Twins times two! (13 page)

Ross Gifford. So much so that even now she shied away from labeling the depth of her need.

"I'm going to my room now," she stated softly.

Then, before she lost what shreds of pride she still gripped and begged him to come with her, she ran upstairs and shut herself inside her bedroom.

Alone.

Ross waited unttl he'd heard her door snap closed before allowing the breath he'd been holding to ease from his lungs.

She only had to touch him and he was on fire.

Ross raked his fingers through his hair and slowly made his way to the kitchen. Once there, he took a cold container of bottled water from the inner doorway and placed it against his forehead.

But even the icy condensation against his skin couldn't make him forget the velvety texture of Cara's flesh against his, the silken heat of her mouth.

Dear sweet heaven, was he so out of control of his own urges that he would force himself on a woman who had insisted on a platonic relationship? Had he so quickly forgotten that she wouldn't have touched him at all if it hadn't been for the media watching them from afar? Cara had merely wanted to establish their "compatibility"

for the reporters and he had held on to her as if they were...

Married?

Air. He needed some air.

Slamming the bottle down on the counter, Ross made his way onto the rear deck. But even the cool kiss of the evening breeze couldn't erase the scent of Cara's perfume from his mind, the delicious touch of her fingers at his back.

What was it about this woman? What part of her personality had the ability to completely swamp his common sense? Time and time again, he'd reiterated to himself that theirs was to be a business-like arrangement. She would help him with the children and the household responsibilities, and he would...

He would what? What was he contributing to the bargain? What benefits was Cara gaining from the relationship? The security of her role as the children's mother, surely, but what more was he willing to offer her?

Willing? Why had he used that particular word?

Shame gripped at his stomach.

Because he didn't know how much he could invest in the arrangement. Cara was more than welcome to his money, his home and every other financial enticement he could offer—but she'd already made it clear that she wasn't overly inter-

156 Twins Times Two!

ested in such things. So that left Ross with what he was willing to give her emotionally.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he feared that he couldn't offer her enough. Friendship, yes. A certain fondness, yes. Passion, definitely. But anything more than that...

No.

As much as he might want it to be otherwise, he didn't have anything more than that left to give.

Chapter Ten

After their "intimate wedding night," Cara couldn't wait to retrieve the children. She wanted to hug Heidi and Zoe close and to revel in the sound of their laughter. She wanted to reassure herself that they had enjoyed their evening with Polly. Then she wanted to get to know Becca and Brianne.

Cara took a deep breath, realizing that only a few months ago she had been a single woman intent on the growing demands of the Mom Squad. She'd allowed little else to occupy her time or her thoughts. And now...

Now she was Ross Gifford's wife and the mother of four.

How did it all happen so quickly?

Shaking her head, Cara refused to think about her sudden marriage. She'd already spent a sleep-

less night worrying and fretting about the whole affair. It was time she shifted her attention to the children. She'd married to provide a better life for all of the girls, and it was time she concentrated solely on them.

But even after reminding herself of that fact, Cara had a hard time convincing herself her motives were entirely selfless. Where only the day before she had been looking forward to the moment when the two sets of twins were reunited, in order to see how the girls would react, now Cara longed to have them nearby to help break the tension that was growing between Ross and her.

Nevertheless, as she handed Ross the keys to the Mom Squad van and slid into the passenger seat, she couldn't help feeling a quiver of unease.

She had no idea what was going to happen in the next few hours. Although she had tried to prepare Heidi and Zoe for this moment by telling them that Ross had a pair of twins "just like them" and had shown them pictures of Becca and Brianne, she didn't think they'd quite understood. Instead they'd pointed to the pictures time and time again claiming the images as their own.

"This is going to be so confusing for them," Cara whispered, raking her fingers through her hair. Then she paused when she caught Ross looking at her. In that instant she thought she saw a hot

glow of awareness ignite in his dark eyes. But before she could say anything, he had shifted his gaze and she was left to wonder if the desire she'd seen had merely been a reflection of her own.

"Both Polly and Mrs. Graves have been talking to them about the meeting ahead."

"I know, but it might have been better if..."

"If you were the one to do it?"

"Well...yes."

"You're not the only one having such doubts, Cara. But sometimes it's better to get the truth from a source other than our parents."

She grimaced. "I was hoping the girls would reach puberty before they stopped believing what I tell them. It seems that day will come much sooner than I'd expected."

"Children are born cynical these days."

Cara had to bite her tongue to keep from retorting, "Not mine."

Ross expertly maneuvered the Lexus out of the garage. "I suppose I'll be buying a minivan," he said.

"Oh, really? Why?"

He cast her a quick glance "We won't all fit in the sedan."

Too late, Cara realized that they were now a family of six— six! So why did she still think of herself as the mother of two? Why couldn't she

seem to make her brain come to terms with the fact that she had married this man for better or worse and accepted the responsibility of becoming the mother to his children?

At least until he tired of her like Elliot had done.

Resolutely she pushed that thought aside. Ross wasn't Elliot. Just because her former husband had been unfaithful didn't mean that Ross was likely to do the same.

So why wasn't she totally convinced? Why couldn't she come to terms with the fact that she had committed to making this relationship work?

Probably because it didn't feel like a relationship. It didn't even seem real. Only a few days had passed, and her world had been shaken to its very core. She was only now beginning to come to terms with the fact that she had gone to extreme lengths to protect her position in her children's lives.

And she'd become an instant mother to another set of twins in the process.

What have I done?

"Smile and wave."

"What?"

She'd been so deep in her thoughts, she barely heard Ross's comment.

"Smile and wave. We're about to reach the gates and our gauntlet of media personnel."

She'd forgotten about them—although, how she'd managed to forget she wasn't sure.

