Tristan's Redemption (10 page)

He put his hand on her shoulder and shuddered.
“Do you want me to leave you alone? Would that make things easier for you?”

~

Abby’s head jerked up and she looked at him with shock.

“
No, it wouldn’t make things easier for me!” Abby’s lips started quivering and tears streaked down her cheeks. She held out her arms. “I’m just...I...could you just hold me? It’s been so long since anyone has held me. Please.”

Tristan wrapped her in his arms and held her as she cried. When her tears became gut-wrenching sobs, he lifted her in his arms and carried her to the couch. She held onto him as her body shook, so upset that she may not have noticed Tristan
’s tears joining hers. He rocked her and rubbed her back, wanting to take all of this away from her, dying a little bit as he felt her emotional breakdown. A servant came to the doorway and Tristan waved them off. No one needed to witness this.

She eventually calmed and raised her head.
“God, I’ve ruined another one of your shirts.”

Tristan smiled.
“I should show you my closet. I could stand to lose a few shirts.”

Her e
xpression softened, and Abby laid her head back on his shoulder. She took a deep breath. “When I opened the door to his office that day, David was horrified. But she actually smiled. Like she wanted me to catch them.” Tristan cringed, thinking about that day and remembering the horror, running after Abby and not looking back at Marianne once. “Nobody knew I was stopping by though.”

Tristan was trying his best to maintain control but
, God, it was so hard. To hear Abby tell her version of what happened made his chest ache.

“
That wretched woman is going to do things like that because that is the kind of person she is. I know her type. She’s probably already got her sights set on another man.” She did, and Tristan was going to put a stop to it as soon as he possibly could. “But you’ve made things better, and I don’t want you to leave me alone, or however it was that you phrased that ridiculous question. “

“
I will always be here for you.”

She smiled and ran her finger along his cheek.
“Thank you for that.” She took another deep breath. “Thank you for making me feel normal, instead of like the poor widow.”

He turned her, so he could watch her as they talked.
“You are not a poor anything, Abby. You are an amazing woman with the strength of ten men.”

She looked surprised.
“I’m not.”

“
Yes,” Tristan emphasized, “you are. How long did you take off work after your husband died?”

“
Two weeks.”

He nodded.
“How long before you joined the group?”

“
Three weeks,” she paused, “to the day.”

“
Have you missed a meeting?”

She held up her pointy finger.
“One. I had to get IV fluids early in the pregnancy.”

“
I can tell the sadness is there, Abby. But you aren’t letting it control you. That is more strength than many would have in the same situation.”

She swallowed hard and took a deep breath.
“I’m not a victim.”

Frowning, Tristan shook his head.
“I never said you were.”

“
Yes, you did. You said that I was the victim and Marianne knew it.”

Tristan winced.
“Then I was wrong. You are a survivor, not a victim.”

She exhaled and smiled.
“Thank you.”

Tristan held her shoulders and pulled her close. He kissed the top of her head, inhaling her sweet scent. Abby always smelled like flowers. David had never known what kind, but Tristan
’s mother loved flowers, so he knew.

Gardenia.

“I’m going to have my gardener plant a hundred gardenia bushes tomorrow.”

Her eyes widened and she tilted her head to the side.
“Why?”

“
They smell like you.”

Abby wrapped her arms around Tristan, hugging him close. She held on to him as if she would never let go.

“Stay with me tonight.” The whispered plea crossed Tristan’s lips before he could stop it. Abby looked up, surprise on her face. “My intentions are honorable. I don’t think you should be alone tonight.”

Abby smiled.
“Probably not.”

“
Good.” Tristan sighed. “I don’t want to be alone either.”

~

Tristan put Abby in the room next to his and, when they both realized she had nothing to sleep in, he gave her a pair of his running shorts and a t-shirt. He kissed her goodnight and left the room quickly, so he could keep his word. He changed out of his clothes quickly and flopped down in bed, hoping for sleep but knowing damned well it would elude him tonight.

Which is how Tristan ended up downstairs, barefoot, shirtless and in pajama pants, looking out over his back lawn as the first traces of color appeared in the sky. Every time he closed his eyes, Tristan imagined himself wrapped around Abby
’s body. Her presence surrounded him, even from the next room. Knowing she was in there, in his clothes, made the separation even worse.

