Two Blue Lines (Crossing The Line #1) (16 page)

I picked up the largest chunk of wood and brushed off the wet muck. Remembered. God, how our lives had been simpler that summer three years ago. No complications, no babies, no frustrating, messy, emotional soup. I glanced over as a young couple strolled by, smiling into each other’s eyes like the rest of the world didn’t exist. I turned away. “I think we need to clean this up and redo her cross.”

I glanced at him. He nodded. “Okay.”

We made a run to Lowe’s in Lake Jackson and got some fresh, weather-treated wood then went back to my place to make Lettie’s marker. Just like my dad had done last time, we used the wood burner to etch our final tribute into the wood.

Once it was ready, we drove back to the beach and, in silence, we bagged up as much of the trash as we could, then hammered her new cross into the ground.

It finally felt like I had done something right.

We stood, again, and stared down at our work.

“Looks good,” Jonah said.

I nodded.

“So what’s up with you?” He glanced my way.

“Whatdya mean?”

He blinked and studied me for a minute as the waves gently rippled behind us. Rhythmically; the same lullaby that had soothed me countless times over the years. “I mean, what’s up with you?” He cocked his head. He had my number. We’d been best friends for too long to hide anything from him.

“Mel broke up with me.”

He simply stared at me, disbelief painted all over his face. “What?”

I nodded.

“You’re shittin’ me.”

“Nope.”

His brows thundered down. “Why?”

I gazed out at the water, ignoring the strewn seaweed that looked like hair on the beach. Ignored all the ugliness. “I brought up adoption again. She showed me the door.”

“Seriously?”

“Pretty much. Said she could do it on her own and I could stay or go. So I went.”

His mouth fell open. “What the hell, man? What happened?”

My heart stuttered with guilt at the accusatory expression on his face. “What’re you talking about? I just told you.”

He paced a few steps away then spun back, his face frustrated. “Man, you sure aren’t acting like the best friend I know. This is
Melissa
we’re talking about. You love her. How could you just up and leave her when she’s pregnant, dude? That’s cold.”

I blinked as pain lanced me. “Didn’t you hear me? She dumped me!”

“Uh, you just said she gave you a choice and you made it . . . sounds like you did the dumping.” The silence settled between us for a moment as I realized the truth of his words. “Does a baby scare you that bad?”

YES!
I wanted to scream and flail. Yes, yes, yes, yes. But I didn’t. I glanced down. “No.”

Suddenly, he was right up in my face. “You are a damn liar, Reed Young.”

I met his heated gaze, shocked by his vehemence. Since when did he care so much about Mel? About the baby? I opened my mouth to say something, though I’m not sure what, but he interrupted me.

“You’re a liar and an ingrate. You have no idea how good you’ve got it.” His face morphed as pain mirroring my own rained down his features. “You’ve got a girl who loves you, willing to make a family with you, and you freakin’ dumped her because she wants to keep your baby? Really?” He sucked in a breath. I kept quiet. He wasn’t done; not by a long shot. “And you’ve got a mom with a heart of gold who actually cares where you are, hugs you, feeds you. Your brother doesn’t knock the piss outta you. Your dad doesn’t drink himself to oblivion.” His words tapered off in a hoarse whisper, as if too agonizing for him to speak loudly, but his blazing eyes kept me pinned. Accused.

I wanted to apologize to him for my life. Tell him how many times over the years I’d wished that I could’ve traded the crappy hand life had dealt him. But there was nothing I could do. Nothing I could say.

So I said nothing.

As I drove Jonah home in silence, I realized he was right. Absolutely right. Compared to his shitty life, mine was a bed of roses.

But did that mean I had to trill with the birds and write sonnets and shit for a baby that was turning my whole world on its ass?

I pulled up to his house. “Listen, man—”

He shifted and looked at me. “Don’t worry about it. Do what you want.” He stepped out of the car and slammed the door before I could say more.

The silence accused me like a slap in the face. Damn it. I fumbled in my pocket and found my cell phone. I hadn’t heard from Mel since I’d left her house after her ultimatum. And though it still rubbed me wrong, Jonah’s words stung worse.

I tapped on the screen and texted her.

Hey How r u?

It took a minute for her to reply. I shot a glance to Jonah’s house, nobody seemed to be paying me any mind.

