True for You (5 page)

No,
I’m not okay. I want a hole to open so I can drop in it, and
float away. Let the darkness eat me, until nothing’s left.

“Bliss!”

I
try to say something, but I can’t. My lips won’t move,
and my throat feels like it’s full of marbles.

“Talk to me,
baby doll,” he pleads, sounding nothing like he had when he’d
first woken up this morning. “You’re scaring the hell out
of me.”

Turning
my head a little, I stare at him, though dry eyes.

I
stopped crying four years ago.

*** *** ***

Jackson

I
take Bliss into my arms, settling back against the headboard of the
bed. She’s shaking like crazy, and I have no idea what made her
so scared or what to do about it.

All
I know is the sound of her scream made my hair stand on end.

“I-I…
I’m sorry. I thought I saw a snake on the floor, and I’m
scared to death of those things,” Bliss says, her voice whisper
thin.

Snakes?
In April? “I’m not trying to call you out, but you were
completely inside your head before I even tried to touch you. I said
your name at least five times, and you didn’t say anything.”

“Oh.”
Her nose touches my chest as she turns into me. I hold her tighter,
trying to ignore the softness of her skin against mine, while I run
my hand up and down her back. “Memories.”

“Want
to talk about it?”

“No.”

I
close my eyes. “Fine.” Eventually, I’ll get the
truth out of her.

“I’m
exhausted,” she says. “Can we talk later?”

“Yeah,
sure. I’m exhausted, too.” Not just physically, from not
being able to sleep for the past couple of days, but because I’m
done. Done with love, with doing the right thing, and being a hero
for a happily ever after in which the princess wanted the lowly farm
boy and not the prince. Yeah, my ego is shot to hell. “We can
stay like this, if you want.”

“I
want.”

So
do I. It worries me, though, because after I’d made my decision
to help Cole and Violet, I’d made up my mind to be free. Free
from contracts, from relationships, from my so-called family…
from everything that made no sense.

Only
being with Bliss makes complete sense, and it scares the hell out of
me. This feeling of falling is familiar, but I know what happens when
you stop falling. You hit the ground. Hard. And you’re never
the same again, too damaged to be good for anyone else.

I
open my eyes. “Bliss?”

“Yes?”

“You
heard what I told Everett, that I’m staying married to you,
right?”

She
tips her head back, pretty green eyes staring at me from behind her
glasses, and frowns. “I don’t want you to stay married to
me, because you’re rebelling against your dad.”

“We
didn’t marry for love, Bliss. We got married because I was
drunk and wanted to give my dad the biggest Fuck You possible.”
She starts to draw away from me, but I hold her in place. “Hear
me out, okay?”

She
nods.

“We
didn’t marry for love, or any other rational reason.” Or
at least, not one I can remember.

“Love
isn’t rational,” she points out.

I
grunt. “We weren’t rational, but it doesn’t make us
in love.”

She
licks her lips. “What does it make us?”

“Two
people desperate for one another, for a way out, for anything but how
they’d been living.” I can’t believe I’m
being so raw, so honest with her. “And I think… I think
we should make this marriage official, or at least pretend it’s
official.”

“For
how long?”

I
shrug. “I hadn’t thought that far ahead.”

“Thinking
things through isn’t your strong point, is it?”

“You
think you know everything about me?” I ask, irritated that she
actually does.

“I’m
good at reading people.” She says this without a hint of
smugness. “And I’ve known you for a while.”

“You
don’t know everything about me,” I point out. “I
bet you have no idea what I’m thinking right now.”

She
snorts. “You’d lose that bet.”

Her
confidence makes me smile. I sit up a little, and she scoots away
from, keeping the sheet wrapped around her body. “Do tell.”

She
tilts her head to one side, the first playful smile I’ve seen
on her face in a month making me smile in return. “You’re
trying to think of a way to convince me that even though this
marriage isn’t real, we should have sex anyway.”

“No,
I’m not,” I lie. Of course I’m thinking about
having sex with her. It’s all I’ve thought about since
the first time I met her.

Instead
of getting upset or even disgruntled, Bliss raises her brows. “So
we’re not having sex?”

“Do
you want to have sex?” There. Now the ball’s in her
corner.

“Answer
me first.” The sheet slips lower and, on purpose or not, my
gaze is trained on the newly exposed tops of her breasts.

“Not
fair.”

“All’s
fair in love and war,” she says, and then hops out of bed, with
the sheet wrapped around her. “If you don’t mind, I’d
like a shower, and then we can talk more later.”

Without
waiting for an answer, she darts into the bathroom, leaving me lying
in bed and realizing that I still have no clue about two things:

One—why
did she agree to marry me?

Two—what
in the ever-loving hell made her scream like that?

Chapter Four

Bliss

As
I soap up my hair, I realize I have no idea what Jackson and I will
talk about later.

He’s intent on
staying married, just to further his plans of getting out from under
his father’s thumb.

I
get that. I really do.

However,
this isn’t a game for me, and maybe it’s not one to him,
but I’m the one with the most to lose. If I leave, I have
nowhere to go and not enough money to last me longer than a month,
two if I sleep during the day and get a job waitressing at an
all-night diner.

Over
the years, a nice, warm library, especially the kid’s section
with their comfy beanbags, is a great place to take a nap. It’s
safe, has bathrooms, and I can actually comprehend the books in that
section. Well, the ones for eight years old and under.

One
day, I’d like to be able to read a play by Shakespeare or pick
up a book of poetry and really get what the author means. For now,
I’ll settle for
Junie
B.
Jones
.

In
any case, I have two choices:

One—stay
married to Jackson, and pray that he never finds out the truth.

Two—become
homeless again, and pray I find a job so I can at least eat.

