“Babe,” he said, cupping my face, his thumb sliding across the curve of my cheek. “What’s going on?”
Two choices loomed in front of me. I could continue to keep Ren in the dark about what I was and hope for the best. Pray that Kyle wouldn’t figure out it was me, and that somehow we’d be able to deal with the prince and the ancients without me getting outed in the process. But I knew as I stared into his eyes, that was a lot of foolish hoping and praying—a dangerous level of it.
Telling him the truth, which was my only other choice, was so incredibly risky. I loved him. I was
in
love with him, and maybe that made me a little blind, but because I loved him, I couldn’t do that to him. I couldn’t allow him to find out through Kyle or other members of the Elite. I didn’t know what would happen if I did tell him, and I fully recognized that I would virtually be handing him a loaded gun. I had no idea what he’d do, but I knew if I spoke those words, it was over between us.
And I couldn’t ask him not to do his duty. He would be required to turn me over to the Order, or worse, to take me out himself. I knew I couldn’t let him do the latter. I was too much of a fighter for that. I knew myself. I would fight anyone who came for me even if I understood why I’d be turned in.
“You’re really starting to scare me, Ivy.” His eyes searched mine. “For real.”
The sound of traffic and the hum of conversation faded into the distance as I took a deep breath. I had to tell him. He had to know, because I wouldn’t let him be blindsided again. I couldn’t lie to him anymore.
My breath lodged in my throat. I had to do the right thing.
Chapter Twelve
My heart felt like it was about to stop in my chest. “I’m the—”
“Hey, what are you two doing down here?” a voice called from the mouth of the alley, halting me. I jerked back, and my heart nearly fell out of my chest when I saw Henry standing several feet away.
Holy crap on a buttered cracker, I’d almost admitted to being the halfling in front of Henry—an Elite member.
“Well, nothing like explaining the obvious,” Ren said. “We’re talking. You know, something two people, sometimes more, or hell, even when a person is alone, like to do without interruption.”
I gave Ren a long side-look.
Henry strode down the alley, the color of his cheeks starting to match his hair. “Kyle warned that you were a smartass. I see he wasn’t exaggerating.”
Ren smirked. “What’s up?”
“Kyle needs to speak with you.” Henry glanced in my direction, and apparently decided I was not worthy of being a part of the conversation, because he refocused on Ren. My brows rose.
“Kind of doing something right now.” Ren folded his arms. “I’ll be up to see Kyle when I—”
“It’s an order.” Henry cut him off, mirroring Ren’s stance by folding his arms. “So whatever you’re doing right now is going to have to wait.”
For a moment I thought Ren was going to continue being a smartass. The hard set of his jawline told me there was a really good chance of that happening. I also recognized that certain gleam in his eyes. Time to step in. “I can wait,” I told him, touching his arm. “Go see what Kyle needs.”
“Hell,” Ren muttered under his breath, and I knew talking to Kyle was the last thing he wanted to do. “We’ll continue this later. Okay?”
I nodded, dropping my arm.
“Times a-ticking, my man,” Henry commented.
Ren ignored him as he lifted his arm, curling his hand around the back of my neck. He lowered his head as he drew me toward him, and I went, guessing Ren was not going to hide his relationship with me in front of the newcomers. I couldn’t decide if that was a good or bad thing.
He placed his mouth beside my ear and whispered low enough for just me to hear. “You okay?”
I didn’t know what I was at the moment. “I’m fine.”
Ren hesitated for a moment, then pressed his lips to my cheek. I thought that would be it, but then his mouth was on mine, and he kissed me deeply. It was not a chaste or sweet kiss, and I almost forgot that Henry was standing there.
“I think she just got pregnant,” Henry said, clearing his throat.
Ren slowly lifted his head, his eyes locked on mine. “I think you better keep your month shut if you want to use it later for things like breathing and eating.”
My eyes widened. Oh dear.
Whatever Henry replied was lost in another quick kiss, and then the three of us were walking out of the alley. “Text me when you’re done,” I said.
“Will do.”
I looked at Henry, who was studiously acting as if I didn’t exist. “Bye, Henry,” I said.
He grunted.
