Trust (Blind Vows #1) (5 page)

~ Chapter 8 ~

“What’s this?”  Smiling, she insisted that I open it.  Sitting back down, I opened the card.  With a shaky breath, my eyes skimmed over the writing.  The words were sweet and had me crying all over again.

“Read the damn card!”  Jaime was eager to know what it said and so was Stacey.

To my future wife,

Thank you for taking a chance. If you’ve gotten half the grief I have, I can only imagine how nervous you are. I can’t help but think about you walking the same city streets as me, wondering if we’ve already met. Like ships passing in the night, I’ve been looking for you and know that you’ve been looking for me, too. Now I’ve found you. From this day on I will be your anchor, the one you can always depend on. If the sea of life gets rough, know you can turn to me. I hope you will be the same for me…

My anchor.

I can’t wait to begin this new journey with YOU.

~ See you at the altar…

Your future husband

Jaime sniffled, “Oh, God.  He’s so sweet.”  I was crying and Stacey was on the verge.

I opened the small box that accompanied the card and opened it up.  Gasping, I pulled out a necklace with a silver anchor charm.  “It’s beautiful.”  We were looking it over when the receptionist went to leave.  “Wait!  I have a gift for him, too.”

I got up and walked to the dresser.  Placing the box and the card in her hands, I said, “Make sure he gets this.”  She nodded and left.

Stacey asked, “What’d you get him?”

“I guess you’ll have to wait and see.”

“Alright.  So, you’re good?  Cuz I’m ready to celebrate!”

“Yes, I’m good.”

“Alright.  Turn that depressing shit off.  I have a song of my own I want you to hear.” 

I turned my music off as Stacey started hers.  The song had us cracking up as we listened to it a few times. 
Dear Future Husband
by Meghan Trainor
put us all in great spirits as we started doing my hair and makeup.

Sitting in the chair a couple hours later, we made the final touches to my hair and makeup.  “Ok.  I think you’re ready.  Just need to get you in your dress.”

My mom had arrived by then and was sniffling.  “Mom, please.”

“It’s just...I knew this day would always come, but I don’t think you’re ever ready for it.”

“Please!  You’ve been ready to marry me off since I could talk back.”  We were all laughing.

My mom replied, “Well, yes, that is true.  You still have that sass that drove me crazy.  Now you get to drive someone else crazy!”

“Yeah.  Good luck to the lucky sir.”  I glared at Stacey and stuck my tongue out at her.

“Don’t mess up your makeup!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

We pulled my dress off the hanger and began the tedious process of lacing up the corset back.  Once it was on, I had Jaime put the anchor necklace around my neck.  I stood back and looked in the mirror.  It was real.  I loved the dress.  I knew what I’d wanted and was so happy that it actually looked good when I’d tried it on at the store a couple weeks prior. 

I hadn’t heard my dad walk in and turned to see him.  “You’re a vision.”  Smiling, he leaned in and kissed my cheek.

“Thank you.”

“So, you’re really doing this?”

Touching the necklace that rested above my heart, I replied, “Yes.  I’m really doing this.”

Nodding, “Ok.  They’re waiting.”

“Ok.  I just have to make sure I have everything.” 

We all did another once-over of the room and put my bags by the door.  They’d be moving my belongings to the honeymoon suite once the wedding had taken place. 

Honeymoon.  I had to pack for that, too.  All I knew was that we were going somewhere warm.  I couldn’t wait to get my bikini on and sink my feet into the sand, assuming there would be sand. 

My dad and I waited for the next elevator and sent my mom, Stacey, and Jaime on down ahead of us.  I knew he just wanted a moment alone with me and I was going to give it to him. 

Pulling me close, he whispered, “I love you, munchkin.”

“I love you, Dad.”

“So, what are you going to do if he’s the ugliest man you’ve ever seen?”

I balked at him.  “Dad!  You’re not helping.  I mean, looks are nice, but they’re not everything.”

“You’re asking a lot of me.  Giving you away is one thing, but to a complete stranger...”  I watched as he pulled at the collar of his shirt.  “Maybe we should agree on a word or signal.  You say it and we’ll high-tail it out of there.”

Laughing, I agreed.  The elevator doors opened and we stepped inside.  “I’ll ask for a piece of gum.  That work?”

“Got it.  One mention of gum and I’ll pull my gun and send him running for the hills.”

When the elevator doors opened, we were escorted to a private room and told it would be just a few minutes.  My mother had been asked to take her seat while Jaime, Stacey, my dad, and I waited.  Our bouquets were waiting for us and it seemed like an eternity as we waited.  My hands were sweating and my heart was racing. 

