I loved being with Daisy, but I needed to drink in every second of alone time with Gunner. We’d only just had sex for the first time, and I was having trouble getting him back in bed.
It was embarrassing and confusing. I’d been a virgin, but I thought I’d made him happy. Why wasn’t he more interested? I figured the problem might fix itself when I donned my skimpiest string bikini, but for the first day of our time together, Gunner did nothing but gaze at me from under his ball cap and put some suntan lotion on me with quick, uninterested swipes.
When I couldn’t get him into the water, I felt like all my embarrassment and uncertainty came to a head. Right there, in the ocean, my lip trembled and I started to cry from sheer frustration.
Gunner sat up on his elbows and I turned my face away, ashamed of what a spectacle I was making over nothing. But he was already up, running so fast the sand kicked behind him. He crashed through the waves and was at my side in no time. I wiped the tears back and shook my head when he grabbed my shoulders.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” He turned me from side to side, then scooped me in his arms as I beat on his back. “You hurt? Something nip you? You step on something sharp? Damnit, Harlow, stop crying and tell me what’s wrong.”
Though I struggled like crazy, Gunner was not going to put me down until I told him what was bothering me, so I just had it out.
“I’m not bit and I didn’t step on a thing, so put me down!” I cried.
“So you can run away from me when I do? No way. You tell me what the hell this is all about, Harlow.” His voice was cool and even, but he tightened his arms round me in a way that let me know I wasn’t going anywhere until I told him.
“Fine. First of all, I was not crying because I was sad. I was crying because I was pissed as hell at you and—”
“Me?” Gunner interrupted, his eyebrows pressed low over those sexy green eyes. “I’ve been on my best behavior all week and—”
“
That’s it!” I cried, cutting him off. “That’s the exact problem, Gunner. We had sex and it was amazing. Okay, I realize it may have been more amazing for me since it was my first time...but I think it was good for you.” I paused, a new horrifying thought entering my mind. “Unless...oh Lord, put me down right now. I cannot talk about this with you.”
He didn’t listen to me, and he drew me closer instead of putting me down. “There isn’t a damn thing you can’t talk about with me. Tell me what’s bothering you, kitten.”
I shook my head because I was mortified beyond words. I had such an amazing time when we made love, it never occurred to me that it wasn’t all that impressive for Gunner. Duh! How could I have been such a dope? He’d been having sex for years, and he’d always had his pick of partners...there wasn’t a female in Piedmont who’d turn him down if he crooked his finger her way. I knew he cared about me, but caring didn’t turn a nervous virgin into a sex goddess. No wonder he wasn’t picking up on my hints.
He didn’t want to.
“I...made a big mistake coming here with you,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.
He finally put me down. “Alright.” He nodded, pulled his
ball cap off his head and ran a hand over his hair. “I’ll be glad to take you back if you like. But I understand if you want Daisy to come get you instead.”
“Fine.” I shrugged and Gunner shoved his hands deep in his pockets and took two steps back from me, then paused and looked right at me, his eyes blazing.
“I knew this whole ‘escape from reality’ thing was a crock of shit,” Gunner said, his voice sharp. “I guess a Mills and a Hunt can sneak off in every corner of Piedmont, but all this?” He held his hands out and gestured to the huge beach houses on every side of us. “I guess it’s not okay for you to bring the help here, is it?”
“What are you going on about?” I stalked close to Gunner and poked him in the chest hard enough to make him back up a step. “The only one who thinks you’re not good enough to be with me is you!”
“And I’m right, Harlow. I’m damn right!” He took me by the upper arms and dragged me close. “I’m not good enough to be with you. And, much as it sucks, I’m glad you realized it.”
“Realized it?” I gazed up into his gorgeous face.
“That’s what this whole thing is about, right?” He shook his head. “You want to leave so you don’t get caught in your cutesy little vacation town with the likes of me.”
