Susan stood and walked to the opposite
side of the table where her father sat. She brushed the crumbs that missed his
plate into her hand then wiped them over the napkin next to it. She felt the
gentle touch of his fingers against her skin stopping her movements.
“I like coming over here. Besides,
there’s no one who peaks my interest at the moment to warrant me spending time
anywhere else,” she said as she pressed her lips at his receding hairline.
“You never were a good liar, you know,”
he called after her when she took their dishes into the kitchen.
No, she never had been
. The ache in
her chest she’d felt since she found out Josiah had left, had only intensified
as the weeks started turning into months. She’d tried to brush it off,
attributing it to the loss of her mother, but as time ticked by slower than a
bottle of molasses on an Alaskan winter day the truth of this particular pain
lay in the loss of Josiah and nothing else. She’d been prepared for her
mother’s passing, although it had been difficult it was an inevitable event
that she and her father knew would come to pass sooner than later. Josiah’s
leaving had been unexpected. Even though Susan had no right to feel any kind of
hurt over it, the ache still settled in the center of her chest and made it
often difficult to get a good cleansing breath. She’d refused his phone calls,
refused his attempt at comforting her on what possibly was the worst day of her
life, and she’d completely shut him out. Yet, here she stood in the home she
grew up in with an ache that tore at the very fibers of her being, wishing like
hell that he were here.
Susan finished rinsing off the dishes
and placed them in the dishwasher. Drying her hands, she turned to find her father
leaning against the door frame leading into the kitchen. His eyes met hers with
a knowing that always astounded her.
“He’s the one I saw you with at the
church, right?”
“Who?” she asked as if by playing dumb
her father would drop the conversation.
“The young man who’s got your head all
messed up.”
“My head is not messed up,” she responded,
folding the hand towel she used to dry her hands with into a small square and
placing it on the counter.
“Mmmhmm. Listen here, little girl. I
didn’t raise you to run away from things that are unfamiliar or a little scary.
I don’t expect to see you doing it now.”
“I’m not running away from anything. He’s
the one that left. He’s the one who took the first flight to Texas after mom’s
funeral, not me,” she said leaning her back to the counter as she kicked the
heel of her foot against the toe of her other.
Her father glanced down at her feet, the
corners of his mouth raising. “Then go get him and bring him back.”
“Dad, just drop it. He’s gone and I’ve
not given him a good reason to come back here.”
Faster than she thought the man could
move, her father stood in front of her with his nose almost touching hers. “Then
give him a reason. Your mother is gone. She has been for a while, even before
her body decided it was time to go. You walking through this life miserable
will not bring her home or undo anything that has been done.”
“I should have been there when she
passed away,” Susan said.
“Why? So you could say goodbye to her? Baby,
she wouldn’t have even known you said it. Why do you think I waited until she
was already gone to call you? I didn’t want that to be your last memory of your
mother. Don’t you see that?”
Susan stood silent as the tears she’d
come to accept made their way down a path they’d traveled too often over the
past two months. Some had been shed for her mother, others for Josiah. Today a
mixture of both over the loss of the woman who gave her life and the man who’d
shown her happiness in the midst of a life filled with turmoil.
“How do I convince him?” she asked her
father as he wiped away her tears.
“Only you know that, baby girl.”
Chapter 26
Josiah watched as his phone vibrated
against the mahogany table sitting in his parents’ kitchen as he flipped a
grilled cheese sandwich wondering if he should answer it or just let it go to
voicemail. He shut off the flame beneath the pan and snatched his phone just in
time to see that it was Rowan calling.
“Rowan, buddy,” he said after answering
and pressing the speaker button.
“J! How’s it going over in big T?”
“Couldn’t be better,” he lied through
gritted teeth. “How are things there? How’s Madison feeling these days?”
“Yeah, well that’s why I’m calling. We
need you to come back to California. I sent you an email confirmation with your
plane ticket.”
“Why? What’s happened? Is Madison okay?”
“She’s great. Seems like we’re going to
have a wedding this next weekend and I, we, want you there.”
Josiah lowered himself to the high back
chair that matched the table unable to form any words at the declaration Rowan
had just made. A wedding and so quickly? The pieces began to knit together
within his mind. Madison had been so sick and dehydrated that it cost a visit
to the emergency room. Neither she nor Rowan ever took the time to tell anyone
why she’d been so sick, but now it make perfect sense. Josiah shook his head,
berating himself for not seeing the signs. Madison and Rowan were getting
married because she was pregnant. Neither he nor Rowan said anything for a long
moment.
“Rowan, you know I’m not one to pry. To
each his own I always say. But are you marrying her because she’s pregnant?”
Rowan’s laughter echoed throughout the
kitchen. “No, I’m marrying her because I love her and I don’t want to live my
life without her. She just happens to be carrying my child. She wants to get
married before she’s further along in her pregnancy. You’ll be here, right?”
“I wouldn’t miss it for anything,”
Josiah said sitting dumbfounded.
After he ended the conversation with Rowan
he finished up his lunch then sauntered to the room he’d grown up in and now found
as his residence until he could get a place of his own. The room sat as it had
when he’d graduated high school. An old twin bed with a dark wood headboard sat
in the middle of the room along with a matching nightstand off to the left of
it. A four drawer dresser that matched the rest of the furniture was pushed
cattycorner near a single door closet. The closet held various games from his
childhood that his mother refused to throw away. Most with torn boxes or
missing pieces. Even the Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots had looked as if they’d taken
too many punches to the head. She’d always said she wanted to keep them for
when he brought her grandchildren over for a visit. Josiah lowered himself to
the bed and shoved his hands through his thick dark hair. The rate he was
going, there would never be any grandchildren, at least not from him.
