Traded for Love (21 page)

His eyes were so cold, so lifeless as he looked back at me. “I do love you. In a way.”

Everything around me grew blurry as my eyes overflowed. “Everything you say is a lie. Our entire marriage is a lie. I should have
known
. I mean
nothing
to you.”

“I didn't enjoy sending you to Stratford.”

“No, but you punished
me
for enjoying myself. You were jealous of him, but you're the one who sent me there. I don't know why I refused to see it then. How could I have been so blind?”

“Look, Stratford was a mistake. If I could take it back, I would.”

“Would you?” I growled. “You got exactly what you wanted. Then you took your anger out on me.” I swept away a fresh torrent of tears. “Why did you even marry me, Jack?”

“Regardless of whether you want to admit it or not, we
did
need each other.” He sat down nearby, but it only made me sick to see him get closer. “I needed an innocent, young wife who would stand beside me and make me look good.”

I collapsed into the seat, my face wet and hot, my entire body shaking with the shock. “You used me.”

“Perhaps. But you used me, too.”

“How!?” I shot back.

“Kim wanted the center. You needed a place to live. You wanted a lover in your life. That became
painfully
obvious after we met. You were for sale, Emily, and I bought you.”

I buried my face in my hands. “I'm not a
thing
!” I screamed. A deafening silence rang between us.

“Calm down.”

“I wasn't for sale, but you're right. I
did
let you buy me with your lies and your tricks. I cheapened myself, and let you take me in with your flashy possessions. I let you touch me. I let you fuck me. I let myself fall in love with you because I thought you were everything I could ever want. But I didn't ask to be lied to. I didn't ask to be fooled into being in a loveless marriage. We didn't need you. Kim would have found a way to open her own center. We would have been
fine
without you.”

“All that being said, and everything being on the table, you can't change the past, and neither can I. The most we can do is move on.”

I shook my head. “You can't move on toward
nothing
, Jack. We have no future. At this point, we can't even
build
one. We can't build when there's no foundation.”

“We
have
a foundation, Emily. Stand beside me on it until I win this campaign. After that, you can travel, go anywhere you want, as long as you stay married to me.”

“And I'm supposed to just be a slave to this
arrangement
?”

“You've were happy being a slave until I mentioned my affairs. You had no problem with following my orders.”

“I was in love!” I squeezed my eyes shut. “I'm still in love.”

“So, stay with me. Continue to be my slave.”

“Can't you understand? That would be torture for me: living with someone and pining away for them just to be … second best. Even if I found a lover it'd just be—”

“No lovers,” he interrupted.

“So I can't even
love
anybody else … I'm literally just for show.”

“If you go outside our marriage, and word gets out to the press that I can't control my household, it'll affect my chances at winning any future campaigns.” He was serious. I could tell by the look on his face that he was totally serious!

“No.” I pressed my aching eyes. “Give me a divorce.”

“Absolutely not.”

“You can't stop me from walking out!” I exclaimed.

“Maybe not, but if you do, you'll never see Katherine again.”

My heart stopped in my chest. “What?” I whimpered.

“Katherine will remain with me. You are free to go, but you will not be allowed to see her.”

“But she's
my
daughter!”

“She's my daughter, too. You signed a prenuptial agreement. And with you not having a job, or a place to live, I
will
get custody. I'll hire an army of lawyers. The most you'll get to do is see her for a few hours each week, and I'll do everything in my power to make sure even
that
doesn't happen.”

Rocked beyond belief, I could do little more than stare at him. “You're willing to tear me from my only child for your
executive county seat
?”

“Well, I was going to surprise you, but you might as well know now. I'll be running for senator next. After that, it's very likely that I'll run for president. My chances are already good.”

“God help this country if a bastard like you gets that job.” I sucked a breath into my sticky lungs. My face fell in resignation. My muscles went slack. “Fine. I'll stay.”

“Don't look so down about it,” he said. “You're getting a chance to be the first lady one day.”

