Tripping on Love (5 page)

Only then did I remember that my lamb madras with free bhaji accompaniment was still on the supermarket shelf, waiting to be purchased. Lady luck was nowhere in sight.

CHAPTER NINE

As I approached our red brick Victorian terrace property, I noticed a fami
liar expensive four wheel drive parked nearby. Through the dark tinted window I could make out the outline of a slim woman draped over the steering wheel.

'Stella?’ I rushed towards the car and banged on the window. Reaching for the handle, I opened the driver’s side door and was greeted with puffy eyes and body ra
cking sobs.

'Honey what's wrong?' concern spilled out of me. Stella was clearly in a state and had been for some time.

'Why are you sitting crying by yourself in the car? Come on, let’s get you inside.’ I reached forward and grabbed her handbag from the passenger seat, whilst she desperately tried to prevent thick, black mascara aided tears, from streaking her face any further.

‘I-I tried calling you, I tried about five times but you didn’t answer’ she sobbed.

Damn Edward. Setting my mobile to silent mode had become a new habit. At least it prevented me from continual checks to ensure that the phone hadn’t suddenly broken. Or that reception wasn't being received. Neither had proved to be a problem. Yet.  The only glaringly obvious problem to date was Edward's lack of contact.

‘Sorry hon, it's on silent.’

I helped her out of the car, through the red street door and into the direction of the kitchen. She sat down at the small dining table with a sigh and blew her nose loudly into an already wet handkerchief.

Flicking on the kettle, I kicked off my shoes.
 

‘I popped to the supermarket to get groceries and ended up having a mini dilemma' I said flippantly.

Stella looked at me questioningly but I ignored her. She clearly wasn't in any fit state to listen to a commentary of my run in with Will.

'The icing on the cake was a middle aged housewife, pick-pocketing my purse.’

Stella's eyes widened in surprise. 'Thank my lucky stars that she was spotted by the security guard, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to offer you a cup of tea right now, let alone your favourite biscuit.’ I reached into my carrier bag and pulled from it a large packet of sugary biscuits.

Stella’s face lit up as she immediately opened the packet and picked up a swirly pink treat.

'You got pick pocketed?' her serious tone returned and her body stiffened. Her older, sisterly instinct could always be relied upon.  Being twenty eight years of age didn’t matter; she would always look out for me. 'And what is this dilemma?'

'Doesn't matter now, it’s resolved and my dilemma was forgetti
ng to buy any dinner for myself’ I lied, keeping my voice light to try to lift the heavy atmosphere.

‘So are you going to explain why I've found you sitting heartbroken on my doorstep?’ I looked at her with concern waiting for her to explain her presence.

Stella's hard demeanour crumbled and she dropped her head into her hands.

‘Oh Lizzie, I’ve been so stupid.’

I noticed a sheepish look sweeping across her face.

‘I mean, Miles is hardly ever home, always working late, attending business dinners or work events. When he does decide to put in an appearance, you’d think
I was his personal maid the way he treats me’ her voice began to rise.

‘Gone are the days of greeting me with a kiss, these days it’s a grunt. If I'm lucky. And that’s only during sex. Even that’s taken a back seat. We used to have marathons, nowadays it’s a chore once a fortnight. The closest I get to a marathon is watching it on the television.'

I listened not interrupting. Stella's sad and disharmonic energy was overwhelmingly present. When had her marriage reached this stage? How had I not noticed?

'He even told me the other day, not to go to the trouble of preparing the salmon en croute I'd heated in the microwave. Apparently he isn’t keen. I would have been grateful, but for the fact that he’s worryingly forgotten I can’t boil an egg. Emily has been our nanny-come-cook for the past five months. Five months! And he hasn’t even noticed. I am at my wit’s end Lizzie’ her face began to crumble again.

'Maybe he's got a lot on his plate with work' I suggested carefully.

For as long as Miles and Stella had been an item, I couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t have a business call glued to his ear or an email that he had to respond to. I sometimes wondered if he was a sadist. It wasn't normal for someone to live and breathe their work in the way that he did.

‘Nearly a year Lizzie, that's how long I've been unhappy for. Questioning my relationship day in, day out. It's not healthy' she looked down sadly at the half eaten biscuit in front of her, wrapping her hands around the rapidly cooling mug of tea she'd barely touched.

