Two Steps Back (14 page)

Faraj let his words dance in the air, and Jaylah focused all of her energy on keeping her feelings in check. The last thing she needed was to
feel
something for this man who seemed so willing to let her in to his most private moments, but she couldn’t help it. Something about Faraj’s openness made her want to know more.

He smiled again,
splintering some of the tension between them. “Sorry, I’m supposed to be showing you my work, not telling you my sob story.”

“No, no.  This is great,” she said,
trying to sound aloof and professional. “It helps me get inside your head and see what makes you tick.”

He smirked.
“I don’t know if you want to see what’s inside my head.”

“Of course I do. It’ll help me write a more in depth
profile.”

Jaylah was full of shit and she knew it.
She stole a glance at his lips and wondered if they were still as soft as the night they kissed. For the last week, flashes of their passionate evening flickered through her memory, and no matter how hard she tried to forget, Jaylah just couldn’t shake how good his tongue felt all over her skin. She cleared her throat hoping to mask her desire. “People love a good backstory and it sounds like you have a very interesting one. I’m excited about this.”

“Oh. M
e too,” he said, grinning like a sneaky child. “You look really beautiful, by the way. I meant to tell you that when you got here.”

Jaylah nervously ran her hand
over the mop of curls that had multiplied in size since she got off the train and walked the half-mile to Faraj’s flat. The damp afternoon had turned her somewhat tame twist-out into a wild, wavy ‘fro that rivaled Chaka Khan’s. Jaylah wished she’d brought a hair tie to pull it back so she could still look presentable. After ripping through her closet to find something to wear, she decided on a pair of black jeans and an indigo peplum top that hid the beginnings of her baby bump. Jaylah thought she looked good, but not
beautiful.

“Thank you,”
she said, blushing as she watched Faraj’s eyes sweep over her again. “So…umm…can I see some of your stuff? It looks like you’re drowning in canvases.”

“Sure, I’ll sho
w you what I’m working on now.”

Faraj led Jaylah into another room that
had about a half-dozen sketches taped to the walls and a blank canvas perched on an easel. The sketches were of women in various poses—sitting, standing, dancing—and in various states of undress. They were all rough and unfinished, but still impressive.

“Are these a part of a portrait series?”

“Yeah. I’m trying to decide if I want to paint several women or just one woman. But I haven’t really been inspired by any of them.”

“
What’s this?” Jaylah asked, uncovering a group of paintings that featured a woman similar to the one she’d seen in the gallery.

“Those are from an unfinished collection,” he said closing the distance between them.

She cycled through the paintings and was in awe of the woman again. “But these look done. And they’re lovely, Faraj.” Jaylah held up a portrait of a brown skin woman in a body-hugging dress, pouty red lips, and a crush of untamed hair. She looked like she was dancing. “This one is…wow. It’s dope.”

“
Of course it is. It’s you,” Faraj said, standing so close they were almost touching.

“This…she…” Jaylah stammered. “She can’t be me. She looks…”

“Trust me. I painted her, remember?” He cocked a sly eyebrow.

Jaylah felt like she’d stepped into a sauna. Her
body was warm and a familiar ache started building in her loins. She had to get out of there—quick—before she lost her head.

Jaylah
put the painting down and moved to the other side of the room, hoping to put some distance between them. She needed a distraction from the lust edging up her body, but Faraj followed her, once again narrowing the space between them and setting her aflame.

“Pose for me,” he said in a seductive hush.

“What? Don’t be silly, Faraj. I’m not a model.”

“So what. I painted those others after I saw you at the gallery. It was crazy. It was like I was possessed. I didn’t stop for like four days, I was so inspired. Pose for me, please?”

“I…I…don’t think that will be a good idea,” she sputtered, suddenly ready to leave Faraj’s flat. “I’m supposed to be objective remember? I’m writing a story about you, I can’t be
in
the story.”

“Just think about it.
It would mean the world to me, Jaylah. Please just consider it.”

Damn, he’s even sexier when he begs. Get out of here girl. NOW.

“I’ll think about it, Faraj, but…” she looked at her watch like it mattered what time it was. “I have to get going. I have another appointment and it’s all the way in Shoreditch.”

“Let me give you a lift.”

“You don’t have to do that, I’m just going to jump on the Tube and…”

“It’s no problem, really,” he said cutting her off. “
I have to deliver a painting to Clerkenwell and another to Marylebone. One of the pieces from he opening sold.”

“Which one? The woman?”

“No, that one isn’t for sale. I’m keeping that one…for my private collection,” he said, moving a wayward piece of hair out of her face.

Jaylah turned her back, trying to will her emotions under control. This afternoon with Faraj was s
upposed to be strictly business; she was there to interview him, see his artwork, and leave. But instead Jaylah was blushing like a schoolgirl who finally caught the attention of the cutest boy in school.

