“What do you think, baby?” Selden asked, gently pressing Janey’s hand.
They were all looking at her again.
“I’m so happy . . . I think I’m going to
cry,
” Janey said.
“Right,” Richard said, after a brief pause, clapping Selden on the back. “What should we do next?”
“Oh, Richard,” Paula sighed. “Let them
absorb
. This is a huge step, buying a house.”
“They didn’t buy a house, they bought land,” Richard corrected her. “You mean let them
enjoy
. As soon as they start building, it’s all over.”
“We’ll have contractors, Dad,” Selden said.
“Pshaw,” Richard said, with a dismissive wave. “Remember when we built our house?” he asked his wife.
“When
I
built it, dear,” Paula said. “I couldn’t get
you
to do a thing, remember?” She turned to Janey. “I couldn’t even get his opinion on the kind of doorknobs he wanted.”
“I wasn’t exactly slacking off back then,” Richard said to Selden. “I was only working fifteen-hour days . . .”
“Are you sure you’re going to have time for this, Selden?” Paula asked.
“Janey will,” Selden said, squeezing her hand again. “She’s incredibly good at details. You should see what she goes through before she goes out at night . . .”
“Oh, I’m sure . . . ,” Paula said mildly.
Janey pulled her hand away. “That isn’t exactly true,” she snapped.
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“Huh?” Selden said, looking at her in confusion.
She got up and went into the bathroom. She stared at herself in the mirror, realizing that she’d suddenly become trapped in exactly the sort of existence she’d spent her whole life trying to avoid.
When she came out, they were watching a tape of the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in the living room. The lyrics “Baby don’t hurt me” were playing. “I hope you don’t mind,” Selden said, looking up and motioning for her to sit next to him on the couch. “I wanted my parents to see it.”
“It was on TV,” Janey whispered angrily into his ear.
“No one told us,” Isabelle said.
The tension in the room was palpable. Richard Rose’s face was frozen in an expression of indifference, as if he couldn’t trust himself to reveal any interest in the spectacle on the screen. Paula looked disapproving; Wheaton amused. “Hold on, everyone,” Selden said, completely clueless. “Here’s where Janey comes out . . .” Suddenly, Janey appeared at the top of the runway in the blue sequined bra and panty set. She paused, and sweeping the crowd with her eyes, began sashaying down the runway with a superior expression on her face. Watching herself, she cringed—her breasts looked enormous, and the men in the audience were whistling and making catcalls like adolescent boys at a seedy strip joint. Sensing her distress, Isabelle leaned over and patted her knee. “You look just great, Janey,” she said kindly. “Doesn’t she look great, Wheaton?”
“Sure,” Wheaton muttered, looking down at the floor.
Suddenly Paula stood up and, striding to the television set, snapped it off.
“Hey!” Selden said.
“Janey looks absolutely beautiful, dear,” Paula said firmly. “But I really don’t think this is appropriate fare for Christmas Day. Do you?” And then, as if nothing at all had happened, she said brightly, “Should we have our usual afternoon? Beach and then tennis?”
They all stood up. Selden clapped Wheaton on the shoulder. “How about a quick game before the beach?”
“Sure,” Wheaton said. They began filing out of the room. Janey turned away, acutely conscious of the fact that during the entire debacle, not one of them had had the guts to even look in her direction.
“Are you coming, Janey?” Paula called, without turning around.
“In a minute,” Janey said.
She was suffocating. She had to get out of the house; she had to get away from them. It was obvious now: She didn’t belong here and she didn’t fit in. They knew it and she knew it, and there was no use pretending otherwise . . .
She went down the hallway to her bedroom. Selden already had his tennis 18947_ch01.qxd 4/14/03 11:24 PM Page 239
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shorts halfway up his legs, as if he couldn’t wait to get out of the house. “Hey babe,” he said, wriggling his bottom to help inch the tennis shorts over his hips.
“That was
incredibly
embarrassing,” she spat.
“Oh, come on, babe,” he said, fastening the shorts around his waist as he came toward her. He kissed her on the cheek. “You can’t pay attention to Mother. She’s very conservative. She knows what you do for a living . . . she just doesn’t want to be reminded of it, that’s all. Don’t worry,” he said, giving her a little shake. “I’m sure she still loves you . . .”
