Authors: Lilly Wilde
Aiden had left several sweeping spaces in my life and one of those vacancies had been filled with Kellan. I often wondered if I were using Kellan as a buffer between myself and Aiden. As badly as I didn’t want to believe I’d treat Kellan or anyone that way, I knew that I wasn’t on the same page as he was. Did that mean I should back away? Even if the answer was yes, I knew that I wouldn’t. I didn’t want to. I really liked him and I felt at ease with him … it was relaxed, it was natural.
Kellan lived in New York and would be flying home tomorrow. We’d planned to meet for dinner this evening and despite my initial reservations about his visit, I was looking forward to it.
My lunch with Kellan hadn’t started so well but it eventually evened out, revealing the comfort I could experience when my mind was free from thoughts of Aiden. At work, of course, Aiden was on my mind to a certain degree; but that was to be expected because in a sense he
was
RPH. I did manage to escape when I was in a meeting or working on a new project. At home, he was there too and not just because of the grand piano that captured my attention every day but because he was the only lover that had been to my home.
Lover?
That sounded wrong, even in my head. Something I never thought I would have. Something I never wanted but that is who he ultimately became. Looking back on everything, it was as though I’d been a sex-crazed teenager, full of hormones, ignoring obvious red flags. Why hadn’t I inquired more about Aiden’s past? I’d never had a reason to dig into anyone’s past for personal reasons before, which was likely the reason I didn’t think to take a closer look at Aiden’s. Actually the fact that all of this constituted a
first
time
was even more reason to have checked. Would it have changed anything though? He’d said he wouldn’t have stood a chance with me? Was that true?
I was looking forward to spending the evening with one man but I was driving home thinking about the other. Aiden had taken up residence in my head and he wasn’t leaving anytime soon. I sighed as that truth sat in. It wasn’t as if I didn’t know it; I just didn’t want to admit it. Just like I didn’t want to admit that I missed him. But I did – I missed him every single day. I wanted to forget him but I knew that would never happen and a change of jobs wouldn’t change that so it was really pointless to even consider leaving RPH.
I loved RPH and I honestly didn’t want to resign because of issues with my boss. Although I’d been pressured to take the job, I was happy and excited about my new position. I couldn’t have asked for a better transition than what I’d experienced as I took on my new position as CEO. There had been little to no resistance in the new hierarchal structure. I don’t quite know if I had expected any but I was pleased all the same. I had hoped that Aiden would back off and allow me to truly appreciate my new role without his interruptions and finagling; so far that hadn’t been the case, so I couldn’t help but wonder what was next.
The doorman greeted me as I walked into my building. “Hello Miss Cason,” he said.
“Hello Silas,” I replied. Silas was one of the building’s front desk attendants who also served as a doorman as the need arose. I walked past him to the elevator, the doors opening just as I approached and a couple stepped out. I stepped in and pressed the button to my floor. I had just enough time before dinner to get in a quick work out. I entered my condo and dropped my purse on the sofa. I hurriedly undressed and tossed on some workout clothes and headed downstairs. I had a quick run on the treadmill followed by some time on the elliptical. The music was blaring; the upbeat tempos pulling me in as they pushed everything else to the background. Music was my therapy and I was relying on it more and more as of late. It was an escape from the memories, even if only for a short time. As for the long haul, I knew the memories would fade but they simply weren’t fading fast enough.
*****
Kellan and I had started a second glass of wine and the sound of a Skype call interrupted our laughter. My only Skype callers were typically one of my family members, April or Kellan. I moved my mouse to awaken my laptop and saw that it was my mother.
“Hi, Mom,” I said, greeting her with a cheeky smile.
“Hello, Aria. How was your day?”
“It was okay.” I replied.
“Just okay? Is something wrong?” she asked.
“Not really. I’m not in complete agreement with my boss on a few things.” It killed me to think of Aiden that way. “But that’s typically the case for anyone working for
the man
,” I added, smiling. “But things will work out. How was your day?”
“Pretty great actually. I’m working on some gifts for you and your sisters for Christmas.”
“Already? You’re getting a great head start,” I said.
“Well, I think I should’ve started sooner because I actually don’t know what I’m doing. I’m attending a quilting class.”
“Wow! You’re making quilts for us?” I asked.
