Authors: Ruth Cardello
“I’ll meet you at my barn after dinner.”
“For?”
“Jace is exercising one of my horses for me. Might be a good idea for you to come over and see it.”
Charles watched Tony cautiously. “Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?”
Tony pushed back his hat an inch and gave him a steady stare. “Sarah says Melanie loves you. I didn’t always appreciate the people around me, but Melanie has been on my ranch long enough that she’s like family. I won’t be the reason you fuck it up with her.”
“You say that like you know I’m going to.”
Tony shrugged and tugged the brim of his hat down again. He walked off and left Charles on the sidewalk, reflecting on the little he
had
said.
Melanie had a life in Fort Mavis. She had friends and family. It wouldn’t be easy to convince her to leave all that behind for him.
And is it right to?
Her son needs a father, not someone who doesn’t even know how to talk to him.
Can I be that man?
He frowned as he walked back into his hotel.
Life had been much easier before h
e’d
rediscovered his conscience.
Chapter Nineteen
M
elanie opened the door of her house the next morning and then stood there, gaping at the sight of Charles in jeans, a snug tan T-shirt, and cowboy boots.
She didn’t know if the outfit was his idea of a joke, but there was nothing funny about it. He looked good. Better than he should. The light material of the T-shirt accentuated his muscular chest. He removed his hat as he walked past her into her kitchen.
He hung his hat on the back of one of the chairs as she continued to stare at him wordlessly. He was gorgeous in his suit and tie, but dressed in more casual clothing he had a rugged look she wouldn’t have thought would seem to fit him as well as it did. “You loo
k . . .
”
“Ridiculous?”
“No, amazing.”
Charles smiled and traced her chin with his thumb, raising her face to his. He took a long, deep breath. “Why did you leave without saying good-bye? Why didn’t you answer any of my calls?”
Breaking free of him, Melanie turned away and hugged her arms around her middle. “I went to New York to find Jace’s father.”
“I know.”
His easy acceptance of her statement angered her. She didn’t know if she was strong enough to give him the explanation he awaited.
But he said he wants to marry me. He said he wants to know me. It’s time, then, to show him the real me.
“He passed away last year. I was too late.”
Charles pulled her backward and enveloped her in his embrace. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
Melanie pushed at his arms angrily but he didn’t release her. “Don’t be sorry for me. It’s Jace who will never have a father. It’s Jace I cheated because I was too afraid to do the right thing and tell his father about him.”
“You had your reasons.”
“That’s the thing—they weren’t good ones. I was angry with Todd, angry at the world, and I let how I felt rob something precious from Jace. I won’t do that again. I won’t take him away from everything he loves just because I want to be with you. I’ve hated myself for so long. Honestly,
I’d
rather be alone than feel like that again.”
Charles watched her quietly. They were different in many ways, but in their core they were more alike than either wanted to admit.
He said softly, “Come here.”
She walked slowly over to him. He buried his hand deep in the curls at the nape of her neck and said, “I’ve thought about you every night since we were together.”
“I’ve done the same. I started to call you a thousand times.”
“I thought you left me because of something I did. I thought I went too far our last night together.”
She looked up at him from beneath her long lashes and admitted, “No, I never thought I could like that, but every moment wa
s . . .
amazing.” Her cheeks warmed at her admission.
He pulled her to him, his arousal nudging against her stomach. He bent his head and claimed her mouth. “I love you in dresses,” he murmured and ran a hand beneath the loose hem of her dress and up the outsides of her thighs. He lifted her with one arm while removing her panties. “Barefoot and bare-assed. I’ve pictured you like this a hundred times since you left me. I think about you each night until I ache.”
Her hands instinctively sought his belt. “I know exactly what you mean.” She undid the top of his jeans and slid them and his boxers down his legs. He slipped out of them and his shoes, his thick cock already fully erect.
He stepped back and removed his shirt.
She pulled her dress over her head and stood before him breathing as heavily as he was.
He advanced again, walking her backward until she felt the cold of the Formica counter on her ass. Her lips parted in anticipation of his next kiss.
Her nipples puckered, eager for his caress.
Her pussy quivered as she wondered where he would start.
Melanie thought about how much pleasure sh
e’d
found in letting him take charge and decided it could be equally fun to try it herself. “Are you hot?”
He gave her a raw and sexual smile with just enough curl to it that she knew he knew her game.
“I am,” Charles said softly.
Melanie stepped away for a moment and took out a tray of ice from the freezer, then laid it beside her on the counter. She put a small ice cube in her mouth.