“So, which one
s did you sell?” she asked, hoping the change in subject would stop their flirting.

He crossed the room and pulled a drop cloth off of a gigantic canvas depicting a couple strolling down the glittery streets of the West End.

“This one was commissioned. This older gentlemen had me paint it for his wife. He took her to the theater on their first date 30 years ago and someone snapped their picture, but they lost it in a fire.”

“She’s going to
love
this. We women go crazy over shit like this.”

“
Why? Because it’s romantic?” he chuckled.

“No, it shows that he
cares, and he was obviously paying attention. That’s what women really want, you know. To be seen.”

“Even you?” he asked, walking back over to her.

Yes,” Jaylah admitted quietly. “Even me.”

“Good, because I can’t keep my eyes off of you.”

Faraj stood directly in front of Jaylah and tilted her chin up. He paused to stare into her eyes and appeared to study her face before he leaned in to kiss her.

Jaylah knew it was wrong. How could she just stand there and let another man cover her mouth with his? But she couldn’t move. It was as if her feet were nailed to the floor, preventing her from running away.

Faraj traced her nose, then the outline of her lips before gently taking her head in his hands and bringing it closer to him.

She
waited to feel his warmth and taste his tongue as it slipped into her mouth, but just before their lips met her phone blared, shocking her back to her senses. She fumbled through her bag to silence the ringer, but she noticed it was Johnny.

Jaylah
held up a finger and then turned her back on Faraj. “Hello?”

“Hey,” he said,
sounding excited. “I have some news. Can you meet me at my office?”

“Everything okay?”

“It might be,” he said, and Jaylah’s heart beat faster. Between almost kissing Faraj and whatever Johnny had to tell her, she wasn’t sure she could take any more excitement for the day. “Babes, I’ll explain when I see you. Can you get here in a hour?”

“
Yeah…that should work,” she said turning to look at Faraj who was waiting patiently while she wrapped up her conversation.

“
Good,” Johnny sighed, “I love you.”

“You too.”

Jaylah hung up the phone and thanked God for saving her from a major fuckup. She couldn’t believe how close she came to kissing Faraj and possibly cheating on the man she loved. 

What the hell were you thinking, Jay?
she asked herself while she eyed Faraj—sexy, vulnerable, passionate Faraj.

Okay. You’ve really got to get out of here!

“Faraj, I gotta get going,” she said, already moving toward the stairs. “I appreciate the offer to drop me off, but I really don’t want to bother you and I’m cool. I’ll call you later to set up a time for us to talk again for the profile. I think it’s going to be great!”

“Jaylah…should we talk about
this?”

She shooed away
the mention of their almost kiss. “No need. We both got a little caught up,” she said. “Won’t happen again.”

Jaylah
regretted adding that last bit when she saw his shoulders deflate and a sad look flood his eyes. She didn’t want to hurt Faraj’s feelings; as a matter of fact, she
really
wanted to kiss him. But that just wasn’t the best idea. Not when she was in love with Johnny and pregnant with his child.

No, no mater how
gorgeous and mysterious and exciting Faraj was, he needed to remain part of her history, not her future. She couldn’t let him complicate her life; she had enough of that already.

A
nd now Johnny had news.

Jaylah just hoped it was something goo
d.

Eighteen

Jaylah waited for the elevator on the ground floor of One Canada Square, a posh skyscraper in Canary Wharf that housed many of the city’s financial intuitions. She paced the aisle during the entire 40-minute train ride to Johnny’s office wondering what was so important he had to share it in person.

Johnny rarely let his emotions get the better of him. While every shift in Jaylah’s mood flashed across her face, he kept his feelings in check, choosing to project an unshakable air of confidence, even when things were falling apart. So when he called to tell Jaylah he had some news, she knew it had to be big.

“Hello, I’m here to see Mr. Poku,” she told the receptionist when she got off the elevator on the 27th floor. The offices of JPFS, Inc.—a mash-up of Johnny’s initials and that of his partner Femi Solade—were modern and beige, standard fare for the stuffy firms housed in Canary Wharf.

“Your name, miss?”

“Jaylah Baldwin,” she said, suddenly aware that this was the first time she’d been inside Johnny’s office. Whenever they’d meet after work or for lunch he’d be downstairs in the lobby waiting for her. It struck Jaylah as both odd and amusing that he’d finally invited her up.

“Oh yes, he’s expecting you,” the woman said with a wide smile. “Take a right and Mr. Poku’s office is at the end of the
corridor.”

“Thank you.”

“And congratulations!” the woman called behind Jaylah as she headed down the hallway.

When she got to Johnny’s door, Jaylah paused and said a little prayer that she could handle whatever he was about to
say. She told herself that she would not, under any circumstances, make a scene that would embarrass either one of them, and she was absolutely not going to cry—pregnancy hormones be dammed.

