Totlandia: Winter (12 page)

“You’re true blue. He knows that.” She laid her head against his shoulder. “Barry, do you hate me for putting you in this predicament?”

He waited until the carolers had moved to the other side of the ballroom before muttering, “Of course not. Granted, I’d rather be anywhere but here, but if this means so much to you, I guess I can stand it. For one night, anyway.” He squeezed her hand. “I just hope you don’t get hurt. Because then I’d have to haul off and bitch slap Mr. Maybe. Or his wife. Ouch! She looks like she packs quite a punch.”

She was laughing so hard, she doubled over. Barry pulled her up and gave her a kiss on the lips.

“That’s just in case anyone doubts I love you,” he whispered in her ear.

She teared up and gave him a fierce hug, as if she’d never let him go.

***

Brady shouldn’t have been looking over at Ally, damn it, because whenever he did, it made Jade antsy and bitchy. Still, every now and then he’d give her a sidelong glance.

He glanced over just as Barry kissed her.

He also saw Ally grab Barry as if she never wanted to let go of him.

What the hell kind of kiss is that?
he wondered.
Maybe the guy isn’t a fruit after all. Maybe he’s just playing her
.

The thought made his heart drop to the pit of his stomach. He wanted to kill the son-of-a-bitch.

***

It sure as hell bothered Bettina that Brady was barely listening to her. But instead, she gave him a simpering smile. “We must have you two over for dinner some night! How about after the holidays?”

“Sure,” Brady assured her. “How about the first Saturday of the year?” He looked over at Jade and winked.

Jade looked back at him with a silent scream. “Save me!” it seemed to be saying, but Brady ignored it. He knew it should have bugged him that Bettina’s husband, Art, couldn’t take his eyes off Jade’s low-cut sweater dress, but it didn’t. They each had a role to play in the intricate PHM&T hunger games. If getting Bettina’s husband all hot and bothered was Jade’s, then so be it. As far as he was concerned, getting cozy with Bettina was the key to victory.

***

Jade couldn’t believe it. She was standing right next to Art Cross, one of her old regulars at the Condor Club, and he didn’t even recognize her! How many tens had he stuck in her G-String? How many lap dances had she given him? Granted, yes, she’d worn a wig, but come on already! And she still went by Jade!

But they weren’t standing in the Condor Club, and she wasn’t hugging a pole.

Maybe the fact that she was clinging to Brady instead made all the difference.

Or not. His eyes hadn’t left her breasts. She could have had one eye in the middle of her forehead and he wouldn’t’ve noticed.

Come to think of it, the same thing always happened at the Condor. Go figure.

“What is it again that you do, Art?” she asked, attempting to get him to quit counting the threads on her new angora sweater dress.

“Financial management. Speaking of which, Brady, I have a hot tip on a new start-up that may interest you.”

“Oh? I don’t know, Art. I’m playing so many dark horses right now. In fact, Matt turned me onto a company out of the UK doing some innovative stuff with DNS and Wi-Fi. Turns out, he was right. It was worth investigating.”

Brady’s declaration was all it took to pry Art’s eyes off Jade’s boobs. By the time Art caught Bettina’s eye, he wasn’t smiling.

Upon hearing Matt’s name, neither was Bettina.

***

“We’re standing under mistletoe! How about a kiss for an old friend?”

Obviously, Kelly’s question threw Matt off guard because he spilled his wine on Lorna’s new shoes.

Lorna jumped back a bit too late. They were ruined.

“Oops! My bad,” Kelly giggled. “Just like old times, eh, Matty?”

Matt shook his head. “You were too young to drink.”

“Isn’t that why you bought booze for the whole dorm?” She batted her eyelashes at him. “Or maybe it was just for me. In any case, much appreciated.”

Lorna smiled uncertainly. “Bettina mentioned you’d all gone to school together, but I didn’t know you two knew each other…so well.”

“He was my biggest crush.” Kelly grinned slyly at Matt.

He actually blushed. “Now you tell me.”

“Oh, don’t play coy. Of course you knew. Why else would I have invited you to the Valentine’s dance at Lick?”

“You did?” Matt’s search for that memory left him with a wrinkled brow. “It’s totally slipped my mind.”

“I’ll have to refresh it. I’ve got a photo somewhere, I’m sure.” She looked over at Lorna. “Fair warning, though, they’re x-rated. He passed out on my bed. We hid him from our dorm monitor by putting him under the covers.”

