True Love's Deception (book 3) (The Fielding Brothers Saga) (11 page)

She turned and grasped Andrew’s hand. The girl’s eyes shimmered. “And thank you for offering to stay with me. We’ll all have a splendid time together, I’m quite certain. I look forward to getting to know you better.”

Madeline withdrew and walked out of the dining room.

Andrew almost felt proud of himself.
Almost.
Now he waited for Juliana’s onslaught, and especially the moment when he kissed her again to calm her temper. He was determined to tame her one way or another.

* * * *

Juliana stared at the empty doorway. Emotion squeezed her chest, and tears threatened her eyes. Reality was a hard lesson to learn, and right now she berated herself. How could she have been so cruel to her stepmother all these years?

Andrew was right when he’d called her cold-hearted. She’d been like that for as long as she could remember.
But why, exactly?
What had Constance ever done to her? Constance didn’t start trying to run Juliana’s life until she turned sixteen.

The light brush of Andrew’s fingers against her arm snapped her out of her thoughts.

“Juliana? Would you like to take a walk with me outside? I think you need some fresh air.”

She met his stare. “What makes you presume to know this?”

The corner of his mouth lifted. With the back of his knuckles, he swiped at a tear running down her cheek.

“Oh, I don’t know. Call it husbandly intuition, if you will.”

She touched a finger to her eyes, finally realizing she was crying. Sucking in a deep breath, she dried her eyes with the back of her hand.
“A walk outside sounds most refreshing.”

Silence lasted between them as they
strolled
the grounds. The full moon helped light their way since her father hadn’t instructed his servants to properly light the lanterns in the back. A gentle wind breezed through the trees and stirred a lock of hair against her neck. The clean air helped to clear her mind, too, and guilt didn’t weigh so heavily on her heart.

“Thank you, Andrew.” She glanced at him and smiled.

“Whatever for?”

“You are the one who made my step...um...my mother happy, not I.”

“But you are the one who called her Mother. I didn’t force you to do that.”

She shrugged. “True, but if you hadn’t made me look like the worried, caring daughter, then I wouldn’t have played along.”

“Are you sorry you did?”

It took her a few minutes to think about her answer, only because confusion still swam inside her head. She would never regret living with her
grandmama
. Yet perhaps if she had just allowed Constance to be her mother, things would be different between them. Now she doubted Constance was really the ogre Juliana had turned her into so long ago. All of these pains she’d had over the years could have bee ignored if she hadn’t been so spoiled and selfish.

She shook her head. “I suppose I’m not sorry I said that. I do, however, feel extremely sorrowful.”

“Why?”

She looked at Andrew’s handsome face again. The outside shadows made his dreamy blue eyes even dreamier. Either that or it was the lightheadedness she experienced because of the confusing evening. What was wrong with her? Why was she so emotional tonight?

“I’m very guilty because it’s taken me so long to feel this way about Constance. She could have died before I even realized I didn’t hate her after all.” She paused as she curled a lock of hair around her finger. “I can’t remember my mother that well because I was so young when she died, but I remember the pain and grieving my father and I experienced. I would hate to see my father live through it again.”

“Is that why you have kept your distance? Because you don’t want to feel that kind of pain again?

“Possibly.”
She wrung her hands against her middle.

He took her hand and hooked it around his elbow, bringing her closer beside him. “Tell me how your mother died.”

Once again, her chest tightened. Her mother’s death was the very reason Juliana resented marriage. She really didn’t want to discuss this with Andrew—or anyone for that matter. But his tone of voice soothed her somehow; comforted her more than she expected.

“Childbirth.
She died while giving birth to my baby brother. They both died that day.” Emotion choked her up, and she clamped her lips together.

They walked a little while longer in silence. Finally, he stroked her hand. “I’m sorry.”

She blinked and looked at him.
“Whatever for?
You didn’t know my mother.”

He stopped and linked his hands with hers. “Not that. I’m sorry for everything, especially the things I said to you earlier this evening. I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you.”

Memories from the passionate moments on her bed flooded her mind and warmed her cheeks. “Oh.” She glanced down at the grass. “Why did you become so angry? Was it when I told you I didn’t want you touching me?”

“In a way, yes.
You see, a man has certain desires, especially when he’s constantly around a beautiful woman.”

He reached out to touch her face, but dropped his hand mere inches before it reached its target. Disappointment washed through her. Although, she’d told him she didn’t want his touch, her body cried out for it every time he was near.

“Anyway, I apologize for being so forceful earlier.”

He might have been at first, but just before Madeline had disrupted their passionate moment, Juliana had been thinking entirely different. She
had
wanted his touch and his kiss.

She gave him a tender smile. “Thank you. I accept your apology.”

Turning, she continued walking. Her hand stayed in his, and even though she should pull away, it felt too nice to do it now.

