Authors: Lynda LeeAnne
I couldn’t eat anymore. I met Tony’s eyes
again and asked, “Excuse me” because I forgot his question and it
really sounded like he was trying to start a fight.
Little did he know, I had no fight left.
“I told you not to leave the fuckin’ house,
Trish. How did you get here?” He demanded to know as he quickly
glanced around the diner to find the guilty party. I glanced back
at BJ who still stared at me and I was a little surprised to see
that she didn’t look smug. I’d have imagined it would make her
happy to hear Tony talking to me like I was a child.
“Tony, calm down. You shouldn’t talk to her
like that,” Bobbie Jo said in my defense, her country accent sweet
as pie.
At BJ’s suggestion, Tony dropped her hand
and stared at his own like he hadn’t realized he’d been holding
hers. He glared at her. “Stay out of this,” he ordered before his
eyes came back to me.
I stared at her. I wasn’t sure how I’d
missed it, but hadn’t realized just how pretty she was, and now
that I saw her up close, I hated her. Her long, shiny blonde hair
was straight and draped over one shoulder. She had a smooth, ivory
complexion and small facial features with big blue eyes. She was
about my height, five-six, skinny, but had a nice little figure
outlined by the sun dress she wore. And there I sat in my white
jean shorts, thin blue and white plaid button-down top, silver
gladiator sandals, hair in a ponytail and no makeup.
Could I just get through one fucking day
in this town
?
A day without something dramatic or
traumatic happening? I was tired of feeling like shit and I really
wasn’t sure how much more I could take.
“I want to know how you got here,” he
repeated.
“Shane brought me,” I responded.
“Where is he?”
“He had to take care of something. He should
be back any minute,” I added, trying to ease the situation.
“Let’s go,” he growled, grabbed my hand and
tried to pull me from the booth, but I yanked it away.
“Stop it,” I hissed, “you’re being a jerk
and causing a scene.”
He turned to BJ, “Will you go get a table? I
need to talk to her.” She glanced at me with concern, but nodded in
agreement.
As soon as she was walked away, Tony bent at
the waist, put his mouth right at my ear and whispered, “mi reina,
please get out of the fuckin’ booth before I carry you out of here…
kicking and screaming if I have to.”
My vow to keep my distance from Tony was not
going very well.
“I didn’t think you’d be stupid enough to
leave the house, much less sit in there by yourself,” he barked as
soon as we made it outside. He pulled me through the parking lot
and when we made it to his truck, he maneuvered us until my back
was against it and he stood in front of me.
I squeezed my eyes shut. He tried to provoke
me, but I refused to let him. I took a few calming breaths before I
opened my eyes.
“I’m sorry about last night, Tony. If that’s
what this is about, if that’s why you’re so angry, I’m sorry I
slapped you, but what you said was cruel and you were so rough. I
saw the belt and it scared me,” I whispered.
He stiffened and stared down at me for a
long, agonizing moment.
“Are you kidding?” he breathed the
question.
“No.”
“No matter what you do to me, Trish, I’d
never lay a finger on you; or any woman.” He lifted my chin. “I was
only going to tie your hands,
preciosa
. I wanted to touch
you without you being able to touch me. You never had a problem
with it before.”
“But you didn’t hate me before,” I
whispered.
“I don’t hate you,” he insisted and I wished
it were true.
“Why are you doing this? Why do you say
things and touch me the way you do when you’re already taken? You
accused me of this last night, but it’s you that one minute can’t
resist me, but in the next instant, you can’t stand the sight of
me.”
“You want the truth?”
I nodded. “Yes, please.”
“Because I do want you. I fuckin’
need
you, but I keep seeing you with another man in my head,
mi reina, and it kills me. He touched you. I saw the pictures. Even
if what you said is true and you didn’t cheat on me, he still
touched what was mine,” he spat and I squeezed my eyes shut.
“I’m so sorry. You’ll never understand how
sorry I am,” I whispered. “But I can’t take anymore. I didn’t hurt
on purpose, but you are. Please just stay away from.”