'I guess I can hardly be blamed for getting a bit carried away with someone at work, can I?’ she lifted her eyes to meet mine. Then swiftly glanced away again, unable to hold my stare.

I sat up straight in the dining chair, in shock.

'Carried away with someone at work? Stella! Are you mad? You are willing to throw a ten year relationship down the drain, for a quick fumble by the photocopier? Please tell me you
are joking?’ I said indignantly.

‘See’ she whined ‘I haven’t even told you anything yet and already you’re judging.' She stood up straightening her dress.

'Forget it, I knew you wouldn’t understand. I’ve made a mistake coming here.’ She reached for her bag and car keys.

I jumped up quickly to stop her. In my haste, tipping over my half full cup of coffee that bled its way towards the edge of the table and onto the floor.

'Shit' I muttered, grabbing a tea towel and chucking it on the spillage.

Stella walked towards the door. ‘Thanks for the tea, I’m off home now and please don’t mention any of this to mother. You’ll only worry her and create more drama for me to deal with.’

I tried to grab her arm as she walked out of the room.

‘Stella, don’t be so silly, come back. Of course I understand. I’m sorry. It just came as a bit of a shock
, that’s all.’

She paused at the front door and turned back to look at me.

‘Just because you think I have the perfect marriage doesn’t mean I do. I’m not happy Lizzie. Regardless of what anyone thinks or says – I’m going to please myself for once. And do what I want to.'

I watched helplessly as she slowly and sadly walked towards her car without a backward glance and drove off.

I spent the rest of the evening strategically avoiding answering phone calls, through fear of having to listen to my mother rant about the latest ongoings.

Lost in thought over Stella’s situation, I didn’t hear Mel creep in and neither did I see the male accompaniment she had brought with her. Only as my focus settled on a pair of dirty navy lace up shoes, did I jump in shock. I looked up to see Hugo grinning at me.

‘Evening you. I didn’t mean to scare you' he said in his posh, elocute accent.

I pulled
the blanket draped over my feet towards my lower body. My short grey t shirt was hardly passable as nightwear, especially in front of guests. Even if it was only my weird next door neighbour. He was still a man.

'Hello Hugo' I smiled up
at him awkwardly, annoyed at the interruption.

'Didn’t you hear Mel call out as we came in? You looked like you were away with the fairies, although I wouldn’t be surprised if the television was the distraction. It’s loud enough for me to enjoy from my own living room’ he said cheerily.

He sat down on the sofa opposite me, oblivious to my less than chatty hosting skills.

‘Mel’s just making us all a hot chocolate. We went to see a brilliant play. Based on the life of Ted Hughes. Rather interesting and certainly something I’d like to see again’ he said thoughtfully.
 

Cupboards banged and cutlery clinked loudly from the kitchen. Goodness knows how Mel had managed to sit for two hours through a play without wanting to create a scene, when even making a hot drink was a drama.

She had the shortest attention span of anyone I knew.  I remembered back to when she’d treated me to tickets to a play written by a hot American actor, neither of us realising at the time that the actor wasn’t appearing in the play himself. After a very mundane hour of listening to abstract verse, Mel had found it necessary to jump up in the eerily quiet auditorium and shout ‘he’s behind you’ and laugh manically at herself. 

Needless to say, we were mortifyingly ushered out, whilst the actors pretended the incident had never happened and the audience gasped in horror.

It was worrying how Mel had managed to restrain this side of herself for a full two hours with Hugo. Did she really like him that much?

‘So a night in by yourself then?’ Hugo asked, leaning across and picking up the gossip magazine I’d been reading earlier. His face registered obvious distaste as he scanned the front cover.

I sighed wearily. 'Yes, I seem to be having quite a lot of these lately' I said, picking at the stray cotton threads of the cushion I was resting against.

'My best friend at the moment is Ben & Jerry’s. My life consists of all work and no play’ I added sulkily.

It wasn’t strictly true but I hadn’t been out since Carl's party, and I had noticed earlier that not only had I demolished the last of the biscuit stash, but also the ice cream stash. The worst part was, I didn’t even remember doing it. One spoonful here and there certainly added up.

Hugo nodded sympathetically.

