True Believers (17 page)

Jessit's hands folded into a rigid, knuckled mound while Lord Kalya held services in the small, dimly lit temple of Anu. He didn't want to come here but Kalya insisted. The Lady had spent the morning with Jessit, and it was important for the Order to know the details of their encounter. Scholars and clergy everywhere were hungry for information about the gods.

Every ship had a temple, even if it was no more than a closet with an altar to Anu and the Hundred. But this was an ambassadorial ship, the kind used to show off to rivals and friends alike. The temple gleamed under the golden glow of ornate ceiling lamps. Carved menite basreliefs and a large stone altar dominated the center of the room, while a few richly decorated kneeling pads lay scattered on the floor. Tall columns lined the periphery of the circular room, making it feel more like a prison than a sanctuary.

Jessit swallowed a lump in his throat when he passed by the marble founts bubbling with blue water. His skin crawled with pinpricks, recalling last night's torture.

Kalya droned on in the ancient tongue, sounding like an endless snore. He invoked Anu's blessing and prayed for the return of his children, Gilgamesh and Rachel. It chilled him to hear Rachel's name spoken aloud. The memory of their lovemaking sifted like a half-remembered dream.

Kalya pressed him, asking countless questions about his vision of Gilgamesh and his visit with Rachel. And Jessit submitted, answering as honestly as he could. It was important not only for theological records but historical, as well. He didn't feel so confident revealing the intimate moments of his union with Rachel, but he had to set his privacy aside for the good of the faith.

It iced his veins to see Kalya visibly aroused while Jessit recounted his intercourse with Rachel. Kalya's gills puffed open repeatedly, and the man's sweat stank of sulfur. Such was the cost of a holy confessor, to live the love of others vicariously.

It was said the priests had sexual communion of a sort. Jessit didn't want to know what sort. His own gills mopped up the threads of sweat that ran toward his collar.

Jessit was alone in the temple, and Kalya had him all to himself. He remained kneeling, waiting for Kalya's final blessing, when the old man got up and hobbled toward the tabernacle. His stone beads clinked against one another in rhythm to his footsteps.

Kalya opened the small cabinet, releasing a cloud of curling tendrils of white smoke into the room.
Damn him.
Not the
menze.

He opened the lid to a phamel, the gold perforated incense burner, spooning several hot coals of
menze
into the container. A wry smile crossed the old goat's face when he turned to face Jessit.

Jessit bolted to his feet, backing his way out of the temple, but Kalya was on him in an instant, waving the phamel under his nose.

“You cannot leave, Commander.”

“I have work to do, Lord Kalya. I've spent far too much time in temple already.”

“We have work here as well. And I have a promise to keep to Lord Gilgamesh. He's asked me to commit you to my confidence. Obviously, I can only do that through a
menze
ceremony.” He smiled with a mouthful of gray-tinged teeth.

The old priest lifted a shaky hand holding the chain to the phamel, driving the pearly white smoke into Jessit's nostrils. “Breathe deep, my son. Breathe deep and become one with Anu.”

Jessit held his breath for several minutes before gasping for air. He inhaled a big swallow, regretting it at once. It tickled his nose, permeating every pore of his sinuses and infecting him with a mild euphoria. He relaxed, his shoulders drooping forward, his discretion malleable.

Jessit mouthed an ancient prayer, dropping more syllables than a drunkard. He shouldn't have breathed in so much, but he couldn't evade that wrinkled bag of bones and his jeweled bowl of dreams. His lids grew heavy. The
menze
worked way too fast.

Kalya helped him sit back on his haunches and knelt next to him, the phamel between them. He took Jessit's broad hands into his frail bony ones. “You are blessed above all others, Taelen Jessit. The god Rachel has seen fit to use you for her purpose.”

“We made love, Kalya. It wasn't a holy order.”

“But she forgave you and chose you for her bed. That is a great blessing. She could have chosen anyone.” Kalya leaned into him, his breath still tinged with sulfur. “Why did she choose you?”

Jessit snapped his head, trying to keep his wits about him. “Don't…know.”

“Rubbish. Why did she choose you?”