*** *** ***

Jackson

My
buddy, Cameron Hurley, walks into my bedroom without knocking first,
like he owns the place. I swear the guy needs to learn boundaries.
“Jackson Morgan, what in the hell are you doing here?”

“What
does it look like I’m doing?” I mean, I’m in bed
for crying out loud, and there are clothes strewn on the floor. For
all intents and purposes, it looks like I got laid last night.

Of
course, Bliss chooses that very moment to walk out of the bathroom,
with a towel around her head, and my robe around her body. Her eyes
go wide, and she freezes.

Cameron
holds out a hand. “I’m Cameron.”

“Bliss,”
she says softly, edging towards me.

“Seriously,
Cam?”

“I
didn’t know you had company. “ His hand falls to his
side. “You never bring anyone here.”

I
expect a comment from Bliss, or at least a sigh over that, but no.
All she does is ask where the closet is.

Cameron
and I point at the same door, at the same time. Bliss’ gaze
bounces between the two of us, before she walks to it and disappears
inside.

“Seriously,
I didn’t know,” Cameron repeats.

“What
did you think I was doing?”

Cam
points to the television in the corner. “Watching
Cupcake
Wars
.”

I
was, in fact, watching
Cupcake
Wars
.
“You got me. “

“Care to
explain?”

“Cupcakes
are good. They’re like little muffins of happiness.”

“Not
that.”

“Then
what?”

“Your
marriage.”

Rising
to my feet, I click off the television and turn to face Cameron. “I
thought you didn’t know I had company.”

He
shrugs, and if he wasn’t the closest thing I had to a friend, I
would have punched him for lying to me.

“I don’t
believe everything I read, so I decided to come by and find out the
truth.”

“What
exactly did you read?” I know what my dad has told me, but I
haven’t looked for myself, mostly because I’ve been
trained not to look.

Cameron
cocks his head to one side. “Enough to know that you had to
have been drunk to do something so stupid.”

“Who
are you—my mother?”

“No,
I’m your friend. One who won’t lie to you,” he
says. I look away.

Cameron
has never lied to me, not one time. He gives it to me straight, not
sugarcoating anything. If my latest song sucked ass, he’s the
first one to tell me. But I can’t say I’ve treated him
the same. He knows nothing of my dad’s sick, twisted games, or
how much I loved Violet, how it killed me to leave her in that field
with our unborn baby dying inside of her, and it’s because of
all that why Cameron assumes I’m this cheating, low-life who
needs his guidance.

Hell,
he’s not the only one who thinks the worse of me. Everyone
thinks the worse of me, except for Bliss.

“Go
home,” I say, making my way to the closet.

Bliss
is standing inside, still wearing my robe, surrounded by clothes. Her
face flames when she sees me, and she looks down at the floor. Her
bare feet are peeking out of the hem.

Guilt
runs through me, like a river, washing away my anger and frustration.
She has nothing to wear because of me.

Wordlessly,
I pull her into my arms and kiss the top of her head, then begin to
stroke her back. “Sorry. I had no idea he’d barge right
in.” I smile. “Well, usually he barges in, but usually
I’m the only one here, and we go fishing or something.”

“I
wasn’t sure… it’s fine,” she says, still
rigid as hell in my embrace.

“Thought
you might want to grab something to eat. Bliss can come too,”
Cameron yells from the bedroom. So much for him leaving.

“Shouldn’t
you be in class right now, making freshman tremble?” Only two
years older than me at twenty-six, he’s an assistant professor
at the local university.

Bliss
relaxes into me. Did she think I was going to invite him in here,
with us?

“Last
day of Spring Break.”

“Lucky
me,” I mutter into her hair. Slowly, I peel away the robe, and
Bliss goes rigid again. “Trust me,” I say softly, staring
into her pretty eyes and not at her sexy body. “Let’s get
you dressed.”

As
soon as the words are out of my mouth, she goes all soft. “‘Kay.”

Grabbing
the closest t-shirt, I pull it off the hanger, and help her into it.
The hem hits her mid-thigh. Next, I find a pair of old shorts. Ones I
had outgrown years ago, but had kept for sentimental reasons. They
barely go over her curvy hips as she pulls them up.

My
mouth runs dry at the sight of her. She’s not wearing anything
underneath my clothes and her hair is damp from the shower. It curls
every which way, wild and untamed.

Danger,
danger
,
a voice in my head shouts.

“What
do you want me to do now?” she asks softly.

My
gaze finally drops to her chest, the outline of her nipples apparent
under the fabric of my shirt. No way I’m letting Cameron see
her.

“Do
you have anything you can wear under this?”

She
nods. “In the bedroom, the chair beside the dresser.”

“You’re
not helping the rumor mill, Jackson,” Cameron calls out.

Bliss
regards me thoughtfully, and then asks, “Can you get him out of
our bedroom, please?”

That
sets me into motion. “Sure.” I grab a pair of grey sweats
and a t-shirt, dressing in record time. “I’ll get Cameron
to leave and we can—“

“Is
he your friend?”

“In
a way.”

“Shouldn’t
you introduce us?”

No.
“I guess.”

She
places a hand on my arm, the muscles beneath the skin jumping at her
touch. “It’s your choice, Jackson.”

“You’re
the only one who’s ever given me a choice.”

“Not
even Violet?”

Briefly,
I close my eyes at the pain in my heart. “Don’t say her
name.”

“Violet’s
my friend.” Her chin tips up. “She talked to me when no
one else would. She did things with me when no one else would.”

I
would have done things with you, if you’d let me,
I want to point out. Only she had and I’d screwed it up, and
now I’ve screwed up even more by marrying her.

I
step closer to my
wife
.
“Maybe so. But I’ve done
things
with your friend in every position imaginable, and she loved it.
Think about that the next time you want to hang out with her.”