Trouble Walks In (12 page)

“It's okay, Maddy,” Jordan said quietly. “Tell me.”

“I feel like I'm betraying him,” Maddy murmured.

“Who?” Jordan's brow furrowed with confusion. “Ronan?”

“Rick,” she whispered.

“Oh, Maddy.” Jordan reached across the table and gathered Maddy's hand in hers, squeezing it tightly. “Honey, it's okay to move on and live your life. Rick would want you to be happy, wouldn't he?”

“Yes.” Maddy nodded and swallowed the tears. “But he's only been gone a year… I keep thinking it's too soon. Well, my head tells me it's too soon, but every other part of my anatomy is primed and ready. I want Ronan more than I've ever wanted any man in my whole damn life. I feel like a teenager with overactive hormones or something.”

“You do remember hearing me go on and on about Gavin, don't you?” A knowing smile curved Jordan's lips. “I get it. Trust me.”

“We haven't even done it yet, but…” Maddy let out a growl of frustration. “To say that I'm confused would be an understatement. I feel guilty for being crazy attracted to him and for wanting to be with him so soon, but at the same time, I can't stay away from him or stop thinking about him. I'm basically at war with myself. I sound crazy, don't I?”

“No, you don't. It's understandable that you would feel this way, Maddy. You and Rick were together for
years
. I mean, you guys were basically married, in spirit if not on paper.”

“He didn't want to, you know,” she whispered. “Rick didn't want to get married or have children.”

Jordan's expression grew grim and she nodded.

“The job.” Maddy smiled and lifted one shoulder. “He was married to it, and I even told people that I felt like his mistress. The job always came first, and I understood; I really did. We never even talked about getting hitched, you know? It was this unspoken agreement. His dad died fighting a fire when Rick was little, and he never wanted to do that to anyone else.”

“I know.”

“But he did die,” Maddy said firmly. “He died and left me and everyone else who loved him behind, and I just don't know if I can go through something like that again.”

“You mean with Ronan?”

“He may not be a fireman, but he is a cop. The guy puts himself in harm's way all the time.” Maddy held up both hands. “I get it. It's part of the gig. But I don't know if I can be part of something like that again.”

“Okay,” Jordan said slowly. “Then why make it all so serious? Ronan isn't exactly known for his lengthy relationships. Why not just have some fun with him?”

“Believe it or not, I tried.
He
wouldn't go for it.” Maddy folded her arms over her breasts, feeling a little embarrassed to admit the truth. “He told me that I'd been keeping him in the friend zone, and he wasn't settling for the friends-with-benefits category. He wants more.”

“Come
on
.” Jordan's eyes grew wide. “You're seriously telling me that Ronan ‘Make-Out' McGuire turned down no-strings-attached sex?”

“Yes.” Maddy's cheeks flamed. “That's exactly what I'm telling you. But…it's not entirely on him. I was bluffing. I can't do no-strings sex either. I'm not wired that way. No matter how much I might want to be. But I can't stop thinking about him. It's like I'm obsessed! It's not only sexual. He's thoughtful, kind, funny, self-depreciating,
and
seeing him with that damn dog just about melts my heart. And even as I sit here telling you all of this, I feel like I'm stabbing Rick in the back. I know he's dead and he's never coming back, but still…”

“No wonder you're confused,” Jordan murmured.

“Throw in a couple of murders and getting a psycho real estate agent fired, and you've got yourself a good old-fashioned clusterfuck.”

Maddy sipped her wine, and silence fell between the two friends as Charisma delivered their dessert. She must have sensed the change of mood at the table because she didn't sing this time.

“I'm sorry. That sounded awful.” Maddy ran both hands through her curly hair in an effort to soothe her swirling emotions. “But it's been an absolutely insane month.”

“Gavin told me about the girl from your office and that other woman.” Jordan pushed the strawberry around on her plate but hadn't touched her cheesecake yet. “I hope you're taking precautions. It sounds like some nut ball out there has it in for real estate agents in New York City.”

“I am.” Maddy nodded and glanced at her chocolate cake, which suddenly looked less appealing. “In addition to the handy-dandy Mace you and Gavin gave me, Ronan read me the riot act about trusting my gut and everything. I'll be fine.”

“We worry about you, you know.”

“I know,” Maddy said with a small smile. “But I've been doing this for years, and I can handle myself.”

“True.” Jordan's smile grew. “And you have your own personal NYPD K-9 officer as backup.”

Maddy let out a cynical laugh and shook her head, leveling a serious gaze at her friend.

“What should I do about this thing with Ronan? Am I being silly or overly dramatic? Am I overthinking it? I've been out of the dating pool for so long that I have no idea what I'm doing. Part of me wants to jump in with both feet, and the other part is terrified to let go.”

Jordan sat back in her chair and folded her hands in her lap. The expression on her face was serious, and Maddy could tell that she was searching for the right way to present a tough question.