He cupped my jaw, his face lowered and he
brushed his lips against mine before he spoke low, “That’s the
problem. I can’t stay away from you. Maybe I’ve stayed away too
long.” His lips pressed harder against mine and his tongue stroked
the seam of my lips, tempting me to open my mouth and deepen the
kiss.
I wanted to cry. I hated how weak he made me
feel, but I couldn’t resist him.
I don’t know how long we stayed lost in each
other, but when the noise of squealing tires caught both our
attention we pulled apart. I glanced around to search for the
culprit just in time to see a little white car speed out of the
parking lot.
“Did you see her?” I heard Shane shout
violently. It was easy to distinguish that accent. I twisted my
neck in the opposite direction and saw him walk to us with
determination in his stride and fury on his face. He pointed in the
same direction the speeding car just turned.
“Who was that?” Tony asked suspiciously and
I had to roll my eyes that he didn’t already know. Men were
idiots.
“It was Shannon,” I answered in my “Duh”
tone, just before Shane made it to us.
“She wouldn’t even listen to me! She slammed
the door in my face and wouldn’t even let me apologize! She even
flipped me the bird!”
I covered my mouth because I didn’t want
Shane to see the grin I tried to hide. Tony looked at me and
scowled before he faced Shane again. Shane glared between the both
of us.
“What’s going on here?” he asked with eyes
narrowed on Tony and Tony’s turned to stone.
“It’s none of your business.”
“No. Maybe it’s not my business, but she
seems to think it’s hers,” he finished and pointed to the side of
the diner. When I looked in that direction, I saw BJ. She looked
devastated. I had no idea how much she’d seen, but my guess… she’d
seen everything; most definitely the part where Tony kissed me.
I was ashamed.
I turned to Shane.
“Can you take me back to Tony’s?”
“I’ll take you--” Tony started, but I
whipped my head around so fast he snapped his mouth shut. “Can you
just stop? She saw you kiss me, Tony. Did you get a good look at
her? She looked like she just lost her favorite blankie. Hurt me
all you want, but don’t hurt her… just go,” I ground out through my
teeth.
Tony shook his head, closed his eyes and
exhaled loudly before he turned to Shane.
“You take her straight home,” he ordered
before he faced me again. “We’ll finish this later. Don’t leave the
house again.”
“We won’t finish
shit
later!” I
raged.
I fumed all the way back to Shane’s
truck.
On the way “
home”
as Tony put it, I
was happy when Shane avoided any personal questions and kept the
topic on Starla’s treatment. I wouldn’t have been able to explain
anything personal anyway. My emotions were all over the place and I
had a hard time concentrating.
“Why aren’t you supposed to leave the
house?” he asked and I knew, I just freaking knew it was only a
matter of time before he would ask.
I groaned, shrugged and said, “It’s
nothing.”
“It’s obviously something.”
Oh man.
I was fairly certain Shane wouldn’t run to
find Zacharias and rat me out. Plus, Tony wasn’t the kind of man to
let things slip. If he hadn’t trusted Shane to know what was going
on with Zacharias, he never would have ordered me not to leave the
house the way he did outside the diner. So, I gave him the mild
version of the story.
“Before I came to Tony’s, I was on rotation
at the clinic I worked at. Someone called about a horse being
abused at the race track and I went. It was during trials, the day
before the race--”
“You’re kidding me,” Shane interrupted.
“That was you that got Zacharias banned?” His body grew rigid.
How did he know?
“You know the story already? What is this
guy… a mobster or something?”
“He’s not a mobster, per se, but he’s rich.
He got in trouble a while back, went to prison, bribed his way out
and now he’s got people that do his dirty work. He’s into drugs,
he’s bad and anyone that knows him, knows to stay away.”
“I have to tell you, I know both you and
Tony wouldn’t lie, but this all sounds a little ridiculous. A rich,
attractive, horse owning, horse gambling, horse abusing, murderer,
maybe drug dealer, but not mobster is after me… it’s a bit much,
don’t you think?”
