Touching the Surface (21 page)

I turned to Mel and the lightbulb went off. She’d been protecting Oliver, didn’t want him exposed to my dark and hurtful headspace. She’d given me some time to get myself together without causing him further harm. I mouthed a thank-you over Oliver’s shoulder and she winked back.

But I still needed to fix things with Oliver. “It broke my heart to think that you’d stopped loving me,” I whispered. He’d put my feet back down on the floor, but I was still wrapped in his arms.

Oliver met my gaze and said, “I was out of line.”

“No, you had a valid point, and I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m the one who’s sorry. Do you think we could talk about it”—he cleared his throat—“someplace a little more private?”

When he said that, I realized that I’d been leaning closer and closer to him. Embarrassing heat flooded my face. The whole room was watching like we were forty-seven minutes into a juicy soap opera. I shook my head to clear it, but Oliver wasn’t letting go. “I still love you, Elliot,” he said.

Clap, clap, clap.
David’s sausagelike fingers slapped against each other. I whipped around to face him.

“I heard a rumor that you were quite the little actress in your last life. Seems your skill has carried over to the afterlife,”
David jeered. His features were more hostile than I’d ever seen. “What are you doing here, Miss Turner?” I didn’t know if he was questioning why I’d been crouched outside Mel’s class or my qualifications for being in the afterlife. My head was spinning and suddenly it didn’t matter.

“I have a question for you, too,” I said. “Why would someone who works here need to be in his room, Delving by himself, and calling for his mommy?” The words were ugly, but I couldn’t stop them from pouring out. All my fear and worry over Trevor had found a place to land. All the horror of Julia’s last Delve rushed out of me, and the confusion I’d unexpectedly just felt about Oliver was the last bit of zing I needed to launch the attack. Besides, he’d started it. David was a sizable target and I owed him.

David’s flesh to be your Passengerthg beforey face went pale and he took a step back. I should have been grateful and backed off too, but a tidal wave of pent-up frustration and anger had been unleashed and I no longer had control of it.

“I’VE HAD ENOUGH!” I bellowed, moving deliberately toward him. I flew in for the kill. “I cannot fathom why anyone would have you, YOU, here at the Obmil as a guide, as a mentor.”

David backed into the hallway, mouth agape and speechless, for once.

“Leave me alone and mifan a minute l

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the third
time
lacks charm

My head was spinning. David was a Third Timer? I paused at the realization . . . that’s what Mel had been talking about. Freddie was David’s Passenger. That explained why he was watching over David the other day. Mel had intended to say something else about Freddie earlier, but David had interrupted. Now it was all coming together. He clearly didn’t want anyone to know that he was a Third Timer. He had a lot of nerve, making me feel bad when I arrived at the Obmil again. I could feel my temper beginning to flare.

“Elliot!” From Mel’s tone, it must not have been the first time she’d called out my name.

“What?” I said, startled to be taken away from my internal detective work. Things were finally starting to make a little sense.

Mel waggled her pen back and forth. “What happened to make Trevor run away?”

I shivered, trying to consolidate what felt like a lifetime into a few brief sentences.

“I was beginning to believe that I ended up here at the Obmil because I killed myself.” I dropped my gaze, avoiding her. “We Delved and I figured it out. I fell accidentally, off a cliff and . . .” Oliver walked back over to where we were standing.

“And?” Mel wanted to know.

I wanted to say that Trevor had followed me into the afterlife on purpose, that he was the one who’d committed suicide. I should tell her that he was terrified of going to hell, but I remembered how frightening the possibility had been, and I couldn’t say it out loud. I was afraid of making it true.

“He left me!” Everything frozen inside me blazed with a fire that had finally sparked. I hadn’t realized how furious I was with him. I loved him and he’d left me. He hadn’t trusted me enough to help him. I blew on the flames of my anger. It was easier to deal with this emotion than with the sickening fear that something had gone terribly wrong and I couldn’t fix it.

He was the one who’d talked me into taking that final Delve. I knew what his fear felt like—it had been my own. A tear slipped past my defenses. I didn’t know how long I had left
to be with him, to love him. If our deepest fears were true, he was wasting the time we did have together.

Mel let out a soft breath. It felt like sympathy.

“We need to talk, Elliot. I need to explain some things to you, but right now I must try to find Trevor. Will you stay here with Oliver?”

“No way. I’m going with you.” What on earth was she thinking?

Oliver swallowed and his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “I know you want to go after him, but I need to talk to you first.” Oliver watched me with a Trevor-like intensity. I was torn. Oliver and I were finally back on the right foot. If I left I’d have blown him off for Trevor once again. I tugged on a cuticle that I’d been too busy to gnaw at before. Time rushed past me.

I eyed Mel in defeat. “He was leaving the lake, heading up into the tree line, on the opposite side of where the eagles nest.”

“I can’t believe he left you like that.” Oliver’s caustic tone sent my internal compass spinning.

“Any place else he might be?” Mel asked.

“We created a rock outcrop that hangs over the lake, but I don’t think he’ll want to go back there.” I couldn’t help remembering that moment in his arms when we pushed off the edge.
It was a single moment of optimism, hanging between life and death. It seemed that perfection only existed on the edge of a knife, a place too fragile and sharp to find balance for more than an instant. Oliver grabbed my hand.

“Mel?” I had no idea what to ask, but I couldn’t stop myself from wanting more.

“Later, Elliot. Go with Oliver.” Mel turned quickly and headed out the door.

•  •  •

“I want to go home.” Oliver’s words wandered out in front of us on the trail and interrupted my thoughts.

“We’re headed back to the Haven right now,” I said, bumping my shoulder against his arm as we bounced over the packed earth.