“Let me ask you something first.” Jordan opened her mouth and closed it again before finally saying, “If Rick
had
asked you to marry him, would you have said yes?”

Maddy stilled. Nobody had ever posed that question to her before. Her knee-jerk reaction and the publicly expectable response was
absolutely
. But she said nothing. Maddy sat quietly and looked away from Jordan, unwilling to admit the guilt-laden truth.

“No,” she whispered. “I don't think I would. Maybe that's why we never spoke about it. I didn't bring it up, and neither did he, at least not directly.”

“Why?” Jordan asked gently. “I know you loved him, and he adored you.”

“I know.” Maddy pressed her fingers to her lips, and Rick's smiling face came to mind. “He was my best friend. We loved each other, you know? But maybe we weren't
in
love. It was comfortable and safe. Neither of us wanted to take the leap to marriage and kids, and we were both absorbed by our careers. I feel bad for even telling you this because I don't want to tarnish his memory or take away from what we had, but it's the truth.”

“Every relationship is different, Maddy. What you had with Rick was special because it was between you and him. It's not worse or better than what you could have with Ronan—or anyone else, for that matter. It's simply
different
. Wouldn't it be weirder if you felt exactly the same feelings for Ronan that you had for Rick?”

“I guess… I mean… You're right. My feelings for Ronan are different. It doesn't take away or change what I had with Rick.”

“Exactly,” Jordan said gently. “Now, if you can wrap your head around that, let's tackle the next part. Why are you shutting out a possible future with Ronan? You seem set on not even entertaining the idea.”

“Because the crazy, intense feelings for him, physical and otherwise, scare the shit out of me,” Maddy said in a quivering voice. “Losing Rick hurt like hell, but I survived it. I'm terrified that if I let myself go there again, if I explore these out-of-control emotions, that there will be no turning back. It's like looking into a giant abyss. There's no end in sight. There's no bottom to the well, and if I allow myself to fall in…”

“He'll catch you,” Jordan whispered. “But you have to trust him, and you have to trust in yourself. That's love, my friend—leaping into the mighty unknown because your heart overtakes your mind. That's what life is all about, but we can't and don't do it alone. Give Ronan a chance, Maddy.”

Maddy nibbled on her lower lip. “You don't think it's too soon?”

“Last time I checked, there was no limit on how many people we can love in our lifetime, and there's no rule saying how long to wait between lovers.” Jordan grabbed her purse and rose from her seat. “I'm going to the ladies' room, and when I get back, let's head over to Skinners. Word has it that my fiancé and his best man might be there.”

“Sounds good.” Maddy grabbed Jordan's hand before she walked away. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.” She bent down and kissed Maddy's cheek. “Can I add one more thing since you're so hot on my advice at the moment?”

“Sure.” Maddy laughed.

“The only choice you'll regret is
not
giving him a chance.” Jordan's voice lowered to just above a whisper. “If you don't, if you walk away from this possible future with Ronan, then you'll never know what could have happened. Wouldn't not knowing be worse than anything else?”

Maddy replayed that question over and again in her mind while she waited at the table for Jordan to return. The answer kept evading her. Would she let her fear override any chance at a future with Ronan, or would she choose to take the leap?

Ronan and Gavin had polished off their burgers, fries, and a couple of beers at Skinners, but there was still no sign of Jordan and Maddy. It was well past nine o'clock, and Ronan was starting to wonder if maybe they
had
gone off to find a stripper. He considered texting her, but he didn't want to push his luck. Instead, he and Gavin sat at the bar watching the sports commentators blather on about the upcoming football game, and Ronan tried desperately not to look at his phone.

The front door of the pub opened and Ronan glanced up, but it wasn't them. A college-age couple came in and immediately went to the back of the bar. A huge group of kids, obviously home for the holidays, had taken over the two pool tables. The jukebox had been going all night, but now that they were past the big dinner rush, the volume was getting progressively louder.

“Can I get you boys another round?” John Skinner, the pub's owner, smiled and pointed at their almost empty glasses. “On the house.”

“Not me,” Gavin said. “I'm driving. I'd love a water.”

“I'm not driving and I'm on vacation. I'll take you up on that beer.” Ronan drained the rest of his glass and slid it to John. “Thanks, man.”

“Where's that dog cop of yours?” John asked as he drew the beer from the tap. “Bozo? Bulldozer?”

“It's Bowser.” Ronan shook his head and smiled. “He's back at the cottage at my parents' place. We're both off duty, and he's probably snoozing on that huge sofa in the living room. I think he's enjoying this vacation as much as I am.”

The sound of the front door opening captured Ronan's attention again, and this time when he looked up, he found himself staring across the room at a familiar pair of bright-blue eyes.

“They're here,” he murmured.