Fine

I texted back.

Can we talk?

Silence for several minutes. I gave up and started the car. Finally, my phone beeped with an answer.

Busy

Really? Really? Busy with what?

I tossed the phone in the seat and threw the car in reverse. Tomorrow was Monday, so she’d have to face me at school. Then we’d see how busy she really was.

September 12
th

Spent some girl time with Roxanne. We ate pickles and cupcakes and danced to her new CD. She listened to me talk about Reed and hugged me while I cried. She’s a good friend. Better than I deserve, since I’ve hardly talked to her in the past few weeks as this baby has taken over my life. My nightmare still fresh on my mind, I really wish I could tell her the truth. All of it. I probably could, she wouldn’t judge me, but the words are stuck in my heart. Somehow it feels traitorous to tell anyone but Reed first, even if we’re over. Soon. I’ll tell him soon.

Maybe.

I’m wondering if this isn’t a blessing in disguise. This way he’s free of me and the baby and can go on with his life. Let me move on to deal with my shame and guilt alone. Like I deserve.

Luckily, Roxie was there to fortify me when Reed texted this afternoon. He asked me how I was, if we could talk.

No.

I can’t.

Boys will be Boys

J
onah and I made a tentative peace, but Melissa managed to avoid me all week at school.

And the following week, too.

It was killing me. Especially as I watched her walk alone through the halls, her smile hollow, her belly growing along with my bitterness.

She answered my first few texts, then she got to where she ignored me altogether.

But today, I’d had it.

I got to school early and waited for her by the front doors where her mom had started dropping her off. I watched her climb down from the big SUV, her belly making the effort a little harder for her.

She ambled my way, calm, no idea what was about to hit her.

She pulled open the clunky school door, her eyes automatically adjusting to the dim lighting. Then she saw me. Her body automatically tensed and her mouth pinched into a frown.

I smiled. “Hi.”

She tried to slip by me without saying a word, but I blocked her path. “I
said
hi,” I repeated, staring down into her face as she stared at the floor.

“Hi,” she murmured reluctantly, again trying to brush past me.

I slipped the book bag from her shoulder. “Here. Let me help you.”

Her gaze snapped up to mine. “What do you want, Reed?”

“I told you. Several times. To talk.”

She strode away, her steps brisk and angry now. “And I told you, we have nothing to talk about.”

I grabbed her arm, stopping her. “Mel.”

“What?”

“I love you.”

She blinked up at me. “Shut up.”

“I do.”

“I can’t . . . I just can’t . . . so please stop calling me, okay?” And though I saw just a momentary glimpse of pain in her deep brown eyes, she locked it up tight before she ripped her bag from my grasp and spun away, ripping the heart from my chest.

Homecoming was that week and I had a rare weekend off work. And it was the first Homecoming that Mel and I wouldn’t be attending together.

Jonah showed up at my house with a stupid grin and a new haircut. “Hey, man, you going to the game?”

“Nah. I don’t think so.”

I hadn’t mentioned his outburst the day at Lettie’s grave and neither had he. Guess we were just gonna let it go. He’d definitely had worse over the years, and we’d sort of come to a silent agreement that he was entitled to his shit because of his home life and I would let it slide. This was just the first time his shit was directed at me. “Aw, come on. It’ll be fun. Me ‘n Chloe are going, and she’s bringing her cousin, Robin, from outta town. She’s real cute.”

I dropped the pencil I’d been toying with in shock. “What?”

“What?” he echoed.

“Dude . . .” I didn’t quite know what to say.

He propped a hip against my dresser and picked up one of my old baseballs. “I thought you and Mel broke up.”

“So?”

“Then you can go out and have some fun. It’s not a date or anything. Come on.”

“What happened to the guy who nailed me for dumping my pregnant girlfriend?” I couldn’t help but ask.

He shrugged. “I was having an off day. And, besides, I know you’ve been trying to make up with her. If she wants to go it alone, I guess that’s her problem.”

I watched him toss the ball back and forth between his hands as the thoughts ticked through my mind. He was right. I could go out. I’d tried to make good with Mel. Lord knows I’d tried. The knot of frustration began to melt away as hope bubbled up.

I was free.

Blessedly free.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

He grinned at me. “Cool.”