Authors: Rose Harris
The embrace that joined the two friends was as timeless as their friendship. Through fights, tragedies, and birth the girls had stood not only as friends but also as sisters.
Their tears wiped away, they laughed, smiled, and agreed to go downstairs and enjoy the evening. After all, Roxi had to show Alex what he lost, and Ava wanted to show Jace what he could have.
****
The smell of the lake permeated the air and gave Ava a feeling of rejuvenation. She saw the stars dusting the evening sky while floating across the smooth water. The waves that rocked the boat were gentle and rhythmic. Thinking of how much Ashlyn would love a boat ride, Ava smiled.
“With a smile like that, please tell me you are thinking of a man,” Sylvia, Chris’s wife, said. Over pizza and beer, Ava had discovered she was a pediatrician with a local practice. She’d also been surprised to learn her children went to the school where Ava would be doing her in-class work and her interview.
Ava glowed with maternal pride whenever she had a willing audience to talk about her daughter. “Not a man, my daughter. She loves the motion of the swing, and I was just imagining her trying to keep her balance on the boat.”
Jace gushed, “You have got to see her. She has to be the cutest kid I’ve ever seen. She’s got these penetrating blue eyes. It’s almost as if she can see right through you.”
“You better watch it, buddy, you’re starting to sound like a proud papa, and she’s not even yours. Didn’t you just make an announcement about another kid?” Brent joked. Unfortunately, the jovial mood came to a screeching halt with the off-hand comment.
Jace glared a hole through his friend, while Ava and Roxi stared at each other. Always the wiseass, Alex followed up with, “At least women want him, lard-ass. I should push you off the boat for being a dickhead.”
“Dude, I was just joking. We all know this kid can’t be his. He doesn’t even remember the mother. Jace is no idiot, he does not sleep with as many women as he does and not do his best to remember their names. You never know who is looking to get a little piece of you.”
“You really are an idiot. How many head shots did you take last year?” Alex commented.
“One too many if you ask me,” Chris put in.
“So, Chris, how many women do you all sleep with?” Although the laughter in Sylvia’s voice sounded forced, Ava appreciated her attempt to lighten the mood.
As the illuminated houses that graced the banks of the man-made lake zipped by, the tension on the boat allowed thoughts of her own secrets to penetrate her jovial mood. When a faulty fuel gauge cut short the time on the lake, an obvious lie by the host, nobody called him on his eagerness to end the evening.
Docking the boat went smoothly, and Ava knew this was something the friends did often. She envied their freedom. When everyone was leaving, Sylvia reminded Ava if she needed help with daycare throughout the week to give her a call. She happily volunteered her fifteen-year-old niece who was staying with them.
The hug she received from all the guys was as unexpected as it was pleasant, but Ava noticed everyone exchanged pleasantries but Roxi and Alex. Hell, even Brent gave Jace a man-hug, with a “We cool?” Jace jokingly called him a girl and told him to grow a set.
The laughter that carried through the night air relaxed Ava with the hope everything would turn out okay.
As the friends lay in the queen-sized bed, which only last night seemed huge and extravagant, Ava felt like a teenager again and fought over the covers with Roxi. They talked clothes, dreams and boys. The biggest difference about tonight, though, aside from their age, was the men they discussed mattered more than ever before.
Ditching Jace had proven easier than either of them had imagined. He seemed almost eager to have some time to himself. The music that played throughout the house was proof of his pent-up energy and his need to relieve his frustrations through a strenuous workout.
The constant thud of bass that came from whatever music Jace played during his workout pulsed monotonously in the air. It alone would have made it hard to sleep, but the secrets that had separated the best friends for the past few years now kept them up late confiding all.
“Are you going to tell me what happened with Jace?” Roxi questioned while lying in the moonlight-drenched room.
“I don’t know how much you want to hear.”
“Don’t give me details, just the basics. I can’t wait to hear what finally pulled the two of you together.”
“Okay, I’ll tell you, but only because you asked so nice.” Rolling onto her back, Ava watched the play of the moonlight’s shadows that danced across the ceiling. “I’d come home from a horrible date, put on a robe and had gone looking for you, margaritas and mindless movies. That’s when I found Jace lying on the couch. I was so excited to see him I literally jumped on top of him, without thought of my wardrobe.” The laughter in her voice had Roxi chuckling at the picture Ava painted.
“Let me guess, my brother being a man, your lack of clothing was the first thing he noticed.”
“You could say that, and when I noticed he was h—, I mean, affected…”
“Too much information, I don’t want to hear about his boy-parts.” Roxi exaggerated her grossed-out voice, but taking note of her friend’s discomfort, Ava rephrased her sentence.
“He seemed to be as into me as I was him, and I took advantage of our situation. Of course it wasn’t until after I changed into my pajamas I let the real me loose.” Not trying to give away too much information, Ava tried to suppress the giggles that emerged at the memory of Jace’s mouth hitting the floor when she walked out with a cami and shorts.
