Trust Me (30 page)

He rubbed her back
with long, lingering strokes. “Let me care for you.”

She pressed her face
against his chest.

He traced his
fingertips over her other cheek. Gentleness that put a lump in her throat.

“Shall I put you to
bed now?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said
softly.

****

“My lady.”

Nellie’s voice broke
into her sleep.

“Oh Nellie, please go
away.” She rolled over and pulled the covers over her head.

“But my lady, the
Duke of Saxby is here to see you.”

What could Saxby
possibly want?

“Surely his lordship
can—”

“Lord Ruel has gone
riding.”

Anne threw back the
covers then forced herself to sit. The soft forgetfulness of sleep quickly
faded and pain twisted its way back into her consciousness.

Nellie helped her to
prepare herself with very stiffly held shoulders and she refused to make eye
contact.

“What ever is the
matter, Nellie?” She couldn’t keep the impatience out of her voice.

“I don’t know what
you mean, my lady.”

Anne patted her face
dry. “Why the hurt silence?”

“I am only trying to
do as I was told.” Nellie compressed her lips.

“Please, I have had a
trying day. Don’t play guessing games with me.”

“His lordship took me
aside this afternoon and reminded me that I have a position of privilege as
lady’s maid to the Countess of Ruel. Then he also reminded me that I should not
presume or be out of order or in any way disrespect your privacy.”

Anne’s stomach sank.
“Oh… Yes, well, I am sorry. I am very sorry, Nellie.” She put down the towel.
“I cannot deal with this matter now, Nellie. But please, put aside your hurt
feelings with me. I did not prevail upon him to give you such a speech.”

She completed her
dressing then hurried to the parlour. Sebastian was standing waiting for her
when she entered.

His gaze swept over
her. He took her hands. ”You look tired, Anne. Are you well?”

“I am fine. The
dowager Countess arrived this morning. I have been busy preparing.” She led him
to the settees and she took a seat.

“They shall bring
some tea and cakes soon,” she said, to fill the silence.

“Did you receive my
gift?” he asked.

“Gift?”

“Oh, damn. They must
have delivered them to the wrong place.”

The idea of another
man sending her presents was a bit unsettling, but she managed a smile to mask
her discomfort. “How thoughtful of you to send a gift.”

The cakes and tea
came. They had just finished them when she caught him staring at her strangely.
“Pardon me, Sebastian, but why are you looking at me like that?”

He pursed his lips
and shifted his gaze away from hers.

“Oh please, just tell
me.”

Sebastian returned
his gaze to hers. “He punished you, didn’t he?”

“What?”

“Don’t cover for him.
I saw, when you sat. You winced.”

She froze. Her
breathing stopped. Then resumed, at thrice its normal pace. Something that had
been so thrilling, so sublime, a delicious secret between herself and Jon,
suddenly made her ashamed. Heat flooded her face. She shook her head and waved
him off. “No, how silly.”

“Not silly at all,
Anne. What the devil are those marks?”

“What marks?”

“On your wrists.”

She glanced down. Her
gloves! She’d left them by her basin when she’d rushed in and splashed some
cool water over her face before receiving him. How to explain?

“I wore a bracelet
that Jon gifted me with. It irritated my skin.”

“Ah, I see.”

“What do you think
you see?” She felt persecuted. On trial.

“You feel a need to
protect yourself against the shame of anyone finding out that your husband
plays the brute, the tyrant.”

“He doesn’t.”

Sebastian’s look
turned sad. “You didn’t believe me when I said that I would always be a friend
to you. You can come to me anytime. I shall protect you, no matter what.”

****

“You had an afternoon
caller?”

Anne looked up from
her book.

Jon was practically
glaring at her down his narrow nose.

Why should he be
vexed with her? She returned his gaze evenly. “It was only Sebastian.”

“He also sent the roses.”

She stared at him
dumbly. “What roses?”

“The ones in the vase
on your bedside table.”

She put down her
book, arose and went to look in her bedchamber. There on her bedside table
stood a bouquet of roses in a pale-green vase. “Oh my, I didn’t notice them.
When did they bring them?”

“It must have been
after you awoke and left the chamber.”

She rubbed her nape.
“Why do you believe Saxby sent them?”

“I read the card.”

“Oh.” She felt rather
foolish not to have noticed the flowers. But she’d been in a rush earlier. The
meeting with Jon’s grandmother had deeply unsettled her. And now, worn out from
the strains of the day, she’d been intent on escaping into a book for a while
in the hours before supper. She smiled wanly. “Sebastian is just being kind.”

He handed her the
folded card. “Read.”

She took the card and
read.

Your indiscretion of last evening will remain safe with me
.

Her heart began to
beat very fast. Oh God, how intimate Sebastian made things sound! She was sure
he didn’t mean it. But heavens…

“He’s speaking of the
claret, I take it?”

She nodded.

“A shared secret
between the two of you.”

“I told you, even
when you tried to prevent me from telling.”

“So you did.”

“It is nothing.”

“Do you not see it?”

“See what?”

“He’s courting you.”

“Courting me? How
absurd. I am wed already.”

“He is courting you
for an
affaire
.”

“Jon, I hardly think
that—”

“I shan’t tolerate
your taking lovers.”

