-I'm sorry,- Li'ren whispered. -I don't mean to worry.-
Kri'a rubbed her younger lover's back, twisting her own tail affectionately around hers. -It's quite alright.- She kissed the top of Li'ren's head, stroking her fingers lightly between her ears. -But remember how important this is, all the same. We will be much better off with Lieutenant Me'lia than without her.-
Li'ren closed her eyes. -I know. I will do my very best.-
The Empress smiled, hugging her tightly. -You always do, my dear. You always do.-
******
Aria could feel Jack looking at her the entire way back home, but she avoided his eyes, saying nothing to him. Her head was spinning as though she was drunk, but she was as sober as she had ever been in her entire life. Too much was going on right now, and Aria was beyond the end of her rope. She was so far beyond it that she was falling into the valley below. So the Empress believed that the Ascendancy was heading for another civil war? The words sounded insane even as Aria said them to herself, but she knew that it could be true. If everything that the Empress had told her was true, then it was almost a certainty.
And she thinks I can help her stop it? Pur'e a te me tuk...
Aria did not need that kind of responsibility right now. She was under enough stress already. Her trial was dangerously close, and the case was not looking good. When even the legal representative of the Empress herself said that the case looked nearly hopeless, well...that was not very encouraging at all. Aria ground her teeth together as their vehicle stopped in front of her home. She opened the door and stepped out, not even waiting for Jack before she began walking up the path to the front entrance.
“Aria?”
What if Li'ren couldn't formulate a good defense in time? The trial would be a complete formality, and then Aria would face certain execution. Then Jack would be sold, unless her family could pull some real crazy maneuvers to keep that from happening.
“Aria?”
Beyond that, if the Empress was correct and Aria was crucial to helping prevent a civil war, then her absence might throw her people into chaos once more. Aria had seen pictures in the history books of Lirna burning during the last war. She did not want the planet she loved to go through that again, but right now she saw no reason that she would be able to do anything to prevent it.
“Aria, stop!”
Aria spun around as Jack's hand grabbed her arm. They were just a few feet away from the front door now, and she had no memory of the walk up from where the vehicle had dropped them off.
“What?” she hissed harshly at Jack.
“Aria, can we talk, please?” he said, his eyes wide with fright at the expression on her face. She looked every bit as fearsome right now as she had the first time he'd ever seen her. Her predator's fangs were bared, and the fur on the back of her neck and the top of her head was raised.
Aria stared at Jack, seeing him shrink back from her as she growled. She saw that he was terrified of her now, and something broke inside of her. Immediately her expression softened. She turned away from Jack slightly, and covered her eyes with one hand.
“I sorry,” she said, taking a slow, shuddering breath after she said it. “Jack, I...need be alone.” Aria looked back at him. “Please, just...go to you room. I come later. We talk later, yes?”
Jack opened his mouth, meaning to protest, but then he closed it. He nodded. “Alright, Aria. But don't be too long.”
“Will not. I just go make some tea. Will be there soon.”
Nodding again, Jack turned away from her and continued up the walkway, heading away from the main building of the estate towards the guest quarters. Aria watched him go, and then she walked inside. The home was quiet. None of her siblings were in the halls, and her father was either in his study or still at work. In the middle of the day, most of her family would be away from home. She made her way to the kitchen.
Aria busied herself with preparing tea, her mind still buzzing with questions, worries, fears, and anxieties. There was just too much for her to think about, so much that could go wrong. She felt, irrationally, like the whole world was depending on her. She didn't want that at all. She had never wanted anything more than to serve her people faithfully, to follow the example that her mother had set for her. All of this was way more than she could handle.
As she reached for the tea kettle, Aria looked to her right. Pans, dishes, pots, and kitchen knives hung from pegs on the wall, all in neat little rows. Orderly. Perfect.
It would be so easy.
******
Jack frowned, staring at the door as he sat on his bed in his room. Aria should have been here by now. He didn't have a watch or a clock with him, but he was certain that it had been at least fifteen or twenty minutes since he'd left Aria at the front door to her family's estate. Did it really take that long to make tea?
After about five more minutes, Jack decided that he'd had enough waiting. He got up and left his room, walking down from the guest quarters back to the main building. Maybe there was something in the kitchen that he could help Aria with. Perhaps she had decided to make some food, or something.