It instantly started to melt. She moved it around with her tongue, playing with it and absorbing the almost painful cold it delivered. He closed his mouth over hers, his tongue dancing with hers and the ice. Heat and cold. Skin and ice. The intensity of the sensation was unlike any sh
e’d
felt before. He buried his hands in her hair and held her there, thrusting his tongue deeper into her mouth, taking the cold of the ice into his. The only cool in her mouth was then from his tongue and she couldn’t get enough of it.
She dug her hands into his neck and held him as tightly as he was holding her. His rigid cock jerked against the inside of her thigh and she opened her legs wider to him, wet and ready. Yes, she knew all about aching for someone. Sh
e’d
awoken too many nights, still frustrated, after dreaming of being with him like this and not reaching climax in her dreams. Nothing she could do with her own hand rivaled how being with him felt.
She lifted her head and reached for another piece of ice. This time she trailed it down one side of his face and across his neck. Her mouth followed the wet path, her hot breath warming his skin between her touches. “Tell me what you want. Tell me everything,” she whispered into his ear.
“Take me in your mouth. Bite me, lick me, do anything you want, just don’t stop.”
He shuddered with pleasure as she ran the ice cube lower, tracing one side of his cock, which she then took deep within her mouth to warm it. He gripped the edge of the counter. Just as he was beginning to tighten for climax, he eased her off him and reached for his own piece of ice.
He trailed it along her collarbone and down the side of one of her breasts. He circled her puckered nipple with it, then laved the nipple with his tongue between gentle nips.
Ever so slowly, he moved the dwindling ice down her bare stomach. She arched backward and cold droplets fell on her shaven mound. He kissed a path between her breasts and down her stomach. Melanie held her breath.
Very lightly, he traced the inside of each thigh. Melanie closed her eyes and shivered from the sensation. In anticipation of his kiss, her clit was pulsing and her inner muscles were clenching and releasing.
He traced down the inside of her calves, his hot breath following, but he withheld the pleasure of his tongue. Her skin came alive wherever he trailed the ice, and she swore as her senses overloaded.
“Your turn. What do you want?” he growled. “Tell me.”
Melanie opened her eyes and looked down at him, hating that he was so fully in control, loving that he was so fully in control. “I want you to lick my clit. Shove those fingers inside me. Take me between your teeth and tease me like you do. Bury that thick tongue inside me while I imagine it’s your cock. Fuck me with your mouth.”
“Gladly,” he said and popped what was left of the ice cube into his mouth. He parted her lower lips with one hand and held the ice between his teeth, holding it to her clit while he pumped his cold fingers in and out of her.
He brought the ice deeper into his mouth and nipped at her clit, running his chilled tongue back and forth over it as sh
e’d
asked him to. The combination of his hot lips and the unexpected temperature of his tongue made what was already amazing new and unbelievably erotic.
She crested and came with a cry, loving how he twisted his fingers within her, prolonging her orgasm and sucking hotly on her while she shuddered against his mouth.
He sheathed himself in a condom and lifted her so she was pressed against the refrigerator. He entered her with one thrust; white heat almost blinded Melanie. She wrapped her legs around his waist, nipped his shoulder wildly, and spread herself for him in abandon. This was no longer a game or a challenge. This was animal mating that had them both grunting and slick with sweat.
She came first with a loud cry. He joined her, swearing as he did and knocking the ice tray over as he shifted to sit her once again on the counter.
When they came back to earth together, the only sound in the room was the two of them breathing heavily. He lowered her slowly to her feet, nuzzling her neck as he did.
Still proudly naked, he disposed of his condom, then walked over and pulled her into his arms, looping his hands behind the small of her back. He absently pushed her hair off one of her shoulders and bent to kiss the shoulder h
e’d
exposed. “What do you want to do today?”
Melanie sighed contently in his embrace. “Besides this?”
He chuckled. “It’s up to you. We don’t have to leave the kitchen.”
Melanie thought about it for a moment, then asked, “Would you like to see where I live?”
He buried his face in her hair. “
I’d
love to see whatever you want to show me.”
“Then get dressed, cowboy.” Melanie winked at him and threw his shirt at him. She picked up her dress off the floor and slipped it back over her head.
Moments later, they were outside with Jace’s dog barking and running circles around them. Melanie tried to catch him, but the pup darted and widened his circle. She rolled her eyes. “That’s Tibby. I don’t know why I agreed to him.”
Charles bent and offered his hand to the dog. Tibby sniffed it, then rubbed himself against Charles’s leg while Charles pet him affectionately. “Every boy should have a dog.”