“Yes, and I wanted it to be a surprise but since I need to get more information on your favorite colors and such, I needed to check in with you,” she said.
“That sounds amazing. I can’t wait to see it.”
I totally forgot Kellan was sitting next to me until he grabbed a strand of my hair. “I’m being rude, Mom. My friend, Kellan is here,” I said, turning the monitor to include him.
“Hello Kellan,” Mom said.
“Hello, how are you?” he asked.
“I’m well. This is a special treat. I rarely meet any of Aria’s friends,” she mused.
I rolled my eyes as I thought about why she’d never had a chance to meet any of my friends. For one, she was never in any capacity to meet any of my friends until very recently and two … I didn’t have any friends, except April.
The intercom buzzed. It had to be the food delivery. Kellan and I had decided to skip the restaurant and stay in for dinner. It was more my idea than his, I foolishly hoped that I could introduce my home to new memories that would flush out the others somewhat faster. I told Mom I’d be right back and left Kellan to speak with her. I made the offer to treat us to dinner to which Kellan refused but he gave in when I suggested he take care of the tip. I paid the delivery guy and placed the food in the kitchen and headed back to the sitting room.
Kellan’s laughter caught me by surprise as I entered the room. I could hear Mom laughing too. I wondered what that was all about.
“That was dinner,” I said, looking at Kellan and then at the monitor. “So what did I miss?” I asked.
“Nothing that you don’t already know,” Mom replied. “I was telling Kellan about your first school play, you know the one where you had the hiccups.” I didn’t respond. I wanted to smile and not place a damper on the moment but this flashback was of a time when we were all together as a family and while I was making great efforts to reconnect with Mom and my sisters, I hadn’t yet opened the door to the room that included my dad.
I looked over at Kellan who was still grinning.
“You two are about to have dinner so I’ll check in with you later ... more than likely tomorrow because I really want to get started on the quilt swatches.”
“Okay Mom, but did you want anything else?” I asked.
“No, I just wanted to see your face and hear your voice. I love you, Aria.”
“I love you too, Mom.”
“It was nice talking to and meeting you, Kellan,” she added.
“It was nice meeting you too, Mrs. Cason,” Kellan replied.
“It’s Costanzo. Her last name is Costanzo,” I blurted out. My last name was different because I changed my last name to Mom’s maiden name before I graduated from college. I didn’t want my dad’s name to follow me around for the length of my career … another attempt to distance myself from him and my memories.
“Sorry about that, Mrs. Costanzo,” he corrected.
“Kellan, it’s nothing to apologize for; it’s a logical mistake,” Mom said.
“Goodnight you two. Enjoy your dinner,” she said.
“Thanks, Mom. Goodnight.”
The Skype call disconnected.
“Your mom seems nice,” he said.
“Yeah, she’s great,” I said, smiling at him.
“I’m glad I had a chance to meet her. Virtually anyway,” he said.
“So am I,” I replied.
“I’m starved,” Kellan said, reaching for my hand.
“Me too,” I replied, as we headed toward the kitchen.
“Why don’t you have a seat while I prepare our plates?”
“Do you need any help?” he asked.
“No. I think I have what it takes to take the food from the bags and scoop some into our plates,” I replied smiling.
“Are you sure? From what I hear, that can be kind of tricky.”
“I think I recall reading that someplace myself, but I’m up for the challenge.” I regretted those words as soon as they escaped my lips. Talks of being
up for challenges
… those were
his
words. It seemed that no matter what I did or who I was with, Aiden was there with me.
Kellan and I talked over dinner about his family and his job. He wanted to plan a trip with April and Blaine to Barbados. I wasn’t sure I was ready for that and told him I would have to look at my schedule.
The night ended much too quickly. We said our goodbyes. It was awkward when he placed his lips on mine. They weren’t Aiden’s lips. I pulled away but I hoped I did so in a way that didn’t offend him. I didn’t know what was happening with Kellan but
something
was happening, although it was more for him than it was for me.
He’d be in Boston next month at the time of the Raine Industries charity event for the American Academy of Arts and Sciences.
He had offered to escort me and I agreed before considering the possible problems. If Aiden attended the event and saw me on Kellan’s arm, I didn’t know how that would turn out. Not only that, how would I react to seeing Aiden enter with a woman on his arm?
