Trading Faces (26 page)

Hector snorted.

I looked down. I didn't even want to see what Emma's face looked like.

And then suddenly Tess spoke up.

“I liked your TV interview,” Tess said. “Both of you.
But Payton, you're a really impressive communicator.”

“Um, thanks?” I said. Emma grinned at me.

“That's the second great speech you've given,” Tess said. “First the one in Math, and now the one on TV.”

“Oh!” I said. “Thanks!”

“What do you mean, ‘great speech'?” Jazmine said dismissively. “She was just apologizing for playing tricks on all of us. Well, except me, of course, since I was the only one who noticed the obvious.”

Harsh
.

“Well.” Tess looked at Jazmine. “For one thing, I liked when Payton said that. I agree with that one hundred percent. Payton, can I have your cell number? If it's okay, I'd like to call you sometime soon.” She entered my phone number in as I told her the numbers.

Then Tess looked at Jazmine. Jazmine looked at Tess. Jazmine had a scowl on her face. Tess didn't flinch.

“Oooh!” Hector said. “A showdown! Let the drama begin!”

“Did someone say drama?” a loud voice boomed, making us all jump.

Mrs. Burkle!

“If there's drama around, I want it for the next edition of VOGS!” Mrs. Burkle said. “We need to keep our
audience interested. Keep up the excitement level after today's compelling show!”

Mrs. Burkle looked at Emma and me.

“I have an idea for next week for you two,” she said to me and Emma. “You can do a special report together, and—”

“Excuse me,” Jazmine said, in her sucking-up-to-teacher voice. “I don't mean to be disrespectful, but as Payton is not an honors student, she's ineligible to be involved with VOGS.”

I felt my face get red.

“What? Who makes these rules? That is outrageous!” Mrs. Burkle shouted. “Wait! I make these rules! Thus, I can change them! VOGS will now be open to all students. I will hold auditions to find the best dramatic talent!”

Really?

“Payton, consider your show today an audition!” Mrs. Burkle said. “And you have made it. Congratulations.”

“Really?” I said. “Oh, my gosh. That's so cool!”

“What?” Jazmine said. “You're opening it up to anyone? It should be exclusive!”

“We will exclude some persons!” said Mrs. Burkle. “Attitude will be considered during auditions. We will
see if you can check yours at the audition, Ms. James.”

“What?” Jazmine said. “
I
have to audition?”

“Look for the sign-up sheet,” Mrs. Burkle said.

Jazmine stomped away.

“Hector! Tess! History Club, now!” Jazmine said as she left. Then we heard her say, “Hector, stop laughing. It's
not
funny.” The three walked away.

My cell phone went off.

i think i'll try out 2. Maybe u can help me practice? U r really good. xo Tess

I smiled.

“Well, let's go,” I said.

“Did you see the look on Jazmine's face when Mrs. Burkle told her she had to audition?” Emma said. “Ha! That was classic. But that Tess seems nice. Wonder why she's always hanging around with Jazmine?”

“Maybe she didn't know she could make other friends,” I said. But maybe she could now. Like me. Hee. I smiled.

And then my smile froze.

“Pay-EMMA! I mean, EMMA!” someone yelled down the hallway.

It was Ox.

I watched Emma's face turn purple, then an odd shade of white.

“Excuse me,” I said quietly. I walked over to the other side of the hall to give them some privacy. Okay, no—actually, I still spied on them.

“I am so sorry—” Emma started to say, but Ox cut her off.

“Where have you been all day?” Ox said. “I was looking for you.”

“Er, oh,” Emma said. “Actually, whenever I saw you, I fled.”

“Don't you think I deserved an explanation?” Ox asked her.

“I know, I know—I'm so sorry,” Emma said. “I was so un-ox-like. I wasn't dependable or trustworthy, and not being honest with you was wrong. An ox is intelligent, and what I did was just dumb. So . . . I'm sorry.”

Hello? What is Emma doing?
I was about to break in and rescue her from geekiness, when I heard something unexpected.

Ox laughed.

“That was the most interesting apology I've ever heard,” Ox said. “You are not exactly normal, you know.”

We know, we know.

“I know,” Emma said miserably. “That's why I wanted to switch with Payton. She's more normal and popular and all that. I wanted to see what it was like. But I can't be Miss Popularity or Miss Fashion-Obsessed. I just have to be myself.”

“That's a relief,” Ox said.

“It is?” Emma asked.

“Yeah. I've spent years trying to avoid Sydney and all those popular girls,” Ox said. “Their conversations give me a headache. I'd rather not avoid you, too. So don't turn into that.”

Ooooh! Oooooh!

I tried to send Emma twin ESP messages.
He likes you! Don't just turn purple! Say something!!!

“I won't,” Emma squeaked.

Yes! YEEESS! Go, Emma! Go, Emma!

“Good,” Ox said. “Because I'd like to get to know Emma. Not the Emma-Payton hybrid. Just the real Emma.”

Eeeee! He wanted to get to know Emma better! What would happen next? Maybe they would . . .

KISS!!!

I held my breath and waited in suspense. . . .

“Speaking of hybrids,” Emma said, “did you know there are several kinds of bovine hybrids? For example, a yakow is a cross between a cow and a yak.”

Uh.

That wasn't a kiss! Emma? What the heck are you doing?

“Yeah!” Ox said. “And a cross between a bison and a cow is a beefalo. And heh, have you ever heard of a zeedonk?”