It took the combined restraint of the man he used to be and the man he was now to keep Tristan from going into that bedroom and climbing into bed with her.

“That is beautiful.”

Tristan turned in surprise;
he hadn’t heard her approach. Abby stopped next to him and leaned into his side, watching the sky light up with wide-eyed amazement.

“
It is, indeed.”

“
Do you see the sunrise every morning?”

“
I’m usually checking on the overseas markets by this time, so I see it most mornings.”

“
Were you checking the markets this morning?”

He shrugged negligently.
“I couldn’t sleep.”

Abby stiffened.
“Because of me?”

“
Yes, actually. It was hard to stay away when you were so close.”

“
Then why did you?”

“
You went through so much yesterday, Abby. I didn’t want to add to that by going back on a promise.”

She sighed.
“Tristan, I didn’t sleep. You didn’t sleep.” Abby brushed his fingers with hers. “We have a little while before your office opens so if you would
like
to lie down with me for a bit, I think we can both act like adults.”

“
Adults do things I promised I wouldn’t do, Abby.”
And you are vulnerable.

Abby shrugged.
“It’s up to you.”

She turned and went upstairs, just as silently as she
’d come down.

The minx
, Tristan thought, shaking his head.

Abby had thrown down the gauntlet, and Tristan picked it up. No matter what body he was in, he never turned down a challenge. And lying beside his wife without making love to her was certainly going to be a challenge.

~

Abby was on the bed getting comfortable when she saw Tristan in the doorway.

“Hi.”

He strode forward with a smirk.
“Hi, yourself.” The bed dipped under his weight and Abby bit back a smile. She wasn’t sure he would come. She’d hoped, though. “Are you positive about this?”

“
It’s a nap, Tristan. Of course.”

Nodding, he settled in, with his head turned so he could see her. He wasn
’t smiling, which made her nervous.

“
Do I make you uncomfortable?”

Tristan shook his head, his eyebrows narrowed.
“No. Never think that. I love...being here.”

“
Me too.”

Abby edged closer, turning on her side. Tristan held h
is arm out flat so she could lie on his chest and Abby accepted the invitation with a smile. His heart beat a steady rhythm under her cheek and the sound was soothing.

“
Tristan,” she said as the beginning of sleep overtook her.

“
Mmm hmm?”

“
Wake me...before you go to...work.” She was asleep before she heard his response.

~

When he was sure that Abby was asleep, Tristan slid his phone out of his pocket and sent one-handed emails to his secretary and the head of his security team, notifying them that he was working from home. His security team would pass that on to anyone in the house prone to worrying that he wasn’t awake at this time of day. Then, he closed his eyes for a second before he felt something poking him in the side. Tristan looked down at the spot where Abby’s belly rested. The baby was moving, as if the child Abby carried knew his father was nearby. Tristan smiled as he saw the almost imperceptible motions. The baby was growing and making himself known. Tears blurred his vision as he watched this miracle of life. The baby they had prayed for, spent countless hours in doctors’ offices working for, and cried many tears over, was tucked safely inside Abby’s body.

His son was a reality, and this beautiful woman carried him all alone. There wasn
’t a husband there to help her at night. She did everything, all while undergoing the stresses and fatigue of pregnancy. How much should one woman have to take? Logically, Tristan knew that there were women all over the world who had much more weighing on them. But Abby and the baby were his. He had the power to at least make her life simpler, and he was going to do just that.

Tristan closed his eyes for just a few moments, his woman and his child safely in his arms. As soon as he woke up, he was going to make everything better for Abby.

Abby’s first thought on waking was that the pillow wasn’t soft. She opened her eyes and saw a broad expanse of olive-tinted skin, dark brown nipples and a faint covering of hair trailing down an abdomen she ached to touch. She sat up as quickly as she could, with as little movement as possible to avoid waking Tristan. Abby looked around for a clock and nearly gasped when she saw it was after ten o’clock.

“
Tristan.”

He didn
’t move.
Should I wake him?
Surely, he had a busy morning ahead of him?

“
Tristan.” Intending to shake him awake, she placed her hand on his shoulder and her finger landed in something wet. Abby bent for a closer look and realized it was from her.