I was relieved to hear that Aiden would be heading to Los Angeles tomorrow afternoon and wasn’t scheduled to return to RPH any time in the foreseeable future. His absence would allow me to relax and maintain focus on my new proposal. I had back-to-back meetings all morning to fast-track research on the project. I checked my phone as I headed back to my office. I had felt the vibrations of either texts or calls but failed to check until now. I was much too busy to schedule a full lunch, so today and the next few days actually, would consist of working lunches. I checked my email and saw a message from Aiden. Although I was sure he wouldn’t send an email that was of a personal nature on RPH’s server, I hesitated to open it. I double-clicked and braced myself.
Aria,
I’ll be in Los Angeles for the next several days. I’ll be traveling to New York afterwards and from there to Chicago. Brooklyn is coordinating my schedule to accommodate my attendance to the Raine Industries sponsored event for the American Academy of Arts and Sciences
. In the off chance I’m unable to attend, I would like for you to serve as the keynote speaker. There are a few important mentions I would like for you to include in the speech; please see the attachment.
This would be an excellent opportunity for your first public appearance as the new Raine Publishing House CEO. Should you have any questions, please contact either myself or Brooklyn.
Regards,
Aiden W. Raine
Chief Executive Officer
Raine Industries
875 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, IL 60611
Website
:
www.ri.com
Email
:
[email protected]
Email
:
[email protected]
Maybe I’d jumped to the wrong conclusion about the flowers and the note yesterday. Could they have been an apology for the kiss?
I never did read his note. I reached for my purse and pulled it out. I attempted to remove the wrinkles before opening it, an obvious delay tactic. I looked at it for a moment longer, finally deciding that I didn’t want to read it now. Maybe I would read it after my workout this evening. The endorphins would enable me to swallow whatever it was much easier. I shoved it back into my purse as Raina entered with my lunch.
“Thank you Raina,” I said.
“You’re welcome. Do you need anything else?” she asked.
“No, this will about do it.”
She smiled and walked out of the office. I needed to do something special for her. I reached for my phone to enter a reminder and saw that Mom had texted about the quilts. I entered the reminder for Raina’s gift and quickly ate lunch so that I would have time to call Mom.
“Tell me more about Kellan,” she said.
“Not much to tell, he’s a great guy and we’re getting to know each other,” I said. It was weird talking to her about a guy. Talking about guys was undoubtedly common place for most moms and daughters but other than speaking with her about Aiden, this was a first for me.
“I like him. Very handsome but I don’t know if he’s the one.”
“Mom I’m not looking for
the one
. He’s just a good friend. Besides, how can you tell from just one meeting and a conversation that lasted all of five minutes?”
“A mother knows these things Aria,” she replied, as though it was fact.
“Well you can put your sixth sense back in your box of mom tricks because he and I are just friends and I really like him and that’s that.”
“Are you sure that’s all it is?” she asked.
“I think so … but there are times when I’m not sure what I want with him. It feels very natural with him. It did from the moment that we met.”
“Just take your time and make sure it feels right. If it doesn’t, don’t lead him on Aria.”
“Mom, I wouldn’t do that.” Would I? Is that what I’ve been doing? There was that kiss and the discussion of a trip to Barbados. But that was just as friends … right?
“Are you still at work?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“I don’t want to keep you. I’m headed to the fabric store this afternoon so give me the rundown on your favorite colors, patterns, hobbies … basically anything you like that I could add to the quilt.”
“How about I text you? Then you can have it all on your phone?”
“That’s a good idea. But do it now Aria.”
Pushy much? “Okay Mom,” I said, laughing.
“Okay. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I pressed end and started on the text. She was definitely becoming more and more like the mom I remembered. I really hadn’t thought much about my favorite things enough to compile a list. I needed to hurry before she called back. I thought for a few moments and sent her a short list. I was really excited to see the finished product. I wondered if I should go with hand-made gifts too. I hastily decided that I would … well, I would at least try.
I started prepping for my 2 o’clock meeting with the IT and marketing teams. Raina popped in to review some other pressing matters before they arrived. Once we’d finished, she placed portfolios at each attendees’ seat. I was very excited about the feasibility of my new project. I only needed Aiden to give the thumbs-up so that we could move full-speed ahead in preparation of launching it next quarter. It would’ve been great to work on a project like this with him. We’d worked really well together when we were at RPH under different circumstances. I kicked myself for going there but it was true nonetheless.
