Two Weddings and a Fugitive (The Chanel Series Book 4) (13 page)

I let out a snort. ‘Albinos have white hair.’ I mean even
I
knew that.

‘Oh and you’re an expert on albinos are you?’ He climbed to his feet and dusted his pants off. ‘If you must know,’ his voice said he didn’t see why I had to, ‘I dye my hair.’

I peered at his head. Sure enough a few millimetres of white roots showed below the black.

Oh great. I had humiliated a dwarf and an albino in one morning. I was on a roll.

‘I tried to make it brown, but it went green.’

The hairdresser in me kicked into action. ‘That happens when you go from light to dark without enough of a red base.’ I stepped closer and picked up a few strands. ‘Although I’m surprised you got away with the black.’

‘What are you? A hairdresser?’

I paused. It was a cover I could carry off. ‘You got me.’ I gave him a two-finger salute. ‘And as a professional I would like to say that the black looks very natural.’ I narrowed my eyes to see if my nose had gotten any longer.

His mouth half-quirked into a smile. ‘What was all that stuff about Boris?’

‘Chaneellll,’ Nick wheezed.

I looked over my shoulder. He was almost there. ‘Oh just something I made up to try to get you to tell me why you had been watching us.’

‘It’s pretty convincing.’ He ran a hand through his hair. ‘I wasn’t watching
you
. I was watching your tall friend with the husky voice.’

And the Adam’s apple?
‘Martine?’

‘Is that her name?’ He smiled for the first time.

‘Yeah. So, urrr, no hard feelings?’ I held my hand out.

He stared at it for a second and then said, ‘On one condition.’

‘Chanel.’ Nick reached my side and bent over, clutching his knees as he sucked in air.

‘What condition?’

‘A drink. With your friend.’

I stared at him for a second. Martine would kick my arse if I tried to set her up with this guy. I mean he was the arch-nemesis of all that she liked in men. Bronzed, beefy and brown. ‘Tonight. Six o’clock at the bar we were at the other night,’ I said.

‘Deal.’ He reached out and took my hand, looking as if I had just offered him a million bucks.

He started walking back to the hotel, leaving me there with Nick who was still panting.

‘Was that?’ He took one hand off his knee and flicked it at the albino.

‘My bad,’ I said. ‘Turns out he’s just a tourist.’

He started to laugh. ‘And you tackled him.’ He leant back over while he laughed. ‘You had him in an arm-lock.’ He collapsed onto the ground and waved his legs in the air while he laughed.

I took advantage of the time to examine my nails. I
really
needed a manicure.

He hooted with laughter.

‘Are you right?’ I finally said.

He wiped his eyes with his hands and sat up. ‘Did I hear you just agree to set him up with Gigantore?’

I grimaced. ‘Maybe.’

He lay back down and kicked his heels in the air while he giggled. ‘You gotta let me come,’ he begged. ‘I want to be there to see the look on her face. I mean that guy is freaky.’

I looked down at my little side-kick. Oh hell. If
he
thought the albino was freaky, I was in even bigger trouble than I thought.

***

Billy raised an eyebrow at me as I slid open the door from the pool area, but said nothing. Oh goody. Nick hadn’t alerted him to my desperate chase.

Matt, Tara and Mum were up to the negotiations part of the deal.

‘Absolutely not,’ Mum said. ‘Think of it as a wedding gift.’

‘But you hardly know us,’ Matt said.

‘And your
voice
.’ Tara said the word ‘voice’ reverently.

I surmised that Mum had wowed them.

I wasn’t really paying attention because something had occurred to me during the walk back to the hotel. We were now further from convincing the FBI Boris was here than we had been.

If the albino wasn’t an operative then all we had to go on was my word. Had I really seen Boris? Suddenly, I was besieged by self-doubt.

I thought about the face I had seen through cucumber-clogged eyes. Had it really had pointy teeth? Or had I conjured it up in a paranoid mind?

And then I remembered the voice. I would
never
forget that voice. So, yes, he was here. And we still needed hard evidence. I let out the breath I had been holding.

‘What’s up?’ Billy had sidled up beside me during my moment of introspection.

‘Martine’s going to kill me.’ I sighed. Now, if I had set her up with Alex, well, that would be another thing entirely. Maybe I should work on that.

‘Did you set all her wigs on fire?’

I snorted softly and looked over at him. ‘You know that vampire?’

He nodded.

