Authors: Margit Liesche
Before Ãvike could block it, a vision of boys dangling from lamp posts intruded in her imagination. She dropped the drawing, put her head on the desk and covered it with her arms.
Ãvike's mother entered the room, went to the radio, spun the knob. “Yes, I know. These announcers repeat themselves. Still, it is wonderful news, don't you think? Listen.”
Her mother was beside her. She lifted Ãvike's arms from her head and was holding her daughter's hands. She gave a squeeze, then released her grip.
In the background, Free Radio at Szabolcs-Szatmar: “
â¦
a division of Russian troops has crossed the River Tisza, ready to be evacuated. Other divisions to the south are also on the moveâ¦.'
Ãvike sat up. Her mother's eyes were ringed with dark circles, and she looked weary, but there was a glimmer of happiness that she had not seen in the past week.
The plan was to help Josef write up the breaking news from Nagy, and then venture from the Buda side over to Pest. Ãvike's ankle was completely better and with the break in the fighting, her mother wanted to go out again, get information on her husband's whereabouts and check on little Dórika. They had not received any word about Dóra and the baby since leaving them at the hospital.
Days earlier, Ãvike had been stunned by a broadcast about the shelling of a clinicâinfants lying unprotected in their cribs killedâonly to feel some relief that the attack had been on Budapest's Children's Clinic, not Péterfy Sándor utca hospital where Dórika was. Then, the guiltâ
You're an ugly troll. How can you feel anything resembling a good feeling? Babies died!
Dórika was like her little sister. More than anything she needed the baby to be okay.
What about your teacher
, the niggling voice from somewhere deep inside her brain asked?
What has happened to her?
Ãvike, her fist clenched, squeezed her nails into the flesh of her palm until it hurt.
Maybe while they were out, asking questions, they could also get information about the teacher. But then she would have to tell her mother about the Kossuth drawing, about Gombóc, about what she'd done. And she couldn't. Earlier, Ãvike had thought her mother wouldn't understand her sense of guilt. She'd been protecting her mother, after all. Why regret that? But protecting her from what? What real evidence had Gombóc had? No, she'd been a fool. Against everything her mother had taught her, Ãvike had caved. For nothing. The Soviets were on the run.
“It won't be long now,” her mother was saying. She snapped the radio off. “We're just waiting for Zoltan who has been at the Parliament building. We need his firsthand account. He's due any minute. What are you drawing?”
The radio was on a table beside the large desk at the front of the room. She circled the desk, walking to Ãvike as Josef entered. He nodded to Ãvike and smiled broadly. She returned his smile then began sketching again. She knew the adults would speak more freely if they believed she was otherwise occupied.
“I told them in the press room to let me know when Zoltan arrives.” Josef hesitated, combed his fingers through his hair. “Just after you left, Franciska, we got another bulletin about a truckload of food from Vienna disappearing.”
Ãvike quickened the movements of her pencil, filling in the pedestal she'd devised to hold the one-legged freedom fighter statue.
“The increase in crime, these random heists,” Josef continued, “I suspect it's related to the release of prisoners.”
Ãvike had been astonished to read in the last issue of
Truth
that rebel forces had liberated over five thousand prisoners in the past week, many of them coming from forced labor in the infamous Dorog mines, and others from notorious prisons, emaciated, many with limbs and minds crippled from torture.
The intent was to release political prisoners, but given the unreliable records system, with its forced confessions and fabricated paperwork, it was impossible to verify the identity of everyone. The opening of the prison doors had also freed a number of criminal sociopaths.
The account of a female British journalist, who had officially ceased to exist in 1949, had especially interested Ãvike. At the Budapest airport, about to board a plane back to England, the journalist had been arrested on Rakosi's orders on a trumped up charge of espionage. Thereafter, not a trace of her, not even a prison number, existed. British officials tried unsuccessfully to follow up. Eventually, when the rebels were releasing prisoners, the poor woman was set free. Ãvike was still shocked by the notion that someone could vanish but be alive somewhere. No one would know. And at some point, no one would care.
