C
HAPTER
18
H
e reached a tentative hand toward her face, but halted shy of her satiny skin.
“Why did you stop?” she asked.
He wasn’t exactly sure. He’d never been the sort to ask permission of his lovers. It had never seemed necessary. He took what he wanted and made sure they enjoyed the taking. But then, none of them had ever thrown him out of her chamber.
Or turned down his proposal of marriage.
“I don’t want to go beyond where you’ll welcome me,” he admitted. For the first time in his life, he wanted more than a bedding from a woman. He wanted her to accept him, all of him. And he wanted to accept her back.
She cupped his hand with hers and brought it to her cheek. Then she turned her head and pressed her lips on his palm.
Jacob wished he could feel her soft mouth on his hand like that for about a week. But she turned to face him again, still nestling her cheek against his palm.
“Where would you like to be welcome?” she asked.
Her sultry tone plucked at his gut and made his balls tense.
“I’d like to touch your face,” he lied. He wanted to touch her everywhere. He wanted to stroke her heart. He wanted to caress her soul. Instead, he skimmed his fingertips around the oval of her face, exploring the hollow beneath her cheekbones, the indentation at her temples and her little pointed chin. “Then I’d like to touch your neck.”
She nodded and smiled at him.
Her skin was smooth and unbearably soft. He stroked her lightly, as if she’d break, but in reality it was because he didn’t think he could stand more direct contact. Just those feathery touches made his cock iron-hard.
She sighed with pleasure, and he stopped asking for permission.
He savored every bit of her, smoothing his palms along her shoulders, pushing the wrapper aside and down her arms because he couldn’t help himself. He lingered in the crease of her elbow. He tickled along her ribs. He gazed at her exposed breasts, but didn’t touch them. Her nipples were drawn tight and her breath unsteady.
“I never know where I am with you,” he said, his voice husky with need. “Why do you let me love you sometimes and not others?”
“Men take their pleasure with impunity. A woman has to protect her reputation. We’re not likely to be discovered by your cousin here in your home, are we?” she said. “This is safe.”
In the silence that followed, all he heard was the steady patter of rain, the crackle of the fire, and the determined beating of his own heart. Didn’t she think he could keep her safe, that he’d never see her shamed?
“Viola is no threat to you. She’s not that sort.” Jacob trailed his fingers along the crease beneath her breast and watched her nipple bunch even tighter. “No, it’s more than that.”
She made a small helpless noise in the back of her throat.
“It’s about control,” he realized. “You came to me this time. You started this. You want to be in charge.”
“Is that so bad?”
“Not in some things,” Jacob said, circling her nipples with his knuckles. “But not now. Not with me. You don’t have to be in control. Neither of us does. This is about giving.”
She swallowed hard. “Most men want to take from me.”
“I’m not most men.” He covered her mouth with his and kissed her. She kissed him back.
Fragile. Hopeful. Trusting.
He rose with her in his arms and carried her to the waiting bed, still kissing her.
He was inside her mouth, all wet and slippery, hidden from the world. His tongue loved hers; then he kissed the corner of her mouth, spreading the moisture there.
He laid her out on the bed, parting the wrapper to bare her completely, breasts, belly, hips, long legs. The lovely dark curls over her sex glistened with dampness.
He climbed into the cool linens with her, determined to taste every bit of her. Julianne arched her back like a cat stretching, thrusting her breasts toward him. She raised her arms in welcome.
It was as good a place to start as any.
His lips were wet and soft on her breast, nuzzling and sweet, at first. She thought it was like a glimpse of heaven. Then he tugged at her nipples, sucking fiercely. That was even better.
With only his mouth, he was taking her to that tumultuous place she wanted to be. She shifted under him, unable to keep still.
He moved down her body, pleasure dribbling down with him like raindrops streaking a window. He settled between her splayed legs. His breath was warm on her, his freshly shaved cheek smooth on her inner thigh. She nudged herself into his mouth, accepting without question the bliss he offered. When he put his lips against her sensitive spot, she almost ceased to exist. Blood pounded between her legs.
Body, heart, body, soul, body, mind.
Whose body, whose heart, whose soul and mind, she wasn’t sure. She and Jacob were getting all tangled together, tighter than a Gordian knot. Whose sigh? Whose quickened breath? Whose exquisite touch? They moved as one, petting and soothing, tormenting and fondling. The distinction between them blurred and blended. Where did one end and the other begin?
He brought her to the ragged edge and stopped. She moaned, but then he raised himself and lay prone over her. They coupled without effort, without thought, sliding together with a sense of rightness that set her blood singing, pounding around their joining, bathing him in her salty sea.
“I won’t leave you, Julianne,” he promised, the heat and friction making his words come in short bursts. “You’ll have to drive me away.”
She was beyond speech. She couldn’t get enough of him. She gripped his buttocks and tilted herself into him, taking him all the way in. She wrapped her legs around his waist and hooked her ankles at the small of his back. The way he pounded into her, she knew he was bruising her but she didn’t care. Jacob’s face was taut with the joy of their coming together.
Julianne closed her eyes and from a dark corner of her mind, other faces rose up to taunt her. The men who’d used her. The ones she’d used. Need and shame washed over her in equal measure. She wished they’d all go away.
All but Jacob. Only him.
Harder. Yes.
She needed Jacob to drive out the others, to swive away the ones who’d only taken from her, to forgive her for the ones she’d hurt, till only he was left.
He quickened their pace.