“All I ever wanted was love. I never wanted any of that. I didn't care about your money, not really. It was nice, but I didn't care.” The flow of my tears began to ebb, but the anger in my heart was just as raw as ever. “Is that who Julia was?”

“Until last night, yes. I didn't think you'd figure it out.”

“She sent me an email, months ago.” I wiped my nose on the collar of my already-soaked shirt. “She said I didn't know you.” I kept my eyes fixed on the carpet. “She was so right.”

“You knew me. From the moment you opened that email, you knew what I'd done. You just chose to believe the best about me.”

“I suspected, but I didn't know for sure.” My head ached, and I attempted to rub away the pain.

“Now you do.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “You are important to me, Emily. I know you don't believe it now, but what I did behind your back has nothing to do with how I feel about you. I hope that despite what's happened we can be friends, and even lovers again.”

“What makes you think I ever want you to touch me again?” I spat.

“Because you love me; because I'm your husband; because without my blessing, no one will ever touch you again.” In my peripheral vision, my deceitful husband stood up and buttoned his coat. “I think we understand each other better now. It feels surprisingly good to tell the truth.”

My eyelids slid closed. “Unless the truth destroys your life.”

“Your life isn't destroyed, Emily. Think of this as … a new beginning.” He turned and left the library, left
me
… sitting there … feeling more alone than I'd ever felt in my life.

(Jack – Later that Day)

Convincing her to go with me to the club would have to wait. She was being forced to absorb a lot. It'd be too much at this point to try and convince her to go with me. Plus, I imagined Drake needed time to calm down.

As I sat in a board meeting, my thoughts floated to Chastity. I'd made her sick. I still didn't understand how.

Drake had mentioned something about “aftercare”. He'd called me a child with a whip. Just
thinking
those words made me chew the inside of my cheek.
Asshole
.

Apparently, there were things I didn't know about being a Dom. Before Chastity, I'd simply acted on instinct. Strength and audacity were in my nature. Being a Dom was just an extension of who I was.

The implication that I didn't know something about being a Dom hurt my pride. It was like he'd told me I didn't know
myself
.

But I lived with who I was every moment of every day.

I knew who Jack Duncan was: the cold-hearted user who couldn't love, the man who broke women's hearts just because he could.

Did I want pity, though?

Hell no.

There were reasons for my way of thinking.

There were reasons for the way I operated.

On more than a few occasions, my precautions had saved me from … well … destruction.

“Mr. Duncan?”

I looked up from the conference table at the executive giving the presentation. “Yes?”

“I was just saying that we met our goals for this quarter.”

“Great.” I smiled. “Good to hear. Could you do me a favor and make sure I have these reports?” I stood up and the other board members were unsettled by my sudden movement.

The presenter moistened his lips and averted his gaze. “Sir.”

“What? What's wrong?”

“They're in your hand, sir.” He looked like he was about to break a sweat any second.

“Oh.” I looked at the folder I held in my left hand. It was stacked over my iPad. “You're right.” I smiled. “I'm sorry. I have a lot on my mind this afternoon. “Your name, uh, seems to have slipped my mind.”

“Quincy, sir. Quincy Harper.” His forehead was practically glistening.

“Good job today,” I said.

Harper nodded, a small smile breaking on his face.

“Thank you, gentlemen, for your time. I have an appointment to get to, but I will see you all at the company retreat.”

The other men at the table nodded happily.

My assistant, Reuben, kept up with me as I walked back to my corporate office. “Make sure Harper gets a five-percent raise when his yearly review comes up.”

“Are you sure, Mr. Duncan?”

“I never say anything I'm not sure about,” I reminded him.

“Noted.” He looked down at his phone, which doubled as his planner. “You have a meeting with Mr. Stratford and a few party lobbyists in a half an hour.”

We entered my corner office. “Okay,” I said with a sigh, setting my iPad down with my portfolio.

“Something … on your mind?” Reuben asked.

“Not something. Someone.” I chuckled and sat down in my chair.

Reuben gave me a toothy grin. “Your wife?”