“Jon!” She couldn’t
believe he was actually taking this seriously.

“I mean it Anne, I
won’t even tolerate a flirtation.”

“I-I cannot believe
you are seriously lecturing me on this. You must know I would never—
could
never—dishonour a husband in that
way. To say nothing of fact that I love you too much to be intimate with
another man—or even to look upon one with a true desire to bed him.”

“I remember Eastwood
Place. I remember how you looked at Mr Kean.”

“Well, you’re wrong
in what you think you saw. I had no true desire to bed him.”

“Anne, I know what I
saw. I know that you have the normal feelings of any healthy example of your
sex. I know what bored noblewomen are capable of. Women are just as apt to
stray as men.”

“Oh yes, I know you
know this. Maria betrayed her husband with you. And so did your common-born
Rebecca.”

“Yes, they both
betrayed their husbands and not only with me. But you believe you are so
different from them?”

”I know I am.”

His jaw tensed. “Tell
me Anne, if we had met when William was yet living, would we have denied
ourselves?”

“Jon!” She did not
want to think about such a scenario.

He fixed her with a
penetrating look. “Could you have denied what we have?”

“That’s a very unfair
question.” Heat suffused her whole body and she took several deep, rapid
breaths. “I can’t answer.”

He shot his hand out
and grasped her wrist. His eyes were pitiless. “Do not deflect. Answer me.
Knowing that William lay with whomever he wished, despite your feelings, could
you have denied yourself consolation?”

“I felt no need for
any man’s consolation.”

“Oh yes, you had your
books. All your dead philosophers.”

“Please don’t be
snide. It makes you look ugly.”

He smiled thinly.
Carnal awareness of him crackled through her every sense.

“All right then,
Anne, I’ll ask another way. Could you have denied our love?”

She looked away. “You
know I could have denied you nothing.”

The admission hurt.
She despised herself for it.

“You better come to
know yourself. Naïve women cause all the problems in the world.”

“I do understand
myself in this one matter. I shan’t betray you. Ever.”

“You had best not. For
if you do, you’ll have a man’s blood on your hands.”

Anne had turned at
least three shades paler. Jon could have bitten his tongue off for his choice
of words. Damn it. “Anne, forgive me, I didn’t think about what I was saying.”

She shook her head.
“No, somehow I have given you the impression that I shall be unfaithful. I
don’t know how, but it must be my fault.”

Damn, damn, damn.
Here he’d been, reprimanding her in the manner of a jealous husband.

He
was
a
jealous husband.

The thought made him
wince inside.

What was the matter
with him? He
did
trust her. She
wasn’t like Maria or any other bored Mayfair wife he’d amused himself with in
his bachelor days. The guilt was his. He had a guilty conscience about his old
cuckolding ways.

Imagine that.

Christ.

Love had thoroughly
weakened him and in ways he’d never anticipated.

He put two fingers
under her chin.

She allowed him to
tip her face up. Her eyes were twin pools of hurt. He winced again. “Just watch
yourself with Saxby.” He tried hard to keep his voice gentle.

“You are being very
unfair with me.” Her soft tone sliced into him.

“It’s all Saxby’s
doing.” He traced her cheek with his fingertips. “You’ve nothing to feel guilt
about and I was wrong to accuse you.”

“What has Saxby done
wrong? He has only been kind to me.”

He smiled thinly.
“Anne, I know the mind of a man. I know what I would do in his position.”

“This is amusing to
you?”

“No, not at all.”

She pulled away from
him and hugged her shoulders.

An odd sensation
prickled in his chest. He exhaled slowly. “Anne, forgive me.”

She looked up. “You
spoke out of turn to Nellie.”

Her change of subject
surprised him. He froze for a moment. He’d forgotten all about that. “No, I
didn’t.”

“She’s my servant.”

“And you are my wife.
I will protect you in every way necessary.”

“I have said before
and I repeat it now. I think I should be responsible for my own personal
servants. They should be paid out of my own purse.”

“I disagree. I shall
pay for everything in this house, including wages for servants. And every
servant in this house will be subject to my final authority. The matter is
closed.”

****

Watching Jon walk to
the door of her chamber, Anne felt a curious stubbornness take hold of her. This
matter was not done. They would settle it out between them by and by. What was
left for a lord and his lady to do when they quarrelled but to retire to their
separate chambers?

But the day had been
too straining and the past hovered too closely for her comfort.

She didn’t want to go
to sleep yet, for dark dreams might await her.

And she didn’t want
to chance being alone.

She pulled her
chemise over her head and tossed it aside. “Jon.”

He paused and turned.
His gaze immediately dropped to her breasts and he raised his brows. “Anne?”

She dropped to her
knees and looked down at the floor, as she knew this would please him best. She
heard his soft footfalls on the rug. He stopped in front of her and touched her
head.

Jon observed his wife
kneeling at his feet and stroked her glossy, darker-than-midnight hair.
Carnality had been the last thing on his mind.

She leant forwards
and pressed her cheek to his thigh, then she looked up at him whilst caressing
her hand up along the inside of his leg to his groin.

His cock leapt to
life, swelling with blood with a suddenness that seemed almost violent. The
rush of stunning sensual energy she could provoke in him was nothing short of
astounding.