Tutus & Cowboy Boots (Part 2) (16 page)

“Thank God! What in tarnation took you so
long?” Gran asks when the vet arrives.

“Sorry, Mae Ellen,” he says but stops his
next sentence as he approaches Daisy. After a quick examination,
the vet confirms Gran’s suspicions. Daisy has suffered internal
injuries from delivery and the bleeding has become severe. My heart
begins to break as he starts his next sentence. “Mae Ellen, I hate
to say it, but she’s going to have to be put down.” He makes it
sound like he’s making a statement about the freaking weather.

No!
My heart stops.
Oh God, not my poor
Daisy!
I start to shake my head as I look
at Paisley and hug her with all my might. That’s when every emotion
I’ve been bottling up inside comes crashing down like a tidal wave
on my body. My mind goes to Dad. How he was there, loved me, made
me feel that I mattered, and then walked out. The walking out is
what caused my world to break into a million pieces. Holding
Paisley, I vow not to let her world fall to pieces. I tell her that
everything is okay and let the tears fall as Daisy wails in pain
again. I want Paisley to know that no matter what, she won’t be
alone.

“Paisley, it’s okay. I’m here. I’ll always
be here. No matter what, I’m here. I promise on the stars,” I say
through the tears. She turns her head into me and I take a deep
breath. She knows and I promise I will not let her down. I will not
be like my dad. I will not leave her.

Gran comes over and stands in front of me.
“Cade, you should probably go up to the house,” Gran says
gently.

I shake my head no. “I can’t leave her,
Gran. She needs me.”

“She understands,
but
you
don’t need
to witness this,” she says as she drops her hand onto my
shoulder.

I give Daisy one last look and tell her I
love her. Then I walk back to Paisley. “I’ll be back in just a
little while. You’ll be okay,” I tell her before I place a light
kiss between her ears. Gran takes me under her shoulder and walks
me to the house. Barrick stays with Daisy and the vet.

Gran stops as we walk into the house.
“Cadence, I’m proud of you.”

“Why?” I ask.

“You took it upon yourself to watch over
those two. I know living here hasn’t been your cup of tea, but I
appreciate how you’ve grown since you first arrived.”

“I don’t know what it is Gran, but after I
watched her being born, I couldn’t stay away. I mean, I don’t want
to live on a farm or anything but I get it and I do care,” Gran
laughs and I let out a small smile.

“Come on, Cadence. Let’s get you some
breakfast,” she says, changing the subject.

Barrick

When I got out of the truck and heard Daisy
I knew it wasn’t going to end well, but when I saw the heartbroken
look on Cadence’s face all I wanted to do was scoop her into my
arms and hold her while she let it all out. Her reaction wasn’t
just about the cow. I’m sure some of it had to do with her dad. I
just wish she’d open up to me about everything. I love her and I
want her to know that if she opens up to me, I won’t leave her like
her dad did.

Once Cadence and Ms. Mae are in the house,
the vet leaves and I put her down. It’s not something I’ve done on
my own before but I know how to do it and I know Cadence needs Ms.
Mae more than I do. Once Daisy has passed, I take the tractor and
load her into the trailer to be processed before taking her to the
butcher. I know it sounds harsh, but it is what it is. That’s how
life on a farm works. It’s not always hunky dory, and sometimes you
have to put your feelings for the animal aside. If not, we’d never
be able to do our jobs. Then again, I love these animals so much, I
could never watch them suffer.

It’s a little after lunch when I get back to
the farm. I unhitch the trailer then walk to the house to let Ms.
Mae know everything is done. When I don’t see Cadence, I assume she
went to school until I see her vehicle as I walk down to the
barn.

As I begin to slide the barn door open, I
hear her soft, sweet voice so I pause and listen for a moment.
She’s talking to Paisley. I don’t want to startle her so I clear my
throat before I speak. “Cadence?” I call as I open the door all the
way.

“Yeah?” I hear her answer from Paisley’s
stall.

I get to the stall and look inside. My.
Heart. Breaks. She’s sitting there in her dance clothes and
galoshes, covered in hay with Paisley’s head in her hands. She’s
talking to her like she’s a toddler.

