ambulance, he changed her
clothes, and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders, rocking her
gently in his arms. “It’s going to be all right,” he repeated
mechanically until the sound of sirens broke his trance.
Fourteen
Katie lay on her side, hugging the
thin sheet that covered her as she waited for the doctor to come
in. Branson sat on the edge of the stretcher, held her hand, and
methodically stroked his thumb across the back of her
knuckles.
“
Miss Harrington, I’m Dr.
Elson.” The blonde smiled tenderly as she walked into the
room.
Katie braced herself for
the worst.
It’s cancer—I’m going to
die.
“
I’m sorry, but you’ve had
a miscarriage.”
Katie sat up in alarm. “But I’m not
pregnant.”
Dr. Elson moved closer to Katie’s bed
and rested her hand on Katie’s. “The blood test confirmed that you
were pregnant, and the ultrasound shows that your uterus is clear,
so a D & C won’t be necessary. I am so very sorry.” She turned
to address Branson. “Here are the discharge papers. If she develops
a fever, please, bring her back. You can give her Ibuprofen for
pain, but no Aspirin. You’re free to go when you’re
ready.”
Katie was in shock.
How could I have been pregnant? We always use
birth control. Except for the one time, but . . .
She was suddenly hit with an overwhelming
emotional pain.
I was pregnant? I lost our
baby?
All it took was one look at Branson
to bring the all-consuming, body-shaking sobs.
Branson was by her side in an instant,
holding her to his chest. “It’s okay.”
“
I . . . lost our . . .
baby.” She sucked in small, tight breaths.
“
Shh, I’ve got you.” He
held her in his arms and let her release the pain of their loss
until she was too exhausted to cry any more. When he thought she
was okay, he slipped out to ask the doctor some
questions.
“
Excuse me,” Branson said
as he approached Dr. Elson in the hallway. “Could this be the
reason she’s been so tired and weak? She hasn’t been eating or
sleeping well, and . . . will we be able to get pregnant
again?”
“
Yes to all of the above.
She’ll need to rest and heal, and she may go through a grieving
process, even though this wasn’t a planned pregnancy.”
***
Light suddenly flooded the room
burning Katie’s puffy, sore eyes. “Agh! Shut the
curtains.”
“
No. You’ve been in here
for three days. It’s time to get up.” Branson proceeded to pull
back all of the curtains in the room before sitting on the side of
the bed and holding out a glass of orange juice. “Drink it,” he
commanded.
Katie took the cup and slowly took a
sip before passing it back.
“
Oh no you don’t. Drink
every drop.” He felt a little more like a father than a fiancé at
the moment, but nothing else had worked. He had allowed her to cry
and starve herself long enough, and now he wanted her
back.
Katie reluctantly took the cup, drank
all of the juice and gave it back to him. “Satisfied?” she said
sulkily.
“
Now then, I’ve got a bath
ready for you—let’s go.”
Katie slipped into the warm bath,
allowing the silky water to soothe her stiff muscles. Her hair was
tangled and unkempt against her head. Branson gently soaped her
shoulders and arms before washing and conditioning her hair. As the
soap trickled down her arms, rinsing away the grime of three days
in bed, it also took with it the heavy feeling of sorrow. Slowly,
Katie came back to life. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“
My pleasure.” Branson
held a fluffy white towel for her to step into and wrapped her up
in his arms. “I know you’re going to be sad for a while—I am too.
But I need you to be all right. I miss you. Let’s get through this
together.”
Katie nodded her head. “I’m okay, I
just didn’t realize . . . how can you love something so much, when
you didn’t even know it existed in the first place?” She dried
herself off and slipped on a robe.
Branson knew exactly what she meant,
but he needed to be strong for her. “Let’s get out of here and go
see a movie.”
“
Okay.” Katie blew her
hair dry and tied it back into a low ponytail, slipping into her
favorite jeans.
Midway through the movie, Katie began
to relax and feel human again. Branson had chosen a romantic
comedy, and she was surprised the first time laughter erupted from
her. After that, she sipped on her soda and indulged in the healing
laughter often. She noticed Branson watching her every now and
then, and wondered how he was doing. They hadn’t talked after that
night in the emergency room. She had retreated emotionally and
physically from him and the rest of the world for the past three
days. She reached over and rested her hand on his leg, giving him a
reassuring smile when he looked at her. With that look, they both
said all that was needed without uttering a word. Everything was
going to be fine.
