TTYL (11 page)

mad maddie:

hello, zo. i am txting u out of boredom even tho
i know yr asleep. why do u go to bed so frickin early, fool?

zoegirl:

i don't ALWAYS. i'm finishing some research for my english paper, thank you very much.

mad maddie:

ooo, for mr. h? kissy, kissy.

zoegirl:

shut up

mad maddie:

ur not going to that fellowship thing again tomorrow, r u?

zoegirl:

i am, and please don't make fun of me.

mad maddie:

well… since you asked so nicely. but can we make fun of angela and this dumb party she's dragging us to?

zoegirl:

absolutely

mad maddie:

she needs to lighten up about this whole rob and tonnie deal. if there IS something going on b/w rob and tonnie, then angela should drop rob on his ass and be done with it. and if there ISN'T, then rob should drop angela on hers, cuz i'm sure she's driving him just as nuts as she's driving us.

zoegirl:

you don't think tonnie's t-r-o-u-b-l-e?

mad maddie:

HA! she bitched about that to u too! when u KNOW she would totally wear that shirt herself if she'd found it first.

zoegirl:

that thought did cross my mind…

mad maddie:

ah, well. so we'll go to this party at carl's and it'll be dorky, but that's ok cuz we'll be together.

zoegirl:

yeah, but don't say anything to my mom about it. (not that u would.) hey, i've got to finish this essay, k?

mad maddie:

sure, sure. such a good girl you are.

mad maddie:

i'm a good girl too, tho. wanna know why?

zoegirl:

why?

mad maddie:

cuz i changed my very own sheets this afternoon. aren't i so virtuous?

zoegirl:

you are the queen of virtue, yes.

mad maddie:

it'd been over two months. they were starting to reek!

SnowAngel:

maddie, i sure hope yr getting dolled up for the party. r u getting dolled up for the party?

mad maddie:

angela, u promised u weren't gonna get all freaky about this. i don't do “dolled up,” remember?

SnowAngel:

yeah, but zoe's already here and rob's gonna be here any minute, and then we're coming to pick up u and stupid tonnie.
i just want everything to go well.

mad maddie:

lighten up—it's just a party.

mad maddie:

what r u wearing? i know how u love to discuss these things, and i'm pretty sure that's the real reason u txted. so go on. lay it on me.

SnowAngel:

well… *since* you asked. attire: swirly dragon t-shirt, white jeans (i read recently that guys LOVE girls in white jeans), sapphire ring, my red heels from zappos. scent: vanilla musk.

mad maddie:

fab

SnowAngel:

and u?

mad maddie:

gray sweats and the pops' wifebeater shirt

SnowAngel:

maddie!

mad maddie:

jk

SnowAngel:

eeek—rob's here! he just pulled in the drive. SEE U SOON!!!

mad maddie:

some party last night, hmm?

zoegirl:

ack. and that's i why i HATE parties. why does angela never believe me when i tell her i hate parties?!!!

mad maddie:

i know what u mean. i always feel awkward, like i don't belong.

zoegirl:

yeah, right, miss thang. i saw you shaking your booty to all the dance songs.

mad maddie:

for your information, i was dancing ironically.

zoegirl:

you were a dancing fool

mad maddie:

whatevs. it's cuz i had a couple of beers.

zoegirl:

uh… yeah. everybody had a couple of beers except for me, even kristin and megan who last year didn't drink at all.

zoegirl:

and then everyone looked at me like “ooo, geek girl,” like i was going to report them to the honor council.

mad maddie:

so just have a beer, for crying out loud!

zoegirl:

no thanks

mad maddie:

is it cuz of christ our lord? cuz he drank the wine, zo.

zoegirl:

i'm not going to drink just because other people do, thank you very much. it's stupid.

zoegirl:

mr. h told me that he used to be a total hellion, that he'd drive around with his buddies and bash in trash cans and stuff. but then he realized he was just doing it to be cool, so he stopped.

zoegirl:

he says it takes strength to be true to yourself.

mad maddie:

mr. h claimed to be a *hellion*?

zoegirl:

well, yeah. so?

