Traitor (10 page)

His muscles were tense, but he was gentle with me as he placed me in the passenger seat and drew the seat belt across my chest. He shut the driver’s side door a little harder than was necessary when he got in, and he didn’t look over at me as he cranked up the car and threw it into reverse, backing out of the parking garage.

We were silent for long minutes, a horrible tension building in the confined space. Sean was seething. Was it from his anger at Bradley, or was he mad at me?

“I’m sorry,” I said softly.

He glanced over me, and the fury that I saw in his expression made me press my body deeper into my seat as I instinctively tried to draw away from him.

“You’re sorry,” he echoed me, his voice tight. “What the fuck were you thinking, Claudia?” He burst out, half-shouting.

I shrank back from him further. “I… I just wanted to surprise you,” I lied, my voice small and tremulous.

His knuckles turned white as he gripped the steering wheel hard. “I told you that I wasn’t home,” he growled. “You knew that you would be alone with Bradley. Why would you put yourself at risk like that?” He demanded.

“I didn’t think he would hurt me,” I desperately defended my actions. “He…” I wasn’t sure if I should admit that Bradley had threatened me at my house, but it seemed that I didn’t have a choice. “I came home a few nights ago, and he was waiting for me. He wanted to make sure that I hadn’t gone to the cops. I was afraid of him, but he said that he wouldn’t hurt me because he didn’t want to make you angry. I thought I was safe from him.”

Sean let out a furious snarl. “Son of a bitch! And when were you planning on telling me about this?”

“I wasn’t,” I said, trying to make my tone stronger. “I’ve caused so much trouble between the two of you. I might hate Bradley for what he did to me, but I can’t stand to see that I’m destroying your relationship with your best friend.”

That had a grain of truth to it.

“It’s his actions that are destroying our relationship,” he said harshly. “It’s not your fault. And given his hatred of you, it was beyond stupid to show up to my apartment tonight when you knew that I wasn’t there.” He speared me with a hard, intimidating look. “Swear to me that you will never to that again. If I hadn’t arrived when I did…” He trailed off, closing his eyes for a moment and grimacing.

“Okay,” I said meekly. “I promise.” Regardless of what I had said to Clayton about trying to mend my relationship with Bradley, I knew that I would never dare confront him again.

I hoped that some of the tension between us would ease, but Sean’s features remained twisted with suppressed fury.

“And why the fuck were you asking questions about my father?” He demanded. “Haven’t I warned you about him?” He cursed softly and ran his hand through his hair. “There’s no way he won’t take notice of you now. If Bradley really does go to him… Do you have any idea of the position that you’ve put yourself in? That you’ve put me in?”

“I’m sorry,” I said again, at a loss for words.

“‘Sorry’ doesn’t cut it,” he said angrily. “Why were you asking questions about him when I specifically warned you not to?”

“I just… I just wanted to make things better. I’m not comfortable with the idea of him hating me, especially if it’s causing him to turn against you. I was asking Bradley what I had done wrong.”

“You allowed me to care about you, that’s what you did wrong,” he snapped. “I told you not to fuck with my father, and you deliberately disobeyed me. And look at where it got you. Bradley hurt you.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but I snapped it closed when he shot me a cutting look.

“And don’t you dare tell me that you’re alright,” he growled. “He hit you, Claudia. What were you thinking trying to get between him and me? Do you have any idea what he could have done to you?”

This time my voice was stronger, anger coloring my tone. “If you think that I was just going to stand there and let you take a beating, then you don’t know me at all. I hate the sight of violence, Sean. It goes against everything that I am; I have dedicated my life to saving people from pain. And to see him hurting you… I couldn’t bear that.”

He grimaced. “You’ll have to learn to. I won’t allow you to put yourself in the line of fire ever again. Do you know what it would do to me if you were harmed?” He glared at me, his expression dark. “I am going to tan your hide until you learn your lesson.”

That got my hackles up. “Yellow,” I said sharply, using my safe word.

His brows rose in surprise, his mouth falling open slightly.

“Let’s get one thing straight,” I said angrily. “You can discipline me when it comes to our sexual relationship, but know that I will never tolerate you punishing me for something that I’ve done outside the bedroom. This is my life, Sean. I make my own choices, and I refuse to allow you to dictate what I can and can’t do. That’s called abuse.” I knew that that last part was harsh, but I needed to drive my point home.