Melanie watched the exchange with genuine surprise. “I wouldn’t have pegged you for someone who likes animals.”
Charles met her eyes over the dog. “There is a lot you don’t know about me.”
Melanie motioned for him to follow her. “I’m beginning to see that.”
He straightened and began to walk beside her. “What did I interrupt last night? Were you celebrating something?”
“I’m back in school. I’ll have my degree finished in one more semester.”
“That’s fantastic. You must be happy about that.”
“I am.”
“You’ll want to stay here to finish your classes.” He seemed to be mulling how that would affect his plans. His plans. Even after what they had shared back in her kitchen, Melanie knew that nothing had changed. Sex had never been their issue. She stopped and turned toward him.
“I’m not leaving Texas, Charles. I’m not moving to the city and you can’t convince me you want to stay here. Look around. Yo
u’d
be bored sick in a day. You don’t want kids and I have one. We’re all wrong for each other.”
“I’m not going back to New York without you.”
“You say that, Charles, and maybe you even believe it. But I’m getting more and more comfortable with facing reality head-on. If we had met before Todd, maybe we would have found a way to be together. But my life with Jace is here. And I can’t regret that because I can’t imagine, for one moment, not having him in my life.”
“I know I didn’t handle meeting Jace well.”
She waved a hand in the air desperately. “You don’t have to explain. I know about your brother drowning. I understand why being around Jace is difficult for you.”
His jaw tightened visibly. “So that’s it. You want me to just walk away and end this?”
“My son needs a father—someone who can love him as much as I do. Tell me, can you be that man?” She issued her last question as a challenge.
“Clearly, you’ve already determined that I couldn’t be.”
Melanie held out a hand toward him, then let it drop to her side. “I didn’t mean—”
“Didn’t you?” he asked while picking his hat up off the table. He settled it on his head with force, then walked to the door. “I don’t know much about love or how any of this is supposed to work, but I’m here and I’m trying. When you’re willing to say the same—call me. I’ll be in town until tomorrow. After that, I’m heading back.”
He slammed the door behind him and strode down the stairs toward his rental car. Before entering it, he took off his hat and threw it on the dirt driveway.
Chapter Twenty
L
ong after Charles had left, Melanie walked down the driveway and picked up the hat h
e’d
discarded. She brushed it off, then hugged it to her stomach.
Why is it that every time I feel like I’m doing the right thing, it turns out so wrong?
She knew that h
e’d
lost his brother and blamed himself for it. As soon as sh
e’d
voiced the question, sh
e’d
seen the memory of that day in his eyes and regret had ripped through her.
I didn’t mean it the way he took it. I was looking for reassurance—for him to say that of course he would love my son.
Not to imply that he couldn’t.
Melanie returned to the steps of her house and sat down, laying the hat beside her. She spoke aloud as if Charles were there to hear her. “I don’t want to feel bad about myself anymore. I don’t want to make you feel badly about who you are. I never meant to do that. I’m so tired of being wrong.” She looked down at his hat. “I’m sorry.”
“Mama, who are you talking to?” Jace bounded up the steps. The bus driver waved to Melanie from the end of the driveway before pulling away.
Melanie forced a smile. “Myself, I guess.”
“Guess what?” Jace asked as he plopped down beside her.
“What?”
“Miss Jeanine said it’s Friday and Friday is my favorite day. You know why?”
“Why?”
“No school Saturday and no school Sunday.”
“I thought you liked school.”
Jace shrugged. “I like recess.” He thought about it more and said, “And lunch.”
Melanie almost began a lecture, then stopped herself when she realized that the advice she was about to give sounded an awful lot like something her father would say. She wanted to be more like her parents, but perhaps not down to every detail. She winked at her son. “I believe those were my favorite subjects, too.”
Jace smiled up at her. “Math is fun, too, because sometimes the teacher lets us eat what we count. Brian ate his M&M’S before he counted them and Miss Jeanine made him count crayons the next time. He didn’t care. He ate the crayons.”
“Does Miss Jeanine know that?”
Jace shrugged. “His teeth were green.”
Looks like I’ll be calling someone’s teacher.
“You don’t eat the crayons, do you?”
“Not at school. Those are dirty.”
“Don’t eat them anywhere. Crayons aren’t good for you.”
“David said they are not topic, so it’s okay to eat them.”
“You mean
nontoxic
, and that doesn’t mean they are good for you. You’re going to make yourself sick if you keep eating them.” She shook a finger sternly at him, even though she thought his stubborn expression was hilarious. “If I catch you so much as nibbling on one, I’m throwing them all away, understood?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“And I’ll talk to David. He needs to explain to you what he meant by saying they were okay to eat.”