He knew the path to the dining room and the kitchen well by now. He reached the door leading to the kitchen three minutes after he'd left his room. As soon as he opened the door, Jack knew something was wrong. He couldn't hear the hiss of the tea kettle. Jack opened the door all the way and stepped inside.
“Oh, fuck, Aria, what did you do!?”
She was lying on the floor, a pool of blood spread around her body, still expanding ever so slowly. A small knife lay on the floor next to her, blood coating the blade. Jack fell to his knees next to her and heaved with all his might, getting her onto her back. He put a hand to her neck, feeling her pulse. Weak and thready. She was still breathing, but only slightly.
“Hey, somebody!” Jack shouted as loudly as he could, over his shoulder through the open door. “I need some help! Someone come quick!” He turned his attention back to Aria. She had deep slashes along both wrists, and blood was still seeping from the wounds. Looking around, Jack found a few towels and wrapped them around her wrists as tightly as he could. He felt sick to his stomach. “Come on, Aria, don't die...”
He heard the sound of someone running in his direction. A moment later, Sami came rushing into the kitchen, out of breath. She took one look at the sight before her and clapped both hands over her mouth, her eyes going wide and her ears flattening to the top of her head.
“What happen?” she managed to gasp out.
“I don't know,” Jack said. “I found her like this. I think she cut her own wrists. She needs help, now!”
“I go,” Sami said. “Call. Be quick.” She ran back out of the kitchen, heading for the front hall where a communicator was located. Jack stayed on the floor next to Aria, cradling her head in his lap. He kept checking to make sure she was still breathing.
“Hold on, Aria. Just hold on...”
- 9 -
She felt so cold.
-Clear the hall! Trauma patient coming in! We need to move quick.-
-We're going to need at least five liters, probably more.-
-Someone find out the right type, fast! How's her pulse?-
Who was talking? She heard so many unfamiliar voices. But the last time anyone had said anything to her, she had been at home. Were they having guests tonight? If they were, someone would need to turn the heat on. She felt very cold indeed.
-Okay, bring her over here. We're lifting her off the stretcher, one, two...-
-Her blood pressure is still dropping. Pulse decreasing.-
-Got her type, we're bringing it in now! Starting the...-
-Not yet, you idiot! If we don't have the wounds closed up, it will just come right back out again!-
She could feel hands on her body, hands wrapped in something cold, smooth, and rubbery. They seemed to be doing something with her arms. She wanted to push them away, but she felt sluggish and weak. Even if she'd been able to move her hands, she doubted she had the strength she would require.
-Where's that vascular surgeon? We need to get these lacerations sealed as quickly as possible.-
-We've got the basic sutures in place. Start the transfusions. It will have to do for now, she's deep into hypovolemic shock.-
Oh...They were talking about her. How silly, she should have realized. But didn't they understand that she was already dead? All of this trouble over nothing. Surely they could be helping someone else right now. And these damn lights right in her face were so bright...
-Gods, her eyes are opening. That shouldn't even be possible...-
-Get some anesthetic in here, right now. If she starts moving now, she's going to lose even more blood.-
The hands were gripping her tighter now. She could feel sharp stabbing pains in her arms, like something was probing around. Something was scraping her flesh underneath her fur, dragging along it in long strokes. She wanted to yell for them to stop, but there was something down her throat preventing her from speaking. She tried to move her legs, but they seemed to be tied down.
-Sedative here. Starting it now.-
-Go easy with it, she's still in shock.-
She felt a pinch on the side of her neck. Before she could tilt her head to try to look at what was attacking her, her vision again went dark. The cold was penetrating...All she could feel was ice. Then something seized in her chest, and she suddenly went numb.
-Heart's stopping...Pulse is nearly at zero now.-
-We're losing her...-
******
Jack had always hated hospitals. Back when he had enlisted and had been going through pilot training, he had botched an atmospheric landing and ruptured one of the fuel cells in his fighter. He'd tried to go back up and reattempt the landing, but the fuel had ignited. Jack and his trainer had both had to eject from the fighter, and Jack hit the ground a little harder than he should have, breaking his leg in two places. Six weeks later he'd walked out of the base hospital, healed up nicely and motivated to never have to set foot in a hospital again.