"Pretend you're the queen," Ross advised, already pasting a wide smile on his face.

Even though Cara knew his smile was false, the effect on Ross's features was devastating. For the first time since she'd known him, his features lost their somber cast, and the planes and angles softened.

So this was what he must have looked like before Nancy died.

And he could look this way again if he abandoned his grief.

Cara didn't know why, but the thought brought a measure of peace to her battered spirit, and she felt suddenly lighthearted.

"I'll do one better than the queen," she said as they came to the last bend before the gatehouse.

Ross had already pushed the automatic opener. With the security guards holding the reporters back, it was evident that he intended to rush through.

"Slow down just a little."

1 'Are you nuts?'' Ross asked, giving her a sideways glance.

"No. Slow down, but don't stop." She shivered. "I'm willing to yank their chains a bit, but I don't want the tables reversed."

As Ross tapped on the brakes, she lowered her window and leaned her head out, offering her best Princess Grace wave.

"Sweeties, you must be hot and famished waiting out here. Take it from me, we're happy," she called as Ross took the corner. Turning around, she beamed back at the group, calling, "Blissfully, blissfully happy!"

She was laughing as she rolled the window up and settled into her seat again.

Ross's lips twitched, then lifted into a wry grimace. "You're laying things on a bit thick, don't you think?"

"Not at all. Let them believe what they like. Heaven only knows they'll print what they like."

"True enough." Ross glanced into the mirror and swore. "Unfortunately, your little performance has been like scattering kibble to the hounds."

"What do you mean?"

"A few of them are giving chase."

She looked behind her, then hurriedly pinned a smile on her face. "I can't believe this is happen-ing.

1 'I think they sense that something is up. Maybe they've guessed that we're heading for the children."

"And there's nothing they would like to film more than a shot of the sisters being reunited." She

groaned, sinking down in her seat as far as her safety belt would allow.

Ross patted her knee. "Relax. They probably would have followed us anyway. Hold on."

In a heartbeat Ross made a right turn and another left. Soon he was driving with the finesse of a London cabby—quick turns, doubling back, driving down back alleys and surging onto the Interstate.

"It's working," Cara said in delight as she watched the stream of vehicles beginning to lessen.

"What time are we supposed to be at the park?"

"Polly is bringing Heidi and Zoe to the park at noon, and Melba is bringing Becca and Brianne at quarter past."

A glance at the clock assured Cara that they were well ahead of schedule, despite their mad dash through the greater Salt Lake area.

Finally, after exiting the freeway, then circling around to catch the next on-ramp, Ross offered a triumphant cry. "That's the last of them."

The Mom Squad van wove in and out of cars, and Cara found herself studying his hands. He had long, slender fingers. Artist's fingers. Surgeon's fingers. A shiver of anticipation skittered up her spine. What would it be like to be caressed by those fingers? How long would she have to wait?

Cara all but gasped at the thought. What had

come over her? When had she begun to think of making love to this man as a matter of course? Something that wouldn't happen in a matter of months or years but...

Days?

She took a deep breath to clear her head. Think of the children... the children...

"Nervous?" Ross asked.

Cara focused on the way her fingers were twisting the hem of her shirt in her lap and she immediately laced her fingers together. "I don't know how the girls are going to react. It will be shocking for them at the very least. I can't even imagine what it would be like to see someone who looked exactly like me."

1 'The psychologist told us to treat things as low-key as possible, then let the children explore the situation as they would any other curiosity. Dr. Egstrom will be there to help smooth things over."

She gripped her hands together until her knuckles turned white. Could she help it if she was a nervous person? A worrier? Would she forever be on her guard in case Ross read her thoughts? Or would she finally trust him enough to reveal her true feelings?

"It sounds so easy in theory, but in fact..."

Ross reached over to take her hands, shaking them until she loosened her grip. "We'll take

things as they come. And any problems the girls might encounter can't be any worse than the alternative. It would be far more hurtful to never let them know they were twins."

Cara knew Ross was right, but that didn't lessen her nervousness. "Maybe we were hasty in marrying so soon. Maybe we should have introduced them to one another a little at a time?"

"But won't the girls feel more secure being together as they get acquainted? Wouldn't it be worse to be introduced to your twin, then just when your curiosity is at its highest, have her taken away time and time again?''

"I suppose." She bit her lip, suddenly wishing that the introductions had already taken place. She was so anxious that things go well.

Cara's heart gave a leap of joy when Ross pulled to a stop in front of the park and she saw that Heidi and Zoe were already playing near the swings. She'd been away from them for less than a day, yet she hadn't realized how much she could miss them in even that short amount of time.

"Cara!"

"Mommy!"

The twins raced toward her, their arms outstretched, their faces alight with expectation.

Cara jumped from the car before it could completely stop. "Hello, hello!"

Both of the children were speaking at once, filling her in on everything that had happened in her absence. The meaning of their words wasn't always entirely clear, but Cara didn't mind. Wrapping her arms around them, she tried to hug them close, but they quickly squirmed away and tugged her in the direction of the swings.

"Push us!" Zoe shouted.

"We needs t'get on the swing right now," Heidi informed her good-naturedly.

"Wait a minute, you need to say hello to Ross."

The twins glanced at Ross as he strode toward them. He made an impressive sight in his carefully tailored suit. Impressive and formidable.

But instead of showing their usual exuberance, the children went behind Cara, shielding themselves with her body.

"Come on, you don't need to hide. Ross is—" she halted, then said, "—we're going to live with Ross from now on. He's going to help me take care of you. He's going to be your new daddy."

The statement didn't seem to reassure them. If anything it made matters worse. They huddled even closer, Zoe trying to climb up her leg, crying, holding her arms out to be held.