Two Halves Series (52 page)

“I don’t even know where to start looking, Mom.”

“You’ll figure it out. It’s a natural progression. I’ll come to see you soon.” She disappeared.

I found myself floating behind the trees, trying to hide, even though Xander couldn’t see me.

“You know what happens when you’re here.” Xander came closer to Xela, brushing the back of his hand along the cheek he still thought was mine.

“That’s why I came without you,” Xela said.

“You weren’t supposed to come at all.” His eyes closed and his nose moved as if it were twitching. “You seem different.” Xander’s senses recognized Xela better than he did.

“I do?” Hope fluttered in Xela’s voice.

Xander placed his hands on Xela’s hips, pulling her in. I heard his pulse race.

Xela’s lips quivered. Remembering how I’d wanted no one else except Xander a couple nights ago, I imagined the control she’d need to keep her distance. She bit her lower lip.

Don’t
.
Don’t screw this up.

Xela looked my way, as if she’d sensed my warning. “I shouldn’t have come,” she said, pushing away from Xander. “I won’t do it again.”

She strode toward the forest but stopped before entering the darkness of the foliage and looked back. Xander’s body trembled, shaking off the lust. He looked from Xela toward the entrance to the cave, then back to Xela.

“I have to feed her,” he said reluctantly. “I gather you know the way home?”

Xela didn’t reply. She turned and escaped into the forest.

* * *

The night cooled more than usual, and I found it odd not to personally feel the change in temperature, only sense nature’s reaction to the cooler air. Or perhaps it was the connection I had to my body, remembering the crisper air of midnight. It made me wish I could feel the air.

“I know you’re hovering behind me,” Xela said, hiking through the shrubs. She pushed the lower branches away, ripping some out with their roots. “You shouldn’t be around me. Miranda will be curious to see the twins’ progress. She’ll be here when she’s not with Xander or taunting your mother.”

I chose to appear in my ghost form for Xela. “She’s watching the twins?”

“Yes, she’s planning their kidnapping.”

“We have to stop her!”

“That’s why we’re doing this,” Xela replied in a cool voice, keeping her eyes on the trail in front of her as she continued walking. “Sarah, I know it’s difficult for you, but the best thing for you to do is learn how to be a ghost. Use your skills to find Miranda’s body. I will care for your children.”

Somehow, I believed her. I recognized her intentions toward my children as honorable, but it didn’t prevent my feeling jealousy for her having my family and interacting with them, even though she hadn’t done that yet.

“You’re sacrificing a lot, Sarah. I know that. But it’s the only way.”

“It’s hard for you to see him, isn’t it?” I said.

“Imagine not being able to touch the only person you’d ever loved,” she replied.

“I do.” I thought about William and my children and recalled what it was like to watch Miranda in my body four years ago, touching William when I couldn’t.

“For decades,” she added, then picked up her pace.

“Oh . . .” It was like she knew exactly what I thought.

“It will take a few hours for me to remember all my human movements. And,” she paused, “I’m not going to use your body.”

“I didn’t think about it that way.” I avoided branches and trees, my human instincts intact. “Wait, what if William wants to . . .” My hand flew to cover my mouth.

“Don’t worry. I’m still a woman. I know how to fake a headache.”

“William will not fall for that.”

“I’m still a witch, Sarah; I know how to deceive.”

“
Are
you deceiving me?”

She looked my way. “What does your gut tell you?”

“No. I trust you.” Speaking to Xela while seeing me—Xela in my body—felt strange. It was like looking at your own reflection in the mirror, but knowing it wasn’t you. “How long will this last?”

“A few days. Your mother will call you when she’s ready. I’ll plot with the children.”

“You’re going to involve them?”

“Sarah, they were involved before they were born.” She stopped on the brink of a canyon. “Believe me, they’re fiercer than you think. They can handle themselves well. I’ve seen them in action.”

I didn’t want to know how or when. Being a ghost was enough to deal with.

Xela leapt over the edge, bouncing from one branch to another until her feet touched the ground. She crouched, scanning the forest, then ran. The witch didn’t look like she needed a reminder of how to use her human form, or a vampire’s skills. My new cohort was as graceful as vampire as I was. Perhaps the deception would work.