“Paisley, it’s okay. Mommy’s gone to heaven,
but you’ll see her again one day. Until then, I’m going to be here.
I told you I’d never leave you. Gran wouldn’t let me stay with
you.” She glances up at me and gives a small smile while trying to
hide her tears.

“Sorry, I just didn’t want to sneak in on
you. Y’all looked like y’all were in a pretty deep conversation.
How is she?” I say, looking to the calf and taking a step
forward.

“She’s okay. I told her everything would be
fine,” she says with a slight smile as she wipes her tears
away.

Knowing I might kick myself in the ass for
asking this, I do it anyway. “Cade, are you okay?” I question, and
just like that her demeanor changes. It’s like Dr. Jekyll and Ms.
Hyde. She jumps up and tries to walk past me. “Cadence, are you
okay? Please talk to me,” I plead as I take my hands and place them
on her shoulders, forcing her to look me in the eyes.

“I’m fine,” she says, but
it’s obvious she’s not. “Look, I don’t know why I’m out here. I
just didn’t want her to be alone,” she says as the old Cadence
comes out.
Shit!

I look around and know that that calf isn’t
alone. Another heifer will take her under her udder, so to speak,
and she will be a happy cow. “She’s not. There’s an entire herd out
there,” I say, pointing toward the pasture. “She’ll be a happy cow
before you know it,” I add, confidently.

“Oh sure, just send her off into a greener
pasture and everything will be alright,” she yells as she pushes
her way past me.

Quickly, I turn around and grab her
shoulder. “What’s going on, Cadence?”

“Nothing. You don’t get it.” She grits her
teeth as tears begin to stream down her face.

“What don’t I get?” I say, trying to hold
onto her so she can’t run away this time.

“Everything! You have your perfect life and
your perfect family! You don’t have a care in the world. No one
dropped you off in hicktown and told you to deal with it. You…
Gran… Mom… all told me to embrace being on the farm. How good it
would be for me. So I did. I did what you all said and for what? So
I could be left again? So that I could see Paisley have to figure
it out on her own like I did? Did you know I have an offer to go to
school in Boston and a chance to dance with a company? That I
wasn’t going to take it because I wanted to be close to the farm
and my family? But now, why should I stay? This place makes me
crazy and I hate milking cows and I hate the smell of manure and I
just hate it all.”

I stand there dumbfounded for a moment
before I speak. “Why should you stay? Do you really mean that?
Cadence, I love you. I want to make you happy. I want you to know
you can trust me and I’ll never leave you but if you really want to
go to Boston, I won’t stand in your way.” Tears are streaming down
her face as I let go of her and watch her walk away.

Cadence

I walk into the house and as the door slams
behind me, the pictures on the wall shake from the impact.

“Cadence? Are you okay?” Gran asks.

“Uhhhhhh! I’m. Just. FINE,” I say as I storm
to my room, but then I hear Gran call after me.

“Your dad called a few
minutes ago.”
Unfuckingbelivable! I’m not
calling his ass. Not today. I will not forgive or forget
today.
I grab my iPod and walk out back.
Turning on my music, I take my whirlwind of emotions and mix them
with the beat of the music. The sun beats down and makes the April
air feel like an oven. Sweat pours from my body, but I don’t care.
I just dance until I can’t dance anymore.

Barrick

I am crushed by her words. I know Dad said
to make my future decisions for me but I knew the night I saw the
shooting star that my life would revolve around Cadence. She had my
heart and there was no way I was going to leave her behind. But
now, I’m afraid she’s decided to leave me before I could leave her.
I know I just need to give her time to calm down and pray that she
doesn’t go to Boston.

When I finish up in the barn, I find her
dancing on the back porch. Her moves are raw and full of emotion.
She looks amazing in her element and I can picture her being a lead
in a dance company. As much as I want us to be together, I was
honest when I said I wouldn’t stand in her way.

I watch her until she sits in exhaustion on
the back steps. Saying a quick prayer and taking a deep breath, I
make my way over to her. “May I sit?” She gives me a death stare
but scoots over to make room for me on the step.

