Turn On A Dime - Kade's Turn (19 page)

“Are you going to tell me what happened?” he asked.

She looked at him in surprise. “You don’t know?”

Did he have an idea of what Blane had done? Yes. Did he want her to spell it out so she would be forced to deal with it? Yes.

She set aside the coffee. “I’m going to need something stronger.”

Kade watched the shape of her body through the thin cotton of his shirt as she rose from the bed and walked into the kitchen. Her legs weren’t long, but had curves in all the right places. He followed her, leaning against the counter as she began searching through his cabinets.

He knew what she was looking for, but decided to wait it out. She seemed completely oblivious to the way the shirt rose up her thighs when she reached, or how exposed she was when she bent to open the lower cabinets. Kade caught flashes of the black panties and he abruptly set his mug down before the death grip he had on it broke the ceramic.

Finally, she gave up and turned toward him. “Where’s your liquor?”

Kade dragged his gaze up from her legs to her hips and breasts, finally reaching her face. Holding on to his control felt as though he were trying to keep from falling over a cliff. He took two steps, right up into her space, and heard her breath catch as she looked up at him.

“It’s where it should be,” he replied, reaching behind her to open the freezer door. He took out a bottle of vodka, pulled the stopper, and set it on the counter. “Straight?”

“Please.”

Grabbing a couple of shot glasses, Kade filled each, then handed one to Kathleen. “Cheers,” he said, clinking his glass against hers.

The both tossed back the liquor and she didn’t even flinch, just sucked in another breath, set the glass back on the counter, and tapped it.

Kade filled their glasses again as Kathleen rounded the bar and climbed onto one of the barstools. It was only after they’d both downed the second shot that she spoke.

“I walked in on Blane and…Kandi.”

Anger flooded through him, and his voice was tight when he asked, “Doing what?” He wanted her to say it out loud, so it was good and real. Blane didn’t deserve her, would only lie to her and hurt her, and she’d do well to remember it.

But she wouldn’t answer, just tapped her glass for another refill. Kade obliged and they drank in silence.

He watched her, but she didn’t cry, thank God. Kade could handle a lot of shit, but crying women wasn’t one of them. She seemed lost in thought, her eyes gazing off into the distance, but seeing nothing.

“You all right?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” she said.

Yeah, Kade had been
fine
once, too. It sucked.

Kade emptied the bottle into their glasses, then got another from the freezer. The vodka was hitting his veins now, which was why he didn’t see anything wrong with giving in to the urge to be closer to her. He slid onto the stool, his eyes drawn to the length of her bare thigh alongside his denim-clad one.

“People leave, you know?” she said. “They desert you, forget about you. People hurt you, betray you, don’t love you anymore. They get hurt. They die. I don’t know why I thought it might be different with…”

But she didn’t finish, just reached for the fresh bottle and gave them both refills. A little spilled on the counter.

“Well, aren’t you the cynic,” Kade said, reeling. Every word she’d said was true, and more than enough reason to not allow anyone inside. To hear it spelled out so plainly, especially by someone like her, was a shock. He’d thought darkness hadn’t touched her soul. He’d thought wrong.

“When has anyone you’ve been close to not left?” she asked.

Kade took a moment before he answered. “I don’t stick around long enough to give them the chance.” The one time he had stuck around, he’d had to watch his brother leave for a war from which he might not have returned.

“Why is that?” she asked, jerking his thoughts back to the present.

Shrugging, Kade tossed back the vodka. “I’d rather be the one leaving than the one who’s left behind.”

“Why am I here?” she asked, changing the subject. “Why not just take me home?”

The thought hadn’t even occurred to Kade, not that he could tell her that. The burning need to have her near, keep her safe, had overridden any other logical thought. He scrambled to come up with a believable answer.

“You’ve nearly gotten yourself killed several times in the last few days,” he said. “It’s easier to keep you safe here.” And keep himself sane.

She snorted. “What do you care? Blane and I are through, so no one’s making you play bodyguard anymore. You can’t stand me as it is—you should be glad to be rid of me. I’m just the white-trash gold digger, remember?”

Ouch. Her words twisted like knives. “I never said that.”