Good news had come through the grapevine about Tibi, the fellow student who had been taken by AVO from the café nearly two weeks earlier. The same girl who had announced Tibi's arrest at the PetÅfi Circle meeting had also reported to Josef that he was among those released. He'd fled the country soon afterward.
Ãvike selected a fresh sheet of paper and began drawing the British lady prisoner.
Forget Me Not,
she would call this one.
“Gunning down someone without proof of identity, it's wrong, “Joseph was saying. “Reckless summary justice. It reduces us to the level of the AVO scum.
“This morning,” he continued, “one of Maléter's men told me Maléter slapped a teenage rebel at Kilian. The boy had earrings in his pocket. Maléter told him he was lucky not to be shot.” Josef expelled a long sigh. “The makeup of our freedom fighters is changing. Many writers and students are retiring from the fight, workers returning to their factories. This new element is replacing them. And, well, now, my wife, Vera, would like us to leave.”
Ãvike had not heard this before. She was unable to resist looking up.
“Her pregnancy?” Ãvike's mother was asking.
Josef nodded. “Last night I had a nightmare. Vera, carrying our baby, being led to a bus that would take her to a labor camp. The Russians had returned.” Josef scrubbed a hand over his stubbled cheek. “I am nearly convinced it is time myself. Franciska you ought to be thinking of leaving, too. Take Ãvike.”
“Without Miklós? Never. Besides, Nagy may be making an agreement with the Russians, but it is not over. Yesterday at Móricz Zsigmond körtér, yes, there were queues of rebels turning in their guns, but just as many refused. âOur arms will only be handed over to Hungarian units after the Soviet army has left the country,' they were saying.” The mother shook her head. “No, Josef, we stay to the end.”
“But your daughter⦔ Josef was interrupted by a knocking on the door.
A tall, thin student entered wearing a beret and long woolen coat. Zoltan. His cheeks were rosy from being outdoors, bright red dots, like clown's makeup. He was clutching a spiral stenographer's notebook, a cigarette between his fingers.
“Complete bedlam. You should have been there. Imry finished his address, then boom, bam he's hit with appeals from the newly reconstituted political parties. I've got it all here.” Zoltan waved the notebook, then described waiting in the vast reception hall of Parliament alongside the Russian delegation's entourage.
“Behind the doors, inside the prime minister's office, delegates argued violently. At least two fistfights broke out.”
Josef had been frowning. “What are they thinking? Nagy came up with a reasonable solution. There's still work to do, but it is a start.”
Zoltan stubbed out his cigarette. “The delegate from GyÅr, for one, was adamant. Nagy must call for free elections within three months or tens of thousands of demonstrators will march on the capital and encourage the uprising to continue. With that,
he
marched out of the room.”
Josef shook his head sadly. “The revolution was started by Communists demanding only a better form of Communism. Now the picture has changed. They go too far.”
Zoltan nodded. “In any free elections, the Communists would be beaten.”
“And Moscow would lose a satellite,” Ãvike's mother added. “They will never allow it to happen.”
“It's like two high speed trains barreling down a track,” Josef said in a defeated voice. “The premier stands in the middle between irreconcilable forces converging on one another. And on him.” His shoulders heaved.
“But we have had encouraging news from the U.N.” The mother's bright tone sounded forced at first, but grew more animated as she continued. “The American Ambassador Lodge addressed the assembly. âWe cannot remain indifferent to the situation in Hungary,' he said. Surely the U.N. will intervene if the Soviets renege.”
It was Ãvike's mother in her glory. “And what about American Free Radio? You heard, Josef.” She was toe to toe with the
Truth
editor now. “The promises to land paratroopers in Budapestâ¦bring tanks. America is going to help roll back the Iron Curtain, they said.”
Josef had been staring directly into her mother's eyes without blinking. “Franciska, I think you should consider what I was saying earlier. Zoltan, let's go figure out how to write this up.”