Jessit hesitated, his senses as tangled as his tongue. He didn't know what day it was, nor did he care. The
menze
relaxed his mind. “Union. She asked for union.”

“What?” Kalya grabbed Jessit by both shoulders. “What does that mean?”

“She said I had a
na'hala.”
Jessit wobbled on his haunches. Nothing hurt on him anymore. Not even yesterday's torture. “I can still feel her inside me.”

“Now? You can feel her now?”

“Yes.” He tapped his solar plexus.

Jessit felt deliciously drunk. A faint smile creased his lips. “I am a descendent of Anu. Or so she says.”

His eyelids closed shut. Too much
menze.
Too much.

Kalya's voice seemed to echo from far away. “Only the priests are descended of Anu.”

Jessit blinked twice, moisture seeping from his tear ducts. He stared at Kalya and his insides felt like they had shattered and turned to dust.
What had he done?

Jessit struggled to his feet. Kalya got up with him and caught him as he staggered. “I have suspected as much all along, Taelen Jessit. You realize of course, I will have to report this to the brotherhood and to your superiors.”

“No! I mean—you can't. You misunderstood.”

“You will be tested again.”

“I will not! I've taken the test of the Holies. You cannot demand it of me again.”

“Think again.” Kalya straightened Jessit's sash and tightened the knot at his knife sheath. “You may find our methods far more advanced now than when you took the test as a boy. You see we've always suspected some children may misrepresent themselves even under the pain of
rigors.
Of course, that would be unfortunate. So we've devised a system where we can scan for brain activity while the postulate is being tested. It's amazing how many more boys are joining the priesthood now.” Kalya's green eyes, dim with age, now brightened. A cold smile painted his face. “It's a pity really. You are a soldier without equal. But I know you will do the priesthood just as much honor.”

Jessit jerked away from the incense and took a breath of untainted air. “I am on a mission of vital importance.”

“I'm sure they'll find someone else to do it.”

“Damn you, old man. This is no time for games.”

“This is out of your hands, Taelen. You will be tested, and I know you will be returning with me to Alturis. You have a lot of catching up to do.”

“Kalya!”

“I am Lord Director to you, young brother. Get used to it.” Kalya brushed his robes past Jessit's legs and rode out in a swirl of incense.

Jessit staggered toward a nearby column to brace himself from the dizzying effects of the
menze. Nausea overwhelmed him
, and there was no time to reach a facility. He hurried over to the holy water fount and threw up.

***

Jessit rushed back to his quarters, avoiding eye contact with any of the crew. No one dared speak to him. No one but Senit.

Senit took one look at him and grabbed him by the arm. “What happened to you?”

“I went to services. Kalya used an extra heavy dose of incense.”

“Your eyes look like red kalaberries.” Senit escorted him to his quarters and ordered the computer to call the ship's physician.

“Belay that order!” Jessit lay on his bed and writhed in anguish. The nausea had returned.

“El'asai can help you.”

“I don't need his help. I want to be left alone.”

“I'm not leaving until you tell me what happened. Kalya doesn't use the incense for services, not unless he's trying to invoke a vision—or a confession.”

“Not your problem, Senit.” Jessit sat up and pushed a pillow to his gut.

Senit brought him some water and sat down next to him. “What did he do to you?”

Jessit shut his eyes. His whole life was a sham and now, everything he had worked for was about to be ripped away from him—including his manhood.

Senit remained steadfast, waiting for an answer. He lowered the temperature in the room and encouraged him to sip at the water.

The water helped, displacing the nausea before it was replaced with something far more sickening. Fear.

Jessit pulled out his ceremonial knife from its sheath, honed to razor sharpness. He examined it, studying each whorl of pounded steel, its edge the color of sunlight. It was a warrior's blade, presented to him in full ceremony twelve years ago when he earned the rank of commander.

Jessit grit his teeth, wishing he had the courage to plunge the dagger into his belly. “Kalya intends to make me a priest.”

He said it in a voice so flat the words fell from their very weight.

“What?” Senit's voice sounded relieved. “That's crazy. He can't force you into the priesthood. You can't see
glory
without the incense.”

Jessit rolled his eyes at Senit then lowered them in shame.