I rolled my eyes while Ren gave me a half-grin. Wiggling my fingers at him, I pivoted around and started off in the opposite direction from headquarters. I waited until I reached the corner of Royal and then stopped, leaning against the wall.
“Holy shit,” I murmured, bending over as the full reality of what I’d almost done sank in. “Holy shitstorm in the making.”
My stomach roiled. I’d been a hundred percent prepared to tell Ren that I was the halfling, and those words had been right on the tip of my tongue before Henry showed up. I still needed to tell him, but this was like getting a governor’s reprieve seconds before execution.
My face scrunched.
That was a terrible way of looking at it. Okay. That was probably the most realistic way of looking at it, but seriously, it wasn’t helping.
I stood there for a couple of moments while I gained my bearings. No one paid attention to me. They probably thought I was going to puke. Luckily that sensation had passed by the time I straightened and looked around. Exhaling roughly, I started walking toward Bourbon.
It was hard to focus on the job at hand, especially when there were still no fae in sight, so my mind was bouncing around like a tennis ball in a tornado. I had no idea what Kyle wanted with Ren. Most likely normal Elite business, but I’d totally zoned out on whatever Kyle was saying after the whole halfling thing. I should’ve probably paid attention.
I hung around on Bourbon, and it was close to eight in the evening when I decided I was done waiting for Ren. I was going to stop at a diner to grab something quick to eat, and I was considering my options when I saw a flash of fuchsia near the intersection of Conti Street.
A strange sense of familiarity struck me, and instinct took over. A logical part of my brain knew it was unlikely that it was Val, because she would have to be insane to be down here, but then again, Val was obviously a little crazy.
I reached Conti Street and scanned both sides. Someone bumped into me and muttered under their breath as I turned left, onto Bourbon. There! I recognized the fuchsia shirt. My breath caught as I started in that direction and the people thinned out on the sidewalk. I spotted caramel-colored curls as tight as corkscrews.
Holy shit.
It was Val.
Deep in my core, I knew it was her and not just some random girl with curly hair. Tension poured into my muscles as I picked up my step, keeping close to the edge of the sidewalk as I followed her. She was still on Bourbon, now nearing the corner of Bienville when she looked over her shoulder.
My heart stopped. Even though we were nearly a block apart, I could swear our eyes met. She turned back around quickly and started running—like full-on sprinting.
I took off after her, dodging people, which was not easy at this time of night, but there was no way I was going to let her get away from me. Heart pumping and my bag thumping off my hip, I kept going.
There wasn’t time to call Ren or any other member of the Order, and to be honest, confronting Val in front of anyone wouldn’t be wise. Since she was working with the fae, she had to know what I was.
Darting around a group of college-aged guys who were watching someone bravely stagger across the street, I almost lost sight of her as I hit Iberville. I thought she might’ve turned down that street, but then I spotted her further up on Bourbon, nearing Canal.
Dammit. She was fast.
I couldn’t let her cross Canal. From there, she could hop on one of the trollies and end up in God knew where. So I dug in and really pushed it. My stomach ached, reminding me that I had, in fact, almost died not too long ago, but I ignored the burn and kept going.
I was quickly gaining on her, then she turned left on Canal and raced down the block. Without warning, she darted into one of the hotels. I followed, bypassing a startled-looking bellhop.
Music and laughter filled the lobby of the hotel. I turned wildly, scanning in all directions. A door across from the elevators drifted shut, and I knew, just freaking knew it was her.
Motherfucker, she’d gone up the stairs.
Jesus, I was going to punch her in the face just for
that
alone.
Calling on every ounce of willpower I had left, I threw open the door and charged up the stairs. Reaching the second floor landing, I looked up and saw her two floors above me. “Val!” I shouted. “Stop!”
She didn’t.
Of course not.
Not when she knew how much I hated stairs. Running up them was like lying down in front of a slow-ass moving, heavy as hell trolley and letting it run you over.
Halfway up the stairs, I was grasping the railing as I fought to keep going. How many stories was this hotel? A hundred? Just when I thought my legs were going to give out, cool air washed over me and invaded the warm, stale air of the stairwell. Rounding one more fight, I saw the door to the roof was wide open, the pieces of a rusty handle on the dirty cement floor.