I am regretting having worn my little black dress. Its scoop neck and short flared skirt are right for the heat but the color is a magnet for the sizzling late morning sun.
3744 ½ N. Southport. My destination, none too soon.
In a nostalgic holdover from the store's beginnings, besides printed materials,
Duna Utca
carries a limited selection of Hungarian records. The package under my arm contains Gustav's newly arrived boxed album set. My messenger girl service is Zsófi's doing, part of her scheme to get me out of the store.
Get me to go out with Gustav
, is more like it.
I had objected. Impossible! I'm still licking my wounds over Vaclav. Besides, Gustav is available. Translation: off-limits. I'm not ready for commitment, love.
You're turning 38
â¦
If not now, when?
When I can forgive myself. Love myself.
Gustav is attractive, sexy, talentedâ¦
The ping ponging internal bantering had begun last evening while I'd been unstitching Vaclav's
Dream
piece. This morning, I awoke still unsettled by the pesky exchange. And wary of seeing Gustav again. Especially alone.
So when Zsófi asked me to deliver the package, I'd dug in my heels.
“But he will not even be home,” she'd assured me. And against my better judgment I'd given in.
If I wasn't feeling so vulnerable, I might laugh off such a scheme to couple us. Isn't it bad enough that I'm entering middle age? Gustav is ten years older, closer to Zsófi's age. Why didn't
she
want him? Ahh! She wanted to push him off on me, the pathetic spinster only an aging bachelor could appreciate.
Prehistoric
bachelor whose idea of fun is making fancy layered gelatin molds, gardening, listening to albums that come in boxed sets.
Well, I huff under my breath, continuing to shore up my proverbial defenses. I will not pair up nicely with an eccentric old fart, thank you very much.
Shifting the square paper-wrapped parcel from one hand to the other, tucking it against my side, I duck into the shaded passage running alongside the main house, following a flagstone path toward the rear of the home. Pale lilac rhododendrons line the walkway that, in back, opens to reveal a converted two-story brick-faced garage. Flowers flourish in patches of dirt around a flagstone patio. Above, pots of colorful flowers peer out from the edge of a wooden deck. Along a stockade fence to my right are a climbing tomato plant and several sweet bell pepper plants. A wooden switchback staircase leading to the upstairs unit juts out in front of the vegetable patch.
Home of Famed Photographer and Jell-O King Gustav Szigeti,
I pronounce wryly, passing a bed of nasturtiums like those festooning the gelatin heart he'd made. On the small landing between the first and second flight I peer over the railing. The heart's tricolors are repeated in the colorful Hungarian pattern painted on a bird house below.
I step onto the deck. The paned-glass French doors have been left open. I shift my parcel. Zsófi had not identified the recording artist or the type of music inside, and I imagine Gypsy violin music. Classic Hungarian
Csardas
music, perhaps. Something fussy and decrepit.
I look for a place to leave my delivery. There's a half second delay before I sense movement.
Gustav. He's been crouched with his back to me at a long work table positioned against the wall across the room and is just now getting up, a large framed photograph in his hands. A snug-fitting t-shirt defines his sculpted physique, and I once again think:
Baryshnikov,
and am forced to withdraw “old fart.”
I clear my throat.
Gustav turns, smiles. “Ildikó. What a nice surprise.” He crosses the room, waving me inside. “What brings you here? Come in, come in.”
“Well, no⦔ Amid the calm, I am suddenly on edge. “I can't stay. Gotta get back. Zsófi wanted me to bring thisâ”
I hold out the package. A phone mounted on the wall behind the work table rings.
“Sorryâ¦a minute,” Gustav says over his shoulder. He grabs the receiver.
I have not strayed far from the entrance. I take in the large rectangular open space with its minimal furnishings. White dominates, but the honey-colored wood of the high-beamed ceiling and plank floors lend texture and warmth. To my far right, a white sofa and black chair comprise a comfortable sitting area; to my left, a wooden island defines the kitchen.