Ronan waved and gave Maddy a big smile just as Jordan leaned in and whispered something to Maddy. Whatever it was, it made her cheeks redden, and she swatted at her friend before both of them broke into giggles. The two women wove their way through the bar crowd toward Ronan and Gavin. The closer Maddy came, the harder Ronan's heart started to pound, blood rushing in his ears. It was a wildest feeling in the world to be this excited to see another human being.

Maddy sidled up next to him, and Jordan went to sit beside Gavin, but Ronan hardly noticed. All he could see was
Maddy
. Ronan shifted on the bar stool to face her and found himself at a loss for words. Her fair skin was flushed and her blue eyes glittered brightly, reminding him of ice.

But that was Maddy all over, wasn't it?

Ice infused with fire.

“Hey,” Maddy murmured. “Fancy meeting you here.”

Ronan was about to respond but was interrupted by John.

“Look who it is!” John shouted. He gave Ronan his beer. “Maddy Morgan! When did you get back into town, little lady?”

The older man, as tall as Ronan but twice as wide, reached over the bar and pulled Maddy into a quick bear hug.

“The city girl has returned,” he said with a gritty laugh. “For good, I hope?”

“Sorry, John.” She shook her head and took off her coat and gloves. “I'm here for the wedding, and then it's back to the city.”

“Not even staying through Christmas?”

“Uh…I'm not sure.” Maddy ran one hand through her lovely curls. “I'm staying at the inn, and they're closed from the twenty-fourth through the first week of January. So, I may as well head back.”

Ronan's smiled faded. Why would she go back to the city and be alone for Christmas? Hell, no.

“None of my business, I suppose.” John waved one hand and smiled broadly. “What can I get for you ladies?”

“I'll have a glass of pinot grigio,” Maddy said as she sat on the recently vacated seat next to Ronan. “Thanks, John.”

“Nothing for me,” Jordan said.

Ronan and Maddy both turned to look at the soon-to-be newlyweds. Jordan still had her coat on and was snuggled up against Gavin. He had his arm around her, and when he looked at Ronan, he shrugged.

“I think we're gonna head out.” Gavin tossed money on the bar and smiled lovingly at his fiancée. “I'm beat.”

“Me too.” Jordan sighed. “Maddy, thank you for an amazing dinner, but I'm gonna call it a night. I'll see you tomorrow at my mom's place. Right?”

“Yeah, the seating chart and stuff.” Maddy's brow furrowed and she flicked a glance at Ronan. “Um…I guess I'll see you tomorrow. You want me to drive you home, Jordan?”

“I'll take care of Jordan.” Gavin winked. “But since I drove, that means you'll have to take Ronan home.”

“How 'bout it, Mads?” Ronan took a sip of his beer and peered at Maddy over the rim of his glass. “Can you give me a lift?”

“I'm sure we'll figure something out,” Maddy said quietly, her gaze not leaving his. “Besides, Ronan and I wouldn't want you two to waste the overnight babysitter situation.”

“And that, ladies and gentleman, is why she's my best friend.” Jordan kissed Maddy on the cheek and then Ronan. “Have fun, you two.”

Gavin and Jordan made a quick exit, but Ronan kept his attention on Maddy.

“They planned this, didn't they?” she asked, a smile curving those beautiful lips.

“That's probably a fair assumption.” Ronan rubbed the condensation off his glass with his thumb. “Is that so bad? Getting stuck here with me?”

“No.”

Maddy crossed her legs and shifted toward him, which momentarily allowed their bodies to touch. Even that brief contact was enough to make him take notice. John brought Maddy her wine, and instead of making his usual chitchat, he made himself scarce. Ronan could have kissed the old man for that.

“Are you really going to leave before Christmas?” He sipped his beer again. “I thought you were thinking about staying.”

“Jordan asked me to stay, but I don't want to crash their first married Christmas.” Maddy leaned one arm on the bar and sipped her wine. “Going back to the city was the plan.”

“It's a dumb plan.”

“Gee, thanks.” She laughed.

“I have a better one.” Ronan turned his gaze to hers. “Stay.”

“I-I can't.” She nibbled her lower lips. “Imogene and Bob close the inn for Christmas Eve and Christmas and go to their condo in Florida until the first week of January. They do it every year.”

“Come have Christmas with me and my family.”

The words were out of his mouth before he'd even fully thought it through. The idea was crazy, but at the same time, it felt absolutely right.

“All my brothers will be there. Plus Jordan, Gav, and the girls are coming for dinner, and Jordan's bringing her mom as well. It's not like it'll just be me and my fathead brothers.”

Maddy stilled and her eyes widened. Ronan wasn't certain if he saw fear there or surprise, or maybe both—but he could practically see the wheels spinning. Oh shit. He was losing her.

“Hang on,” he added quickly. “You don't have to stay with me out at the cottage. I mean, even with everyone home, my parents will have two open bedrooms. There are plenty of beds. If that's not cool, I'm sure you could crash with Jordan and Gavin.”