Jaylah knocked on the door and waited
for Johnny’s voice to welcome her in, but instead he flung it open and hugged her like he hadn’t seen her in weeks. Then he kissed her. Not a polite, run-of-the-mill kiss, but a passionate I-want-to-tear-your-clothes-off lip-lock.

“I’m glad you could make it, babes,” he said, face stretched into a
big grin. He turned and introduced her to a man sitting in the corner of the room. “Jaylah this is Charles Barrington.”

“Oh…hello,” she said, slightly embarrassed and caught off guard that Johnny would kiss her so passionately when someone else was in the room.

The man stood and extended his hand. “Nice to meet you, Jaylah. I’ve heard so much about you.” She looked at Johnny who was still smiling, wondering what had been said.

Who was this man? And why has he heard so much about me?

“I can wait in the lobby. I didn’t mean to interrupt your meeting,” she stammered, feeling off balance by the entire scene.

“No,
Charles is my barrister. He’s why I called.”

“Oh? I don’t understand…what’s the news?”

“It’s about Fiona.” Jaylah’s body tensed at the mention of his ex-wife’s name. Even though Johnny seemed happy about whatever was going on, Jaylah braced herself just in case a bomb was about to go off. “Charles will explain everything. Charles?”

Johnny led
Jaylah to the seat next to his lawyer.

“We believe Ms. O’leary is going to accepting our settlement offer. We’ve been going back and forth all week with her solicitor, but he said they’ll give us an answer this afternoon.”

Charles smiled at Jaylah and she felt like she should speak up. “Oh great.” Jaylah tried to sound excited, but she was still worried. “But…how can you be sure she’ll accept the offer? Last week she decided to file her own petition, what’s changed?”

“Like I told Jonathan, that was merely a
negotiation tactic. She never actually filed the petition. She just wanted more money.”

“And you’ve given it to her?”
Jaylah asked.

“We increased our offer. It’s more than generous. Her other demands were a little unreasonable.”

Jaylah was curious about Fiona’s other requests. Did they include her? Was she pissed about the baby? Did she even know?

“Like what?”

Charles looked at Johnny as if to ask for permission to discuss his divorce proceedings with Jaylah. Johnny nodded and Charles continued talking.

“Well, she wanted to keep the house, her car, and
half of his assets, which amounted to about five million pounds.”

“Five million pounds….” Jaylah repeated like she wasn’t sure if she’d heard Charles correctly. She knew Johnny wasn’t struggling, but Jaylah didn’t realize he was a millionaire. Aside from his shiny Mercedes and well-tailored suits, Johnny wasn’t flashy. He didn’t waste money on frivolous things like expensive gadgets or gaudy jewelry, and h
is uniform was always the same: suit, dress shoes, and an understated watch when he was working; a pair of jeans and a button-down shirt when he was not. Moreover, nothing about his demeanor screamed wealthy—he wasn’t entitled, he worked his ass off, and he never talked down to anyone. So when Jaylah heard that half of his assets amounted to more than she’d probably earn in a lifetime she was thrown for a loop.

“Exactly. Completely unreasonable,” Charles said, “especially since Jonathan founded this firm before they were married and had already made several of the deals that would net him millions. She had no claims to it really. Her petition was like a Hail Mary pass.”

Jaylah’s head was still swimming.
A millionaire? Johnny is a millionaire?

“And now you think she’ll accept the settlement?”

“Definitely. We told them two-and-a-half million was our best offer, and if she wanted more they’d have to see us in court.”

“What happens if she
decides to go to court? Will I be dragged into this? I’m here on a VISA, you know, I can’t afford for anything to mess that up.”

Johnny spoke up then, caressing her hand. “
I wouldn’t let that happen, Jay.” His eyes were resolute and assured, a familiar look. “You know that.”

The first time she’d seen this look
was way back in the beginning. They were getting ready to leave the Jazz Café when a man approached Jaylah and asked for a dance. When she declined he pressed the issue, grabbing her arm and whispering something lewd in her ear. Before she could react, Johnny stepped between them, daring the man to put his hands on her again
or else
. The man got loud, threating to mash Johnny up, but he never wavered, he just glared at the man like he would go off if he did more than talk. The man finally slunk away, and Jaylah was impressed that Johnny had not only stepped in to protect her, but also refused to back down when the man became increasingly belligerent.

Jaylah knew Johnny would do everything in his power to protect her, but if Fiona decided to take their battle to court, she couldn’t be sure
that he could.

“
If
they go to court,” Charles spoke again, “she’ll need a new solicitor. I’ll eat that guy alive,” he chuckled. Jaylah could see why Johnny hired Charles, they both operated on the same inordinate amount of self-assurance that seemed almost foreign to most others.