Jace shrugged. “Am I in trouble?”
Melanie sighed. “No. Not unless you’ve been eating the laundry, too. Why can’t I find half your socks?”
A wide grin spread across Jace’s face. “That’s Tibby. He eats them, then he poops them outside. It’s really gross.”
I do not need that image in my head.
In response to his mother’s silence, Jace added, “Maybe you should have David talk to him, too.”
Melanie looked down at her son and couldn’t keep a straight face when he continued to grin up at her. “Maybe I will,” she said and tickled him.
He rolled on the stair next to her, howling with laughter, then sat up and hugged her. Melanie hugged him back. Sh
e’d
made so many mistakes in her life, but she never had and never would consider Jace one of them.
She wasn’t sure what to do about Charles, but something h
e’d
said echoed in her thoughts: “I don’t know much about love or how any of this is supposed to work, but I’m here and I’m trying.”
Which just about sums up my parenting style.
“Which horse are you riding at Tony’s tonight?”
“Red Dusk.”
“Then w
e’d
better go get our chores done and get on over there.”
They stood and walked into the house together. Tibby whined a greeting at Jace and ran circles around him. As soon as they entered the kitchen, Melanie spotted the empty ice tray still on the counter beside the refrigerator. She hastily tossed it into the sink, quickly checking the room for any other evidence.
Forget about this morning.
Forget about him.
Some things aren’t meant to be.
Charles stood beside his sister while one of Carlton’s ranch hands saddled a horse for him. H
e’d
almost made it back to his hotel room before h
e’d
turned around and headed back. Giving up was not in his character.
Evaluate the obstacle. Study it. Destroy it.
In this particular case, the obstacle was Melanie’s belief that he didn’t care about her son. He could understand how sh
e’d
come to that conclusion, and once he acknowledged that to himself, he wasn’t angry anymore.
He was determined.
Sarah hopped in excitement beside him. Barely shoulder height to him, his irrepressible sister beamed a smile up at him. Sh
e’d
been trying to get him on a horse ever since she bought her own. “You’re really going to do this?”
“I’m getting on a horse, not jumping off a building. I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
“You might even like it.”
Charles sighed. “Doubtful. I don’t understand the lure. Motorcycles go faster and handle better. Cars provide better protection from the elements. People rode horses in the past because they had to. There wasn’t an alternative. I can’t think of a sane reason why anyone would need to be on one anymore.”
“For the same reason people create art—the sheer pleasure of it. It’s all about the experience. Riding them isn’t like driving a vehicle. Cars don’t care about you. They don’t have good days or bad days.”
“
I’d
say that’s a good thing.”
“Really? Isn’t life without a challenge boring? Riding a horse is like starting a relationship. You have to listen to each other and build trust. Don’t be disappointed if your first ride isn’t the best. Relationships don’t happen in a day.”
One thing his sister had never been was subtle. “Why do I feel that this is leading into a lecture I don’t want to hear?”
She stuffed her hands into the front pockets of her jeans and swayed back and forth. “I saw your car at Melanie’s house today.”
Charles watched a ranch hand saddle and bridle what looked like a tame enough horse. He wasn’t ready to discuss his relationship, or lack of one, with anyone yet.
Drop it.
“And since she’s not here with you now, I was concerned that—”
“Sarah—”
“I know you don’t want to talk about it,” she said but continued anyway. “I just want you to be happy. Melanie is a lot like you. She has a tough exterior, but beneath that she’s also a big softie.
Melanie fit that description, but it wasn’t how Charles saw himself. Raising one brow, Charles looked down at his sister. “That’s how you see me?”
Sarah grinned. “Yep. I’m on to you now. I used to think you only called and used that dictator tone because you thought you were smarter than me. It always drove me nuts. But I’ve realized that it’s the only way you know how to express that you love me. You locked everything up inside, Charlie. Just like I did. I know how hard it is to let go of the past, but you have to. It’s time. It doesn’t have to control you anymore. Texas freed me. I found myself here. I’m finally happy. I want that for you.”
“I’m happy.”
“Are you?”
Charles didn’t want to lie twice. “I will be once I get back to New York.”
“With or without Melanie?”
“With. She and Jace are coming back with me.”
Sarah chewed her lip. “It’s not going to be easy, Charlie. They love it here. Do you have to make them choose?”
“My life is in New York.”
“Your life is wherever you find happiness, Charlie. I’ve never seen you fail at anything. If you want to be here, even part-time, you can be. There is always a way if you want something badly enough.”