Now he was back, for a very different reason. A hospital, especially an Ailian hospital, was still the very last place that he would have ever wanted to be, but this was where he needed to be. If he'd stayed back at the house, he might have gone insane while waiting. Now, he was still waiting, but at least he was waiting in the same place that Aria was. Sami had done some very artful convincing in order to get him here. When the emergency responders had arrived at the estate to get Aria, the rest of the family had followed them to the hospital shortly after, with Arn, Aria's father, coming there from his workplace. Several of Aria's siblings had very pointedly wanted to leave Jack, but Sami had insisted in letting him come along. She'd also managed to get him into the hospital itself. Sami was, as a rule, a very down-to-earth Ailian, but when she really needed to she could play the part of the wealthy businessman's daughter, and Jack was grateful for it.
He still couldn't believe what had happened. Jack had barely had time to change clothes before they'd rushed to the hospital. He knew he'd never be able to wear the clothing he'd had on before ever again. No matter how many times those garments were washed, he'd always be able to see Aria's blood staining the fabric. Jack couldn't fathom why she had done it. Granted, he only knew part of what the Empress had discussed with her, and Aria had been especially out of it lately, but still...
Jack looked around the hospital waiting room. All of the walls were painted a bright, clean-looking white, with little in the way of decoration. Aria's family were all sitting around, not saying much of anything, all looking very somber. Sami was seated next to her father, leaning against him as she cried. They'd been there for nearly nine hours already, and there hadn't been any news about Aria or what her condition would be. Jack was at the point where he was seriously considering getting up and making one of the doctors tell them something, anything.
Right as he was about to do just that, all of Aria's family stood up, looking towards one side of the waiting room, behind Jack. He stood as well, looking and expecting to see a doctor approaching, but he was surprised to see quite a different face.
“Hello, Jack. I came as soon as we heard what had happened.”
Li'ren was standing at the entrance to the waiting room, flanked by two guards. She was resplendent in her robes, the whiteness of which put the color of the walls to shame. As she came into the room, her guards remained behind, staying outside of the door. The Empress's Consort went first to Sami and her father, speaking to them in Ailian. Jack couldn't understand much of what she was saying, of course, but it sounded very kind and comforting. She sat down among the family for several minutes, listening to them and giving them each what comfort she could in turn.
In this setting, it was hard for Jack to remember that Li'ren was only twenty-five, younger than Aria, her father, or Jack, and only a few years older than Sami. She had the maturity and the bearing of a woman twice her age. Doubtless part of that was due to the Empress's influence and guidance. When she'd spent some time with Aria's family, Li'ren came to where Jack was seated and sat next to him.
“Jack, I am very sorry for what has happened,” she said to him. “The family tells me there hasn't been any news yet?”
“Not yet,” Jack confirmed, looking down at the floor. He held his hands up, staring at them, expecting to still see blood on them. But of course it had been washed away hours ago. “I could feel her going cold when I held her.”
“She is strong,” Li'ren said firmly. “I believe this, and you should believe it as well. You already know how strong she is, just as she also knows your strength. You will both need that strength.”
Jack leaned back against the wall, looking up at the ceiling now. He was doing everything he could to hold himself together. “I just wish I knew why she...why she did it.”
Li'ren sighed. “That is never an easy question to answer. I believe I should leave the answer to her, when she is able to give it. But she has been through much more than should be expected of any one person.” She looked back towards the entrance, where her guards were, then she turned back to Jack. “The Empress wished for me to extend her sincerest wishes for Aria's recovery, and she only regrets that she was unable to come herself. She understands how deeply you care for Aria.”
“I guess you both would understand as well as anybody,” Jack allowed. He closed his eyes. “I just-” He opened his eyes again as he heard a new set of footsteps entering the room. An Ailian wearing green doctor's garments was approaching. Jack watched him, feeling his heart pounding as the doctor went to Sami and her father. He started speaking to her, while Sami listened intently. Jack was again frustrated by his lack of understanding of the Ailian language. He needed to know what was going on with Aria.
Seeing his frustration, Li'ren began translating for Jack. “He says that they have finished with the operations and the follow-up work. He says that it was very lucky that she was found when she was. If she had gotten to the hospital perhaps five minutes later, there would have been nothing they could have done.” She listened to the doctor for a few more seconds, then she looked at Jack, sympathy evident on her face. “You are sure you want to hear all of it?”
Jack, whose face had gone white already, nodded. “Yeah, all of it.”