Dear Lord, I drooled on Tristan.

She took the edge of her shirt and wiped quickly, hoping not to add to her already considerable embarrassment.

~

Abby didn’t realize that he was already awake. The moment she’d called his name, he’d woken but kept his eyes closed, curious about what she would do. Feigning sleep as she wiped his shoulder was difficult. He wanted to smile, to thank God for letting her do this. It showed that Abby cared. She always drooled in her sleep. In another life, he would’ve joked about it. But now, he thought it was adorable.

“
Tristan.”

He stayed still, hoping she would get closer. The bed shifted as she moved and her breasts brushed against his chest. Tristan was so very glad the blanket was bunched over his mid-section, otherwise his erection would
’ve been obvious. Abby leaned down by his ear, her breath caressed his skin.

“
Tristan, it’s after ten. You may want to wake up.”

He could feel her nipples through the shirt and almost groaned with the effort it took to not react.

“Tristan...” He could stand it no longer and lifted his head to place a kiss on her lips. She opened her mouth to gasp and he used the opportunity to kiss her more thoroughly, deeper, and slid his tongue along hers. She pressed herself closer, her breasts flattening against his chest and her heart pounding. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. She moaned and threaded her fingers in his hair.

This was it. He trembled with the knowledge that he was going to take Abby. The first time would not be slow. Later, he would make love to her but now, this would be sheer carnal need. Two souls reconnecting after being lost.

He took the bottom of her shirt and pulled it up and, in the process, he felt a tiny fluttering along his stomach.
The baby.
Abby’s stomach touched his and he could feel his son. Tristan’s lust-filled mind regained clarity as he remembered his words.

My intentions are honorable.

With more restraint than he ever imagined possible, Tristan released Abby and gently pushed back on her shoulders.

Her lips were swollen and her eyes dazed with desire, as his had been mere seconds before.

“What’s wrong?”

“
We can’t do this, Abby.”

She looked down at her stomach.
“Does my pregnancy bother you?”

He shook his head vigorously.
“No. I made a promise.”

“
Promise? What?”

“
I told you I didn’t want you to be alone last night and promised to treat you with honor. I’m not going back on that.”

She frowned.
“But...but I’m not holding you to your promise.”

He clenched his fists and gathered as much resolve as he could in this moment.
“Abby, honey, it’s important to me. I gave you my word.”

“
But the need is mutual.”

He got out of bed, needing to distance himself and held a pillow in front of his groin. His formidable erection was still quite noticeable and Abby didn
’t need any help with her argument. Resisting her was difficult enough. “I’ve done very bad things in my life. You’re a fresh start. You’re my hope. If I go back on my word with you, I won’t be the man I want to be for you.”

Her shoulders sagged in disappointment and Tristan almost caved.

“Do you understand?”

She looked up, pursed her lips in a pout and crossed her arms over her chest.
“I understand. Doesn’t mean I’m happy about it, but I understand.”

Tristan resisted the urge to smile.
“Good. I need to be better for you, Abby, and a better man lives up to his word.”

She nodded in understanding and climbed out of bed.
“Is there any way I can get a ride home?”

“
Are you upset?”

“
No. I just need to get home.”

Tristan
’s brows narrowed. “This isn’t a deal breaker, is it?” He hoped, he prayed.

“
Not at all. But I have things I need to do and you have to work and—”

“
Stay for breakfast, please.”

“
Trust me. It’s better if I go.” Abby gathered her clothes and walked to the bathroom to change.

“
Abby,” Tristan called out as he rounded the bed. His erection had subsided enough for him to put the pillow down. “Are you okay?”

She exhaled in a huff and closed her eyes as though trying to find patience.
“I will be.” At his worried expression, Abby continued. “Being around you is very hard right now, okay? I’m kind of revved up with nowhere to go, if that makes sense.”

“
Abby, I’m—”

She held up her hand.
“No, don’t apologize. I do respect your morals, even if I’m a little frustrated with them right now. I’ll be right back and then if you’re ready, we can go.”

“
I’ll be ready.” As she closed the door, Tristan realized the irony of his words. He was, indeed, ready. But there was no way he would break his promise.