The room doors opened, “It’s time.”  Jaime and Stacey flashed me their cheesy grins in unison as we headed toward the small chapel the hotel had on site.  Standing to the side so that I couldn’t sneak a look at my groom, I watched as Jaime and Stacey disappeared into the chapel. 

The murmur of voices carried through to where my father and I stood.  Almost more than I would expect from people awaiting a bride.  I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it all.  My dad seemed to sense my concern.

“Say the word.”  I just shook my head.

“I’m sure they’re all nervous for us.”

The song I had selected to walk down the aisle to, began to play.  I wanted something different and chose
History In The Making
by Darius Rucker
.
  The doors reopened and everyone standing blocked my view of my groom.  My eyes drifted to the floor and then to my friends and family on my side of the aisle.  The nerves were coursing fiercely through me and I was petrified to look at my groom or anyone on his side of the aisle.  Finding my mother’s eyes, I expected to see her sad and instead she was ecstatic.  Apparently I had been right.  She was ready to be rid of me.

My father took in a sharp breath and mumbled something under his breath.  Darting my eyes to my groom, I froze in my tracks.  What the ever living fuck?

“Lucy, what’s going on?”

I couldn’t breathe and I wanted to blame my tight dress, but knew the dress wasn’t that tight and had nothing to do with what I was experiencing.  I looked to my mother and then over to the other side of the aisle.  His family was just as excited as mine was.  Was this a joke?

“Lucy.”  My father was trying to get my attention and tugged on my arm.  “Lucy, is this a prank?”

Shaking my head, I looked to my dad.  “I, I don’t know.”  This had to be a joke.  There was no other explanation.

I heard him say my name and looked to see him approaching my father and me.  “Lucy.”

Unlinking arms with my father, I took a step back and put my hand up.  “Stop right there.”  He did just that, the smile leaving his clean-shaven face.  “What the FUCK is going on?”

“Lucille Rose!”  My mother chastised me, causing him to smirk at me.

“Wipe that fucking grin off your face!”  I totally forgot about the guests we both had in attendance and unleashed my fury at him.  “You did this didn’t you?  This is some sick prank.  How much did it cost you?  Is your brother in on this too?”  I glanced to his side and they were all there, minus O who was on another tour of duty.

“Lucy, I swear I didn’t know.”

“You’re a liar!”  I was beginning to hyperventilate and I wanted to hurt someone, anything.  “You expect me to believe that line of bullshit?”  He took another step closer.  “Don’t you come near me Heathcliff Kerrigan!”

~ Chapter 9 ~

Turning, I ran out of the chapel and down a back hall, aware of him and my father calling after me.  Finding an empty conference room, I dropped my bouquet on the table and tried catching my breath.  That summer invaded my memories once again, specifically that night as I fled his room after finding out
he
was Heath and not Will.

“Explain what?  You lied to me.  Was it you all week?”  I was shaking with the anger and sadness that coursed through me.

It was then I picked up on the mannerisms of Heath and how they were different than William’s.  His hair was disheveled—always—and he flexed his neck until it popped and his lips pursed.  Now that I thought about it, I never saw these actions out of William. 

“It’s been me the past few days.”  He moved a step closer and I put my hands up, warding him off.

“Was this all a game to you?  I don’t understand.”  I turned my back to him, not wanting him to see any more of my tears.

“Lucy, I, shit.  I don’t know why I did it.” 

His hands touched my shoulders and I pulled away just as quick.  I turned to see Will and who must’ve been his girlfriend walking over.  She was a skank, I just knew it and I was totally jealous.  They were oblivious to my predicament, or were they?

“Aww, lovers quarrel?”

“Shut up, Will.”

I heard Will’s girlfriend ask how old I was and that just fueled my fire.  “Old enough to know that Will deserves better than the likes of you!”

She made a step toward me and I didn’t flinch, but Heath stepped between us as if I needed his protection.  Will grabbed her hand and they wandered off before anything else could be said between her and me.

  “You might want to put a leash on her, Heath.”  Will’s words just infuriated me more.

Turning back to face me, he chastised me.  “What’s wrong with you?”

Shoving his chest as hard as I could, I screamed, “YOU!”

“Lucy…”

“Stop saying my name.  You, you…”  I couldn’t even finish my train of thought.  I was beyond angry.  “I need to go.”

Stepping in front of me he pleaded, “We need to talk about this, us.”

Scrunching my face up I screeched at him, “There is no US, therefore there’s nothing to talk about.”  Motioning my hand between us I bit out, “This never happened.  And you and your brother will NEVER fool me again.”

He let me pass and I retreated to my bedroom.  I had the smallest room in the house, but I was also the only one who had my own room.  The perks of being the only girl in both families. 