“Cadence, I need to tell you something. The
night Ms. Mae ratted me out, my dad sat me down for a talk. It
wasn’t about that, but it was about me getting a good education. He
told me about your offer in Boston. He said you and I both had big
decisions to make. He wanted me to decide if I wanted to stay here
or go to a four-year college and told me to make the decision for
me. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, so the night we sat in my
truck I said a prayer and just listened for an answer. When I
opened my eyes, I saw a shooting star and I thought that was God’s
way of telling me I had everything I needed right there with you by
my side.” Tears form in her eyes but she doesn’t say anything so I
continue. “When I said I love you, Cadence Lewis, I meant it. And
my love means I will always be there for you when you need me. It
also means I will do anything to support your dreams and if that
means letting you go, I will.” I look into her eyes and lean in for
a kiss. I kiss her with my whole heart and soul. When we pull
apart, she looks stunned. When she still doesn’t say anything, I
slowly stand and walk away.

Chapter 24

Cadence

What the hell just
happened?
I graze my lips with my fingers.
I can still feel the tingle from the touch, and tears pour down my
face knowing that I’ve just pushed away the one person who was
trying to help me the most.

As I wipe the tears away, I hit play and
drown my emotions into my movements once again. As I turn, I’m
startled to see Gran standing in front of me with her hands on her
hips.

I quickly hit pause, remove my ear buds, and
get ready for an earful.

“What in the hell was that shit?” she says,
pointing at me.

“Nothing.”

“I’ll be damned, if you are going to let
that boy go,” she yells at me.

“I don’t know, Gran. I got the Boston offer.
His dad wants him to go to school…”

“I thought you just told your mother you
weren’t going.”

“Well, maybe I changed my mind,” I say,
stubbornly.

“Just when I thought you were getting it,
you go do something like this,” she says, waving her hand in the
air while turning around. “Oh, it’s time for you to go to the
studio.”

I pause and yell back at her. “What’s that
supposed to mean?”

“You figure it out
yourself. You’re a smart girl,” she says leaving me alone in the
sunshine.
Figure it out for myself. Just
great. Where are those parents that meddle in their kids’
lives?

Glancing at the barn, I see that Barrick is
still here. I should go and apologize, but I don’t have time. Dance
calls. As I hurry to my vehicle, I notice Barrick glance over his
shoulder at me as he puts hay in the field. My heart hurts, but I
decide to put a bandage over it like I always do.

It only takes Jade all of two seconds to
realize something’s going on when I walk in the studio.

“Cade. Are you okay? You weren’t in school
and you never answered my texts,” she says.

“Just a long day on the farm,” I say as I
slowly make my way to the break room.

Jade begins to speak, but Ms. Lyndsay walks
in the break room and comes to a halt when she sees me.

“Cadence, are you sick?” she questions.

“No, ma’am. Long day. One of the cows died,
and Barrick and I got into it,” I say, flatly. Jade looks at me as
if she doesn’t believe me.

“Well, I hate to hear that, but you’ve got
to focus. Take those emotions out on the dance floor, but if you
need to talk, I’m here.”

“Ugh! Why do people always say that shit?” I
say with an enormous amount of attitude.

“That’s it! You will not use that tone or
language in this studio. Everyone out, now!” she yells.

I cross my arms and look at her. “What? I
said one bad word, and had a little attitude. My life sucks today.
So what?”

“So what? Cadence, I will not tolerate this
behavior. Everyone has battles they deal with, but you have to
learn to deal with them properly. Come have a seat,” she says as
she points to a black box covered in pink fur. After closing the
door, she sits beside me and music begins to play in the back room.
“Life doesn’t go as we plan, but we have to make the most of it.
Tell me what’s really going on.”

I don’t want to talk. I want to keep it to
myself. I shake my head no as the tears pour. “It’s my dad… and…
really just everything,” I cry as she takes me in her arms and
holds me as I sob. “First my dad left and now he just sent me a
great present with a note telling me he wants back in. Then I got
the offer to Boston and decided not to go, but after everything
with Barrick today, I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I was okay
with everything until Daisy died today.”