“Yes, all twenty are framed, ready to bring over,” Gustav is saying. “No, do not bother. I have my pickup. Was about to load up⦔
He is preparing for one of the gallery showings Zsófi had talked about.
I hazard a few more steps inside. The dining table is barren except for a sheer parchment sleeve containing an 8 x 10 black and white photograph.
“I am wrapping the last piece. Be there soon.”
Gustav replaces the receiver in its cradle. My focus narrows on the picture. I am expecting to view a sample from his upcoming exhibit, perhaps a beautiful model or an architecturally significant structure, representations of the trademark work Zsófi had raved about. Instead, it is an image from the '56 Hungarian uprising. A young couple, walking hand in hand, looks sideways, away from the camera, as if someone is calling to them. The youthful man wears a fur hat and long coat. His partner, a striking woman with large eyes and dark hair, is also dressed for the cold in a long quilted jacket. They both carry rifles and the man wears an ammunition belt strapped at his waist. In the background, part of a building with Hungarian writing on it has crumbled, presumably under the impact of artillery fire. Yet their faces show no fear.
“You have brought me something?”
Gustav is beside me. He palms the photo.
“Er, yes. Zsófi made meâ¦
asked
me to deliver this.” I slide the box onto the table. I hesitate but a second. “That photoâ” I nod to his hand. “I saw similar images in
Life
magazine, when I was a girl. Is that an original? How did you come across it?”
A blank stare. “I really cannot say. I need to finish packing this last piece,” he says. “The curator is waiting. May I offer you a lift back to the store?”
I trail him to the work area, talking to his back. “What do you mean?
I really cannot say
. You can't or you
won't
say?”
Gustav stops and I pause beside him.
He says nothing. Still, I get the message. It's none of my business.
He opens a drawer in the table, slips the parchment sleeve inside.
On top of the table, a large sepia-toned photo is centered on a precut sheet of brown butcher paper. Gustav lifts the ends and begins folding the sections over the glass. I catch a glimpse of the portrait before the ends close over it.
“Wait, please. Can I see?”
Gustav's shoulders relax. He smiles. “
Persze
, of course.”
The paper parts to reveal an arresting young woman with pale eyes. Her nose is long and narrow; her lips slightly parted as if she is about to say something. Her white peasant blouse with full sleeves and lacy low neckline stands out against the muted background. A velvet choker holds an elaborately forged confection of swirled gold at her neck. A ring-laden hand positioned on the skirt of her dark dirndl is also distinctive. The overall effect is subtle. Simple. Striking.
“Exquisite.” It's all I can say.
“An honest photograph.”
“Yes. And exquisite,” I repeat.
Other photos in various sizesâcommercial shots of brides and grooms, frail elderly couples, smiling babiesâstand propped against the wall along the rear of the work table.
Gustav notices my gaze. “My bread and butter.” He rips a line of masking tape and nods to the framed object he is sealing. “My heart work.”
“Your heart work is about to have a gallery show. One of many, according to Zsófi. You should be proud.”
Gustav shrugs. “A small space in the German cultural center down the street.”
“But the show is exclusively your work, right?” I venture. “Portraits?”
Gustav nods. “Awhile now, I have been taking shots in the neighborhoods. Mainly it is the festivals that interest me. I go, see the costumes, search out interesting faces. Early on, I begin to understand the clothing symbolizes a connectedness to social identity, culture. We are all jeans and Gap these days.” He looks down at his faded jeans and black t-shirt, laughs. “But the ethnic costumes, well, besides symbols of the richness of heritage, they are markers of otherness. Good to preserve.”
“And this woman's heritage?” I ask referring to the freshly sealed photo.
“Italian. Other representations that will be on display in the showing capture more elaborate costumes, but I am also interested in the faces.”
I nod appreciatively, recalling the Italian woman's eyes.
Gustav is staring at me. “You have a good face.”
“Like my mother's?”
The pads of his fingers feel like soft leather against my skin as he cups my chin, angling my head in the light. A Cheshire grin. “Maybe. She was a beautiful woman.”
