Tug (17 page)

“Did either of you bring any books?” They both shake their heads. “Sorry, guys, all I have is a few cop novels that I know your mothers will frown on me for reading to you.”

“So make one up,” Javier suggests.

“Yeah, make one up,” Drew agrees.

Make one up. Hmmm … an age-appropriate story, for boys. “I’m betting princess fairytales are out?” They both make a face and nod. The only things kids have any life experience with is bodily functions, which are always funny. I decide to roll with it. “Okay, then,” I say, and sit on the bed next to Drew.

“This is a story called, ‘Who Made the Giant Pile of Purple Doo-Doo?”

“Purple doo-doo,” they scream in unison, and break out into adorable laughter.

“Yes, it is very serious stuff, now. Prince Javier and Prince Drew have to find out who made the giant pile of purple doo-doo.”

They squeal with laughter again. I laugh, too. Doo-doo stories are funny, but their laughter is hilarious.

“Okay, but I want to be a knight, not a prince,” Javier says.

Drew follows with, “Me, too. I want to be a knight, too.”

“All right, all right. The knights Javier and Drew were decked out in their finest armor, riding their noble steeds through the forest when they came across a giant pile of purple doo-doo.” They laugh again, and Drew snorts, which is a riot, and I continue. “‘Whoa,’ says Sir Javier. ‘That is a giant pile of doo-doo.’ ‘Indeed, a giant purple pile,’ adds Sir Drew. ‘We must find out who made it,’ declares Sir Javier. ‘It is our knightly duty. ’ The knights’ chests puff up with pride.”

They giggle.

“Did you get it, their
duty
?” I ask them.

They stare at me blankly. Clearly, they did not. My humor is obviously lost on their young minds. They need to be about twelve for that one.

“Okay, so the knights go in search of the poop perpetrator. They come across a little mouse, nibbling a piece of cheese. ‘Uh, um,’ Sir Javier coughs. ‘Little mouse, did you make the giant pile of purple doo-doo?’ The little mouse drops his cheese.” The boys erupt with laughter, again.

“What?” I ask seriously.

Javier answers. “A mouse can’t make a big pile of doo-doo.”

The kid’s got a point, and I continue my story.

“Mr. Mouse wiggles his nose. ‘Oh, gee. I wish I could, but I’m too little to make a giant pile of purple doo-doo. ’ Sir Javier nods. ‘Very well,’ says Sir Drew. ‘Carry on, then. ’ And the mouse scurries away.”

“You’re funny, Uncle Tug.” Drew beams up at me and I smile back.

“Next, the noblemen come across a unicorn. ‘Your Graceful Unicorn,’ Sir Drew says. ‘Did you make the giant pile of purple doo-doo?’ The unicorn makes an outraged face. ‘Hmph … hardly. That is an appalling accusation. I make giant piles of rainbow and sparkly doo-doo, not purple. Whoever did it is simply scandalous.” The unicorn turns its head. ‘I see,’ says Sir Javier. ‘Carry on, then. ’ The two knights are completely baffled.”

“It was a squirrel,” yells Drew.

“I bet it was a bear,” Javier guesses.

“You’re both wrong, for next our knights ride up next to an enormous moose. The animal’s face is covered in blueberries. ‘A-ha!’ shouts Sir Drew. ‘Moose, you made the giant pile of purple doo-doo,’ Sir Javier accuses him. ‘Uh-uh, not me,’ declares the moose, shaking its huge antlers. ‘It was you — the evidence is all over your face,’ Sir Drew points out, and the moose hangs its head. ‘All right, you caught me, but these blueberries are very tasty. I couldn’t help myself.’ The knights understand not being able to turn down a scrumptious treat. ‘It is quite all right, Mr. Moose. We understand,’ says Sir Drew.’ The moose smiles. ‘But, by order of the king, you must clean up your doo-doo, and all future doo-doo must me made behind trees where it will not block the road. ’ The moose nods and says, ‘I understand. ’ The knights were happy to have found the poop-perp. The moose was happy not to be in trouble and shared his blueberries with the knights, who later that evening made their own pile of purple doo-doo — in the toilet, of course.”

The boys roar with laughter as I tickle them relentlessly, their merriment the most amazing sound I’ve ever heard. I get off the bed and move to the door. “All right, little knights, time for you to sleep.” I flip the switch as they tell me good night.

Their laughter comes through the door, and I wait and listen.

“Drew?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think if we ate enough blueberries, we could make a giant pile of purple doo-doo?” Javier asks.

“I don’t know, but we should try it.”

They break into a fit of giggles, and I stand at the door with a smile so large it hurts. This. This is what life is truly about.

I settle on the couch, watching sports news while I wait for Maria. The conversation I had with Tori continues to replay in my mind. I come to the conclusion that I’m not the one she has to worry about taking the relationship seriously. I’m already in deep with both Maria and Javier, but Maria and her commitment are fragile. One small thing could force her to put a halt to things between us. If I knew what she kept secret, what is was that could come between us, maybe I could stop it. With that thought, I realize,
I can.
I have endless resources at my fingertips.

My eyes close briefly, and then I hear the doorbell. I open the door. The smile on Maria’s face makes my heart flutter. Although she looks exhausted, she is breathtaking. It’s hard for me to imagine how she came to be so insecure. She’s mine now, and I’ll never allow anything or anyone to make her feel small again.

“
H
ey,” he says as I walk through the door. “The boys are asleep.”

“Thanks for watching him.”

“Yeah, about that. You’re going to need to find a new sitter.”

I know the reason for his request, and this isn’t going to make him happy. “Del was entertaining again?”

His eyes widen in shock. “You know? How can you leave him there?”

“Don’t get on your moral, preaching soapbox, please. Yours is broken. It’s a bit like Pinocchio giving a lecture on telling the truth, and I’m too tired to argue.”