Inwardly, she scolded herself. Here she was telling him not to touch her anymore, and yet she still led him on by allowing him to hold her hand. What was wrong with her? Was her self-discipline that weak? What happened to the stubborn woman she’d been before meeting him?

She pulled her hand away from his and folded her arms. “Andrew?”

“Yes?”

“Are you ever going to get that way again?”

“What way?”

“Like you were this afternoon in my room.
You know—passionate.”

He laughed out loud.
“Oh, Juliana.
You are a funny one. Don’t you know that all men get like that when they are being tempted by an enchanting woman?”

“Yes, I suppose.” She kept her attention on the ground so she wouldn’t have to look at him. “But our situation is different. We aren’t really married. This is just a farce. You are in my employ, for heaven’s sake.”

“I understand that, Juliana, but I will still probably get that way again.”

She snapped her head to look at him. Humor laced his smiling face, but there was also a flicker of desire in his steamy eyes. “Why?”

Stopping, he chuckled. “Because my sweet, you will be constantly teasing me whether you know it or not. Brushing up against me, batting your eyes, and giving me those tender smiles of yours awakens a longing inside me I haven’t felt for a while. It shouldn’t, I know, but I’m helpless to stop it. After all, I am a normal man.”

She sucked in a breath. “What will you do? I mean, you won’t...um...come into my room, will you?”

He laughed again. “I’ll try not to.”

“What do you mean you’ll
try
not to?” She slapped his shoulder.

“All right, I won’t. But I have to do something about my manly cravings.”

Heat flooded her face.
Where’s my fan when I need it?
This conversation was certainly not appropriate. And yet she became breathless, and somewhat stimulated. “What, pray, would that be?” Although, she figured she already knew. She licked her suddenly dry lips. “Are you trying to hint that you’ll find another woman if I don’t allow your attentions?”

The laugh lines around his mouth disappeared and a serious expression took over. He stepped closer and stroked her cheek. “Now why would I do that?”

Oh! He was impossible, and not answering her question at all. Indeed, he was a man, and all men she knew would find another woman. Jealous rage poured through her, tightening her chest and throat. She tried to convince herself she didn’t care what he did. Unfortunately, it wasn’t working. “I forbid it!”

His eyes widened.
“You what?”
His voice rose. “You
forbid
it?”

“Yes. I will not allow you to find some trollop behind my back.”

“Listen, Miss
Priss
.” His eyebrow arched. “Ye are
payin
’ me tae be
yer
pretend husband.
Ya
don’t think of me as a real husband, so ye don’t have any say on whether or no’ I choose tae find another woman. And unless
ya
perform the task
yerself
, I don’t want tae hear any complaints.”

Anger boiled through her. She couldn’t think straight, especially with his deep Scottish accent. But imagining him with another woman kissing her the way he’d kissed Juliana… She shivered. No. She wouldn’t allow him to do that. “But...but...”

“Juliana.” He pushed his fingers through his hair and drew in a heavy breath. “I will promise you something, though. When I do find someone, I will not tell you. I will be very discreet and you won’t even know.”

Pain shot through her heart and she squeezed her eyes closed. His promise certainly didn’t make her feel any better. But he was correct. He wasn’t her real husband, so she shouldn’t expect his loyalty. After all, he was a man...and men did have certain needs. It was the way of the world. She knew that, but she didn’t like it one bit, and never had.

She straightened her shoulders and met his stare. “It doesn’t matter to me how many women you seduce, but don’t make it public knowledge. My family doesn’t need to know.”

“They won’t hear it from me.” He held up his hands in surrender.

“Fine.
Good night, Mr. Dean.” With a heavy heart, she turned and walked back to the house.

“Pleasant dreams, Miss Ice Queen,” he mumbled behind her.

Tears stung her eyes and she blinked back the betraying emotion. Something must be wrong with her to act in such a way. It wasn’t like her to act like a totally ninny!

* * * *

The next few days passed with increasing slowness as the Beaumont family and staff prepared for Juliana’s birthday and her parents’ trip. Andrew was ready to scream in frustration. The little discussion he’d had with his wife the other night turned out horrid. Out of anger, he said things he didn’t mean. He knew they were married, and he would never seek another woman’s company. He could tell it made Juliana upset, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell her the truth. Even if he wanted, he couldn’t because she would not let him near her, even while around the family. She kept smiling for appearances sake, but every time he tried to touch her arm or put his arm around her, she skirted away from him.

Madeline, on the other hand, was exactly opposite.

The young woman was almost overeager to help him. She touched him much too often, batted her eyes, and stood very close. He wasn’t daft. He knew Madeline had taken a liking to him. But he hoped she wouldn’t pursue it further.

The younger sister hung on his every word, and when he mentioned he liked to fish, she drove him to a place not far from their estate where everyone went to indulge in the leisure activity. She even offered to drive him into town to do some shopping, but he declined. He wasn’t ready to meet people without Juliana on his arm.