He glared at me. “I understand what you’re
saying, but understand me when I tell you this, his family comes
from Spain and they’re big money. People are scared of him because
of his background and accessibility to money or people. He’s got
plenty of both at his disposal. His family has always been into
racing horses. He abuses them because he cares nothing for them. He
gambles because he likes to take chances. He deals drugs because
he’s a spoiled little rich kid that was outshined by his more
popular siblings and drugs was an easy way to make a name for
himself; and not a good one. He went to prison because he got
caught committing murder on tape and he still got off. So, call him
what you’d like, mobster, gangster, convict, either way, he’s still
dangerous and you pissed him off enough that he wants you taken
care of; as in, for good.”
Well, wasn’t this just perfect
?
I stayed in the house the rest of the day
and did nothing. I was happy that Tony hadn’t returned for the
“talk” I didn’t want to have. I decided to make dinner. I figured
Tony would stay out the rest of the night. Needless to say, I was
more than a little surprised when Tony walked into the kitchen.
“Hey,” he mumbled and I glanced at him. He
wore the same outfit from earlier, white t-shirt, open flannel,
this one blue, sleeves rolled up, medium light jeans, dark brown
work boots and messy hair. It was obvious he’d been working outside
and I couldn’t figure out why, even filthy, I found him so damn
hot.
He looked me up and down, and his eyes
stroked my body. My spine stiffened. Not only should he not be
looking at me like that, but I also looked like crap.
I wore low riding jeans, a white tank top
and stood barefoot.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
He raised one eyebrow questioningly.
“I live here?” He responded and if I wasn’t
mistaken, he sounded playful. He sat down at the table and I knew
this night was not going to end well for me.
“I know you live here, but I thought you’d
stay out with BJ.” I paused when his eyes narrowed. “Ummm… sorry,
Bobbie Jo,” I corrected myself when I realized how much of an idiot
I was. I couldn’t even go a full sixty seconds without ticking him
off. Disrespecting his girlfriend was probably the worst thing I
could do.
“Bobbie Jo isn’t my girlfriend, she never
was and she never will be. She might want that, but I don’t,” he
said deep, low and tired.
“Okay,” I responded because I really did not
want to get into the conversation.
“You have no idea what going on between me
and Bobbie Jo, but I’m not having sex with her… at least I haven’t
since you came back into my life.”
It was a slap in the face and a huge wake up
call. I didn’t want to hear anymore. I spun around, turned off the
oven, pulled the baking dish out and placed it on the stove
top.
“I made baked chicken and mashed potatoes,
but they’re probably not very good. I used to cook all the time
when Lex and I were roommates, but since she moved in with Landyn,
and I moved into their garage apartment, she took over cooking. I
rarely have time anymore.”
“It smells delicious. It’s been a long time
since I’ve had a home-cooked meal. I usually just eat at the
diner.”
I wiped my hands on a kitchen towel, turned
and gave him a shaky smile.
“Help yourself. I hope you enjoy it. I’m
really not hungry anymore,” I finished and started for my
bedroom.
“Trish, damn it,” he growled, but I kept
going.
I’d only just made it to the hall when I was
pulled up short and twisted in Tony’s arms.
“I didn’t say that to upset you.”
“Right. Just like it probably disgusts you
to picture me with another man, it’s a thousand times worse to
actually
hear
it and
see
it with your own eyes. Be
thankful.”
“You still love me,” he said out of
nowhere.
I froze.
“Excuse me?” I breathed and he pressed me
closer.
“You never told me before because you didn’t
trust me, but I knew you did then. You still love me,” he stated
with all the confidence in the world. I was breathing heavy. I
wanted to tell him he was wrong, but I had nothing to lose by
telling him the truth.
“If you already know, why bring it up? To
throw it in my face just like you do Bobbie Jo? Just like you used
to with all the others?”
Tony shook his head fiercely, “Of course
not. I just wanna to hear the words from your lips.”
“I loved you. I’ll probably always love you,
Tony. Is that what you want to hear?” I asked, and my voice
trembled. “I’ve never stopped loving you. I wish you could love me
back, but I know you can’t.”
“I care about you,” he said and I couldn’t
stop the bitter laugh that escaped. Tears pricked my eyes.
“You’re trying to make me pay for something
I didn’t do.” I said, just before I broke. I couldn’t take anymore.
Tony pulled me into his embrace and held me as I cried shamelessly
against his chest. “Why do people like to hurt me so much?” His
arms constricted.