‘Well Mel tells me you have an exciting new job. Something where you get to travel a lot? That's fantastic. I’ve always wanted to travel more. The furthest I’ve been so far is Athens.'

I suppressed a surprised laugh. Mel wasn’t one for many luxuries in life, but I knew she had much bigger aspirations than settling with somebody whose holiday highlight had most likely been an amphitheatre tour of
Athens.

‘Hello doll’ Mel appeared in the doorway with three steaming cups, haphazardly held in her hands.
  

‘Hot choccie for you both. Take it quick, it’s hot’ she said as I reached out for the silver glittery mug held in my direction.

Not only had she prepared hot chocolate adorned with a heaped spoonful of whipped cream; she’d also managed to rummage some marshmallows from somewhere. If only I’d known earlier we had marshmallows. I was definitely beginning to think she had a secret sweet stash she hadn’t told me about.

Mel curled up on the sofa next to Hugo, very cosy and close I noted. In fact, she was beaming. I saw the way his hand found hers and stroked her fingers. I smiled to myself, happy that Mel had found someone she felt comfortable with. The question was, how long would it last.... another day, a week... a month?

‘So,’ she began excitedly ‘I overheard something about travel. Was Hugo telling you all about our backpacking around Asia plans, for this summer?’

CHAPTER TEN

My affirmations were really beginning to kick in. I had awoken for the sixth consecutive day before the alarm clock had its chance to shrill. The so called self help 'trash', as Mel had referred to it, which I had purchased from the book store in a moment of madness and confusion, had resulted in a deep sense of new found spirituality.
 

I, who had once thought meditation meant humming to oneself and swaying like a loon, now understood it to be a wonderful way to get in tune with the inner self. Or at least to have fifteen minutes of peace and quiet without unnecessary interruptions. I had found that telling people I was off to meditate, created a reaction similar to something I would expect had I said I was off to masturbate. They looked at me oddly and kept their distance, the exact outcome I had needed and hoped for.

The crazy week of my rendezvous with Will, supermarket pick pocketing incident and Stella's revelation, were all well behind me. Saturday had come around once again and I was looking forward to meeting Carl for lunch. 

Since his birthday party, we hadn't had a chance to meet for our usual get together due to his work commitments.
  Over a phone conversation to arrange lunch, he'd informed me of his new love interest, Stuart, who had a spiky pink Mohican and a 'great tight arse'. Stuart sounded as promising as Dan and Harold had just three weeks previous.

I quickly dressed and glanced at myself in the full length mirror, remembering to affirm that I looked amazing and radiated wholesome beauty. The book had informed that within
weeks of repeated affirmations, I would truly begin to see desired results. I wasn't entirely sure what 'wholesome beauty' would look like. Would I begin to resemble a nutritional but pretty bag of Quinoa?

I couldn’t wait to tell Carl about my new exercise regime, even Mel had commented on how much happier I seemed since I had started it. The self help books had also influenced this new pathway, teaching that exercise created a clear mind and body. Given that Edward had been cluttering much of my thoughts, I decided that I was in need of a mind workout.

Jogging was my chosen form, by way of exercise.  Samantha had happily asked me to join her on her morning running circuit once she'd discovered my intentions. However I quickly set her straight. Why would any sane person want to jog outside in all weather conditions be it sun, rain or wind?

The living room was the perfect circuit for me. The added bonus being that I didn’t need to invest in trainers or sportswear, my pyjamas and tote socks worked just as effectively. Even the running machines at the gym couldn’t offer the same amount of entertainment choice as the living room television. Both music channel and soaps fought for my attention as I jogged around the room in circles.

This morning, I had introduced weight lifting into my regime. My arm muscles had began to ache within minutes of attempting to repeatedly lift the two, extra large cans of tinned sweetcorn above my head. Despite this, I had pressed on, fighting through the agony until I had managed the obligatory ten minutes the book had suggested. It had paid off; my arms were looking ever so slightly more defined.

Carl was waiting impatiently, already seated at the long bench table in the sushi bar where I'd agreed to meet him.
 

'Hey girlie' he stood up to kiss me on both cheeks, casting an admiring glance at my new crystal bead bracelet.

'I love it, I want one' he said gently touching the multi faceted edges of the beads.