“She can’t stand me,” Janey said. She went to the closet and took down her Louis Vuitton duffel bag.
“Hey,” Selden said. “What are you doing?”
“I’m leaving,” Janey said. “I’m taking the next flight out of here.”
“Come on, babe,” Selden said. “You’re kidding, right . . . ?”
“I’ve never been more serious in my life,” she said, through gritted teeth.
He grabbed her arm. “Mother didn’t mean it, I promise,” he said soothingly.
“I’ll get her to apologize . . .”
“It’s not just
that
!”
“What is it then?”
“It’s
everything,
” she said viciously. “This whole vacation
sucks
. We can’t even go to a bar and have a drink . . .”
“Is that what you want to do?” he asked, taking a step away from her. “You want to go out partying . . . ?”
“Not
partying,
” she faltered. “I’d just like to meet some interesting people . . .”
“This is a
family
vacation,” Selden said coldly. “I get to see my family maybe once a year, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to spend my time with
them
—as opposed to a bunch of strangers I’m never going to see again.”
“It’s fine for you,” Janey snapped, “because they’re
your
family . . .”
“They happen to be
your
family now, too,” Selden said. He crossed the room and picked up his tennis racket. “So I’d appreciate it if you could refrain from making a scene. You’re acting just like a child . . .”
“Oh. And you’re not?” she accused.
“Maybe I am,” he said harshly. “But I
paid
for this vacation. It cost me thirty thousand dollars. And I intend to have a good time.”
“So what am
I
supposed to do?”
“Just go to the beach and work on your tan,” he sniped. “I’ll be there in less than an hour, okay?” And with that, he left the room.
Janey sat down on the bed in a huff. She looked at the duffel bag and suddenly realized she didn’t have the energy to leave—to book a ticket and pack and order a taxi and get to the airport and then fly all the way back to New York, changing 18947_ch01.qxd 4/14/03 11:24 PM Page 240
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planes in Miami . . . Her eye fell on the white envelope, which lay on her pillow.
Selden must have placed it there, as a reminder for her to start planning their house.
In a fit of rage, she picked it up and flung it across the room, where it bounced off the mirror with a satisfying
thwack
and fell to the floor.
From the other side of the thin bedroom wall, she heard Paula call out: “Is everything okay in there?”
“It’s fine,” Janey called back. “I just dropped something.” She put her head in her hands, wondering if this day could get any worse.
An hour later, Janey lay on her stomach on a striped towel, filtering sand through her fingers and thinking about how much she hated Selden and his family. Next to her sat Isabelle, a cheap local straw hat clapped on the top of her head. As if somehow aware of how badly things were going, Isabelle was silent, pretending to read a mystery novel she’d found in the house. Paula and Richard were at the other end of the beach, taking a walk.
The silence between the two women grew heavy, and finally Isabelle put down her book. As if she couldn’t think of anything else to say, she commented, “You’ve got a great figure, Janey. Do you work out?”
“Hardly,” Janey said.
“You’re kidding,” Isabelle said, staring at the ocean. “I’d have to work out all day every day to have a figure like yours.”
And even then you never would, Janey thought, suddenly sick of this endless obsession that people had with her body. “I get that all the time,” she snapped, no longer inclined to be polite. “And it’s a huge bore. Everybody’s body is what it is, you know? It’s like intelligence—you can’t change it that much.”
“I’m
sorry,
” Isabelle said. “I didn’t mean to offend you . . .” She picked up her book and started to read again.
“Forget about it,” Janey sighed. She rolled onto her back and closed her eyes, and immediately felt bad. Isabelle was the only person who’d been even remotely nice to her, and now she’d insulted her. “It’s not your fault,” she said apologetically.
“It’s just that Selden and I got into a fight . . .”
“About something stupid,” Isabelle said, nodding.
“I . . . guess so,” Janey said, hoping that she wasn’t going to have to go into the particulars.