An awkward moment of silence follows. “You are very beautiful,” he whispers.
His fingertips feel suddenly on fire. They fall away. Had he felt the rush of heat as well?
I inch sideways.
“Chicago is such a rich ethnic mosaic,” he says, smoothing the brown paper wrapping. “I decided I will identify as many cultures as possible, then find faces representative for each. Faces with character. Next, I needed to convince the people to pose in their native finery, let me take their photograph.”
I smile vaguely. Something in me is definitely shifting. Not just because of what he'd said or what I'd felt in his touch. We hold a common interest. How could I not warm to that? Why hadn't Zsófi mentioned this?
“The immigrant women I work with almost always have a traditional costume they've brought with them from the old country,” I say. “It's like having a security blanket, comfort as they navigate the ups and downs of migration. Even after the familiar gets packed away, it's still somewhere close by, in a trunk, a closet, attic. Which makes what you're doing with your photographs all the more brilliantâ” The enthusiasm in my voice builds. “You're archiving a link before these heritages are discarded. Or, looking at it another way, before the materials disintegrate.”
Gustav runs his fingers through his already mussed hair. “Yes, maybe.”
He heaves the package off the table, crossing the room to where another wrapped bundle waits along the wall beside the French doors. “I'd like to know more about your work,” he says grasping the other parcel. “Perhaps you would want to be my guest for the opening night party?”
A date? Was he asking me for a date?
My insecurity over how to reply is conveniently diverted by a dramatic textile abstract in a black wooden frame.
“Gustav, this is amazing.” I move to stand before the art work.
Inside, a figure seems trapped, upside down, in a delicate black net. The net is made of linen threads knotted and formed using a lace-making technique, then stretched taut from the sides of the frame. The white wall surface introduces contrast but also makes the threads appear to float in space.
Next to me, Gustav holds a wrapped bundle in each hand, waiting, ready to go.
“Did you make this?”
“Yes.”
Well, well. A master photographer, Jell-O King
and
textile artist.
“Exquisite.”
***
Budapest, 30 October 1956
Ãvike could not remember when she last heard such laughter. Genuine laughter. The air was cool, the sky overcast and gray, but everywhere on the streets in Pest people were celebrating the Party's milestone change of direction, cheering the departure of the Soviets. The jovial bursts made her feel bubbly inside as they walked; she had not felt so carefree in a long time.
When a café owner, an acquaintance of Ãvike's mother, invited them inside where it was toasty warm, her bliss skyrocketed. He had sausages on rolls, and gave her one loaded with sauerkraut. She savored bite after bite while her mother, in between nibbles of her sausage roll, sipped
barack
, a strong apricot brandy, and talked with the café owner.
Returning outdoors, they navigated scarred streets, the wreckage of overturned streetcars, fallen wires, burned-out tanks, pulled up tracks, piles of cobblestones and blasted-out buildings, dampening Ãvike's spirit. Could the beauty and order of the former Budapest ever be restored?
The joy Ãvike had felt minutes earlier continued to deflate as she noticed the many black flags interspersed among the tricolors draped from windows. They passed yet another row of flag-covered corpses. Loved ones searching for loved ones, turning over the flags to inspect the bullet-riddled bodies. She looked away. Other people on the street seemed oblivious. They walked with purposeful stride or carried on conversations as if the bodies littering the street were an everyday occurrence.
She was drawn to the voices of children swarming over a pile of rubble, competing to collect empty cartridge shells as souvenirs. Then a boy from her class was coming toward them with a girl of about fifteen. His sister, Ãvike thought. They had machine guns slung over their shoulders and hand-grenades stuffed in their belts.
The mother recognized the boy as well. “Your weapons,” she said, stopping to talk with them. “You haven't put them down?”
The boy patted his gun affectionately. “From a dead Soviet soldier. Hers as well.” He gestured to the machine gun hanging from his sister's shoulder. “We will keep them. We earned them.” The boy glanced away. But not before Ãvike had seen the haunted look in her schoolmate's eyes.