Authors: Roddy Doyle
— McKillop.
— Wasn’t he brilliant?
— Fuckin’ amazin’.
— But I’ll tell yeh – the bit tha’ got me. When his ma – like, when his ma presented him with the medal. I was nearly cryin’.
— It was a fuckin’ disgrace.
— Wha’?!
— Did yeh not hear?
— Hear wha’?
— The story.
— Wha’ fuckin’ story? If you’re—
— Just listen, will yeh.
— Go on.
— Righ’. They had Kylie Minogue lined up to give the poor lad his medal.
— Fuck off.
— Serious.
— Jesus. Why Kylie, but?
— Ah, for fuck –. Listen. Say you’ve just won a medal. There’s an Oul’ Lads Olympics an’ you’ve won gold for – say – the synchronised arse scratchin’. Okay?
— Okay.
— Can yeh think of annyone you’d prefer to see comin’ at yeh with your medal than Kylie?
— No.
— Well, that’s wha’ they had set up for poor McKillop.
— You’re fuckin’ messin’.
— It’s on YouTube. His ma pushed Kylie out o’ the
way
– split her head open against one o’ the pillars. And she walked ou’ with the fuckin’ medal.
— Fuck off.
— Poor Kylie needed stitches.
— I’m not listenin’.
— Made me ashamed to be Irish.
— Fuck off.
About the Author
Roddy Doyle was born in Dublin in 1958. He is the author of nine acclaimed novels, two collections of short stories, and
Rory & Ita
, a memoir about his parents. He won the Booker Prize in 1993 for
Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha
.