TRIGGER: A Motorcycle Club Romance Novel (19 page)

Trigger

I rode for ten hours. I didn’t
stop. I couldn’t risk arriving too late.

I first noticed the cars
when I was three hours from Ditcher’s Valley. Three blue Buicks that seemed to
follow my every move, were always there in the
rearview
.

But it wasn’t until I turned
off the highway at the Ditcher’s Valley exit that I knew for sure.

I hadn’t seen any evidence
of the rest of the club, either ahead of me or behind. I could only hope that
they’d already made it back to the bar.

The panic came in waves. So
did the regret. And the sadness. And then more panic. And then more regret.
Until, after seven hours or so, my mind was so rattled and my body was so tired
that all I could think of was staying awake and upright. And the cars.

The one tiny road that led
to town was deserted except for me and the cars behind me. As the little
buildings of Ditcher’s Valley came into view, I revved my engine, breaking the
speed limit by a wide margin, hoping to gain just a little time on the Buicks
behind me.

The town passed by in a
flash, but it was a flash that reminded me that I might never see any of those
stores again. I might never gas up at the Exxon. Never buy cold cuts at the
tiny deli. Never waste a
hungover
day kicking around
the abandoned storefronts and drinking coffee at the diner and watching the few
locals
toodle
around looking for something to do.

You might live, you have to try to live, you’re doing the right thing,
you’ll make it out, you will,
I told myself, trying to stay
positive.

Miracles did happen
sometimes, after all. Cass was a miracle.

But the thought of her,
crying after me as I ran away one last time, hurt too much to linger on.

The bar came into view, and
I pushed my low rider as fast as it would go to make it there.

Behind me, the cars looked
like puddles of blue on the hazy road. My mouth was dry, my heart racing. Dust
billowed around me as I turned onto the dusty parking lot, the sound of my
engine brittle and hollow in my ears.

Ten hours of riding should,
it seemed, have helped sooth my soul, helped me make peace with my potential
demise. But I was shaking, still, as I turned off the bike. The world seemed to
be more real than it had ever been before, everything sharp and vivid. The cars
broke free of the haze, would reach us in minutes, or less. Likely less; minutes
was hopeful thinking on my part.

“The fuck
are
you doing here, Trigger,” someone said, and turning, I saw Puck in the doorway
of the bar.

“I’m sorry, Puck, for
everything,” I said, licking my dry lips with my dry tongue.

“Reign said…ah, fuck,
Reign!” Puck leaned into the bar and called for the President. I began to back
away, moving towards the road.

“I’m doing this because it’s
the right thing to do,” I said, well aware that my voice was nearly too low to
be heard. My throat was closing
up,
I could barely
speak at all. The pounding of my heart was thunderous in my ears. The cars
neared.

“What…ah, fuck, Trigger,
you
stupid son of a bitch,” Reign’s face, red with rage,
appeared beside Puck’s. “Get the fuck back here, right fucking now, we don’t
have time for this shit!”

“Boss, that’s them, isn’t
it?” I called, still moving backwards. The cars were less than half a mile
away, and gaining fast.

“Puck, shit, are you ready –
Trigger, I swear to God, you need to get back here right fuckin’ now, you don’t
understand…”

“You know this is the right
thing, Reign,” I called, finally gathering the courage to raise my voice. My
feet were on the road. The cars were approaching. I raised my hands above my
head. “They’ll fuck us all up, or just me. It was my
fault,
I need to pay for it. You been good to me – you’ve all been good to me.”

“Trigger, you goddamn
idiot!” Reign yelled, and pushed past Puck, running across the dirt towards me.
I backed up to the center of the road, arms still raised. I turned. The cars
were no more than a quarter mile away. I closed my eyes. I thought of Cass.

And that’s when I died.

Death was strangely bright.
So bright that even though my eyes were shut tight, I felt like I was staring
directly into the sun.

And loud – for a moment, at
least, it was loud enough to hurt. Then it got quiet, but not entirely quiet,
more of a deafened muffle of my own waning heartbeat and the world I was
leaving behind.

And warm. Burning warm. A
whoosh of heat that could sizzle the ends of your hair, or at least felt that
way.

And – yes – it felt like
floating.

Except, more like being
thrown, and the world disappearing beneath you, and being so sure
you’ll
 
never
hit
the ground, that you’ll just continue to fly upward and upward until you reach
heaven or hell or some new, black and white version of the world you came from
where you can only watch things like a movie. But then you hit the ground
anyway.

And when I hit the ground,
with a clatter that made my bones vibrate, I came back to life.

Reign’s face appeared over
mine as I stared up at the blue sky, now oddly filling with smoke. I could
barely hear anything, only see his head shaking back and forth as he lowered
himself, hands on his thighs. His lips moved, but no sounds were coming out. I
tried to read what he was saying, but I couldn’t. My head hurt, and felt sticky
around the back. I tried to make a noise, tell Reign that I was deaf, that life
hurt and I wouldn’t mind being dead again. But then my eyes closed, and stayed
closed for a good long while.

Two days, from what they
tell me.

When I came to, I was more
sure than ever that I’d died. Because, impossibly, she was there.
That means she’s dead too,
I remember
thinking, the mellow ache in my bones nothing compared to the ache in my heart.