Matt shook his head in wonder. “Why don’t I remember any of this?”

Kelly grabbed Bettina as she floated by. “Back me up, Bettina. Remind your brother that he was once the love of my life. Still is, but we’re keeping that little secret from Keith.” She waved at her husband, who was standing near the bar with Barry.

A chance to take a dig at Lorna was exactly what Bettina needed right now, since the cookbook, which was being sold at the event, was winning accolades from every club member in attendance. Almost every box of books Lorna had brought with her had been sold.

Bettina gave Keith the once-over. Then she looked from Matt to Kelly to Lorna, and back to Matt again. “It was a love match. You broke her heart…among other things. I had to console her for months. If you had stayed sober long enough during college, you might have remembered, Matt.” She glanced at Lorna. “All’s well that ends well, I guess.”

They all laughed.

Except for Lorna. She was wishing that the carolers would put a sock in it, because she was getting a splitting headache.

***

“I miss you. Why haven’t you called?” Kimberley’s hiss came with a firm pat to Brady’s ass. If the carolers hadn’t been loudly and enthusiastically encouraging all the faithful to come to Bethlehem, he was sure the whole room would have heard him yelp.

“It’s a busy time of year. You know that.” Brady nudged her through the terrace door. It was freezing out there, but he could’ve cared less. If he were lucky, she’d catch a cold and be bedridden for a month.

If there truly were a God, she’d come to her senses and leave him alone.

Apparently, there wasn’t because she presumed his wanting to be alone with her meant he was ready for his own hallelujah chorus, and she dropped to her knees. He was still trying to pry her fingers from his belt buckle when he heard Barry call down to him, “Nice night isn’t it?”

He was standing just above them, on the upstairs balcony. Thankfully Barry hadn’t noticed Kimberley due to the privet hedge in front of the terrace being taller than Kimberley on her knees.

“Yes, beautiful!” Brady tried to keep his voice lighthearted despite Kimberley’s shenanigans. He slapped the top of Kimberley’s head so that she’d keep still. But when he tried to step away, she held tight to his zipper.

“Your son—Oliver, isn’t it?—we think he’s become Zoe’s little crush.” Barry chuckled. “We should get them together sometime.”

“Get rid of him,” Kimberley muttered.

Brady smacked her head harder this time. “I’d—we’d like that.”

“By the way, your wife—Jade, isn’t it?—she’s looking for you now.” It was just light enough to see Barry’s broad grin in the moonlight. “Shall I tell her I found you?”

“No! I mean—I need some fresh air.”

“I hear you. Do you mind if I come down and join you?”

“No, not at all.” The moment Brady said that, Kimberley punched him in the nuts. He had to control the urge to kick her in the ass as she crawled off the terrace and back inside.

She’d just disappeared through the door when Barry came bounding up. He looked around, then shrugged. “Your little friend didn’t go on my account, did she?”

“You—saw her?” Brady was glad it was dark, so that Barry couldn’t see his face turn purple with shame.

“Bird’s-eye view.” He assessed Brady with the tilt of his head. “You give a new meaning to the term ‘motherfucker.’ So, stud, tell me, how many of these lascivious ladies are you banging, anyhow?”

“What gives you the idea—”

“Give it a break. You were just about to get head, and you’re standing less than fifty feet from your wife! Not to mention Ally is there, too, right beside Jade.” He shook his head in awe. “I should tell Ally so that she can quit believing your cockamamie bullshit about love everlasting.”

“No! Don’t! I—” Despite the cold, beads of sweat were forming on his brow. “I really do love Ally. Jade and I are just together for the club membership, and that’s it! I mean it. If you tell Ally about…about Kimberley, she’ll hate me. I met her before Ally. I wish I hadn’t gotten together with her, but I needed to. For Oliver’s sake.”

Barry, in awe, flopped against the wall. “You people and this stupid club! It’s going to ruin all of you. Can’t you see that?”

“If it hadn’t been for the club, I would have never met Ally. And she and I are smart enough to keep it from coming between us.”

“For her sake, I hope you’re right.” Barry nodded toward the party. “You’ve got to tell Ally the truth about Hedda Handjob. You don’t want her to find out from anyone else. Like me.”

