Two for Joy (5 page)

T
his year, my spring soccer team was one of the best in the league. I was nervous about this first play-off game because it was the biggest game of my life. I was even more nervous because Tannie was coming to watch me and I wanted to win for her. Finally, I could do something on my Tannie List: Win a soccer game for Tannie!

In general, being the smallest girl on the field didn’t make me nervous at all. Tannie always tells me, I might be little, but I’m fiery! I was definitely ready to be fiery on the field at my game for Tannie.

In the first half, I tore my uniform and skinned my knee, and then scored the only goal of the entire game. All of my teammates gave me high fives and whooped and hollered, “Yeah, Jenna!” I listened for Mom but didn’t hear her shouting, “Jenna! Good job, Jenna!”

I tried to save my best jump header for when Mom and Tannie got there, but I had to use it anyway, because my team needed me. I closed my mouth, bent my knees, attacked that ball, and shot it over to my teammate!

“Nice pass, Jenna!” I heard Coach shout.

I kept looking out for Tannie and her walker, but I only ever saw a bunch of moms and dads and some baby strollers. Not one old lady showed up to watch my game, especially not the one I wanted to see.

After the game, Coach and I put away all the equipment. I hoped Mom would at least remember to pick me up.

I emptied out the water cooler. Did Mom forget me?

I helped the coach load up her car. Then we waited and waited some more. When Mom and Tannie finally got there, I was mad.

“You missed my goal! You missed it! This whole game was for Tannie.” I hollered to keep from crying. Mom looked too tired to get after me for yelling. She shrugged. “Jenna, I had to take Tannie to the doctor. We’re running a little late.”

I looked over at Tannie, who had stayed in the car and was just sitting there in the front seat.

I stomped my foot. “This was the biggest, most important soccer game of my life!”

I looked over at Tannie again. She didn’t even see me play. “It’s not fair!” I shouted.

Tannie saw me and waved. I didn’t feel like waving. I dropped my soccer ball and kicked it with all my might.

“Come on, Jenna. Don’t be mad. Tannie needed me,” Mom said.

Then I did start to cry. “Well, I needed somebody, too! I needed Tannie to see me win the game, just for her! I needed you to say, ‘Good job, Jenna!’ when I made a goal.”

Mom pulled me in close, and even though I’m not a baby anymore, she picked me up in her arms.

“Good job, Jenna! Good job,” she whispered in my ear.

I mashed my face into her neck and tried to plug my tears. “Do you love Aunt Britannia more than you love me?” I asked her.

Mom sighed. “Is that what you think?”

I hid again in Mom’s neck and didn’t say anything. Mom’s earring tickled my cheek.

Mom held me tighter and said, “Tannie’s our family, and I do love her. But, Jenna, you’re my heart.”

I twirled her earring around and around with my finger. “Hey, I gave you those earrings last Christmas,” I said.

“I’ve been wearing them a lot lately. They’re my very, very, very favorite pair. All my patients tell me how pretty they are. Then I always tell my patients all about you.”

Just for a second, I pretended I was still really little and it was still just the two of us. I rested my head on Mom’s shoulder. “I miss you, Mama,” I said.

“I miss you, too. I know it’s been hard and not much fun. We’ll all get better at being a family; you’ll see.” I wiped away my tears and took Mom’s hand. We walked back to the car together. Tannie waved even bigger when she saw me. I decided to wave back. And I hoped Mom was right.

B
ut things didn’t get better.

They sort of got worse. One morning, when Mom and I were running late, we heard Tannie yelling.

“Girls! Girls! Girls!”

Then the walls started to shake.

BOOM-BOOM-BOOM!

That didn’t sound like the school bus to me.

BOOM-BOOM-BOOM!

I called from my room, “Mom! Mom! Is it an earthquake?”

Mom came running out of her bedroom still in her pj’s, looking sleepy and scared. She thought Tannie had fallen and was hurt on the stairs.

But there Tannie stood, at the bottom of the steps.

She was banging her walker against the wall.

“Girls, you’re late! Get on down here, girls!”

BOOM-BOOM-BOOM!

Tannie kept right on banging that walker until we came down together.

When Mom marched downstairs, I knew Tannie was in big trouble, even though it was sort of nice of her to make us toast and juice for breakfast.

“Aunt Britannia! You are not our personal alarm clock! And your walker is NOT for banging — it’s for walking!” Mom had never before bossed Tannie like that.

Tannie looked hurt and her voice got quiet. “You have so much to do by yourself, Grace. I thought I would fix breakfast this morning. I didn’t want you girls to be late — that’s all.”

Mom raised her eyebrows at Tannie. “I do not need you to put yourself in harm’s way by doing crazy things with your walker. I don’t need that kind of help.”

Tannie looked at Mom for the longest time without saying a word. We all just stood there. I saw Butt’s tail swishing under the sofa.

Finally, Tannie spoke. “Grace, we all need help sometimes.”

After that, we all stayed quiet. Butt stayed under the sofa and wouldn’t come out. I looked out the living-room window and wondered if I had missed the school bus yet. In the serviceberry bush outside the window, I spotted three brown birds with black masks and red-tipped wings.

“Look, Tannie! What are those birds? They’re feeding each other!”

“Oh, Jenna! What a good eye you have for birds. That’s the cedar waxwing. What a loving, gentle bird, one of my very favorites. Add the waxwing to your list right away!” I did add the waxwing to my life list. I watched the family of three waxwings take turns feeding one another berries. Would we ever learn to be loving and gentle like they were?

I
hoped it would be different, but that night as soon as we walked through the door, it was still like everybody had stopped even trying to learn to live together. Mom rushed to the kitchen so she could fix supper. Tannie started back to her room to watch TV. Butt and I played paper football on the floor.

Halfway down the hall, though, Tannie turned back and asked Mom, “Grace, do you need some help with supper?”

Mom answered, “No. I can do it myself. But thanks all the same.”

Tannie stood there watching Mom until Mom looked up from chopping an onion.

“What?” Mom said in sort of a snippy way. “I said I can do it.”

Then Mom tried to sound nicer. “You should go rest, Tannie. After supper and after I vacuum, I’ll help you with your shower.”

Tannie leaned on her walker and didn’t say a word. She pushed her walker, one slow step at a time, all the way back down the hall and into the bathroom.

I heard Tannie start the shower. I looked at Mom.

Mom kept chopping onions; she must have heard it, too, but didn’t look up.

I heard a big bang in the bathroom.

Mom dropped the knife and flew down the hall.

“Grace, all right, I could use some help,” I heard Tannie call out, but pretty quietly.

“Tannie! Tannie, I’m coming!” Mom yelled. She dashed into the bathroom. Butt and I ran down the hall behind her.

I didn’t expect to hear what I heard next.

Mom started laughing. “I’ll say you could use some help. You’re in a pickle, Tannie. Here, let me help. Oops. Oops. Oops. Come back, here.” I heard an awful lot of banging. Had Mom dropped Tannie?

“Here, let me help you, Grace.” The banging didn’t stop. Had Tannie dropped Mom? The laughing didn’t stop. What could be so funny?

I pushed the door open just to see for myself. I didn’t knock.

There was Tannie in her birthday suit, sitting on her special shower chair. There Mom was right with her — apron, clothes, shoes, and all.

They both kept dropping the slippery soap. Every time Mom almost caught the soap, it escaped like a game of keep-away.

Mom reached again for the soap. It shot out of her hand, hit the wall, and then landed in Tannie’s lap. Tannie tried to grab it, and it slid right through her fingers. Tannie and Mom were laughing so hard, they were red in the face. Mom had to lean against the wall to keep from falling herself.