“What? No! Not at all. I...I want to leave because I realize you don’t want to have sex with me again.” I could hardly say the words, my voice was shaking so hard.
For a long minute, there was no sound except the lapping waves and rushing wind, then he said, “What the hell are you talking about?”
“You’ve been avoiding me all day, all week. You don’t want to have sex with me, and I get it. I know I wasn’t that good—”
“Can you shut up for a second?” Gunner laughed and held me around the waist, lowering his mouth. “The sex we had? Best sex of my life. And I’ve had a lot, Harlow. I didn’t try again because you were a virgin. I wanted to take it slow. But it hasn’t been easy. Hell, it’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m sorry if it seemed like I was pushing you away. Trust me, I was fighting every second of every day to keep from stripping you down and having my way with you over and over.”
I feel light and perfect in his arms. “I want that. I want you so badly, I don’t know if I can wait.”
Right on the sand, oceans at our back, in the middle of the broad daylight, Gunner slid his fingers under my bathing suit bottoms and slid them into me.
“Fuck, Harlow. You’re ready for my dick right now, aren’t you?”
I nodded and he dragged me toward the water. I dug my heels in. “I don’t want to swim right now.”
He cocked a naughty smile my way. “Me neither, gorgeous. We have that big ole bed to ourselves all night. I don’t wanna risk breaking the headboard just yet.” He kept pulling, and soon we were in the clear, warm water up past our waists.
I looked left and right, but there was no one anywhere on the beach, so I let Gunner undo my top and suck hard on my nipples while his fingers slid in and out of me. I locked my legs around his waist and bobbed on the water.
He pressed his shorts down and yanked the crotch of my bottoms over, fitting me on top of him before he pulled me down and filled me in every way.
“Gunner,” I gasped.
“I love how your titties look all shiny and wet,” he said, pressing hard into me. “I love licking the salt away and tasting your skin, all peaches and cream.”
The water licked at me and held me up and closer to him than I’d ever imagined possible. I bucked against him, hard, breathing hard. My fingers knotted over the elastic muscles of his shoulders, and I gasped when he braced my back with one hand and slid the other down. His palm lay flat on my stomach and his middle finger ran over my clit in quick, maddening circles.
I came undone, my breasts pushed flat against his chest, my arms locked around his neck. A second before he was ready to come, he pulled out, groaning against my neck as his body jerked and released.
“You could have come in me,” I whispered, running my fingers through his damp hair. “I’m on the pill.”
He tied my suit back on with focused attention. “I don’t want to take any chances. The last thing you need is for your future to be over cause you’re knocked up with a Hunt baby.”
The moment shattered like a glass dropped to the cement.
We fixed our suits and waded out of the water. When we came to the back porch of the beach house, I took his hands.
“I don’t want to have children yet, but I’d be proud to have yours someday, Gunner.”
He tightened his fingers over mine and his mouth went flat and hard. “I appreciate you saying that, baby. I really do. But know this now: that’s not a possibility. I’ll never hook you that way.”
There were so many things I wanted to say, but Gunner pulled me into the house, grabbed a bottle of tequila and a cup of ice, and told me to get in the shower and get ready for him.
I couldn’t resist following his command, so I did, and I never regretted it.
Except I wish I’d told him that being hooked to him was the only thing I would ever want. Under all the arrogant swagger, Gunner Hunt needed to know someone loved him with their whole heart.
I gaze out at the wide open summer afternoon and wonder if I should just run to him now.
But I have a dinner party to get through. I don’t need to raise my father’s suspicions. Upset as he is about the idea of me pursuing ballet, and even as mortified as he is about New York City, nothing could hold a candle to the pure outrage he’d feel if he knew I was so much as thinking of holding hands with Gunner Hunt.
Good thing my daddy doesn’t know I’m constantly thinking about doing so much more than holding Gunner Hunt’s hand. So much more.
