TROUBLE, A New Adult Romance Novel (The Rebel Series) (49 page)

And just like that, he makes it all okay.
 
I turn back to face my parents, pride in my boyfriend and pride in myself giving me the strength I need to say what needs to be said.

I stare at them both, one by one, refusing to let them look away.
 
“I lived on my own for
eight months
.
 
It was only through the grace of God and generosity of my friends that I survived to have this baby.
 
You kicked me out … an unmarried pregnant girl who suffered a brutal rape … because I didn’t fit your mold of what a perfect woman should be.
 
I am
never
going to forget that.
 
I know you want me to, but I’m sorry, I can’t.”

I huff out a sigh, looking down at my daughter, feeling as if with that one big breath I somehow let the demons escape my system that had been haunting me and controlling my head and my heart for more than half a year.

My baby girl is looking up at me with her innocent face, her blue eyes like the deepest of oceans, her skin like the richest of creams, and in her, I see my ancestors.
 
My parents.
 
All the people who are responsible for me standing here on this porch today, preparing to celebrate the entry of my baby into the world.

I continue, still staring at her beautiful face.
 
“But I’m not going to keep punishing you for what you did.
 
For the mistakes you made.
 
Life’s too short to live with that kind of darkness.” I look at my mom.
 
“Mom, you and Dad are welcome here anytime, but it’s going to be on my terms.
 
No more judging me, criticizing me, or using your love as a weapon against me.”

She nods.
 
“That’s fair.”

I look up.
 
“And Dad, no more bullying.
 
No more judging me or Mom.
 
Loosen up that choke hold, or you will lose me.
 
And next time, it will be forever.
 
I’m a mother now.
 
I don’t have the time or the patience to play games with anyone.”

“Life is not a game,” my father says.

“No, it’s not.”

“I wasn’t playing games with you before.
 
I was doing what I thought was right.
 
But I was angry.
 
I was focused on the wrong things, what I imagined people would think of our family, instead of what was best for you.
 
And for that, I will always be regretful.”

I nod.
 
This is as good as an apology as I will ever get from this man.
 
And as many faults as he has, he’s still my dad.
 
He’s the guy who taught me how to ride a bike, to throw a ball, and to plant a tree.
 
Someday, I hope Colin will do that for my children.
 
And today is the first step towards getting us there. Life is not about holding grudges.
 
It’s about forgiving and letting go.

“Come on out to the backyard,” I say, moving out of the doorway so they can pass. “Everyone’s waiting.”

CHAPTER SIXTY

MY PARENTS FIND A SPOT to stand behind Charlie’s parents.
 
That’s going to be an interesting introduction
, I say to myself as I walk by.
 
I’ll save it for later, though, because I have fun things ahead of me that I can’t wait any longer for.

The priest is waiting at the front of the small crowd, a pedestal and a silver bowl in front of him.
 
There’s a flowered arbor over his head and those of Colin, Teagan, and Quin too.
 
All of them are there waiting for me and the baby, dressed in their finest.
 
Mick and Rebel are off to the side, both of them wearing suits with their hair freshly spiked. I can hear Jersey in the crowd somewhere running his toy car, probably over someone’s head.

The priest smiles at me.
 
“Good morning,” he says, his face glowing with happiness. I’m not sure if it’s that smile or his flaming red hair that has me grinning back.

“Good morning,” I say, stopping next to Colin.

“I was told you wanted something short and sweet,” the priest says.

I’m glad to see he’s not offended by my request.
 
“Yes. I’m not big on long ceremonies and she gets hungry a
lot
.”

Everyone laughs and my face feels hot as I realize I just kind of talked about my boobs in front of a crowd.

“Okay, then.
 
How about we all hold hands to start…”

I can’t help but giggle at Rebel holding Mick’s hand.
 
He does it without complaint but it looks so out of character for him.
 
I think Teagan’s about to melt with goofiness over it the way her face is all sappy looking.

“Friends … brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers … we are gathered here today to celebrate the birth of this beautiful baby with her mother Alissa.
 
A child so loved and so cherished, that all of her friends have come together to witness both her naming and her baptism.
 
Let us take a moment to gaze upon her beautiful face, a shining example of God’s love.”

I take her blankets off and angle her up so everyone can see her.
 
I’m teary-eyed with pride.
 
She really is the prettiest baby that was ever born.
 
When everyone oohs and aaahs, I’m absolutely sure it’s completely genuine.
 
I’m glad none of them have babies right now so they won’t become horribly jealous of me having one so much cuter.

“Have you selected a name for this lovely angel?” the priest asks me.

“Yes, I have,” I say, facing my friends one at a time.

The priest continues.
 
“Please announce to her and to all her friends what you have chosen.”

I lean down and whisper in my baby girl’s ear the name I picked out especially for her.
 
When she doesn’t cry, I take that as a signal that she’s okay with it.
 
I lift my head to face my friends.

“From this day forward, my baby girl shall be known as Colleen Teaquin Benson.”

Both Teagan and Quin start squealing and jumping up and down.
 
The small bouquets of flowers they were holding are quickly shredded in the process and the petals rain down to cover their feet.

The priest’s voice takes on a booming quality, making me almost think he has a microphone hidden somewhere.
 
“Welcome! Colleen Teaquin Benson, into our world.
 
May you always find blessed happiness, enduring friendships, and supportive love from those here today.”
 
He puts his hands together.
 
“Who are the godparents?”

I sweep my arm to the right.
 
“They’re right there.
 
Mick, Rebel, Colin, Teagan, and Quin.”

Colin’s face looks all warped.
 
It’s only when he’s closer that I realize it’s because he’s fighting emotion but losing the battle.

“You okay, babe?” I whisper in his ear.

He looks off into the distance.
 
“Yeah.”
 