The bracelet had been sold to me by the same lady that had recommended the self help book section. Each uniquely coloured crystal boasted different properties. Currently, most of my hope was pinned on the pink bead; rose quartz. Supposedly harnessing powers to bring about love and romance. I'd given it a week to work its magic, otherwise Carl would be welcome to it.

Carl's newly bleached hair stood out against his deeply tanned skin.  I noted he'd already ordered his food as a waiter set down a bowl of edamame and a plate of salmon sashimi in front of him.

'I like your new hair; suits you' I said before giving the waiter my usual order and helping myself to a piece of the salmon on Carl's plate.

Carl nodded his gratitude, too busy crunching on the salted edamame. He looked up suddenly mid mouthful and his eyes widened.

'Before I forget, as there's too much to catch up on' he winked slyly.

Knowing Carl, he was referring to himself and all that he wished to update me with. He wasn't one for impeccable manners or feigning interest in anyone's life but his own.

'A business associate of mine, Edward, came to my party. Apparently he's been trying to contact you?'

The salmon lodged itself in my throat as I spluttered in surprise, completely caught off guard.

Carl shoved forward his glass of Elderberry juice with a hasty 'Drink' instruction. I did as I was told, trying to calm both my breathing and my nerves. I finally found my voice as the consumed salmon found its way down into my stomach.
 

'He's been trying to contact me? What do you mean? What did he say?'

I waited impatiently as Carl chewed his salmon slowly, my stomach dancing with suspense.

Oblivious to my interest, Carl shrugged his shoulders.

'Just that he'd been trying to call but the number you gave him wasn't correct. I told him I’d get you to call him.'

'You did what?!' I said loudly.

A wave of nausea swept through me. Edward was expecting my call. I would have to call Edward. I sunk my face into my hands as Carl looked at me defensively.

'What did I do? I thought it was to discuss a job proposal? I didn’t want to give him your number just in case you'd purposefully given him the wrong one.'

I lifted my head in disbelief. 'Carl, I have been waiting for over two weeks for Edward to call me to ask me out. I have practically been in purgatory waiting for my mobile to ring.'

He suddenly had the good grace to stop eating as realisation sunk in.

'Oh right, I see' was all he managed by way of apology.

'When did Edward contact you to tell you this?' I asked trying to keep my voice calm and the irritation I was feeling from flaring into anger.

'Last week I think. He sounded very keen to talk with you. In fact, he was quite insistent that I give him your number.'

My irritation dispelled and I felt my emotions floating upwards into a happy bubble of excitement. Edward was very keen to talk to me.

Carl retrieved his wallet from his small suede messenger man bag. Flicking it open he located what he was looking for.

'Edward's business card.' He held out the thick black matt card towards me.

Embossed in sleek platinum coloured engraving was the name Edward Wainwright, followed by three international mobile options.

'Thanks' I said taking the card and inspecting it closely.

It held no further secrets. I secured it within the zipped compartment of my purse with the same amount of care and delicacy as I would handle a butterfly.

My food arrived just as Carl was finishing his last mouthful.
Almost calculatedly, whilst I ate he took the opportunity to launch into details of his new relationship with Stuart. Not pausing for breath, he talked whilst I nodded encouragingly.

My mind drifted to Edward and the phone call I would have to make when I returned home. I suppressed an anxious frown and tried to concentrate on Carl as he recounted Stuart's willingness to share a bath together.
Quite frankly, the bath antics of the gay lovers was as far removed from my level of interest as learning a knitting pattern. 

Edward's face floated into my thoughts and I let myself surrender to the daydream.

----------

The house was empty upon my return home, my head still clouded by Carl's incessant two hours of chatter. I sat quietly on the sofa, grateful for the peace and stillness. I needed to collect my thoughts. Edward's business card was rested upon my lap, mockingly taunting my self esteem every time I looked downwards.

The clock hands on the large display opposite to me slowly made their way around the face, as I sat and stared into the distance.

Only when the clock chimed and I realised that I had been lost in an altered state of consciousness for quite some time, did I focus on the mobile phone held in my right hand.
     

Taking a deep breath, I concentrated on the business card before me. It was time to make the call. After two weeks of assumed rejection, I would finally get to speak to the man I had been waiting upon.
But would it be all I hoped for?