I was in my own apartment,
though, which made no sense. Cass was sleeping in the corner, on a chair pulled
in from the dining room. Outside, it was either dawn or dusk, the dark pinkish
light streaming in through the window, falling on my blanket, which felt too
heavy for life.

“Shit!”

Well, I guess I’m not in heaven,
I thought. The voice though…it was
Rein’s. It came from down the hall. It was accompanied by a clatter, the sound
of something spilling. The noise woke Cass up, too, and she blinked, bleary,
her neck obviously aching from how she’d been sitting with her chin cupped
against a fist.

“What’s wrong,” she said in
a voice that was probably meant to carry across the room, but was scratchy and
soft with sleep. She yawned. I was still just lying there, taking stock of my
body, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. What had happened. How
I’d gotten here. Shutting my eyes, I tried to think of the last thing I could
remember:

Heat. Light. Being airborne.
The sickening drop. My head on pavement. Reign’s face hovering above mine.

For the first time, I
noticed the bandage wrapped around my head, and lifting one heavy hand,
fingered it.

It didn’t occur to me to say
anything, yet. To say hi. To say something clever like, “Oh, were you waiting
for me?”

But my movement must have
caught
Cass’
eye because an instant later, she was at
my side, pulling at one of my eyes.

“Trigger? Trigger? Oh my
God, you moved, Trigger, you’re okay! Oh my God, Reign, REIGN, he’s awake! He’s
awake! Thomas, shit!” she said, her voice loud against my still-throbbing
temple, but still somehow angelic.

“Baby, please,” I managed to
say. “No more shouting.”

Shit, I was
thirsty.
I hadn’t realized just how
thirsty I was until I spoke. Cass began to cry, big wet sobs, and threw herself
across the bed on top of me. It hurt, but not nearly as good as it felt to have
her flesh against mine.

Reign appeared in the
doorway, a grateful grin on his face.

“About time, sleeping
beauty,” he said. “We’ve been worried about you. You are one lucky
idiot,
do you know that?”

“What happened?” I asked. “I
need water…”

Rising herself and wiping
the tears from her cheeks,
Cass’
hand shook as she
brought me the glass of water that had been left on the nightstand. It was
tepid, and I saw some dust in it, which led me to believe it had been there for
a while, but it didn’t matter. It was water. I finished the glass in two gulps,
still thirsty for more. I held it out to Cass, who took it, her hands still
shaking, her mouth moving though no words came out.

“Can I have some more?” I
asked.

“You can have anything you
want, baby,” she said, hustling away to refill the glass.

“I’m
gonna
take you up on that, Cass,” I said after her, wanting to yell but not having
quite the strength to do so. She heard me though, and turned to me with a
tear-stained smile.

“Cheeky,” she said, before
disappearing. Reign approached, watching her leave.

“You were right, you know,”
he said, turning his eyes to me. “She seems worth it to me. Sat right here for
two days waiting for you to wake up. Refused to leave your side.
Kinda
psychotic, really…”

“Two days? What the hell –
where did I get shot? I don’t feel…” I looked down, looking for the telltale
signs of a bullet wound.

“You didn’t
get
shot,” Reign said patiently.

“Did I get hit? Did they hit
me with their car?” He shook his head no.

Something
must have happened, though. I knew that much; you
didn’t wake up after a two-day sleep feeling as achy as I did without
something
happening. I looked up at
Reign, the question in my eyes. Cass reappeared, handing me the water, of which
I downed half in a single gulp.

“Do you know what Puck did
in the military?” Reign asked, and I shook my head. “Bomb squad. And I guess,
if you’re
gonna
defuse ‘
em
,
they teach you how to make ‘
em
.”

“Motherfucker
blew me up?
” I asked, amazed.

“Not you, stupid,” Reign
said. “The heavies. He set up a detonator from his phone, waited ‘til they got
close to the bomb, blew those motherfuckers into the sky.”

I was silent for a moment,
letting the words sink in. I owed that boy a thank you, regardless of what had
gone down between us beforehand.

“Are we still in the shit?”
I asked. “Did we get ‘
em
all or…”

“Well, far as I understand,
the brothers in question weren’t in the cars, so they’re still out there. But I
wager they’re
gonna
think twice sending anyone else
out. We took out a good number of their posse, at least. If they’re smart,
they’ll cut their losses.”

“I sure fuckin’ hope so,” I
said. Cass reached down and grabbed my hand.

“You got knocked out by the
blast,” she said softly. “The doctor said you were okay, but he didn’t know
when you’d wake up. I’m…I’m just so glad…”

“I know, Cass,” I said, her
hand warm on mine. “You know…you…you were the last thing I thought of…I thought
I was dead…and my only regret…”

I didn’t need to finish the
sentence. Didn’t want to; I knew the more I talked, the more tears would fall
from her eyes. Even if they were happy tears.

“How are you feeling,
anyway?” Reign asked. “I was just here
makin
’ coffee
for your girl…”

“My old lady,” I said,
interrupting. I looked up at Cass. “If that’s what she wants.”

“Oh, Trigger…you
are
dumb,” she said, a wet laugh through
her tears. “You know damn well that’s what I want.”