His mouth hardened into a grim line. “Fine,” he barked out. Then he took a deep breath, and his expression softened. “Of course I understand that, Claudia. I was way out of line. It’s just… Please. You have to listen to me on this. I can’t protect you if you’re recklessly placing yourself in danger. Can’t you understand that? You’re small, weak, and you don’t stand a chance against my enemies.”

“I am
not
weak,” I said staunchly.

I gave me a I’ll-have-none-of-this-nonsense look, eyeing me up and down. After a moment, I let out a sigh. “Okay,” I conceded. “Maybe I’m not the strongest person ever. But I can work on that.”

He considered for a moment. “I’ll teach you some moves for self-defense when we get to your house,” he said. “As much as I hate the idea, I might not always be there when you need me, and you have to be able to defend yourself. Just swear to me that you won’t goad people into attack.”

I folded my arms across my chest. “I’m not stupid,” I insisted.

“You certainly are doing a good impression of it,” he said harshly.

I frowned at him.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “I’m out of line again.” Then, to my surprise, he shot me a small smile. “Do you have any idea how infuriating you are?”

“Right back at you.” I tried for a hard tone, but I reacted instantly to his renewed levity. It was so much better than his ire.

He chuckled. “Fair enough. I guess we’re a good match, then.”

I was momentarily stunned by his words. It was almost as though he was defining us as a couple. Was that what we were now? I hardly dared hope. I reached out and covered his hand with mine.

“I suppose we are,” I said with a smile.

Chapter 8

“Okay,” Sean said. We were standing in my living room as he instructed me on how to defend myself. “Your best move is to hold your hand out in front of you, your palm facing your attacker. I want you to warn him to stop before he is on you. At least
try
to prevent a physical altercation. If he advances on you anyway, I want you to slam your palm into his nose. This will break it, and if you’re lucky will shove the bone back into his brain. That will put him down completely.”

I gasped. “But that would kill him,” I protested, alarmed. “I couldn’t do that!”

His mouth thinned into a grim line. “We’ve been over this, Claudia. If it comes down to you or him, you’re going to choose yourself. Do you understand me?”

I swallowed against the bile rising in my throat at the thought of taking a human life, but I nodded reluctantly, not wanting to argue.

“If you can’t put him down completely, then follow up by kicking him in the balls. That should drop him and give you time to get away.”

“Okay,” I agreed. I definitely didn’t have a problem with that one.

“His other main weakness will be his eyes. Go for them if he’s in close range. The best way is to use your keys. Make a fist and press them between your fingers and then strike. If you don’t have your keys on you, I want you to use your index and middle fingers. Don’t claw at him; hold them out straight and jab hard.”

My stomach churned. I didn’t think that I would ever be capable of causing such damage to another human being. The thought of seeing a man’s eyes, bloodied and gouged by my own hand… I wrapped my arms around my middle, hugging myself.

Sean’s expression softened, and he enfolded me in his arms, running a reassuring hand up and down my back. “I hate that I’m putting you in this position, Claudia,” he admitted, his voice strained with suppressed emotion. “But the fact is that it’s too late to turn back now, and you have to be able to defend yourself if I’m not around.” He pulled back and cupped my cheek in one of his large hands. “I’m so sorry,” he said softly. His eyes were filled with shame and regret.

“It’s not your fault,” I said gently. “Bradley is the one who brought me into this world. All you’ve done is protect me from it. I would be dead by now if it weren’t for you.”

His expression tightened at the mention of Bradley. “I hate him for that.” He couldn’t keep the rage from his voice.

I reached up and traced my finger along his jawline. The feeling of his stubble against my fingertips sent heat shooting through me. I looked up into his eyes, which were burning with a furious light. “Please don’t say that,” I said softly. “I know that you can mend what is broken between you. Just give him time. I can understand why he thinks I’m a threat, and while I’m not thrilled with the fact that he attacked me, I know he’ll come to realize that I’m not trying to hurt you.”

Bullshit,
I said harshly to myself. Well, a part of it was true: I didn’t want to hurt Sean. But that didn’t change the fact that I was inevitably going to.