I cried myself to sleep that night and wasn’t sure if it was because I knew Will was taken or because I felt like I’d betrayed them both.  It was ridiculous to feel like I was the one who betrayed them.  They betrayed me, not the other way around.  The gravity of finding out that the whole time I thought Will was falling for me, I was actually with Heath.  Was Heath really falling for me like he said or was it all part of the scam?  I didn’t want to know.  All I knew was that I detested Heath and the events of that week just solidified it.

Seeing him over the years wasn’t something I could get out of.  Our parents were best friends.  I always put on a happy face and avoided Will and Heath like the plague.  I also may have flaunted any boyfriend I had in front of them. 

The door flung open, pulling me back to reality.  FUCK.  How had I let him do this to me again?  Had it even been Heath?  He was clean shaven and that was typically William’s look.  Shit!  Turning, I saw that it was Stacey, not who I was expecting, but someone I preferred.

“Lucy, what’s going on?  When I walked down the aisle I was shocked.  I thought maybe the two of you had this planned all along.”

“I didn’t PLAN THIS.”  Pacing the floor and wringing my hands together I began rambling.  “How, why, I don’t understand.  What did I ever do to him to deserve this?”

Stacey walked over and tried consoling me with a hug, but sat down when I refused her.  “Lucy, before you walked down the aisle he was radiating joy.  I know I don’t know him that well, but I don’t think he planned this.  Your mom and his mom were talking across the aisle, both so happy and surprised.”

Scoffing, “Of course our mothers are happy.  They’ve wanted me married to one of the boys since before my conception.”  Stacey chuckled and I glared at her.

“Lucy, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

She took a deep breath, then asked, “What happened between the two of you all those months ago?”

I spit out, “Nothing,” before she was finished asking.

“Umm, bullshit.”

“Excuse me?”

“Lucy, I’ve known you long enough to know that something happened.  You know I don’t care, just tell me.  Maybe it’ll help.”

Turning away from her I found a chair and sat in it.  Looking out the window I started talking.  She knew I disliked Heath, but didn’t know about that summer I turned sixteen, and I wasn’t going to tell her now.  “That night he walked us home we almost ended up in bed together.”  I left it at that.  No one needed to know that I let him blow his load in my mouth like a five dollar hooker.

“Almost?  I thought for sure…”

“No.  He said I was like a sister to him and then we fell asleep on the couch together.”

“Wait, you’re like a sister to him, but he stayed the night?  I’m confused.”

“How the fuck do you think I felt?”

“Jesus.  So nothing else happened after that?”

Groaning, I confessed, “The night we were at the bar and him and all his brothers showed up…”

“Yes, I remember.  You left with Jaime.”

“Yes because we almost did it again in the alley, then Will saw, and I left and he showed up on my doorstep, begging me for a second chance.”

“Will saw!  Saw what?”  Stacey looked as confused as I felt.  “Second chance at what?”

Ignoring her first question, I answered the second.  “We kind of had a thing when we were teenagers.  It’s complicated.”

She jumped up out of her chair, “I knew it!”

“What the fuck do you mean you ‘knew it’?”

“Everyone knows you dislike each other, but it’s more than that.  You two have like unrequited love for one another or some shit.”

“Uh, or some shit.  Believe me, there’s nothing unrequited about it.”

Gasping, she proclaimed, “You’re in love with him!”

“’Da fuck?  I am NOT!”

Jaime walked in and added, “I think thou doth protest too much.”

I wasn’t sure how long she’d been standing there, but clearly long enough.  “Shut up.”

She smiled at me and sat down next to me.  “Lucy, he didn’t know.  He’s outside and wants to talk to you.  He told me he had no idea.  I believe him.”

“He who?  I’m not even sure if it was Will or Heath.”

“Who do you want it to be?  What does your gut tell you?”

“Heath.  It was Heath.”  They smiled and nodded.  “But, he can’t be my match.  We hate each other.”

They both said it in unison and giggled, “There’s a thin line between love and hate.”

“Fuck off!”

“Lucy?”  All our eyes whipped to the door where Heath stood.  “Can I talk to you?  Please?”  His voice was low and I hated how my body reacted to it, to him.

Without saying two words to me, Stacey and Jaime left the room.  Traitors.  I turned my chair slightly, resting my elbows on the table.  My head was pounding and I began massaging my temples.  I heard the leather of the chair exhale as he sat down in the chair closest to me.

“Lucy,” I moved my eyes to his and waited for him to speak.  “The experiment brought us both here.  I promise.”

“I don’t believe you.”  My voice cracked and the tears pinpricked my eyes.  How could he do this to me?  “How could you do this to me?”