Charles’ phone rang and he looked at Johnny. It was Fiona’s attorney calling with an answer. As they listened to pieces of the one-sided conversation
, Johnny stroked her hand while they stared at Charles intently, trying to decipher Fiona’s answer from his responses.

“I see. Yes, well, you know that’s our final offer and we fe
el like it’s more than generous.” Charles was up on his feet, pacing the room as he talked. “I understand, but if we go before the judge we’ll argue for less. And you know my track record, Hugh.” Jaylah watched the portly man, her heart beating wildly at the idea that they were close to end of Johnny’s divorce.

Jaylah
had prayed the proceedings would be over by the time she had the baby in June, but now that it could possibly be settled in a matter of weeks, she was once again confronted with her uncertainty about getting married. No matter what happened, she and Johnny needed to talk about it soon.

“Well,” Charles said when he got off the phone, “they’ve agreed to our terms. I’ll file the
decree nisi tomorrow, and in six weeks, if everything goes according to plan, you’ll officially be divorced.”

“Brilliant! That’s just brilliant,” Johnny said, shaking
his lawyer’s hand. “Thanks for all of your hard work, Charles. It really means a lot to me.” He turned to hug Jaylah. “To us. It means the world to us, man. Thank you.”

“My pleasure. I’ll leave you two
alone to celebrate,” he said, winking at Jaylah. “Jonathan, I’ll have my secretary send over a copy of the papers on Monday.”

Johnny led Charles out of his office and r
ushed back over to Jaylah. “My God, I’m so happy,” he said, picking her up and spinning her around. “No more purgatory! Now we can move on with our lives, innit.”

His energy was infectious and Jaylah couldn’t help but be caught up in his jubilation. A weight
had
been lifted from their backs. Johnny wouldn’t be married to another woman when their was child born, and perhaps, with the divorce proceedings coming to an end, Jaylah could finally let go of her guilt and get on with their lives.

But there was just one more hurdle they needed to clear:
her apprehension about getting married.

“Congrats, Mr. Poku,” Jaylah said, wrapping her arms around his neck and placing a kiss on his chin. “There’s just one problem…”

He pulled back to look at her, concern etching his face. “What’s that?”

“So….you’re a millionaire?”

He broke out in a throaty laugh. “And that’s a problem?”

“How come you didn’t tell me?”

“How was I supposed to tell you? Hello, I’m Johnny, I’m a millionaire?” he chuckled some more. “It’s not something I talk about anyway. It’s just money, it’s not that important.”

“So what else have you been
hiding from me?” Jaylah said, keeping her tone playful.

He kissed her neck, then parted her lips with his tongue. “Nothing. There’s nothing else.”

“Are you sure?” she quizzed.

“Umm hmm. As a matter of
fact,” he paused to kiss her again, “I wanted to set up a meeting with my accountant so we could go over everything. I need to update my insurance polices to make certain you and the baby are taken care of in case…”

She put a finger to his mouth
, hushing him. “I don’t want to think about that.”

“I know, b
ut we have to plan for the worst and hope for the best, babes.”

The worst.
Jaylah didn’t even want to entertain the possibility of Johnny dying and leaving her alone with a baby—even if she had enough money to tide her over for a lifetime. She wanted him.

“Charles thinks we should get a pre
-nup.”

Jaylah bristled.
The worst. He’s already planning for our demise.

“
And what do you think?”

“I think he’s
a jaded bloke who handles too many divorces,” Johnny chortled. “I told him to forget about it.”

“I would think someone in your position would consider it. Didn’t you just say ‘hope for the best, plan for the worst?’”

Johnny pulled her away from his chest again and looked her in the eyes. “Yeah, but I’m in this forever, Jaylah.”

“You promise
d Fiona the same thing…”

“I did, but
I didn’t mean it,” he admitted. “I didn’t even want to get married. It just seemed like the responsible thing to do.”

“And now…
” Jaylah touched her stomach, “are you just being responsible?”

“Yes, of course,” he sai
d covering her hand with his, “but I’m also crazy about you. Like, completely mad.”

Jaylah searched his eyes for answers, and he didn’t flinch or waver under her gaze.
He allowed her to study his face, probably hoping whatever she saw put her fears at ease.

“And if I wasn’t pregnant, would you still…”

“Of course, I would,” he said, cutting her off. “I’m not here because of the baby, Jaylah. I didn’t turn my life inside out just because of our child. Don’t get me wrong, I’m over the fucking moon about being a father, but I did this for you. For us. I love you. I loved you before I even knew you were pregnant, remember? And I love you now. This isn’t a fad, Jay. I’m not going to stop loving you tomorrow or the next day or the next.”

“And years from now? When things aren’t so new and exciting? What about then?”

“I’ll still love you.”

“You promise?”
she asked, tears gathering in her eyes.

Johnny drew an imaginary X over his chest. “
Forever, forever, ever.”

Jaylah prayed she could say the same.