I swallow hard as a fresh rush of memories hits my brain, then turn to go to the kitchen and make sure nothing is needed for dinner tonight.
I have a feeling I’ll figure out a way to skip out at the end and make Gunner Hunt my personal dessert.
********
“Clay, this is my daughter Harlow. Harlow, Clay Wilson.”
“Pleasure,” Clay says. He extends his hand and I shake it quickly, but not before running my thumb across his palm and confirming exactly what I suspected. Perfectly smooth hands. Hands that haven’t seen hard work. There’s no doubt in my mind Clay doesn’t know how to please a woman with them. They’re nothing like Gunner’s hands.
Clay is handsome. Charming. I’m sure he’s a perfectly nice guy. And I’m sure when he’s older, he’ll have a beautiful home like my dad owns, and look just like any of the other guests here tonight. He’ll be happy enough, but there will never be any spark in his life. And even though my life would probably be easier if I could, I’ve never been able to accept that as my fate. I want to know that even on the crappy days, I’ve lived so much more than most people. That I loved wholly and crazily. I want that spark. Every day. That’s what dance is for me, and that’s what Gunner is, too.
“I invited Daisy. She’ll be by once she runs home to change. You don’t mind, do you, Dad?” I ask, as we all make our way to the screened in porch where dinner is ready to be served.
There are white twinkling lights and handmade menus at each place setting.
Apparently, Dad’s girlfriend has been getting her Pinterest on.
Dad glances up and shakes his head.
“No, of course not. Would have had Clay bring a friend along if I knew we’d be having another guest, though.” Dad laughs and claps his hand onto Clay’s back, but I know he’s not pleased.
Clay is holding my chair out for me, so I sit and he takes the seat next to mine. Clearly my dad has already worked out how he wants this to go tonight. He’s hoping Clay will impress me with his golf score, his stellar education, and solid career plan, and Dad won’t have to worry about me and my crazy plans to move away and dance anymore.
But it’s not going to work.
No matter how many times he tries this same scenario, it never works.
Claire, my dad’s live-in girlfriend, who is everything Dad wishes I was— passive, ambitionless, and accepting of her position in her man’s life—brings the last of the serving dishes to the table. She’s nice, albeit a little stupid, but she makes Dad happy. I know he’s not in love with her, but she’s someone to keep him company, and, most days, keeps him off of my back, so I don’t dislike her too much. I’m grateful to be able to get this meal started and quickly over with, especially without Daisy here as a buffer yet.
“So, your father tells me that you just recently moved back to town?” Clay asks, scooping salad onto my chilled plate.
“Mmhmm,” is all I offer.
“Where were you living before that?”
“Nowhere too long. I mean, my best friend and I have spent the last couple of years traveling.”
Trying to forget things and people that will never be forgotten.
“Wow, that sounds incredible. Where was your favorite place?”
The beach cabana that Gunner and I snuck off to that summer and didn’t leave for days.
“Hard to say. Do you travel a lot?” I ask.
Clay shrugs. “No, not really. Been working full time since I graduated college. I’d like to though. Maybe someday once I’m married I’ll take trips like that. Right now, it’s just me, though.”
“Harlow is an excellent tour guide. World traveler since she was just a little thing. You two should pick a place, I’m sure she’d love to have a vacation, show you around somewhere new. What about a little jaunt over to Turks and Caicos?”
“Dad, I hardly think Clay wants to run off to an island with a stranger.” I feel the heat on my face spread, igniting my entire body with anger. Like I want to go on a romantic getaway with some guy I hardly know. He’s doing this to try to take my mind off of New York.
Clay lets out a low, uncomfortable chuckle. “I appreciate that sir, but I really can’t get the time off for any trips right now. As nice as that would be.”
“You’re working for Isolde Michaels, right? She’s a great friend of mine, I’m certain I could get her to make an exception.”
“Dad...” I warn, poking at the maple glazed salmon on my plate and refusing to look at him. He’s unbelievable.