“I will. I promise. I just have to find the right way to position it to her, so that she understands why I got myself into this mess.” Brady shook his head. “How do you guys do it?”

“By ‘you guys,’ do you mean those of my persuasion who refuse to come out of the proverbial closet?” Barry laughed. “Beats me. I jump back out as soon as Ally and Zoe are official club members.” He pointed to Keith Overton, who waved to Barry even as he put an arm around his wife, Kelly. “Ask that guy, there. The reason I’m out here is that he’s been doing his best to hit on me all night. Go figure. I don’t know what the guy is thinking. San Francisco is not much of a closet to hide in. It’s more like a glass box. Sort of like your little mommy harem—I mean club. Eventually, the parent realizes that what’s right for their child isn’t what they thought. Our kids have minds of their own. And bodies. And emotions. Someday we’ll have to accept that we can’t change our past, or their future. That we can’t live vicariously through them.”

Brady shrugged. “Great sentiments. Check in with me in a couple of years when you and your hubby have a kid of your own. I’ll put in a good word for you, with Bettina and company.”

Barry’s laugh rang out into the darkness. “As
if.
Yeah, I can see it now, Christian and Bettina as besties. I can see what all the ladies see in you, that sense of humor. Let’s go in. I’ll buy you a beer. Unless you’d like to join me in having a cosmo…No? Didn’t think so. Our first toast will be to Ally. Our second, to stereotypes.
Viva la difference
, eh? Ah hell, Doctor Keith is walking this way. Quick, let’s pretend we’re discussing the 49ers...”

***

“Where have you been?” Ally asked Jillian. “Bettina’s already done her head count, so go over and say hello.”

“My damn sitter got a better offer. From Sally, I think. How low is that? I had to take the girls to my mother’s.” She looked around. “I better go find Bettina.”

“She was headed toward the kitchen, to bitch at the caterer. I don’t know why! I told her I’ve gotten it all under control, but she insists they’re moving much too slowly.”

Jillian nodded as she ran that way.

But she froze when she opened the kitchen door. Yes, Bettina was there—

And so was Brad.

This was the catering gig he had wanted her to work?

No! Oh no….

Bettina was probably nagging him about the fact that he was shorthanded. Yes, he was, because of Jillian.

In unison, they looked up and over at her. All she could do is smile wanly at them, and wave.

Brad scowled. Bettina smirked.
Gotcha.

In fact, as she walked past Jillian and out the door, she murmured, “You know how I feel about tardiness. Still, in the spirit of Christmas, I’ll cut your infraction in half.”

Jillian nodded mutely. She waited until Bettina was on the other side of the door before she ran up to Brad.

“Glad you showed up. But who told you to get all dressed up? Someone might spill something on you.” He shrugged. “Here, put on this apron and pick up a tray. That bitch is threatening to cut our fee by a third because we quote-unquote aren’t living up to the service we promised.”

“But Brad, I’m—I’m not here to work.” Jillian bit her bottom lip to keep from crying. “I lied to you. I’m here as a guest.”

“Is that so?” Brad tossed her apron to the floor. “That’s it, I’ve had it with you! Who the hell do you think you are? No, don’t answer that. Because whatever you say will be another lie.”

He was right.

Jillian turned around and walked toward the door.

She made a note to herself to bring home a doggie bag. Now that she’d lost her job, she’d need all the handouts she could get.

Monday 24 December

9:36 p.m.

“You’re being silly.” Even through the cell phone, Jillian could hear the disgust in her mother’s voice. “They’re only sixteen months old! They’re never going to know they didn’t have a Christmas tree in their living room.”

“That’s not the point, Mom.
I
will know. And I can’t do that to my kids.” Jillian leaned her head against the kitchen window, but its icy pane did little to cool the heat of her anxiety. “It’s Christmas Eve for God’s sake!”

“A tree for one year olds is an extravagance you can’t afford, Jillian. Look, if you want them to see a tree, take them to the mall. The tree there will be nicer than anything you can do for them, anyway,” Jillian’s mother must have covered the phone with palm of her hand because her next sentence, addressed to Jillian’s most recent stepfather, sounded muffled. “More bourbon and less nog, Fred! Jeez, I’m barely feeling a buzz…”

Jillian slammed the phone onto its receiver. How could she expect her mother to understand? They rarely had a tree when Jillian was growing up. Her mother had other things to spend her money on.