“Which part?”

Their eyes caught and Kade couldn’t look away. The hurt and despair written on her face made him want to beg for forgiveness. He’d been wrong. He’d hurt her, just as Blane had, and he was so fucking sorry. But the words wouldn’t come, and deep down he knew he could never say them. He’d finish this case, keep her safe even if Blane was through with her, and then he’d get the hell out of town and as far away from her as possible. She made him feel things, want things, and it was too much.

“You need some food in you,” he said, desperately searching for safe ground. “When was the last time you ate?”

But she just shrugged and reached for the bottle of vodka.

“Nope,” Kade said, snatching it from her. “Not until you eat.”

“But I’m not hungry!”

Was that a whine?

Kade went to his cabinets and pulled out a box of moon pies. That sounded awesome right now. He dumped a pile of them on the counter in front of her.

“Moon Pie?” she asked, gingerly picking up a package as though it was going to bite her. “Where did you get these?”

“I have my sources.” Kade ripped open a package and took a bite. Best junk food ever. He caught Kathleen staring at his mouth with enough interest to make his jeans suddenly uncomfortable.

“Try it,” Kade said. “You can’t have that much booze on an empty stomach or you’re going to be puking, and I’m not holding your hair for you.” Another lie. He totally would.

She still hesitated, eyeing the pie he held.

“Here, just try,” Kade said, then an impulse struck him. Before he’d even thought it through, he’d dipped his index finger into the marshmallow fluff, scooped out some, and held it out to her.

Kathleen glanced up at him in surprise. Kade held his breath, wondering what in the hell he was doing. He hoped she’d take the bait, and dreaded what it would do to him if she did.

She leaned forward and wrapped her perfect pink lips around his finger.

Kade sucked in a breath, the hot slide of her tongue brought fantasies to mind immediately. She was very thorough, and when she lightly sucked, he had to swallow down a groan. He gripped the counter, grounding himself so he wouldn’t move, wouldn’t cross over to her and do something he couldn’t take back.

Kathleen leaned back and his finger slid from her mouth. She raised an eyebrow, then took a bite of the Moon Pie. Kade scrambled to think of what to say, and ended up saying the first thing that came to mind.

“If I’d known you’d do that to anything covered in marshmallow, I would have put it in a different location.”

She laughed, not realizing of course that he was dead serious. Finishing the pie, she licked the chocolate from her fingers. Kade couldn’t look away, the sight mesmerizing him.

“Are you going to take me home now?” she asked.

Kade tore his gaze from her mouth to look her in the eye. “Wasn’t planning on it.”

“I need to go home.”

That was so not happening. He needed her here, where he could be sure she was safe. Not that he could tell her that. But logistics worked in his favor. “And then what? In case you haven’t noticed, you have no car. No car means no transportation.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them. A not-uncommon occurrence. Kathleen looked as though he’d hit her. Her face was white and her mouth open in a little O. Then her blue eyes filled with tears that spilled over and down her cheeks.

“Dammit,” Kade cursed himself, hurrying around the bar. He took her in his arms, an instinctive gesture, and at first he thought she might push him away. But she didn’t. She just leaned into him and cried like her cat had just died.

Kade tucked her head under his chin and held her, mindlessly running his hand over her hair and murmuring, “Shh. I’m sorry, princess. Don’t cry. Please,” over and over.

Her sobs tore through him like a knife, and if slicing his gut open would have made her stop crying, Kade would have wielded the blade himself.

“Please, Kathleen,” he begged. “Please don’t cry.” He’d do anything, just so she’d stop crying as though her heart were breaking, which maybe it was. The thought made him want to slam his fist into Blane’s face.

Finally, she was all cried out. The tears stopped and she lifted her head. Her eyes were swollen and her nose was red, but Kade saw none of this. All he saw was the most beautiful creature he’d ever laid eyes on, staring up at him with heartbreak in her eyes.

“There, that’s better,” he said, brushing away the tracks of her tears from her cheeks. “I’m sorry Blane’s such a bastard. And I’m not any better. But you’re not alone, okay?”