‘Well,’ I pulled a face at him, ‘turns out he’s not Russian.’

He grasped my upper arm and dragged me toward the door to the pool area. When we were beyond earshot he said, ‘What has that got to do with Martine?’

‘I kind of set them up.’ I shrugged my shoulders, relieved when a grin rather than a grimace lit up his face.

‘Constable Smith,’ he said. ‘Please start from the beginning of this fascinating story.’

‘It’s Probationary Constable,’ I mumbled to the floor. When his grip didn’t let up I said, ‘Oh fine. About ten minutes ago he perpetrated the area through the northern gate. I may have chased him and during questioning found out he was an Australian, albino tourist.’

He let go of me and squeezed the bridge of his nose. ‘Let me get this straight,’ he said. ‘While I have been enjoying listening to your Mother sing, you have chased down and interrogated a potential member of the Russian Mafia.’

‘I’ve already heard Mum sing.’

He glared at me.

‘Okay, fine. Yes. That’s exactly what happened. Nick was there.’ I spun around but Nick was nowhere to be seen. Coward.

‘What would you have done if he
was
part of the mob?’

‘Sat on him until you got there.’

There was more of that nose squeezing. Maybe he was getting a cold.

‘Have I ruined everything?’ I said in my best little-girl voice.

It worked and I was rewarded with a half-smile and shake of his head. ‘We are still exactly where we were.’

‘We need hard evidence.’

‘Exactly. Although I’ve got to tell you, I’m looking forward to watching this guy try to chat up Martine.’

I gave him my biggest smile. ‘It will make the pain worthwhile.’

***

‘I need to go dress shopping,’ I said to Martine. Of course what I had meant to say was, ‘I need to tell you something,’ but there would be plenty of time for that during the dress shopping.

‘I think you just uttered my favourite words.’ She jumped into the front of the cart and then looked suspiciously over her shoulder at Nick. ‘What, no fight for the front?’

He smiled and put his hands behind his head. ‘It’s all yours.’

I pulled the cart out from the front of her hotel and headed for Tall Poppies.

‘Well,’ she said, ‘it’s nice to see that you have recovered your gentlemanly skills.’

‘Oh I have indeed. Chanel, tell her about the other gentleman you…’

‘Oh look,’ I interjected, ‘a rabbit.’

‘Really?’ Martine peered out the side of the cart. ‘I thought rabbits were nocturnal.’

I flashed a quick look over my shoulder at Nick and mouthed, ‘Shut up,’ at him. I was rewarded with a magnificent view of all the teeth on his denture.

We were silent as we whizzed past the site of the buggy bomb and pulled into a spot out the front of Tall Poppies.

‘Tara said I needed to wear something sexy tonight,’ I said to Martine.

‘Oh really,’ Nick said, ‘is she trying to
set you up
with somebody?’

He was like an annoying insect. Always hanging around and buzzing when you least wanted it.

‘Sexy,’ Martine said. ‘Excellent.’ She brushed her hands together and then marched into the shop, a woman on a mission.

Tara had been right. Tall Poppies had some excellent stock. Most of it sparkled in one way or another. Sequins, glitter, metallic prints. I moved to the back corner of the shop in my bid to get away from Nick.

‘What time do we have to be out?’ Martine asked.

‘Six.’ I ignored Nick’s snort. The dinner, which Tara had kindly invited Martine to as well, didn’t start till seven-thirty.

‘That doesn’t give us much time.’ She shot me a disapproving look. ‘I mean honestly Chanel, how are we meant to find you a dress and get our hair done in that time?’

I rolled my eyes. I was sure
her
hair was already done. I was just going to let mine down and hope for the best.

‘Here.’ She lifted a dress triumphantly into the air. ‘This is it. Oh Chanel, you
have
to try this on. With your new hair colour this will look amazing.’

It was black and sparkly and cut so low I wasn’t sure if what I was looking at was the back or the front.

‘I’ll fall out of it,’ I said.

‘Nah ahh.’ She shook her head and marched to the front of the store. ‘You need this.’ She plucked a packet off the counter and held it up. ‘It’ll stick your dress to your skin.’

The storekeeper had been keeping a low profile but now she said, ‘Oh yes. That tape is miraculous.’

‘Here.’ Martine shook the hanger at me.

‘Okay, okay,’ I said,’ taking it from her. ‘If it makes you happy.’