Pulling my hands from my temples, he wrapped his large hands around mine.  “When I saw you walking down the aisle, I couldn’t have been happier.  To have you as my wife…  I can’t explain to you how happy that makes me.”

Searching his eyes, I knew in my heart he was telling the truth, but I couldn’t wrap my emotions around it all.  I couldn’t marry him.  “Heath, I can’t marry you.”

His head jerked back slightly, but he never let go of my hands.  “Why not?”  I didn’t have a response and he asked another question.  “You're here because the experiment revealed your match, right?  How could I have anything to do with that?"

“It’s more complicated than that.”

“No it’s not.  It’s the best surprise.”

“What do you mean?  You hate me and the feeling is mutual.  I’m like a sister to you.  It’s bordering on incest.”

Chuckling, he asked, “You really think that’s how I feel about you?”

Sighing, “Think?  You said it yourself all those months ago.”

“Lucy, you were drunk.  I wasn’t going to have you that way, but you were so determined to make it happen.  Like a douchebag I let you get me off then I freaked.  I said the only thing I thought would get you to stop.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Yes, we all know this.  And your sass is probably going to kill me.”  I tried holding back the smile as I shook my head at him.  “But I’d die happy.”  I rolled my eyes at him.  “When you turned me down, told me you were spoken for…Wait, so was that all a ruse?”

“I’d just applied for the program.  I didn’t think it would be fair to start something with you when I’d already committed.”  Prying a hand away, I wiped the drying tears that lingered under my eyes.

“Here.”  He handed me the decorative handkerchief from his lapel and I spotted the cuff links I’d purchased, solidifying it even more for me. 

“Cuff links.”  I couldn’t muster anything else.

“‘Stay calm and say I do’.  Really, Lucy?”  I just shrugged my shoulders.  After I handed his handkerchief back to him he said, “Perfect.”  His fingers moved to hold the anchor hanging from my neck.  “I meant what I said in that card.”  We sat in silence for a minute or two when he said, “So, let’s do this.”

I snorted and narrowed my eyes at him.  “You’re out of your mind.”

“If I’m out of my mind then so are you.  I’ve known you my whole life.”

“Exactly!  Hold up.  So, when did you apply to the program?”  He started to talk and then I stopped him, “Wait, I don’t think I want to know.”

“Lucy, you don’t get it.”

“Get what?”

Taking my hands in his again, he confided in me, “I’ve wanted you since that summer.  Don’t you know that by now?”

The tears started again.  “You had a funny way of showing it.  You’ve had ten years to come and get me.  Why didn’t you come and get me?” 

“Lucy,” he moved closer, knees flanking mine, and pulled me to his chest.  I let him hold me as he whispered, “Please have faith.  They paired us together for a reason.”

“More as a joke.  All we do is fight.  And you gave up on us.  You could be marrying a stranger right now.”

Sighing, “I never gave up.  I just, you’re like the unattainable dream.”  I tried to say something and he shushed me.  “As to the fighting…” he sighed, “…silly Lucy.  I fight with you because I can’t seem to reach you any other way.  There’s no one else I’d rather fight with.”

I asked what I’d wanted to know for ten years.  “What really happened that summer?”

“What didn’t happen that summer?  I fell in love with the one girl I didn’t want to fall in love with.”  I stiffened at his words and pulled back.  As if he knew I doubted his confession, he said it again.  “I fell in love with you that summer, Lucy.  And then like a dumbass I let you walk away from me.”

“After you broke my heart.”

“I didn’t think you cared.”

“Me either.”

He nodded, “I know.  I should’ve told you it was me from the beginning.  But would you have given me a chance?  You were so consumed with Will…”  He didn’t finish.  “He’s the one who sees you as a sister, not me.”

“I, I don’t know.  We’ll never know.  We can’t know.”

“Don’t you know?  We can know.”

“I looked for you, every week, at the bar.  You were never there anymore.”

“I knew you’d be there.  I couldn’t handle the risk of seeing you there with
him
.  Now I know that
he
never really existed.”

He stroked my face with his hands and I closed my eyes.  His scent was swarming around me and then his lips were on mine.  Gripping his lapels, all I could smell was his cinnamon breath and I licked at the seam of his mouth.  Groaning, he tried getting closer to me, but my dress made it almost impossible.  Hands circled around me, grasping my bare shoulders.  His fingers gently moved back and forth as goosebumps formed on my body.

Heath pulled us to our feet, the height difference became more evident.  His erection pressed into my belly as I let my tongue glide over his.  I couldn’t deny my body’s reaction to him.  I wanted him.  It was purely physical.  My hand moved to his face, moving over his recently shaved jawline.