I followed. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Find Miranda’s body. You’re a ghost now—make your invisibility useful.” She stopped by an overgrown fern. “Miranda has a way of knowing everything. Don’t let her touch you. She’s like poison ivy.”

“I’m a ghost.” I flowed beside her as she resumed a slow trot.

“It doesn’t mean she can’t touch you. Now that I’m gone, she’ll be looking for me. Stay clear of her,” Xela warned.

“So I need to find her body without Miranda seeing me. But I don’t know what she looks like.”

“She looks the same as the body in the cave. That is Miranda.” Xela stopped and pointed ahead; I saw the lights of the cottage shining through the trees. “We’re almost there.”

“I-I guess I should go now,” I said, fighting my reluctance.

Xela looked at me. “Don’t worry. We’ll get rid of Aseret before he gets to the children.”

“You’re so sure.”

“I just know stuff.” She smirked. “I promise to help.”

Part of me wished for Xela’s confidence. Her behavior, her movements were swift and flawless. I remembered being that way in Pinedale; then, somewhere between my body being stolen, my marriage to William, and the children’s birth, I’d lost myself. I’d forgotten who I was—or perhaps I no longer paid attention to who I was.

“Sarah, you don’t give yourself enough credit,” Xela said softly, as if she were reading my face, the way I used to do with others. “I wish I had what you have: a loving family, strength, devotion. Don’t forget who you are. Not many would be brave enough to do what you’ve done today.”

“Thank you.” Her words lifted my chin higher. “I guess I’ll see you around.”

“Very funny.” She rolled her eyes the way I would have.

I waited until Xela was closer to home before letting my ghost disappear.
Home,
I thought, missing it more than I wanted to admit, stalling, not ready to leave just yet.

Xela took her first step onto the patch of grass in the clearing, then halted.

Eric stood on the porch with his arms crossed on his chest.

I rushed to the edge of the clearing, wanting to see what he’d do.

“Do not move, or I will bend you, witch.”

Xela stood motionless. “You cannot. There’s no other body.”

“What have you done?” he asked, then looked at me, detecting the ghostly body that would be invisible to others.
And you let her?
he asked me.

Of course Xela couldn’t hear what he’d said. Our telepathic connection remained private.

You can see me?
I asked.

Don’t you remember I’m bound to you?
he replied.

I smiled.

“Sarah agreed to it. It’s the only way to destroy Aseret,” Xela said.

“Liar! You tricked her.” He rushed across the lawn, stopping inches away from Xela. Blue sparks flew between his fingers. Fleshy spikes extended on his neck, vibrating as electricity roamed his body in spasms.

“Just listen to me, Eric, then you can check with Sarah if you’d like. Her soul is safe. We’ve been able to seclude ourselves from Miranda.”

“I know where Sarah’s soul is, witch.” Then he froze. “Miranda’s out?”

Xela nodded.

“I didn’t think it was possible.”

“No one did. No one knew. She’s as conniving as she ever was, and in cahoots with Aseret.”

“If Miranda’s out . . .” He scratched his head. “What if—”

“I can help you,” she interrupted.

He scowled at her. “I don’t have much choice now, do I?” The flow of electricity around Eric’s palms ceased, and he lowered his shoulders. “You’re a marked witch. Why are you doing this?”

“Someone changed me, even if it’s not obvious on the outside.” She rubbed her hand, where the sphere mark would have been on her old body. “You cannot tell anyone, Eric, not even Mira.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

“I’m not ready to face him.”

You’re all right with this, Sarah?
he asked.

Yes, it’s the only way, according to my mother.

That’s what she’s been scheming.
Aloud, he asked, “So you won’t let Xander know you’re back?”

Xela shook her head. “William would be destroyed. I can’t have him interfere and try to follow Sarah’s ghost around. He’ll be told when the time is right for him to step in to help us. Xander will be trickier. He’ll be drawn to me.”

“How did you do it? Are there marks on Xela’s body?”

“No.” She lifted her head in pride. “Miranda’s powerful, but so am I. I do not need blood to switch bodies.”

His stance relaxed despite him crossing his arms. “What’s your plan?”