“This isn’t a question of morality. It’s about his safety. Del paid absolutely no attention to him, and he answered the door without even asking who it was.”

Crossing the room, I sigh. I put my purse and keys on the coffee table before turning to face him.

“Okay, I know. I had a new sitter, but the night I stayed with you the first time didn’t make her happy, and she won’t watch him again. I know it’s fucked up, but I really can’t handle a lecture right now. You don’t know what it’s like. I can’t afford a sitter, or daycare. Del is free, so it’s a choice between Del, who occasionally entertains, but has a son the same age for Javier to play with, or my grandfather, who can’t remember he has a grandson some days.”

I didn’t want to make him out to be the jerk in this situation, but he is responsible for my losing the new sitter. He frowns as he strides close to me.

“I’m sorry. I’m not judging, but I’m concerned. There wasn’t another kid when I picked him up.”

“His dad picks him up from school on Fridays, so Del can work weekends.”

“I don’t want Javier going there,” he says sternly.

“I can’t aff —”

“I don’t care. I’ll hire a nanny.”

“No. You. Won’t.”

“Fine, then I’ll pay Veronica extra to keep an eye on Javier until you get home.”

“No. I’ll look into making other arrangements, but I won’t let you pay for it.”

His arm snakes around my waist. One of his hands presses into my back, the other grips my jaw tight. “You’re so stubborn, woman.”

I lift an eyebrow. “I think you like me just the way I am.”

“And ‘just the way you are’ likes to irritate me,” he says, releasing my jaw.

“Ah, a match made in heaven. No more arguing, please. I need a shower, and I have a surprise for you.”

“You do?” I nod with a roguish grin. “A good one?”

“A very good one,” I tease and disappear into the bathroom.

I stand under the steady stream of water, washing the day away. I’ve never been this happy or felt this complete. This amazing guy chose me to spend time with and get to know. He spent the entire evening with Javier. His protectiveness toward Javier, although at first it irritated me, makes me realize how incredible he is. As I do, he wants better for my son.

Fully reenergized, I towel-dry off, and slide my feet into the red heels I wore the night I ran into Tug at the club. He recently mentioned how sexy he thought they were. I hope he meant it, because they’re the only thing I have on as I exit his bathroom.

Tug lies on the bed in his boxers. His mouth falls open when I come through the bathroom door. If anything came from my time at the club, it’s comfort with my nudity, and by the look on Tug’s face, it’s clear he loves his surprise. He moves to the edge of the bed and sits with his feet on the floor.

I touch my index finger to my bottom lip. “Do you like your surprise?”

A playful smirk appears on his lips as he curls his finger at me. “Come here,” he commands softly.

I walk to him and stand in front of him. His warm hands mold to my breasts. He massages them gently while kissing my stomach. Goosebumps dot my flesh, and I shiver. He peers up at me.

“You’re always beautiful, but naked, with wet hair and fuck-me heels, you’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen.”

I blush and place my hands on his shoulders.

There’s a light knock on the door. “Mommy.”

“One second, Javier,” I yell, and kick the heels off. I run to my bag and grab a pair of cotton shorts and a tank. Tug laughs at me scurrying around the room like a maniac.

I open the door and put a hand on Javier’s shoulder, guiding him away from the room. “Come on, honey, let’s get you back to bed.”

He stops and turns around, his big brown eyes fearful. “But I want to sleep with you,” he whines.

I sigh. It’s always been the two of us. He sleeps with me every night, and I’m sure he’s nervous in a strange place with new people. I open my mouth to explain to him that he can’t sleep with me tonight when I hear Tug.

“It’s okay, Maria. Bring him in here.”

Javier’s face lights up, and he sprints past me and leaps onto the bed. Tug lifts him into the middle of the bed. I stand staring at the two guys in my life in complete awe.

“Can’t sleep, huh, buddy?” Javier shakes his head and rubs his sleep eyes. “Will it help if you sleep in here with your mom?” Javier smiles and nods. “Do you want to go run and grab your train?”

“Nope.” Javier shakes his head. “I don’t need it.”

My heart burst. I have to hold my breath to keep from bawling my eyes out. It’s Tug. My little boy, like me, feels secure with him.

I climb up on the bed next to Javier and kiss his head. “Go back to sleep,
mijo
.” He rolls to his side with his back to me. Tug starts to get up. “Please stay,” I whisper.

He smiles and lies on his side with his elbow on the pillow, his head supported by his palm. His eyes stay on me as I stroke Javier’s head until I hear his heavy, sleeping breaths. Tug’s fingers graze my cheek.

“You’re both so beautiful,” he whispers.

I smile shyly and say, “You aren’t disappointed?”

He shakes his head, his expression serious. “Oh, sweet girl, you in those heels will be mine very soon, but this” — his eyes drop to my sleeping baby boy — “is what means the most in life. This is perfection.”

My eyes burn with tears again. It’s nice that tonight they’re happy tears. “You’re a good guy, you know that?”

He averts his eyes. “No, I’m not, but I want to be, for you and for your son.”

“You are,” I say quietly. “Somewhere along the way, something happened to make you think otherwise, but I see it, and I adore you for it.”

He smiles and lays his head on the pillow. Without responding, his eyes close.

I’m falling hard for this amazing and complicated man who has so much love to give. Knowing I will inevitably cause him pain terrifies me. I won’t want to, and I won’t mean to, but I will. I should take Javier now and run, save Tug from me, but I’m selfish. I can’t. He makes me feel good, and it’s been so long since I’ve felt anything. Now that I’ve had a taste, I greedily want more. There’s a tiny glimmer of hope deep inside me that makes me believe there’s a chance for us, and until it’s completely extinguished, I refuse to give up.