“Oh, right.” Maddy gave him a doubtful look. “And hijack the newlyweds? I don't think so. I know the girls will be there, but it's still kind of their unofficial honeymoon.”

“See?” Ronan tipped his glass toward her. “You should do what I suggested and stay at my parents' place. It's only for two nights. Christmas Eve and Christmas. Besides, if my mother finds out that you're planning to go back to the city and spend the holiday
alone again
, she'll offer this to you herself.
Then
if she thought that I didn't offer…she would flip out on me. So, technically, if you come stay with us for Christmas, you're doing me a favor and saving my hide.”

“Is that so?” Maddy laughed and shook her head. “McGuire, you are way too much.”

“I'm serious.” Ronan pressed one hand to his chest. “If you care about me at all, you do not want the wrath of Carolyn McGuire to be unleashed on me. It's not pretty.”

“I find that hard to believe.” Maddy tucked her curls behind her ear, and Ronan had to resist the urge to help her. “Your mother is as sweet as they come.”

“Yeah?” he scoffed. “Well, she also raised five boys, and there's no more than eighteen months between each of us. It was organized chaos at our house for over twenty years. You don't survive that kind of environment with your sanity intact if you can't open up a can of whoop-ass every now and then.”

Maddy studied him as though weighing her options, and for a minute, Ronan was sure he'd made a mistake. He clenched the glass, and his heart beat so hard he was sure she could hear it ramming against his rib cage.

“I'll think about it,” she murmured.

“Good. That's all I ask.” Ronan let out the breath he was holding. “Well, that's a lie. I'm gonna ask you something else.”

“Okay,” she said warily.

Ronan leaned close so that his face was only inches from hers and their knees bumped. Her eyes widened and her nostrils flared with an unmistakable whisper of desire. The pulse in her throat quickened beneath her creamy skin, and he had the overwhelming urge to kiss it, to lick and nibble at the tender spot until she begged him not to stop. His gaze skittered over her face, lingering for a moment on that beautiful mouth. Even though all that Ronan could think about was getting another taste of her, this was neither the time nor the place.

Then with all the seriousness he could muster, Ronan asked, “When was the last time somebody kicked your ass at darts?”

“Yes… Wait…” Maddy blinked. “What?”

A grin slowly curved his lips. God, he loved surprising her.

“Darts.” Ronan stood up and caught John's eye. “Just the check, man. Thanks.”

“Got it right here.” John slid the paper over, and Ronan made quick work of settling up. “That last round was on me.”

“Unnecessary but much appreciated.” He grabbed his coat, which he'd been sitting on. “Come on. It's time for me to school you. But I promise I won't be a sore winner.”

A sly smile covered her face. Maddy slid from the seat and draped her coat over her arm. She inched closer, so that her body brushed his. The soft, pink sweater she wore hugged her breasts, and when it swept against his bare forearm, Ronan stilled.

“You seem pretty confident about this, McGuire,” Maddy whispered. She drew in a deep breath, the movement pressing her breasts against him harder for one delicious second. “Are you willing to put a wager on it?”

“I really wouldn't want to take advantage of you, Mads,” he said playfully.

“See?” Maddy shook her head and made a soft
tsk
ing sound. “Now that's a damn shame.”

“What is?” Ronan laughed.

“Maybe I want you to take advantage of me,” she whispered before slipping past him toward the dartboard.

Ronan was rendered speechless as all of the blood rushed from his head to other parts of his body. Maddy tossed her coat over a chair by the dartboard and reached in the pocket for something. When she bent forward, he got an excellent view of her backside. And what a fine view it was—round, firm, and covered by a pair of black jeans that barely contained her beautiful bottom.

A second later, she'd pulled out a hair tie and slung her mass of curls up into a messy bun. She grabbed the darts from the board and pushed her sleeves up before taking her place on the white line. She lined up her shot, and in less than one minute, the woman threw three perfect bull's-eyes, one right after the other.

Maddy settled her hands on her hips, tossed her head, and winked at him over her shoulder, then headed off to retrieve her magic darts.

“Holy shit,” Ronan whispered.

“She's something, isn't she?” John's voice drifted over his shoulder. “The Skinners dart team held the champion title in the league every year Maddy was on it. I guess you didn't know that.”

“No.” Ronan's mouth set in a firm line.

Gavin's warning fired through Ronan's mind.
Take it slow
.

He and Maddy might have known each other since high school, but apparently, he still had plenty to learn about the woman he'd fallen hopelessly in love with.

Ronan spent the next two hours getting his ass kicked at darts and loving every minute of it. Maddy matched every surprise he had up his sleeve, and then some. He might not know what was coming around the corner or what the future held, but whatever it was, he wanted Maddy to be a part of it.