Nick opened his mouth, but before he could say anything I held my hand up with the palm facing out and hissed, ‘Later.’ Then, hoping he would behave himself, I darted into the dressing room.

I wiggled into the dress and viewed myself in the mirror. It was sexy all right. It clung and it plunged and it revealed all the right things. I jumped up and down a few times and mimicked running on the spot. It was comfortable and it didn’t creep up my thighs. It was perfect. Correction – it would
be
perfect with the magic tape.

‘I’ll take it,’ I said as I exited the change rooms.

‘What? I don’t even get to see it?’ Martine crossed her arms and stared at me.

‘Not till tonight.’ Hopefully it would take her mind off her date.

‘About tonight…,’ Nick said.

I gave him my best death-stare and he pretended to lock his lips and throw away the key. If
only
.

‘Well.’ Martine looked at her wrist watch. ‘Maybe you
will
have time to do your hair.’

I hoped so. I was going to take this dress and…I looked at the price tag and gasped. And I was going to put it right back on the rack and wear something already in my wardrobe.

‘Here.’ Martine took it from my hand and flounced towards the front of the shop.

‘No,’ I squawked. ‘I can’t….’

She placed it on the counter and said, ‘Consider it a present.’

‘For what?’

‘For being the best friend a girl could have.’

Nick let out a chortle as I smacked myself in the head. ‘Wait,’ I said. ‘I set you up.’

A confused look crossed her face. ‘You mean…you’re
not
my friend?’

‘No. I mean, yes. I mean…Oh
you
be the judge.’ I took a deep breath and dragged her back down to the change room beyond the hearing of the shop assistant. ‘I organised a date for you this evening.’

Her face broke into a grin. ‘With Mr Tall-Muscled-and-Bronzed?’

‘Try tall, white and skinny.’ Nick, like the annoying squirt he was, had followed us to the back of the shop.

‘Oh.’ Her eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms across her chest.

‘Shut up Nick.’ I waved a hand at him. He was almost on the floor again. ‘I had to.’ My voice took on a pleading quality. ‘It was either that or possibly blow my cover.’

She tapped one foot on the floor.

‘It’s only a drink.’

‘Just one drink?’

I nodded.

‘And let me get this straight. If I do this, I will be doing my country a favour?’

‘Martine.’ I grasped her hands with mine. ‘You will be doing the
world
a favour.’

‘Well then.’ She dusted her hands together. ‘Why didn’t you just say so?’ She marched back to the counter and slapped her credit card down. ‘And we’ll take these too.’ She picked a pair of dangly earrings off a stand and put them with the dress.

Disappointment masked Nick’s face for a few seconds before his smile broadened again.

‘What?’ I didn’t like it when he looked so happy.

‘I still get to see the look on her face when she meets this guy,’ he said.

‘Whatever knocks your socks off.’ I was struggling with my guilt over letting Martine pay for the dress. I knew I shouldn’t have. But it was so pretty.

And I really wanted Billy to see me in it.

Even though I hadn’t said it out loud, I slammed a hand over my mouth. Thoughts like that could go away until after Harry told him.
If
Harry told him.

Martine handed me the paper bag and Nick pushed open the door to the shop. I followed the sound of him while I gazed at my dress nestled into its bower of tissue paper.

‘Thank you.’ I reached out and squeezed Martine’s hand, and
that
was when Boris Tolokonsky jumped out from behind a bush. He waved a knife as he ran at us.

I let out a squeak as Nick said, ‘Holy shit,’ and Martine took off in a sprint towards the buggy. Her reflexes were always better than mine, but I wasn’t far behind her this time. What surprised me was how fast Nick could run on those little legs of his when he had to.

Martine had the buggy started by the time I jumped in the front.

‘Nick,’ I screamed. Boris was only a few metres behind him.

‘Go,’ he yelled waving an arm at us.

‘Not without you.’ He may have been a little pain in the arse, but he was
my
little pain in the arse and I wasn’t leaving him behind.

Martine backed up the cart and faced it up the hill, hitting the accelerator as soon as Nick jumped in the back. I would like to say that we roared away from Boris, but sadly, the best the cart could manage seemed to be the same as Boris’s top speed. And that was
before
we hit the hill.

‘Aghhhhhh,’ Nick yelled as Boris’s free hand clamped onto the back of the buggy. He slashed at Nick with the knife, narrowly missing as Nick dodged to the side.