“I’ll need your help. Miranda’s had my soul imprisoned for decades, but now that I’m not there, she’ll look for me.”

“I’ll distract her,” Eric said. “I won’t have trouble pinpointing her soul anymore.”

Xela shook her head. “You cannot. She cannot know you know. Just distract her without her knowing.”

Up went one of Eric’s eyebrows. “You’re asking a lot.”

“I know but perhaps this way, I’ll earn Xander’s trust back.”

The front door of the cabin opened. William stepped out on the porch. “Sarah? I was getting worried. Why aren’t you coming in?”

“I just needed to speak with Eric about the children,” Xela lied. “Are they sleeping?”

“Yes, sound asleep.” William stared at Xela as if it was the first time he’d seen me.

Xela swept onto the porch using my vampire speed; from William’s side, she turned to Eric. “Trust me, Eric, I know what I’m doing. The kids’ training has already helped them, but come back tomorrow. I think we’ve missed some tricks they should know.” She finished with a wink toward my watcher.

“I’ll be watching them even when I’m not here,” he said, his tone veiling a warning.

William, I’m sure, took it as generosity.

You and I need to chat,
Eric said to me.
I gather you know how to find me?

Yes.

Eric frowned, then swirled into nothingness through a vortex.

“So, how was your trip?” William wrapped his arms around Xela.

She shook her head. “He came earlier than I thought he would.”

“You have to stop taunting Xander. Let his business with Xela be his own.”

“You could say I had an out-of-body experience while talking to the witch,” Xela replied.

He took Xela’s hand and cradled it between his. William smiled at the fake ruby. To him, the ring confirmed that its wearer was me. His gaze flew back up at Xela, then at the ring. The distance between his eyes narrowed. A hint of doubt zoomed across his face. Then he exhaled.

If he only knew.
I wished he could feel in his heart what had happened.

“Not the same kind of out-of-body experience you had already, I hope?”

He knows!

Xela laughed. “Like I would let that happen again.”

“I know you wouldn’t.” He hugged her. “No soul-switching, as promised.”

“As promised,” she whispered, leaning her head against his chest.

William didn’t know and I felt more invisible than I was already.

“I need to let Xander deal with the witch on his own,” she said.

“Finally, you listen.” William sounded relieved and kissed the top of her head.

I imagined the heat buildup between their embraced bodies and a tingle of regret crossed my mind.

“I don’t think I have a choice.”

“Good. I’m glad you’re back. Perhaps we can start where we left off?” His voice dropped.

She pulled back, looking into William’s eyes. I could feel Xela’s nerves. If I felt them, would William? This was the part I feared. William would still want my body, the way he always had. Would she give him what he needed? Would she use my body to make love to my husband the way I did?

“I think you need to remind me a little,” she replied, her tone teasing as she pressed her body to William’s again.

That’s when I understood what I’d given up. I’d given up the right to use my body, and Xela, after all, was still a witch. I wasn’t sure fidelity was at the top of her list, even if she’d promised.

“You seem different,” he stroked her hand and the ruby with his thumb.

“Because you haven’t had me in a while.” She bit her lower lip.

“Two days is a while?”

“It is right now.”

“Then let me remind you of what you’ve missed.” William picked Xela up and threw her over his shoulder. She laughed with my laugh.

The heart I remembered from my chest tightened and I knew what came next. Unwilling to watch, I turned my head aside and thought of my children. My ghost was pulled into their bedroom. Their sleeping faces were as peaceful as an angel’s, their cheeks dimly illuminated by the yellow glow of the moon-shaped nightlight. I wanted to inhale their honey and lemon scent and to kiss their cheeks but failed.

Their eyes opened. “Hi, Mama,” they said in unison.

I leaned back in surprise. “You can see me?”

They nodded.

I tried to hug them and couldn’t. Again I straightened. “I need you to stay close to your daddy and Uncle Eric. Can you do that for me?”

“We’ll try, Mama, but we won’t be here long,” Crystal said.

“What do you mean?”

“We need to be big like you,” Ayer said.

I laughed. “Take your time growing up.”

“We’ll grow up fast,” Crystal said solemnly.

“I know, I know,” I answered. “You’re already growing up too fast.”