“I miss my mom. I miss Abby, too, and my dad. But I really, really miss my mom.”

I stopped abruptly, hearing the emotion before I could see it running down his face.

The woods were empty. Never before had the Obmil felt like such a void. I wrapped my arms around him, muffling his sobs against my shoulder. He was always so put together, so purposeful in everything he did. I hadn’t known. Shame on me, for once again forgetting to consider beyond myself. I squeezed him tighter and we cried. It felt as if all the words and all the air had been sucked out of existence.

Eventually, we could both breathe again. I smoothed his blond curls, wondering if I would be able to say the right thing.

“Oliver?”

His lip trembled as he stared at me. This was a chance to make him feel better. Thinking that maybe I could give him something for a change gave me the courage to continue.

“I suspect that there is always
missing
that happens. You don’t really love someone unless you miss them.”

“I know—in my head at least.” Oliver tapped his finger to his temple. “But a part of me”—he slid his finger down to rest on his heart—“kind of wonders why, if everyone is so sad, we just don’t stay together? Over and over, we die so we can start again. What’s the point of the pain—of the missing?”

“Damn, I wish I knew the answer to that.” It was killing me to see him so vulnerable—so un–golden boy. I wasn’t used to this. “I don’t know, but I can take a guess. I think that no one would know how great being together feels, until they knew what being apart feels like too.”

Oliver to be your PassengerMelhibI ’s eyes darkened like a storm rolling in. “Do you miss your mom?”

I nodded. “I miss a lot of people.” Julia popped into my head, MIA from my last life, but now I wasn’t so sure that things between us were an easy black and white. Stuff with Julia seemed just as gray as the pallor of her skin in that last
Delve. Then I pictured the frozen face of Trevor, a mask about to crumble. God, I missed him. Something must have shown in the expression on my face because Oliver grabbed my face between his hands and pressed his lips against mine. The kiss was slow and warm and I melted into his arms, once again using him as my soft place to fall. I could have stayed, wrapped up in Oliver for all of eternity—but . . .

Oliver broke away and kissed the tip of my nose, then moved on to the space between my eyes and then my forehead. I glanced up at him, not sure what I was going to see on his face.

“It was nice, wasn’t it?”

Oh boy.

“But not a single firework. Same for you?” He gave me a sheepish grin.

“Yeah. I mean, no. No fireworks,” I mumbled. “Kind of cozy and warm.”

Oliver hooted. “Yeah, cozy is exactly how a guy wants to be described when kissing a girl.”

I shook my head. “You knew it was going to be that way, didn’t you?” I asked.

“I kinda figured.” He shrugged. “I don’t know, I just thought we should probably try it—just to be sure. Even though it isn’t
that way
between us, I’ll admit it, it irks me when you have Trevor written all over your face.”

“But I—”

“Nah, you don’t have to explain. It’s been that way since the moment I saw you. We’re like brother and sister.” He blushed. “Besides, if Trevor and I both felt like that about you, we’d have even more to fight over.”

I gave him a giant hug. “About you and Trevor—”

“Hey, listen,” Oliver interrupted. “We’re almost at the Haven. Walk the rest of the way with me and then you can go off and search for my butt-head brother.” He winked. “And just so you know—the way it is between you and me . . .” His finger flicked back and forth between us. “The Passenger thing, and me dying. I wouldn’t change a thing. I love you.”

I grabbed his hand in mine, tugging him down the path. I looked at him over my shoulder, hoping he could see how much I meant it. “I love you, too.”

•  •  •

As we walked through the front door of the Haven, I kept an eye out for David. Luckily, he was nowhere in sight, but Freddie was nursing a mug of coffee at the front desk while sorting through a large pile of keys.

I plopped my elbows on the desk. Oliver immediately began to help Freddie with his task.

I watched how they worked together intuitively, organizing things into groups that I couldn’t figure out the pattern for.
“You guys are freaky in your ability to communicate wordlessly.” Freddie gave a two-finger salute and Oliver stood up straight.

“It takes special skill to pull off a job like this.” Freddie pretended to be serious. want to go back theret.hi

“The kind of job only a Passenger could do?” I asked pointedly.

“Well, now that you mention it, Passengers do tend to be really good at unlocking things.” Freddie stared me in the face. “So, you figured out that I don’t work here, love.” He pulled off his cap and put it right back on.

“You could have told me you were a Passenger.” I tried to keep from sounding hurt, but when I said it out loud, I realized I was tired of not knowing things.

“It wasn’t your business, Elliot, but even if it had been, I wouldn’t have told you anyway.”

“Why not?” I pouted.

“The waters. No need to muddy up the waters. You had enough stuff floating around to figure out. Sometimes it’s best to let things settle, then you get to them when you get to them.” Freddie stopped fiddling with the keys and looked at Oliver. “Son, I forgot all about it, but before we head out to the greenhouse, we’re going to have to take a run over to Miz Connolly’s room. She’s been having a little trouble with her bed again.”

“She could tell her grandson that her bed is not a trampoline,” Oliver said.

“And you know as well as I that she feels guilty enough about him being here—that ain’t gonna happen.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“What I need you to do is run down to the basement and grab my toolbox. If you’d be so kind.”

“I’ll get it right now.” Oliver strode around the desk and headed into Freddie’s office. He stopped short, turned, then bounded around and gave me a peck on the cheek.

“What was that for?” I asked, my fingers touching the warm spot, trying to keep it from disappearing.

“You’ll be gone before I get back.”

“How do you know?” I wrinkled my brow.

“I figure you’re not going to like what he’s going to teckers. They so

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