The word barely makes it out.

I put my hand on his arm as the priest is giving Colleen’s other godparents some instructions.
 
“Are you sure?
 
Are you mad?
 
You look mad.”
 
I feel sick over it.
 
Did I make a mistake?
 
Did I make the wrong choice?
 
Did I misunderstand something?

He finally looks at me and his face starts spasming even worse.
 
“You named her … Colleen.”

I smile, feeling both happy and sad at the same time.
 
“Are you mad?”

“Is it … is it … for me?”

I nod.
 
“It was the closest I could get to Colin without it sounding like a boy name.”

His face crumbles and he takes me into a bear hug, squishing the baby between us.

I pat him on the back, more than a little surprised at his strong reaction.
 
“It’s okay, babe.
 
Really.
 
It’s okay.”

He pulls away.
 
“Yeah.
 
I’m fine.
 
I’m fine.”
 
He wipes his face, takes a few deep breaths, growls a little, and then looks off into the distance again.

I reach up and touch his cheek.
 
“I owe you so much.”

He shakes his head but says nothing.
 
His jaw muscles are clenching and unclenching over and over.
 
He looks like he’s ready to punch something.

“You make me feel … strong again.
 
Strong maybe for the first time.
 
You helped me find
me
again.
 
Every time I look at my daughter, no matter what happens between us, I want to remember that.
 
I want to know that because of you, I had her and I loved her the minute she was born.
 
I wasn’t scared, I wasn’t hating the world, I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself anymore.”

He looks down at me again.
 
“You did that.” He clears the frog out of his throat. “It wasn’t me.” He smiles gently. “But I’m gonna go ahead and let you give me credit because maybe then you’ll stick around.”

I laugh.
 
“Stick around?
 
What makes you think I’m going anywhere?”

He shrugs and looks down at the ground.
 
“When I love people this much, they go.
 
Forever. They go away forever.”

I grab him to me and hug him so hard I almost strangle him.
 
“I’m not going anywhere.” I kiss his neck loudly.
 
“Come on.
 
Let’s go baptize this monster.”

Before I know what’s happening, he sweeps me up into his arms and carries Colleen and me over to the priest and the silver bowl.

“Well, special delivery, I guess,” the priest says, chuckling. He holds his arms out for the baby and I pass her over.
 
Taking out a silver seashell from the bowl, he gently dips it down into the water, collecting some in the bottom of it.

The priest raises the shell of water up over the baby’s head.
 
“I baptize you, Colleen …” Quin and Teagan join him in a chorus of voices, “…
Teaquin Benson!
”
 
The priest continues on his own, letting the water run out of the shell and down Colleen’s head.
 
“In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.”

The entire group finishes the ceremony all together.
 
“Amen!”

CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE

THE DAY WAS LONG AND although everything went off without a hitch, with no one punching anyone’s lights out, I’m happy to be in bed for the night, snuggled under the covers with my two most favorite people in the world.
 
Colin and Colleen.

“You happy?” Colin asks.

“Yeah, I’m happy.”
 
I could stare at his face forever and never get tired of it. I reach out and touch his eyebrows, smoothing them down a couple times before pulling my arm back inside the warm covers.

“Think you’ll ever want to marry me?” he asks.

I’m stunned into silence.
 
For about three seconds.
 
Then I reach out of the covers and smack him.

“Hey!
 
What was that for?” He’s laughing.

“That is
not
how you ask a girl to marry you, you big dope.”
 
I’m angry and thrilled.
 
He is too much.
 
I never know what he’s going to do or say next.

“I was just checking for indications of interest.”
 
He ducks under the covers before I can get him again.

“Indications of interest?” I grumble.
 
“I’ll give you an indication of interest…

He crawls under the covers and grabs me around my waist.

“Hey!” I whisper-shout, trying to wriggle away.
 
“Stop!
 
You’ll wake the baby.”

His head pops out of the covers by my stomach.
 
“I’m putting her in her crib.”

A hot jolt of excitement runs through me.
 
Baby in the crib is totally code.
 
“No, you’re not.”

“Oh, yes I am.
 
Just for thirty minutes.”

I can’t help but smile, feeling really naughty.
 
“Why?
 
You got plans?”

“Yeah, you know it, baby.”
 
He buries his face between my legs, and I squeal with surprise.
 
“Fine!
 
Put her in her crib,” I whisper.
 
“And hurry up.
 
She’s going to wake up soon.”

Colin hurries to put her down, tucking her in with blankets, before doing a flying leap back into the bed.

I squeal again, this time with anticipation.

“You love me,” he says, grabbing me into his arms and flipping me over on top of him.

“Yes.
 
I do.”
 
I’m lying on his chest staring down at his face.

“You just said
I do
.” He grins.

“Oooh, no you don’t.
 
It’s not going to be that easy, trust me,” I say, using my most evil grin.

“Oh, yeah?”
 
He flips me over and then starts going down below the covers.
 
“We’ll just see about that.”

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Elle Casey
is a prolific,
New York Times
and
USA Today
bestselling American author who lives in Southern France with her husband (who sometimes wears a kilt), three kids (who never stop moving), Hercules the wonder poodle (who sleeps next to her side for every word typed), Monie the bouvier (who also never stops moving), and a few other furry creatures (don’t ask).
 
Her favorite things are red wine, pretty much anything with sugar in it, and sexy books.
 
If she has all three around her at the same time, please do not disturb … the writer is busy creating.
 
In her spare time she writes new adult and young adult novels (you can find her Women’s Fiction work under the pen name
Kat Lee
.)
 
She publishes about one novel per month and has been accused of being a cyborg for her ability to consistently turn out captivating stories with characters that stay in readers’ heads long after the book is closed.
 
She neither confirms nor denies this accusation.