Trapped with the Blizzard (23 page)

Angry tears pricked the corners of my eyes. Adrenaline carried me on a winding path around the lodge. There was no way I was going back to our spot in the Great Hall, returning only to have Liz throw her kid on me like an unwanted puppy. But I needed to keep moving, putting distance between the heartache and myself.

I found myself standing at the front entrance staring into the windswept snowy scene. It looked fake, like the movie set from
The Shining
. The wind howled through the covered sidewalk, whipping around the building like a vortex. I wanted to rage and scream at the injustice of it all. For the first time in a very long time, I’d met someone I not only connected with, but also felt comfortable around. I couldn’t believe I’d let him get so close, close enough to hurt.

And suddenly, the vast lodge felt too small, too crowded. I was trapped. I couldn’t breathe and I couldn’t stand the idea of going back into the crowd and seeing Marie’s smug, punchable face beaming at me from Miah’s side. Even the thought of it enraged me.

Nothing ever worked out, no matter what I did. I tried to open up to someone for the first time and was shut down. Taking Bryan’s talk to heart, I tried being kinder to Liz but that only opened the door to her walking all over me. I was just a stupid kid, hers to boss around and ignore as she saw fit. She probably bragged about how awesome she and Bryan were for taking in such a troubled child. I was surprised they hadn’t thrust me in front of a camera to talk about what an incredible human Liz Croyden-Marsh was.

All the anger and walls I used weren’t strong enough to keep me from getting hurt over and over again. No matter what I did, life just got worse and worse. Was that the moral of the story? Fuck trying?

My fingers curled around the cold metal of the door handle. I could feel the murmur of the crowd behind me, still all worked up from Santa Claus’ appearance. I mourned the life that died when Dad was hurt. Once, in another time, I would’ve laughed and cheered along with them. But now… I felt like a husk, filled with nothing but anger and a vast ability to disappoint.

I pushed through the first set of doors and the second without pausing. The wind buffeted me, ripping through my clothes as if I were wearing nothing at all. I didn’t care. I welcomed the cold. It was inviting. It was exactly what I deserved. A part of me wanted to wander off into the white blindness and succumb. I’d always heard dying of hypothermia wasn’t bad, just like going to sleep.

You have to understand. I didn’t actually want to die… I just wanted the peace that comes with it.

The scream coming from deep within was impossible to stop. It demanded release, and I was afraid of what might happen if I didn’t let it out. With my fists clenched at my sides, I screamed into the wild wind. I wanted to shatter the world with my pain. The wordless cry was pulled from me and swept away. Even the universe didn’t care. I screamed and screamed until my throat was hoarse. For my family, for my future, for every horrible reality about life I couldn’t bear to face. Violent shivers wracked my body as the snow stung my skin.

I stared into the snowy landscape for one more moment before turning to go inside. It felt like failure returning to the warmth. I was betraying the cold inside myself by seeking comfort in something empty. But I paused in the space between the doors, still in the cold but protected from the buffeting wind.

With my hand pressed to the frigid glass of the door, I promised myself I’d keep trying. Even when it hurt, even when I didn’t want to press on, I’d remember this moment. I chose the warmth over the cold, if only because the alternative wasn’t really a choice at all…

The moment I stepped inside, I was struck with the acrid scent of burning. The whole lodge reeked of wood smoke from all the fires, but this was different. Maybe opening the doors pulled the scent towards me first before anyone else had noticed. After a few steps down the hall, a handful of screams broke out and a clear word echoed through the lodge.

“Fire!”

A heartbeat later, the sprinkler system unleashed overhead, soaking me in seconds.

“That’s about right,” I muttered.

“Fire!”

That one word sent a panicked shiver right through my bones. I was standing in the kitchen at the time, going through the food inventory with Bruce. Before I had a chance to move towards the shout, my whole world turned into one giant shower. The hot pans fizzled and spat as the water made contact. Bruce jumped into action while I pulled my sweatshirt over my head in a feeble attempt to shield my eyes from the deluge.

As I ran out of the kitchen, I immediately saw smoke inside the lodge. I’m ashamed to admit, I wasn’t exactly the picture of cool and collected. My thoughts jumbled together to form an incoherent mess.
Jack. Fire! Bryan. Gotta stop the water. Fire! Need to keep everyone calm.

“Where is it?” I mumbled as I rushed through the crowd. I checked all the fireplaces and found nothing. Then I spotted Bryan running towards the rental area, Chris on his heels.

A woman grabbed my arm as I tried to follow. “What are we supposed to do? We can’t go outside!”

She was easily twice my age and for a moment, I wondered why she was asking me. Water dripped down her face, running along the wrinkles of her cheeks.
Shouldn’t I be asking her? Who made me the adult in this situation?
“Stay inside, we’ll get the water turned off in a minute.”

As I reached Bryan’s side, Chris had already doused the small fire with a hand-held extinguisher. He scanned the area for any other hot spots, which seemed pointless in the drenching rain. Within a minute, everything was soaked through.

“What happened?” I asked as I blinked water from my eyes. “Was it…?”

Bryan shook his head, droplets of water flying from his hair. “No, nothing like that,” he muttered as he glanced over my shoulder. A handful of onlookers were within earshot, all thinking the same thing.
Arson.
“Just a tiny fire,” he said in a louder voice. “Probably just some kids.”

“Why didn’t the smoke detectors go off?” I whispered.