“A zebra and a donkey!” Emma cried.

Oh. My.

I guess this was a perfect match.

Clang!
The after-school warning bell!

Well, I hated to break up this romantic conversation, but . . .

“Ahem,” I said as I started down the hall. “Emma. We'd better get to detention.”

“Oh!” Emma snapped out of it. “Yes! Detention! Great!”

Oooh, boy. She had it bad.

“Yeah, I've got to go to pootball fractice,” he said. “I mean—football practice!”

Hee! Ox was all flustered too!

“So I'll see you . . . ,” Emma said. “Well, I guess I
won't see you at lunch anymore.”

“Not unless you guys are planning more switching,” Ox said.

“NO!” we both said.

“Then maybe I can see you at the football game Friday night, Emma,” Ox said. “And afterward we all go out for pizza. Want to come with me?”

Emma nodded, but then . . .

“Oh, no—I'm grounded. But I'll talk to my parents. They're pretty cool, once they calm down.”

“Well, if you can't get out, maybe we could have a phone date?” Ox asked. “After the game?”

“Okay!” Emma said.

Ox took off down the hall.

“Hey, Ox,” Emma called out to him. He turned around.

“Go, Geckos!” she said. I saw him laugh.

Emma walked casually over to me. As soon as Ox disappeared around the corner, we screamed and jumped all around.

AHHHH!!! EEEEEEEEEEeeeee!

“Emma and Ox! Sitting in a tree!” I sang. “Talking about H-I-B-R-I-D-S!”

“Actually, it's spelled H-Y-B-R-I-D-S,” Emma said.
“And hey! Were you spying on us?”

Oopsie.

“Maybe,” I confessed. “Okay, yes.”

“Well, at least you're honest about it,” Emma said.

“I'm only going to be honest from now on,” I pledged, “including about who I am. I'm Payton.”

“And I'm Emma,” Emma said. “We're never switching again!”

“That's right!” I agreed.

Emma and I held out our hands to do a TWIN-ky swear. But I didn't link pinkies.

“A TWIN-ky swear might be a little too . . . well . . . ,” I said. “I mean, we can never, ever break a TWIN-ky swear.”

“Yeah,” Emma said. “It might be a little extreme to swear it off forever. Not that we're ever going to trade places again, right?”

“Never! Ever!” I said.

And we meant it. Then. But stuff happens, right? I guess you should never say never.

Answers by Payton and Emma

10. Are you two twins?

Payton: Yes. (Duh, we look exactly alike.)

Emma: Actually, we're clones.

9. Why aren't you dressed alike?

P: Because . . . I have style? (Sorry, Emma. Kidding!)

E: I have more important things to think about besides clothes. (Sorry, Payton!)

8. Do you talk in a secret twin language?

P: Secret language? I can't understand Emma when she speaks English! My parents will be happy to tell you that she has a near-genius IQ. She's like a walking dictionary.

E: Ha. She can barely speak one language correctly. She thinks “yeesh” and “ew” are the most important words in the English language.

7. Do you ever switch places on your boyfriends?

P: Um, first we'd actually have to have boyfriends. Maybe this year? Please please please let me get a boyfriend this year! I think it's going to be a while for Emma. She turns purple and panics when she has to talk to a boy.

E: I do NOT! It's just that . . . I don't have time for a boyfriend. Yes, that's it. I'm too busy for boys. I'm going to sign up for Super Scientists Club, mathletics, school newspaper, piano, and Scrabble-lympics.

6. Do you ever forget which one you are?

P: Ew, no. Yeesh!

E: I don't forget anything. I have a near-photographic memory.

5. Which one of you is smarter?

P: See #8.

E: See #8.

4. If I smack you in the face, will your twin feel it?

P: Uh, I hope I never have to find out.

E: I'd rather not test that theory, thank you.

3. Which one of you is the evil twin?

P: Neither of us is evil—right, Emma?

E: Payton's not
really
evil. Just misguided by her peers and the media.

2. Do you guys read each other's minds?

P: Heck, no. And take back that last thing you said about me, Emma. Whatever it means.

E: No, we don't read each other's minds. I read books. She reads fashion magazines. (Ow, Payton, stop whacking me with that magazine!)

1. Do you like being an identical twin?

P: Most of the time, except when Emma attempts her lame-o put-downs.

E: Sorry, Payton, sometimes I just can't control myself. Ow! Stop whacking me. Yes, I do like it. Even with our differences, Payton and I are best friends.

P: Yes. BTFF. Best twin friends forever!!!!

Double thanks to:

The family: Robin Rozines, Amy Rozines, Greg Roy, Dave DeVillers, and Quinn DeVillers.

The Simon & Schuster crew: Mark McVeigh, Ellen Krieger, and Alyson Heller of Aladdin, as well as Rick Richter, Bethany Buck, Mara Anastas, Karin Paprocki, Paul Crichton and his publicity team, Mary McAveney, Lucille Rettino and the marketing team, and Wendy Rubin.

The agents: Mel Berger and The William Morris Agency, Alyssa Eisner Henkin and Trident Media Group.

The fashion crew: Q, Ilana, and the Dipietra designers.

And: Lisa Yee, Melissa Wiechmann, Daphne Chan, Kay Panabaker, The Colonie Town Library, and everyone who's ever mixed us up, giving us good stories for this book.