“You—you can't see
glory.
Right?”

The room fell quiet, so quiet Jessit heard the hum of the air recirculation unit murmur against the beat of his hearts. “I've always been able to see it.”

Senit didn't move, didn't breathe while Jessit rolled back, his head flat against the headboard. “This isn't funny, Taelen.”

“Do I sound like I'm joking?” Jessit took a breath. “I've never told anyone. But Rachel I think suspected.”

“Did she tell Kalya?”

“No.” He shook his head, regretting it immediately when the nausea returned. “Fool that I am, I did that all by myself. He must have used a stronger dose of the hallucinogen. It hardly seemed to affect him at all.”

“They're all
menze
addicts. He tricked you.” Senit couldn't hide his disgust.

“What difference does it make? He got his information and plans to send it back to home world.”

“We'll see about that.” Senit jumped to his feet and bolted for the door when Jessit ordered him to stop.

“No, Senit. Let him be.”

“He can't do this to you. If you don't stop him, I will.”

“It was bound to come out sooner or later. Gilgamesh knew I saw him without any drugs. How would it look if my secret came out through him?”

Senit came back and sat on the bed next to him. His friend looked like he felt.

The door chime interrupted their shared misery, announcing a visitor. Jessit motioned to Senit to answer the door while he went into the bathing room so he could wash his mouth.

When Jessit returned, he found Senit and Kalya locked in a blinkless staring match. Senit wasn't stupid enough to defy a high priest, but it didn't mean the old man was safe. Senit was the son of a high-ranking politician; vindictiveness ran in his veins.

Kalya seemed calm enough. He was either too old to frighten or too stupid to know the danger he was in. Jessit wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

“Is there something more, Lord Kalya?”

“Perhaps we should speak alone.” Kalya brushed past Senit dismissively.

“You can speak in front of Senit. I told him.”

Kalya stood in front of Jessit, with all the arrogance and authority that puny body could muster.
The hell with him.
His fate may have been sealed, but he was still in command until new orders came through.

“I have sent word to my superiors and yours. We should hear something within the next couple of days. In the meantime, I thought I could start you on your studies.” Kalya's voice dripped with cold condescension. How long had the old man waited for such an opportunity?

The com-link trilled once, blinking a steady green. For one tiny moment, Jessit's stomach dropped, imagining it might be the call from home world. That wasn't possible, but it didn't keep the terror from eating at him. The hallucinogen was still doing its work.

“Jessit, here.”

“Com station, sir. We have a transmission from Earth. Mr. Denman would like to speak to you.”

Jessit glared at Kalya, grateful for the convenient interruption. “Tell him I will be with him in a moment.” He clicked off the link and showed his guest to the door. “I have work to do Lord Kalya, and until I am relieved of duty, you will see to it that you stay out of my way and out of my sight.”

“This is outrageous! You will pay for such arrogance.”

“And I will lock you in chains if I see or hear from you before my authority is revoked. Do I make myself clear, Kalya?”

“You're making a powerful enemy.”

“I hope not for your sake. I destroy my enemies.”

***

Jessit was glad for Denman's intervention. He expected to see the old man speaking to him from his office, but this meeting was out of doors, in the desert. Jessit glanced down at a control panel and clicked on the locator map. Denman was far away from the compound.

“Thank you for taking my call, Commander.” Denman spoke to him in fluent Alturian. Obviously, he wanted to keep this conversation confidential. But from whom?

“This is an unexpected pleasure. I'm used to dealing with General Sorinsen.”

“Yes, I know. But I have a contact who wishes to see you in private. I don't think it would be wise to let the general know about him at this point in time.”

Jessit's eyes and throat still ached from the
menze.
He needed to stay focused. The seriousness in Denman's voice demanded it. “Who is this contact?”

Denman turned and nodded in obeisance to Gilgamesh who now filled the screen. “My Lord.” Jessit stood up out of reflex and bowed, trying to keep his balance. “How may I serve?”

“I need to see you,” Gilgamesh said in a clipped tone. “I need your help.”

Jessit raised one hand to his chest in pledge. “My ship is at your command, Holiness.”