“But I am,” she whispered. The sadness in her voice had Kade tightening his grip on her as he gazed into her eyes, purity and innocence shining through her tears.

“You have me,” he vowed.

Kade wasn’t worth much, but he was loyal. He never offered anything to anyone, so the fact that he’d just impulsively offered this woman a piece of his soul would have been earth-shattering to him, if he’d paused to dwell on it. So he didn’t.

She was so close, her eyes full of trust and gratitude, as though he were her hero. The idea was absurd, but it sure did feel good for her to look at him like that.

Kade pressed his lips to her forehead in a gentle kiss, then smiled at her. He’d gotten her to stop crying, made her feel a bit better. He, Kade Dennon, had done that. No one else.

She gave him a tremulous smile back, sniffling. The touch of her skin against his lips was like silk and Kade didn’t think before pressing another kiss to her cheeks, first one side, then the other, her skin like warm velvet. His hands cupped her jaw, his fingers buried in the long strands of hair at the nape of her neck. His eyes settled on her lips again, and without thinking, he kissed her.

It was an impulse, one born of the need to comfort her, to see that smile last just a bit longer. He should have known better. Everything he touched ended up dark and twisted. Corrupt. This was no different. He could tell the moment their lips touched that he’d been lying to himself.

Kade lifted his head and their eyes locked. She looked surprised, shocked even, her eyes wide as she stared at him.

Would she be angry? Appalled that he’d kissed her? He didn’t want to see her face fill with disgust and contempt, hear her tell him how sick and twisted he was to kiss his brother’s girlfriend.

But she said nothing.

Her gaze dropped to his mouth. He didn’t move away. He couldn’t. Kade barely breathed as she tentatively reached up, her fingers sliding through his hair, pushing it back off his forehead.

Kathleen’s touch felt like sweet acceptance and it broke what little restraint he had.

He kissed her again, only this time, it wasn’t to comfort her and it wasn’t the perfunctory prelude it had always been with other women. It was different.
She
was different. He wanted to explore her, know everything about her taste and touch. Hear her little sighs and feel the warmth of her breath.

“Kiss me back, princess,” he murmured, needing to feel her respond to him. To his awed amazement, she did.

Kade could have stood there and kissed Kathleen for hours. She’d settled her arms on his shoulders, her hands sliding to the back of his neck and threading through his hair. Her nails lightly scraped his scalp, a uniquely feminine touch that sent a shiver down his spine.

She tasted sweet, like marshmallow and chocolate, and Kade took his time, memorizing the contours of her lips and the timid slide of her tongue against his. She relaxed against him, her body pressed into his from chest to knee. The soft fullness of her breasts made his hands itch to touch.

The darkness inside him was already planning, calculating. All she wore was his shirt and a tiny pair of panties. It wouldn’t take but a moment to slide his hands underneath the fabric and between her legs. As much as he wanted her, he wouldn’t even bother taking her into the bedroom. The stool at her back was about the right height, or hell, he’d just press her against the fucking wall. She’d be gasping his name while he buried himself inside her wet heat.

And then what?

Kade wanted to ignore the question whispering through his mind. He wanted to do what his body was urging him to do and screw the rest. He’d never worried or cared about what happened
after
he fucked someone, other than making sure he didn’t take their number because there was no sense in them entertaining the possibility that he might call. He never did.

But Kathleen didn’t fit into that equation. There were a lot of consequences if they had sex, not the least of which was that Blane would kick his ass. And as for Kathleen…

Even now he could taste the vodka on her tongue. Her tears were barely dry from what Blane had put her through tonight. And if they did this, tomorrow morning she’d see it as nothing more than a drunken one-night-stand rebound that she would no doubt deeply regret. She might even hate him for taking advantage of the situation, and of her.

The thought was a cold dose of reality.

Before, Kade had wanted her antipathy and her hatred. Now, the thought of her seeing him that way, feeling like that, cut him like a knife. He didn’t want that any longer. A moment ago, she’d looked at him like he was her hero. Kade wanted to see that look in her eyes more than he wanted to have sex with her.

He raised his head, breaking their kiss. Her breath was coming in little pants that made him want to see what other noises he could get her to make, but he resisted the urge.