“Very well.” Li'ren put a comforting hand on his knee. “He is saying now that her heart stopped twice. Once when she arrived at the hospital and once during the surgery. They had to give her several transfusions and keep her on pure oxygen to keep her from suffering any brain damage, but they believe they were successful. When she cut herself, she did extensive damage to the muscles and tendons in her wrists. The cuts were too severe for them to use their wound sealers, so they had to stitch them together by hand so that they can heal traditionally. The doctor says that her arms will have little strength for several weeks, but that in time she should have full use.”
Jack took a few deep breaths, feeling some of the color return to his face. “So...there's not going to be any permanent damage?”
“It does not sound like it,” Li'ren said. She squeezed Jack's knee, her feline face stretching into a friendly smile. “You did a very good thing, acting so quickly when you found her.”
“Would have been better if it hadn't happened at all,” Jack said, rubbing his face with one hand and leaning forward in his seat. “I shouldn't have left her alone, Li'ren. I should have been with her, I...” His voice broke, and he covered his eyes with his hands.
Li'ren put her arm around his shoulder. “You couldn't have known what she was going to do, Jack. This is not your fault.”
“I know, it's just...” He heaved a huge sigh, sitting up straight again. “It's hard.”
“We have all suffered loss, yes? Be thankful that you still have her.”
The doctor finished talking to Sami and her father and stepped away. Sami looked stricken, but relieved, and the rest of her family looked much the same. They all turned to each other, hugging one another. Jack watched their relief, thankful that they wouldn't have to lose a second family member in one week. Then Aria's father came over to Jack. Jack watched the older Ailian with apprehension, knowing that as old as he was he still likely had the strength necessary to injure him seriously. He had never approved of Jack being in his home, or of his relationship with Aria, try as they might have to keep it hidden from him. Maybe Aria's father blamed him for the situation that led Aria to this, or for not doing more to prevent it. He stood up, ready for whatever Arn had for him.
He was not prepared for the man to take one of his hands in both of his, clutching it tightly.
“A'resh...me a'kla shi're ke la,”
the Ailian said to him, his face appearing earnest even as his tail and ears were drooping with grief.
“La me'lia te ri'a'la hale ke oria suresh. Mea'le re karan su'te.”
Jack blinked, not having expected anything other than anger. He looked at Li'ren blankly, unsure of what Arn Me'lia was trying to say to him.
Li'ren tilted her head to whisper in his ear. “He says this is twice now you have saved his daughter's life, and he is very grateful. He also wishes you to know that he was wrong about you, and that he now hopes to make you feel welcome in his family.”
Looking back at Arn, Jack felt oddly gratified. While it hadn't always exactly been his goal to gain the approval of Aria's family, it was nice to have even in these circumstances. “Well, tell him that I appreciate that, but that I just did what anyone should have done.”
Li'ren spoke to Arn, who bowed to her slightly in return. He squeezed Jack's hand once more and then stepped away, to be replaced by Sami a few moments later. She wrapped her arms around Jack. “Thank you,” she said. She looked him in the eye. “Doctor say...ah...Aria awake soon. Say we go see her.” She looked at Li'ren, then back at Jack. “You both come, yes? With me and father.”
“Of course!” Jack said quickly. Li'ren only nodded her assent.
Sami managed a small smile for both of them, and led them both over to the doctor, with her father. The doctor glanced at Jack quizzically for several long seconds, clearly confused as to why they would be bringing a slave with them. But he finally turned and took them out of the waiting room, leaving the rest of Aria's family behind as they all walked through the white halls of the hospital. Li'ren's guards followed soundlessly behind, all but forgotten by the rest of them as they had their minds on the more pressing matter.
******
Jack hadn't been sure what to expect when he saw Aria, but he knew it wasn't going to be good, and he wasn't wrong. Aria didn't look anything like the strong woman that he had come to know and love. Lying in the hospital bed, she looked small and frail. Several monitors were hooked up to her body, with small electronic screens with numbers on them that changed every so often, keeping track of her heart rate, respiration, and blood pressure. She had two intravenous lines hooked up to one arm. One of the pouches seemed to be full of blood, and the other had a clear fluid in it that must have been some sort of nutrient drip. A clear mask was over her muzzle, leading to an oxygen line. Her lower arms, exposed above the blanket covering the rest of her body, were wrapped in tight, white bandages. Her yellow-gold eyes were closed, her body totally relaxed.