I rested my chin on my hand. “My wife.” I scratched my temple. “Yeah.”

“Worse things to think about than that I'd imagine.” He cleared his throat. “Since you have some time before your meeting with Mr. Stratford, do you want to have some lunch? I can pick something up for you.” He tapped around on his phone.

I wondered what Chastity was eating for lunch. If I had the chance, I'd sweep her off her feet, take her somewhere really expensive, pamper her.

When I closed my eyes, I could smell the sugar from the bakery. That sweet memory fed into the next, bringing back the scent of her skin: perfume, body wash with hints of vanilla. God, just the thought of her
smell
aroused me. A little shiver ran down my spine.

That bakery. Drake owned it, so he probably worked there during the day. He and Chastity knew each other well, so she had to at least
visit
him at work from time to time.
Someone
had to know where I could find her, or at least how I could pass a message on to her. But how could I draw him away from the bakery long enough to get in, get information, and get out?

Then it hit me like lightning. The company retreat.

“Reuben.”

“Yes, sir?”

“Who is the coordinator for the company retreat?”

“I think we outsourced a company to handle the arrangements.” Reuben tapped around furiously on his phone. “I don't seem to have that information on hand, but I can get it.”

“Fine.” I waved absentmindedly. “Get whoever it is on the phone and tell them to book a bakery called
Savage Sweets
to cater all the baked goods.”

“Savage … Sweets … ” He swiped around on his device.

“Pay them whatever they ask. If it's a matter of cost, up the budget.” I tapped the desk. “Make sure that whoever is in charge meets with the owner of the bakery tomorrow in the afternoon.”

With Drake out of the equation, finding out more about Chastity wouldn't be as difficult. I'd send her a message. Better yet, I'd send her a gift.

“Will do.” He slid his phone into his pocket. “Would you like some lunch now?”

I stood up and slid on my overcoat. “Before we do, I need to stop by Tiffany's.”

“Something for your wife?” Reuben asked with a grin.

I chuckled. “Right. For my wife.”

(Emily)

I wanted to tell Kim, but I knew that wasn't possible. She'd blame herself for my predicament, attributing my eagerness to marry Jack to her desire to run the center. She'd forget about the fact that she hadn't liked me being with him from the beginning.

I should have listened to you, Kim
.
You were right
.

My options were few, now. I considered running, and taking Katherine with me.

No
.
He'd find us
.

I had no money and barely any friends.

The prospects were so fucking twisted.

On one hand, I could be a senator's wife … or even first lady. I could have power, authority and influence. As long as I played pretend, he'd allow me to be with Katherine. He'd keep showering me with gifts. He'd continue to play house with me.

I'd have it all—at the price of never feeling true love again.

On the other hand, I could leave him, lose my daughter, and be with whoever I wanted.

It wasn't worth it. I'd do anything for Katherine, the least of which was giving up love.

I curled up in the library chair I'd been sitting in for hours. What was the point of going anywhere?

I never thought I'd spend my life stuck in a cage.

The worst part was, I was still in love with my jailer. I felt so insignificant against his stature, his money, his power. The key in his hand seemed so out of reach.

I'd handed the power over to him when I let him slip that ring on my finger.

I stared across the room at the diamond ornament he'd purchased for me. It'd felt wrong to wear it after he'd confessed to being unfaithful.

Every time I thought of his words, I got just a little sicker to my stomach. His gorgeous face haunted me. In my mind, his cold eyes looked down on me.

Long ago, I'd given myself to him willingly as a slave to his pleasure.

Now I was truly living my slavery.

And if I ever stepped out of bounds, I'd lose my baby.

She won't be a baby forever,
I reminded myself.
She's already almost two
.

My sentence would last another sixteen years. After that, I'd be free to see her whenever I wanted.

The thought made me ache for fresh air, so I stumbled over to the window and opened it.

A cool breeze floated in, caressed my raw cheeks. The world outside was insensible of the evil that had taken place earlier. Maybe being away from home as often as possible would help.