Was he driving away the women from his past with each bone-jarring thrust?
“Look at me, love,” he urged.
She opened her eyes and saw only him. And only herself, reflected in his gray gaze.
She glowed inside, as if lightning curled and tightened between her legs. Then when she felt him come in hard pulses, the bolt unleashed itself. She coiled around him in rings of pleasure. Bliss spread outward in concentric waves, bathing her entire body in joy.
She half-expected light to shoot from her fingers and toes.
A thunderous boom shook the town house and rain washed the windows. She realized vaguely that the downpour was still going on outside. The storm in the bed was subsiding.
And so was the storm in her heart.
Eventually the rain battering the panes slackened to a gentle patter. Julianne didn’t know how long they lay together, tangled on the sweat-damp sheets. She knew only that she was perfectly content not to move.
Jacob started to speak, but she put her fingers to his lips.
“Let’s not talk,” she said. “We might ruin it.”
“I don’t think that’s possible.” His smile was wide as the Thames.
She cocked a brow at him. “Given our history, do you want to rethink that? We argue with regularity.”
“I suppose you’re right.” He lay on his back, one hand behind his head, the other arm wrapped around her. “We should make a pact. No serious discussions after lovemaking.”
“I’m amenable to that.”
“Now all I have to do is see that we engage in this most pleasurable activity as often as possible.” He tickled her ribs and she rolled away from him with a laugh.
“I’m amenable to that as well, but no tickling.”
“There’s a challenge no man can resist. Where else are you ticklish?” He dove toward her and soon had her pinned down so he could torture her into peals of laughter.
A knock on the door interrupted their play.
Julianne snatched the sheets and pulled them to her chin. “What is it?”
“The hansom, milady. The driver has returned as Mr. Preston requested,” Fenwick said through the door. “It’s waiting for you below. Would you like me to send Mrs. Trott up to assist you?”
“No, I’ll manage. Thank you.” She didn’t move till she heard Fenwick’s footsteps retreating down the stairs. Amazingly enough, she felt no embarrassment over being caught in bed with Jacob by his servant. It felt as if she belonged there and Fenwick had accepted her presence as a matter of course. “You’ll help me, won’t you?”
“I knew it would come to this,” Jacob said ruefully. “I’m destined to end my days as a lady’s maid.”
“That remains to be seen,” she said as she scampered out of bed in nothing but her skin. “Do you think you can perform the duties of one well enough to contemplate making it a permanent position?”
His gaze sizzled over her. “Probably not. My mind is not at all on dressing you at the moment.”
“Nevertheless, I expect your help,” she said as she wiggled into her all-in-one and sat down to slip on her stockings. She tied the garters above her knees and fit her corset into place. “If you’d be so kind as to tie my laces, sir.”
He proved very competent when it came to women’s undergarments, cinching her snugly, but not so tight she couldn’t breathe.
“Are you still set on going alone to the Druids’ gathering this evening?” he asked.
Her shoulders tensed. “I sense a serious discussion in the making.”
Jacob turned her around to face him and pulled her close. “I need to know.”
“I don’t see as I have any other option.” She eased out of his embrace and stepped into her crinoline. “I’m not happy about the idea, especially after seeing the cruelty Sir Malcolm is capable of, but if we want access to this gathering of the inner Druid circle, it behooves me to follow instructions.”
“I was afraid you’d say that.” He held up her skirt so she could slip it over her head. The yards of fabric billowed over the crinoline.
“Please don’t try to talk me out of it.” Julianne shrugged into her jacket and fastened the silver frogs that closed the bodice. “I’ll use extreme caution and if I find I’m uncomfortable in my surroundings, I promise I’ll leave. I’m still a countess, after all. It’s not as if they can hold me captive.”
“Oh, I’m pretty sure they can,” Jacob said. “The only question is whether they will.”
A shiver trembled over her, but she gave herself a stern mental shake. “I’ve tried to hit upon another way around this.”
“Good. You’re open to another idea, which I happen to have,” Jacob said. “I intend to follow you.”
She shook her head. “Isn’t that the same as going with me? If you’re seen by the Druids, they may not allow me in, and we’ll lose the chance to find the other half of the manuscript.”
“First, we don’t know for sure they even have the other half.” His tone grew testier by the moment. “And second, no one will see me.”
“Does that mean you have the ability to become invisible? You should tell Gil. The boy so wants you to have a magical power. Invisibility is almost as good as being able to fly.” She raked her fingers through her hair, trying to arrange it in some semblance of a dignified style and failing miserably. Then she turned toward Jacob with a frown. “Somehow, Sir Malcolm knows you do possess an extraordinary gift. How do you suppose that happened?”
“I don’t know,” Jacob admitted. “Even my own brother hasn’t a clue about me and metals. Jerome knows only that I had a lot of headaches when we were growing up. It’s not something I talk about freely to many people.”
She stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. “Your secret is safe with me,” she said lightly.
“And yours are safe with me,” Jacob said in all seriousness. “I care about you too much to let you come to harm. Don’t fault me for trying to protect you.”
“I care about you too,” she admitted, letting a small bit of the shield she’d built around her heart fall away. “I suppose you think I won’t know you’re following me tonight either.”
“You won’t. Unless you need me.”
“If you ruin this for me, Jacob—”
“Will you let it ruin us?” He looked down at her, earnest and intent.
Us. We. Oneness.
They had certainly been joined that afternoon, but now she felt entirely separate again. Surprisingly enough, it wasn’t a good feeling.