mad maddie:

and he used that very word? “hellion”?? it's like he's trying to be all badass to impress u.

zoegirl:

he also told me how he used to only listen to metal bands, but he doesn't anymore, now that he's a christian.

mad maddie:

this just gets better and better. does he tell everyone this stuff, or just u?

zoegirl:

he's NICE, maddie. he listens to me. he cares what i have to say.

zoegirl:

and i might as well tell you, i think i'm going to go to church with him tomorrow.

mad maddie:

wtf?!!

zoegirl:

well, ok, i AM going to church with him tomorrow.

mad maddie:

WTF?!!!!!

zoegirl:

he invited me on the way to fellowship on friday. it sounds cool.

zoegirl:

there's nothing wrong with trying it out.

mad maddie:

zoe, are angela and i gonna have to hire a deprogrammer to come rescue u from some cabin? r u gonna become mr. h's love slave?

zoegirl:

you're so overreacting. it's a CHURCH, maddie.

mad maddie:

how r u gonna get there? oh god, is he picking u up? is this a DATE?

zoegirl:

maddie…

mad maddie:

what does your mom say about all this?

zoegirl:

she thinks it's fine. she thinks it's good that i'm broadening my horizons.

mad maddie:

one way to put it…

mad maddie:

so IS he picking u up? u avoided the question.

zoegirl:

yes, maddie, he's picking me up. but it's NO. BIG. DEAL.

mad maddie:

uh huh. *extremely* fishy.

zoegirl:

i knew you were going to act like this. i totally knew it. i thought, because you are my FRIEND, that i should include you in my life, but your attitude is really bugging me.

mad maddie:

well, sorreee

zoegirl:

i've got to go. i've got a ton of homework.

mad maddie:

but… but… we didn't get to gossip about rob and angela!

zoegirl:

drat. oh well.

mad maddie:

did i tell u i saw rob grab tonnie's ass on the way to the keg?

zoegirl:

u DID?

mad maddie:

well, not exactly, but he laughed at her stupid jokes all night. i hate “dumb blond” jokes, and i'm not even blond.

zoegirl:

yes u are

mad maddie:

i'm dirty blond. doesn't count!

mad maddie:

lovely morning, isn't it? the birds r singing, the sun is shining, the bald man from across the street has shut off his cursed lawn mower…

SnowAngel:

what makes u so chipper today?

mad maddie:

moi? nothing, other than the fact that i had a great time at work last night. speaking of, what happened to u and rob? i thought u two were gonna come by and have an order of huey's delicious beignets.

SnowAngel:

i thought so too, but all rob wanted to do was hang out in his basement and play pool. said he was still hungover from carl's party.

mad maddie:

oh. that sounds fun. i guess.

SnowAngel:

it was boring.

SnowAngel:

what happened at huey's?

mad maddie:

the kitchen guy, sam, found a roach under one of the counters, a really, really big one with long, waving antennas.

SnowAngel:

ewwwwww!

mad maddie:

it gets better. r u ready?

SnowAngel:

no

mad maddie:

he microwaved it.

SnowAngel:

maddie!!! EWWWWW!!!!

mad maddie:

and then phil, the manager, came back and saw what was going on, cuz all the kitchen guys were cheering and making a lot of noise. he fired sam on the spot.

SnowAngel:

and this is why u had such a great time at work? a roach got murdered and the kitchen guy was fired?

mad maddie:

nooooooo, just be patient. remember that cute waiter ur always going on about?

SnowAngel:

*perks up* the shy one with the adorable dimples?

mad maddie:

well, his name's ian. he and i were standing over to the side while all this was going on, and we kept giving each other looks, like, “do u believe this?” and once he leaned close to say something, and his arm brushed mine.

SnowAngel:

ah-HA!

mad maddie:

and after work we sat outside and listened to an awesome playlist he'd made of old-time blues masters, like sonny boy williamson.

SnowAngel:

omg!!! *dance, dance*

mad maddie:

calm down. he knows i like music, that's all.

SnowAngel:

yeah right, that's all. go, mads!!!