His eyes widened as he looked up to one of the wall units that should’ve been flashing. “I’m not sure…”

I turned my back to the growing crowd and voiced one more concern. “And isn’t our sprinkler system only supposed to go off in the area of the fire? Not the entire building?”

Bryan’s expression tightened as he nodded. “Yeah, actually. Chris? Can you come here?”

After blasting the counter with one last spray of white foam, Chris jogged over. He was even more jittery than normal, which I chalked up to all the excitement.

“I need you to go turn off the water before we flood the entire place. You know where the main water line is, right?”

“Yup. You got it, boss,” he said before he pushed through the crowd to the basement.

Bryan took one last look at the charred wall and grabbed my hand. “We need to check the control panel.”

The crowd didn’t part for us so easily. They pressed from either side, asking questions we didn’t have answers for yet. “What’s going on?” a voice called out.

“It’s under control. We just need to…” Bryan replied.

“Bryan! Bryan, is this the arsonist?” a woman shouted. I didn’t know who it was, but I could’ve punched her. We continued winding our way through the mass of people, but they closed in around us, demanding to know what was happening.

“It’s not the arsonist. It was a tiny fire, most likely an accident,” he said loudly.

He squeezed my hand and continued pulling me through. It was so similar to times when we’d been ambushed by reporters that I had to remind myself these were my neighbors and friends, not assholes with cameras.

A middle-aged woman I thought I recognized but couldn’t quite place stepped right in Bryan’s path. “Everything is soaking wet. I’m holding you responsible for reparations.”

And with one comment, a fire of a different sort was kindled.

It was when Charlie stormed his way towards us, I finally realized who this woman was. Before I could get between the two of them, he launched into her. “Are you fucking kidding me? My wife nearly died trying to save your sorry ass. This man gave you a place to stay, food on your plate, and you’re… you’re…” He trailed off, words failing as he fought for the strength to keep from striking her.

Wet hair dripped down the side of her face as she tried to hide her fear and remain defiant. “I’m entitled to…”

“Oh, you’re fucking entitled all right,” he snapped.

“Please!” Bryan shouted as he put his hand up.

The panic was palpable. For some reason, I imagined those nature shows I used to watch with my dad. We were the skittish wildebeests attacking each other because we couldn’t see the real danger. I scanned the twisted expressions of the surrounding people, all scared, some angry. I had a chilling thought.
Somewhere, the lion is lurking, waiting for the right time to strike.

The situation calmed the moment the water turned off. Like a flipped switch, the crowd dispersed and returned to their belongings. Heads hanging, spirits low, they set to work drying out anything they could.

“You there?” Chris crackled on our walkie-talkies.

“On our way,” Bryan responded. We quickly made our way downstairs to examine the fire alarm control panel. Again, I’m no engineer, but my throat tightened the moment I saw the device.

“This was deliberate,” I hissed.

“Hold on, let’s just look at it,” Bryan cautioned. I huffed incredulously, scanning over my shoulder as I heard Chris approach.

I appreciated Bryan didn’t want to jump to the worst possible scenario, but it was pretty fucking obvious someone had messed with the alarm system. The small door had been torn from one of its hinges while the flat panel itself hung on by a handful of wires. From the little I could see over his shoulder, it looked like several had been severed.

“Everything all good, boss?” Chris asked from the doorway. He, like the rest of us, looked like a drowned rat. A heavy wrench swung from his hand, the weight of it steadying him more than I’d ever seen.

Bryan grunted, engrossed in the fire panel.

“Any idea why the sprinkler system went off everywhere?” I asked Chris.

He shrugged as he walked into the small maintenance room. “Not a clue. I turned off the water to the entire building until we figure it out.” He shifted from foot to foot as he replied. I had to look away. His fidgeting made me feel like we were standing on a rocking ship.

Bryan spoke without turning. His voice was so firm and focused, it made me nervous. “Chris, I need you to go upstairs and find Dusty for me, okay?”

“Sure thing, boss.” He jumped so quickly I half expected him to salute.

“What do you need Dusty for? He’s just…”

When Bryan faced me, I was met with an expression I’d hoped never to see again. It was the same look he had when he saved me in the parking lot, the same look when he carried me into the First Aid lodge in New Zealand. We were in trouble.

“What is it?” I asked, the breath catching in my throat.

“This was beyond deliberate. This was a calculated attack.” He spoke as he shuffled around me. He unfolded a stepladder and climbed to examine a sprinkler still dripping above us. “These
aren’t
supposed to all go off. They have this little glass piece that’s supposed to burst if there’s a heat source nearby.” I held the ladder as he stood on his toes to get a closer look.

“Okay… but couldn’t they have broken when the water came out?”

“No, it’s the other way around. The glass creates a seal. The only way so many could’ve gone off at once is if…” he trailed off, his gaze going distant. “Jesus…”

“What?” I asked frantically. I glanced at the clipped wires on the panel and knew this was going to be bad.

Bryan spoke quickly, like he was afraid he wouldn’t get it all out in time. “It’s a wet system which means water sits in the pipes. We have to flush it once a year, right? So the only way someone would’ve been able to do this is if the system had been flushed dry, the glass pieces broken, and then the water turned back on.”

“When did you become such an expert on sprinkler systems?” I snapped. I was filled with a sour fear, so the comment dripped with a terrified anger.

“When we took this place over,” he said absently. He fingered the snipped wires on the control panel and shook his head.