He grasped my hand gently and turned his face into my wrist, breathing in my scent deeply. “You’re so
good,
Claudia,” he said, a hint of wonder lacing his tone. “And so innocent. Some might even go so far as to say naïve.”

I opened my mouth to retort that I was not naïve, but he pressed his fingers against my lips, silencing me.

“I’m not trying to offend you, Claudia,” he insisted softly. “I’ve never met anyone as brave and as goodhearted as you. Despite everything you’ve been through, you still care deeply for humanity. You are so remarkable, and I can’t believe that you can’t seem to see that.”

I was stunned into shocked silence. How could he think so highly of me? He didn’t think me cold; he saw right through my walls, peering into my soul. How was it that he could see goodness there when I felt like such a traitor? The knowledge of my deceit and his ignorance of it made my heart twinge painfully.

“Thank you,” I whispered, my lips brushing against his calloused fingertips. The roughness of them against my soft skin made my flesh tingle.

He took a deep, shaky breath and reluctantly pulled away from me. He gave me a small smile. “Come on,” he said. “I need to teach you how to throw a punch.” His fingers curled around mine, forcing me to make a fist. “You’ll want to hit him in the nose or the mouth; that’s where the most nerve endings are. If you can follow it up with a blow to the solar plexus, it should put him down.” He gave me a lopsided smile and ran his free hand up my arm, lightly squeezing my bicep. “You’re so small in my grip,” he said, his voice husky. “I like that, Claudia, but you’re going to need to practice this so that you can get stronger.”

I swallowed hard. “I doubt I could ever take you on,” I admitted, a bit breathlessly.

His smile took on a slightly cruel edge, and his fingers moved upward to caress my throat, tracing the line of my carotid artery, threatening. My eyes widened and my breathing hitched. “No,” he said silkily. “I don’t think you could.” He cocked his head at me. “But I don’t think you would dare try.” His eyes were dancing, and I knew that he was challenging me to rise to his bait. And damn it if I wasn’t tempted to. I longed for his raw power to wash over me, for him to force my body to submit to his far greater strength.

Throwing caution to the wind, I pulled back my free hand and aimed for his nose, just as he had instructed me. He caught my fist easily, then shifted his grip to my wrist. He grinned down at me evilly before wrenching my arm behind my back. I gave a sharp cry as he pulled it upward behind me, sending a slight pain shooting up my arm. I was forced to twist away from him, turning to relieve some of the pressure. But he didn’t relent, and the pressure drove me to my knees. His other hand came down on the back of my neck, shoving me down until he had my face pinned against the floor. My free hand scrabbled against the carpet, trying fruitlessly to push myself up. He held me patiently, implacable, until I went limp beneath him. He chuckled above me.

“Well isn’t this familiar?” He asked, amused. It was the same position he had held me in the last time he had taken me, and my sex swelled at the memory. I bit back a moan, trying to cling to my willpower. I was enjoying the fight, enjoying pushing the limits of his tolerance for my resistance.

“Very original.” I tried for a disparaging tone, but it came out as more of a gasp.

“You want to try something new then, do you?” His voice was low and dangerous, and I couldn’t help quivering beneath him. “I want you to remember that you asked for it.”

Suddenly, his hold on my neck and wrist eased, and his fingers were twined in my hair at the back of my head. He pulled relentlessly, and I quickly pressed my hands against the floor to push myself upright before the strands parted company with my scalp. When I was on my feet, I reached up to rake my nails against him arm, trying to make him release me. But he grabbed my wrists, pinning them at the small of my back. He held them in one hand while his other returned to my hair, tugging back sharply in reprimand. Staying stationed behind me, he shoved me, never releasing his grip on me. I was forced inexorably forward, helpless to prevent him from directing my body where he wanted it to go.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

He gave another sharp tug on my hair, sending tingles down my spine. “Quiet,” he said gruffly. “I don’t believe I gave you permission to speak.”

My mouth fell open, but no sound came out. My breathing was turning fast and shallow as he guided me out of the living room and up the stairs. I fought not to stumble up them as my legs felt weak beneath me, my entire body turning to jelly as submission crept into the edges of my mind. Remembering our game, I tried to shove it back, but I knew that I would only be able to hold it at bay for so long.