After the movie, they
drove toward Millstone restaurant. A red Toyota Camry cut in front
of them causing Branson to slam on the breaks. Katie
thought,
Jerk! If I’d been driving, I
would have rammed you right into that eighteen wheeler!
She was horrified at her sudden rage.
Where did that come from?
Branson ordered a steak
with a coffee-marsala reduction and insisted Katie order her
favorite, the lobster.
I’ll order whatever
I please. Maybe I’m in the mood for red meat tonight.
Again she was surprised. She smiled sweetly.
“That sounds wonderful.”
What’s wrong with
me?
***
Planning the wedding lifted Katie’s
spirits. Spending time with Gram and Maggie over flowers, cake, and
dresses took her mind off the sorrow that grabbed at her chest
every now and then. She was reminded of an old saying about
choosing which emotion to feed. She could either focus on her loss,
or focus on her future. Spending the day at the bridal shop with
Gram and Maggie would be much better if she chose to focus on
future.
Katie tried on several dresses before
finding ‘the one’. It was beautiful, romantic, and classic. Made
from raw silk, the strapless beaded bodice hugged her curves until
it swept into a full ball gown skirt. She paired it with a simple
veil that trailed a few inches longer than her train.
With Maggie there, offering her
expertise, it had been easy to choose flowers—orange roses with
green foxtail fern and little reddish-orange berries.
The cake tasting had been the
highlight of the day. The three of them spent two hours tasting
cake, and laughing.
“
I don’t know. The lemon
is light and fresh, but the Italian Cream is rich and delicious.
Which is your favorite?” Katie looked to Maggie and then
Gram.
“
At the moment, I don’t
ever want to see cake again.” Gram rubbed her belly.
“
I liked them both, but I
think the Italian Cream will go best with your dinner menu,” Maggie
said.
“
This has been the best
day. Thank you both.” Katie had been on a roller coaster of
emotions. She had needed this more than she knew. She was eager to
get home to Branson and make up for the lifeless mannequin she’d
been toward him the past few weeks.
***
Katie wrenched upright in bed. Her
breathing was heavy, her forehead and chest wet with perspiration,
and tears trailed down her cheeks.
Branson sat up with her, trying to
calm her down. “You’re all right, it was just a
nightmare.”
“
I’m sorry for waking you,
go back to sleep. I’m going to the living room for a bit, and then
I’ll come back to bed.” She quietly made her way to the kitchen,
fixed a cup of tea, and sat down to process the nightmare.
What was that? Who are these people?
She concentrated on the three men and their
features, trying to pull more out of her subconscious.
God, I’m going crazy! I keep having these
nightmares that don’t make sense, and the bouts of rage . . .
what’s happening?
She laid her head in her hands and
tried to dig deep. Branson entered the kitchen, interrupting her
excavation, and sat down across from her. “Babe, I think you need
to see someone about these nightmares. I know you’ve been through
so much, maybe you need some grief counseling?”
“
No, I’m fine.”
“
You’re not fine, Katie.
I’ll go with you if you want, but—”
“
Jeez!” Katie interrupted.
“Quit nagging me like an old—” She stopped short. “I’m sorry, babe.
I don’t know why I’ve been so snappy. I just can’t make sense of
these nightmares—they have nothing to do with me. They say if
someone is chasing you in your dream, it’s because you’re under a
lot of stress. If you lose your teeth it’s because you’re
self-conscious about an upcoming speech or presentation. But how do
you explain the strange faces of men and a battered girl on the
floor?” Katie wished she hadn’t told him about that nightmare in
particular. He would assume she was crazy for certain
now.
Branson shrugged his shoulders. He
desperately wished he could help her. What had happened to the
woman he’d fallen in love with? Happy, sweet, passionate, and
lively Katie had been replaced with a discontented shell. She
resembled Katie physically, but her spirit had been replaced. He
would do whatever it took to bring her back.
***
On Tuesday, Katie had an
appointment with Dr. Bailey Windsor. She walked up to the
receptionist at the Windsor Center and gave her name. She smiled
and waited for the lady behind the desk to find her on the computer
screen. The receptionist had short dark hair, reading glasses and a
sweater tied around her shoulders. She was sitting up straight, as
if trying to balance a stack of books on her head.
She’s trying too hard
,
Katie thought.
“
Yes, I’ve got you down.
Please, take a seat and she will be ready for you in a
moment.”