*****
“Dane Patrick is on line two Miss Cason.”
I stopped short. It had been weeks since he was at my office. I had hoped it was because his predicament with his wife had been rectified. Why was he calling me now?
“Aria Cason,” I said, speaking into the receiver.
“Hello beautiful,” he said.
“What do you want?” I asked.
“Why so rude? I don’t recall your being this way in Venezuela.”
“I don’t care to revisit anything that occurred on that trip. Haven’t I made that clear?”
“Crystal.”
“Then tell me the purpose of this very unexpected unpleasantness,” I said.
“If I were more of the sensitive type, my ego would be crushed,” he replied.
“Dane, you have thirty seconds before I hang up.”
“It’s about Tiffany, my soon to be ex-wife.”
“I don’t believe that’s any of my concern,” I said.
“Unfortunately it is.”
“How so?” I asked.
“She’s filed for divorce with grounds of adultery and she’s seeking a vast abundance of my assets. Assets she doesn’t deserve but will receive if she can prove anything.”
“And this concerns me how?”
“You know how Aria. I know she’s been in contact with April. I also know that she plans to speak with you.”
“As I’ve said, this has nothing to do with me so please keep me out of it!”
“And again, you’re incorrect. She needs someone to substantiate her claims and you, unfortunately, are that someone,” he replied.
“Dane, surely there is something you can do to keep this quiet.”
“There’s only one thing that will make this go away and that’s money. And I don’t intend to just give her everything that I’ve earned.”
“Okay, what exactly are you saying?” I asked.
“You need to tell her that nothing happened between us. Corroborate my story.”
“The hell I will. I’m contacting my lawyer; I don’t intend on being a part of this shit.”
I glanced up to see Aiden standing in my door. Fuck. Had he heard my conversation? He squinted as he studied me. Dane was mumbling something about a subpoena but I was no longer listening. Aiden didn’t say anything; he simply turned and walked away.
“Dane, you can’t keep bringing this shit to my job,” I whispered into the receiver.
“If you give them what they want, you may not have that job much longer, so we need to do whatever’s necessary to protect ourselves.”
“I need to contact my attorney and figure a way out of this crap. In the meantime, give me your contact information and I’ll contact you, not the other way around.”
After adding Dane’s information into my phone, I told him I would call him in a few days after I’d met with my attorney.
I hung up and walked out of my office. I was heading down the hall as I sent a quick text to April updating her on the latest and asking if she’d heard from Dane’s wife.
I wasn’t looking where I was going and bumped into Aiden, dropping my phone.
“Note to self. Don’t text and walk,” I said, as he passed the phone back to me.
“Everything okay?” Aiden asked.
“Yes, why wouldn’t it be?” I asked.
“I don’t know. You tell me. Who was on that call?”
“That’s none of your business Aiden.” I replied, and moved past him in search of Raina.
*****
I had a few more minutes before my meeting. I called April since she hadn’t returned my text.
She answered on the third ring. “Hello.”
“Hi, April. Did you get my text?”
“Yes, I was planning to call you later,” she replied.
“Are you okay? You don’t sound like yourself?”
“Yes, I’m fine. What’s up?”
“It can wait. Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?”
“Aria, it’s nothing I can’t handle.”
“Well you can tell me anyway.”
She sighed. “It’s Blaine.”
“I thought things were going well with you two,” I said, confused.
“They were until his girlfriend appeared.”
“Girlfriend? I didn’t think he was dating anyone.”
“They were having issues when he and I met so she never came up in our conversations. Things sort of just grew into something with us. Then his girlfriend … well you know how it is when the other person senses that you’re no longer interested ...”
“So she reached out to try to fix things with him when she saw he was slipping away. So what does that mean for the two of you?”
“It means we’re pretty much done. He wants us to remain friends but he’s trying to work things out with her.”
“What the fuck?”
“I know right. They’d been in a relationship for three years so I can understand that he wanted to exhaust every effort before throwing in the towel.”
“I’m sorry April.”
“Thanks but no harm; no foul. It was only a couple of months and knowing me, I would have found a way to end it anyway.”