“Let me guess, you had on a booby shirt.” Roxi’s response, tainted with a hint of laughter, proved she understood where this was going.
“You got it. I’d wanted to chase him for more years than I care to count, and I took full advantage of the situation. Okay, back to the serious part, we were about to watch a movie when the lights began to flicker because of a storm. One minute the lights were on and we’re looking at each other, the next I was kissing him senseless in the dark. I don’t honestly know when it turned into something more than a kiss, but, Roxi, it was the most romantic night of my life. He held me as if I was precious and fragile. I couldn’t have asked for a better first time.”
“If it was so wonderful, why didn’t you say something when I came home the next day? I don’t understand the secrecy. Didn’t you think I could be happy for the two of you? I always thought you two were meant for each other, even back then.” The genuine concern and remorse that emitted from her words proved Roxi’s connection with her best friend.
Ava took a deep breath before divulging the hard part. “He was gone when I woke up the next day. It was after eleven, and he was nowhere to be found. At first, I fantasized he’d gone out to get us breakfast, but after a shower, I noticed his bag was gone. I was heartbroken. I had given him my virginity, hell, my love, and he had thrown it right back in my face. It was so embarrassing to know I was just another notch on the infamous Jace Johnson’s bedpost, so I hid it. Especially from you, his sister.” The air squeezing through her tightening chest felt like knives going in and out in slow succession.
“I don’t think I ever would have told anyone if I hadn’t gotten pregnant. It never even crossed my mind. We had been so careful with using condoms the entire night. It all happened so fast. One day I’m a lovesick college student, and the next I’ve got morning sickness and have to plan my future around a baby.” The silence that surrounded them was suffocating. For the first time Ava noticed the music that had seemed alive earlier was now off.
“Why didn’t you tell Jace?”
“I didn’t want to stand in his way. He’d just been drafted to the Renegades when I found out, and everyone was talking about the great future ahead of him. I couldn’t take his dreams from him.”
“He was just as responsible as you. All the times you had to juggle your schedule to work around Ashlyn’s daycare issues or sickness. You didn’t have to be alone.”
“I wasn’t alone. I had my parents and you. Heck, your mom has always been there as much as mine. I’ve done everything I can to make a good life for Ashlyn. I didn’t need your brother’s money.”
“I’m not talking about money. I’m talking about support. Didn’t you think he would want to be involved with his child?”
Without hesitation Ava spoke. “No. He has always said he never wanted kids. That he was afraid he would turn out like his biological father. I really believe he feels that way. You should have heard him talk about the pending paternity case. He’s actually praying this kid isn’t his. He doesn’t want any kids, and I hate I will have to force one on him.”
“I don’t think force is what you’re going to have to do to get him to accept Ashes. He already loves that little girl, in case you haven’t noticed, and she loves him. Honestly, I think your biggest obstacle is going to be the fact you two don’t trust each other. He didn’t trust you with his heart three years ago, and you’re afraid to trust him with your daughter.”
“When did you become the adult? I’m the one who is supposed to tell you what to do. What is our friendship coming to?”
“We’re the best of friends and I love you, Jace and especially my niece. I want you to find the happiness that has eluded you. You deserve to be happy.”
Silent tears slipped from the edges of tightly squeezed eyes as Ava tried to control her emotions. “Thank you. Thank you for being my friend through everything. I don’t know if Jace will ever accept his role as a father with all I’ve done.”
“He loves you. I can tell by the way he watches your every move, even when he appears to be looking elsewhere. Any man who feels that way about a woman will be a wonderful father, I promise you.”
Random thoughts and emotions fought for attention in Ava’s mind as she continued to watch the dancing shadows. “Do you want to talk about you and Alex?”
“What’s there to talk about? He broke my heart and he doesn’t care.” The strong words were diminished by the hurt that hung around the edges.
“He didn’t act like a man who didn’t care.”
“He’s just worried I’d spill our little
secret
to Jace.”
“I don’t th—” Ava tried to speak.
“Don’t worry, Ava. I’m over it. It was just a shock to see him.” Tough girl Roxi was back, and her tone of voice proved this discussion was over. “It’s been a long day. I’m going to go to sleep. Night, love you.”
“Night, love you too.”
****
Unable to sleep, Ava listened to the quiet. After Roxi dosed off, Ava gave up on the ruse of sleeping and slipped out of the room on quiet feet and headed out to sit on the deck when the gentle rocking of the pier beckoned her. The air, which earlier had seemed warm, was now cooler than Ava remembered as she walked through the soft grass damp with dew.
It always amazed her how precious silence was, minus the white noise of the night. If you had asked her three years ago what she would be doing on a Saturday night when she was twenty-two, she would have answered without question she would be at the hottest club, dancing until her feet hurt. Funny what a couple of years, and a child, brought to the equation.