I burst out onto the roof and immediately saw Val standing in the center, her back to me. The sun had set, and moonlight flowed across the pavement, giving way to deep shadows near the churning units covering most of the roof.
Winded, I stopped and placed a hand to my side. “Stairs?” I squeaked. “Really?”
“I was hoping you wouldn’t follow.” She turned slowly, facing me. “You hate stairs.”
“No shit,” I gasped, wondering if I was going to pass out. “How did you break the handle on the door?”
“Drop kick,” she replied. “You know I have strong legs.”
Legs of freaking steel right there. Dragging in deep gulps of air, I focused on her—on the girl who used to be my best friend. We stared at each other for several moments, neither of us saying a word. Then Val spoke first.
“You just had to follow me, didn’t you?” Val pushed the curls back from her face and then dropped her hands, shaking her head. “You couldn’t just not have seen me and went on your merry way?”
I stared at her. “That’s a stupid question.”
She sneered at me.
“You were down there, where any Order member could’ve seen you. Are you surprised that one did?” I asked.
“I’ve been careful,” she said, and the sleeve of her bright blouse slipped off her shoulder. “No one has seen me until now.”
I kept my hands at my sides, watching her closely. “Why would you be down in the Quarter?”
“Ivy, I’m not going to tell you that.”
“Of course not,” I muttered as she met my gaze again. The pain of her betrayal blossomed in my chest like a noxious weed. “Why?”
“Why what?” she asked.
“Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about.” I stepped forward, and she tensed. “Why did you do this? How could you betray us like you did?”
Her pressed her lips together, not responding.
“People died, Val. People you knew. Who you worked with and who trusted you,” I continued, and the bitter betrayal gave way to red-hot anger. “I almost died, Val. Your best friend. The person who trusted—”
“I didn’t want you to get hurt,” she fired back, her hands closing into fists at her sides. “You followed me, Ivy. You followed me and the prince. Who the fuck does that?”
“Me!” I shouted. “I kept thinking they had you under their control. That they were manipulating you. That was why I followed. I followed you because I care about you and you almost got me killed.”
“But you didn’t get killed, did you?”
“That’s not the point, dumbass.”
Her eyes rolled. “Why are we even standing here talking about this? I know you’ve been given orders to kill me or bring me in, but you want to stand here and talk me to death.”
“I want to know why the fuck you did this! I don’t even care about the Order,” I admitted, my voice cracking with raw emotion. “You did this to me! I want to know why.”
Val’s shoulders rose, and I could tell she wanted to look away, but knew better than to do that at this point. “You don’t understand.”
“You’re right,” I snapped back. “You got your parents killed, Val. Do you know that? They were executed because of you.”
She flinched. “That was . . . sad.”
“Sad?”
Her nostrils flared. “Jesus, Ivy, sacrifices have to be made. It’s not like they didn’t live a long and happy life.”
My mouth dropped open. “I can’t believe you.”
“But you should.”
“Stop talking in cliffhangers!” I was losing my patience.
“Jesus, Ivy, are you really happy working for the Order? Spending what limited time you have on this Earth, putting your life on the line every day for a bunch of people who literally can’t even stop from drinking themselves to death? You’re happy getting up every morning knowing that there is about a fifty-percent chance you’re going to die that day and get paid shit for it?”
My jaw worked. “We get paid pretty well.”
“For going out there and defending those fuckers, knowing we’re going to eventually die doing it?” She flung her arm out toward the ledge of the roof. “No. We don’t get paid enough for this shit. And you know we can’t just quit. We were born into this, cosmically pulling the short straw on life.”
She was right about the not quitting part. It wasn’t exactly unheard of, but it wasn’t easy.
“And I know you’re not happy,” she continued. “That’s why you take college classes—”
“Yeah, I take college classes, but I don’t betray everyone I know,” I shot back in a state of disbelief. “If you were this unhappy, you could’ve just walked away from it.”
She snorted. “I could’ve done that, but I . . . You don’t know, Ivy. You see the world one way, but you have no idea what the other side is like.”