He grabbed his laptop from the desk
across the room and plopped down on the bed. True to his word, when Josiah
opened his email, one of the first messages he saw was from Rowan with the
subject line…
Get Your Ass to Cali
. Josiah let out a laugh as he opened
it. Along with the confirmation for his ticket had been an itinerary for the
wedding. Not much to it as it seemed it would be held at Rowan’s house, or
rather on the beach near his house with just a few guests. There hadn’t been a
list of names added, but Josiah couldn’t help but wonder if Susan would be
there. Last he’d heard from Rowan, she hadn’t been very sociable since the
funeral. Josiah pushed the thought from his mind as quickly as he let it enter.
He’d spent the last couple months trying to forget Susan. He didn’t give two
blows to the wind whether she showed up or not. That’s what his mind kept telling
his heart, at least.
Rowan hadn’t wasted any time. Josiah’s
flight was scheduled to leave at eight the following morning. Good thing he had
nothing going on in his life where he could just pick up and go. He clicked the
link for the airline in the email and did the online check-in then printed his
ticket. Packing would be easy as he hadn’t really unpacked since he’d gotten home
from his last trip out to California. He’d only be there a couple days so he
tossed in a few clean t-shirts, his board shorts, just in case he and the guys
were able to catch some waves in between the festivities, and an outfit for the
wedding. Simple khaki slacks and a white button up was all Rowan requested.
Typical
beach wedding
. Josiah thought as he tossed in the last of the necessities
he’d need.
****
Susan wore a path in Madison’s living
room as she paced the floor, biting at her thumb nail while she waited for
Tessa to return from Rowan’s. When the door flung open unexpectedly, her body
spun to the direction of the sound startled by the banging that accompanied it.
She’d about bit off the tip of her thumb from the sudden jerk of the door.
“What the hell, Tess? You almost scared
the life out of me,” Madison responded before Susan could say a word.
Susan stood waiting for news from the
other camp, as Tessa caught her breath from the short run over from Rowan’s
place. When Tessa arrived at her apartment earlier in the day, she’d informed
Susan that Josiah was coming into town. She’d also relayed to her that Rowan
told Josiah that he and Madison were getting married this weekend and that he
needed to attend the ceremony. Really, it was a half-lie and a half-truth, as
Rowan pointed out. He and Madison did plan on getting married, but they’d
decided to wait until after the baby was born. Which the news of a baby was
another shocker thrown up at Susan that flew from Tessa’s lips as if she were
reading off a weather report. Tessa had said they knew it would be the only way
to get him back to California so that he and Susan could patch things up. Whoever
gave them the idea in the first place that things needed to be patched was
beyond her, but as she stood just yards from where Josiah would be making an
appearance, her heart beat erratically in her chest. According to Tessa, he had
no idea Susan would be anywhere near Rowan’s place and so the anxiety of seeing
him got bumped up a few notches after she’d arrived at Madison’s and learned
that tidbit of information. Susan had just shaken her head, knowing that if
Tessa wanted something, Tessa made it happen. And arguing about it would be as
futile as trying to yank the horns from a bull. It would be a waste of time and
energy.
Since her conversation with her father, Susan
had wanted to talk to Josiah, to apologize to him for being an ass, but she’d
not had the courage to do so. He’d told her to find a way to convince Josiah to
come back, but who in their right mind would want to have anything to do with someone
who’d basically shunned them? So, she’d gone about her life, trying to live as if
she’d never spent a moment with him. She tried unsuccessfully to put their
night of passion out of her mind, while her body refused to let her forget. Now,
she stood in Madison’s house amidst the multitude of boxes Madison had packed
up so that she could move all of her belongings in with Rowan and waited along
with the rest of them, her thumbnail the recipient of abuse due to her anxiety.
Chapter 27
Josiah stretched his jean clad legs,
placed his hands over his head and pulled all the tightness that had rested in
his muscles on the flight to LA from his body. The salty air from the ocean
drifted up into his nose and he welcomed it like a lover who had been from his
arms too long. He couldn’t wait to feel a surfboard under his feet or the water
crash against his body as he rode on wave after rolling wave. His last trip out
reminded him of the peace the ocean offered him and he missed it even more when
he’d gone home to Texas than when he’d left for the Marines. He watched as the
water lapped at the shore and decided not to wait too long before he threw on
his shorts to feel the slap of the ocean against his skin.
“Do we have time to hit some waves?” he
asked Rowan as he pulled his duffle bag from the backseat.
“Unfortunately, not today. Madison is
moving her things in. Sorry to have to put you to work right away. I hope you
don’t mind.”
“Not at all,” Josiah said. “Let me just
toss my bag inside and I’ll be right over.”
Rowan nodded as he headed to Madison’s while
Josiah walked into the house to deposit his belongings. He wondered if the
spare room he used the last time would still be available, with all the changes
taking place in Rowan’s life, he wasn’t sure. Maybe they’d already started
setting up a nursery, heaven knows, Rowan had been somewhat enthusiastic about
the prospect of a little one running around. Josiah didn’t even put it past
Rowan to already have a college fund set up for the kid. Much to his surprise,
as he pushed open the door to the room he occupied previously, it sat just as
he’d left it. Well, with the exception of new blue and red bedding set. He
tossed his bag along with his black Stetson to the bed, ran his fingers through
his hair to bring some life to it then headed out the door. On his way to
Madison’s, both she and Rowan were walking over with their hands full of boxes while
Tessa trailed behind them with a smile as wide as the Amazon River plastered on
her face.