The cold shocked her feet as she slipped them in the dark water; Ava adapted to the cold quickly. The circular motions in the water caused minor waves to hit the dock pillars. The decisions she made were of her choosing, and she was proud of the woman and mother she had become. It hadn’t been easy adjusting her school schedule to fit in the necessary classes so she could graduate on time. It was even harder trying to work a job around classes and still have time to see her daughter. Without her parents and their acceptance, she would never have been able to accomplish so much in the past three years. With Ashlyn just over two, she had the comfort of knowing her daughter wasn’t traumatized by any lack of attention in her first years.
The croak of frogs that were well hidden throughout the grass allowed her solitude and gave her the chance to accept the choices she made. She knew they were the best for all parties, and she wouldn’t regret them. Keeping quiet about Ashlyn’s paternity had been her only option at the time, but the time for honesty was upon her. Like the strong person she was, Ava stood on the swaying dock and made the decision to come clean with Jace at the next possible opportunity. Noting a towel on a pillar, Ava stopped to wipe her feet. When she finished, she’d taken a few steps before she noticed she hadn’t been alone like she thought. Jace sat in the captain’s chair of his boat with a bottle of bourbon in one hand and a smile on his drunken face.
****
Hands on her hips, Ava demanded, “What are you doing?”
“Getting drunk under the stars, want to join me?”
Slurred speech from a drunk was so unattractive. “No, I think you should join me.”
“All right, but I don’t know how good I’m going to be. I’m pretty wasted.” Standing on unsteady legs proved harder while in a floating object, and Jace’s body jerked forward with the tilt of the boat.
With a less than graceful stumble, Ava quickly climbed over the side of the vessel that was tipping with Jace’s jerky movements; Ava grasped Jace’s arm just as he tipped closer to the side of the boat. Slipping his arm around her waist, she settled him back on the chair.
His movements were so fast Ava didn’t know how it happened, but she was now being cradled, yet again, on Jace’s lap. “You have to stop holding me like a child. I’m a woman.”
“Don’t worry, I can definitely tell you’re all woman.” Roaming hands started on her thighs and moved across her backside, before sneaking up the back of her shirt. “Damn, woman, have I told you how much I want you? I even dreamed about taking you over and over last night.”
“Come on, Jace, let’s get you inside.”
“Hell yeah, that’s how I want you to talk to me, tell me how you want me inside you.”
“I meant, let’s get you in the house.”
“I know what you meant. I’m not that drunk.” The loss of his body heat as he sat her in the seat beside him made Ava shiver. Before she could protest, he removed his jacket and placed it across her shoulders.
Bundled in the fleece jacket, she sat in the swaying vessel enjoying the view. She didn’t know if it was the isolation the boat allowed or the security of knowing they could trust each other, but the night elicited confessions.
“My father called me.” The angry way he said “father” told Ava he wasn’t referring to John Coolidge. “He wants to meet with me.”
Ava took a moment to process the shock of his statement before responding. “What do you want?”
“To tell him to go to hell and to leave me alone, but I don’t think it’s the smartest move.” Titling the bottle to his lips, Ava watched him drink deeply. The moonlight cast shadows she knew hid the hurt on his face.
“He called this evening on my business number. I went into my office after I finished working out to check my messages, hoping something had changed with the paternity suit. Normally I wouldn’t have answered, but I happened to be sitting in my office when the phone rang. I didn’t check the caller ID; he called from an unlisted number. Fuck, I don’t even know how he got my number.” Running his hand through his hair, Jace tilted his head toward the stars that scattered the sky.
“Cal Johnson. That’s his name. Did you know that?”
“No.” Ava flinched at the harsh way Jace said his name. She would have bet any amount of money this had been the first time he’d heard that name.
When he let out a stifled laugh, she knew he was hurting. She reached across the small opening and rested her hand on his forearm.
“Mom never even told me his name. My birth certificate says C. Johnson. She didn’t even put down his age.” Jace stared off into the blackness that settled around the water. “I always wondered what he would be like. Don’t get me wrong, my real dad is great, but I just always wanted to know what the sperm donor would think of me.”
“You always talk about not wanting to be like him. I figured you wouldn’t want to meet him.”
“I don’t want to meet him, but he said if I don’t, he’ll go to the press about how my mom kept him away. That is such bullshit. He walked because a fucking baseball was more important than his own child.” Jace tilted the bottle and took another long drink from bourbon bottle. “He knew all about Felicia and her accusations, things he shouldn’t have known. He said it was just like his story, and if I want to keep this perfect public image, I needed to make things right with him. He wants money. Apparently, baseball was not lucrative, and he is willing to ruin my parents’ and my reputations for money. I can’t let him do that to my parents.” When he swiveled the chair so he was facing the opposite direction, Ava knew what she had to do.