“That happens to me and Wheaton every time we go on vacation. There’s always one day when we get into a huge fight . . . about
nothing
. . . and we’re mad at each other for hours and then we realize how stupid we’re being and we make up.” Isabelle put her book down and turned to Janey. “I think that kind of thing is actually
good
for a relationship, don’t you?” she asked. “I always think it’s
cleansing
. . .” 18947_ch01.qxd 4/14/03 11:24 PM Page 241
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Janey sat up on her elbows. “What was Selden’s first wife like?” she asked casually. “He never talks about her . . .”
“Oh!” Isabelle said. She frowned. “Well, she was
very
smart, and
very
successful—she was an entertainment lawyer—I think she had lots of big movie stars as clients. But in the end . . .” She broke off, and, looking at Janey, said, “Do you promise not to tell Selden I told you? Because I know he really doesn’t like to talk about it, and Wheaton will kill me . . .”
“I promise,” Janey said. She rolled over onto her side and smiled.
“Well, in the
end
. . . I guess Selden just stopped paying attention to her or something, because she started getting all this plastic surgery. Not that there’s anything
wrong
with plastic surgery,” she added quickly, as if not wanting to offend Janey. “But it was just sort of like she was addicted. She got breast implants, and then she had a nose job, and that wasn’t enough, so she had some kind of eye lift and I think she even had that operation where they suck out the fat . . .”
“Liposuction,” Janey said.
“That’s it,” Isabelle said. “I mean, she looked good and everything, but she also looked kind of weird. And then there was some other stuff that happened . . .
something about a necklace, and then it turned out that maybe Sheila was cheating . . . I’m not really sure, but apparently, it was one of those things that got really messy . . .”
“Is that so?” Janey said, encouragingly.
“Yeah,” Isabelle said. “So I guess that’s why it’s so important to him to have a normal life. Even before he met you, all he talked about was how much he wanted to get married again and have kids . . .”
“Yeah,” Janey said, sarcastically. “I
know
. . .”
“You don’t seem that thrilled about the house,” Isabelle said gently.
Janey sighed, picking up a handful of sand and letting it run through her fingers. “It’s not that I’m not happy about it,” she said, “it’s just that I don’t have any time to work on it. Selden doesn’t know this, but I’m about to start producing a movie.”
“You
are
?” Isabelle asked, impressed.
“That’s right,” Janey said, nodding her head. “I’ve bought the rights to a best-selling book—
The Embarrassments,
you’ve probably heard of it—and in the next couple of months I’ll be raising the money and getting a director and lead actor on board . . .”
“That’s interesting,” Isabelle said. “What’s it about?”
“You should read it,” Janey said. “I was actually thinking that I might play one of the female parts. I’ve done quite a bit of acting . . .”
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No, I’m sure he didn’t, Janey thought ruefully, but at that moment their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Paula.
She plunked herself down on the end of Isabelle’s towel. “That was a lovely walk,” she said breathlessly. “You girls should try it.”
“Oh, we will,” Isabelle nodded. “We were just sitting here talking.”
“Were you?” Paula said. “Girl talk?”
Isabelle looked at Janey. “Janey was just telling me that she’s going to produce a movie.”
“Really?” Paula said, looking skeptical. “What movie?”
“It’s still in development,” Janey said quickly. “We’re working on getting the money right now . . .”
Richard, who was a few steps behind Paula, suddenly appeared and stood above his wife. “Janey’s going to produce a movie,” Paula said to him.
“I thought Selden was a producer,” Richard said.
“He is,” Paula said. “But now Janey says she’s going to be one, too.” She raised her eyebrows, giving Richard a look.
“I’m curious about one thing,” Richard said. “How long can a career as a model last?”
“Well, Lauren Hutton . . . ,” Janey began.
“Oh, but she’s an exception, isn’t she?” Paula said, cutting her off. “I’m sure you want to have children soon . . .”
“I guess so,” Janey said in frustration.
Selden came down the little dirt track leading to the beach. He was smiling and appeared to be in a triumphant mood. “Hello, Mother,” he said, throwing a towel down onto the sand. “You’ll be happy to know that I whupped his . . . butt.”