A compromise. Such a simple solution h
e’d
failed to consider. He realized that it didn’t have to be all or nothing as h
e’d
laid it out for Melanie. H
e’d
succeeded at less likely scenarios. He would find a way to make this one work. In an uncharacteristically affectionate move, Charles hugged his sister and was rewarded with a bone-crushing hug in return. Behind her, he saw the ranch hand trying to contain his amusement while waiting with horse in hand.
Charles stepped away from his sister. “Bring on the stallion.”
The young man with the horse drawled, “He’s gelded and he’s twenty-seven. My grandma could ride him and she uses a walker.”
Nothing was going to diminish the euphoria Charles felt now that he had a solution he could implement. Not even a young cowboy who was clearly amused by the idea of Charles attempting anything equine related. Luckily, Charles didn’t waste much energy on what most people thought of him. He looked the aged horse in the eye and joked, “I believe we’ve both been insulted.”
Tony spoke behind him. “I didn’t think yo
u’d
show up.”
With one hand patting the horse’s neck, Charles turned to his future brother-in-law. “How could I miss the chance to try your finest steed?”
Tony tipped his head down, but Charles saw the smile he hadn’t concealed in time. “I considered something livelier, but this is your first lesson and Sarah would miss you if you got yourself killed.”
“Just tell me how to ride the damn thing,” Charles said.
Tony gave Charles basic instructions on how to mount and how to hold the reins. He led him through simple cues to get the horse to move and stop. Then he said, “Most important thing to remember is that every part of your body is communicating something to the horse. Today you’re on one that’s smart enough to ignore most of the bullshit that comes out of you. Another horse might get nervous right along with you, just for tensing up your legs. Keep your hands light and your legs lighter. He knows what to do. You’re the one learning.”
Charles bit back the first retort that came in his head. He figured Tony was trying to get a rise out of him, but the day ahead was too important. It wasn’t about learning to ride and they both knew it. It was just as Sarah had said. If he wanted Melanie, he would have to find a way to fit into her world just as he was asking her to fit into his.
Riding this horse was about building relationships. If Sarah could find something good on that ranch, then Charles was determined to, also.
Tony stood on the inside of the paddock, but off to one side. Charles had the feeling that although he was leaning back against the railing, Tony would intervene quickly if the ride took a bad turn. It made Charles see him in a new light.
Jace trotted up beside him on a much younger horse. “You do ride,” he said quietly.
“If by riding you mean that I haven’t fallen off yet, then yes,” Charles said with some self-deprecating humor.
Charles searched the perimeter of the large fenced riding ring. There she was, the woman h
e’d
tried to forget and now was willing to do anything to win.
Even ride a damn horse.
As if she could read his thoughts, Melanie smiled and Charles nearly walked his horse into the fence. In all the world, there was not a more beautiful woman.
Jace kept pace beside him and looked him over critically. “First time?”
In love? Yes.
Charles gripped the horn of the saddle tighter as the realization of what h
e’d
just admitted to himself sank in
. I’m in love with Melanie.
He looked at the young boy on the horse beside him—really looked at him for the first time. He had the same serious expression in his eyes that Melanie often did. The same measured stare. Although the boy was small, he rode with confidence.
“On a horse?” Charles asked, then answered before waiting for Jace to respond. “How can you tell?”
“You’re holding on to the horn. Everybody does that when they start. I did it when I was four, but now I’m five. Five-year-olds don’t need to hold on.”
Charles let his hand drop from the saddle horn. He hadn’t realized h
e’d
been clinging to the saddle. “It’s a lot to learn. Did Tony teach you to ride?”
Jace scratched the hair on the back of his neck as he considered the question. “I don’t know. I think I was born riding. But Tony shows me how to do it better. Is he teaching you?”
Charles glanced across the ring at the man who was still watching him silently while still leaning back against the railing. H
e’d
said nothing since Charles had walked off on the horse, and he didn’t look as if he was preparing to say much more. “You could say that.”
“You’re lucky. People come here all the time asking Tony to teach them stuff and he doesn’t say yes much. He doesn’t like many people.”
“Really?” Charles asked and hid a smile. “I wouldn’t have guessed that.”
Jace’s chest puffed up with pride. “I’m good with horses, just like he is.” He demonstrated a few moves on his horse, then fell into step beside Charles again.
Charles wasn’t just being polite when he complimented Jace. The boy rode with a skill Charles doubted h
e’d
acquire no matter how many hours he forced himself into a saddle. Jace could stop his horse without using the reins and turn him the same way. It was something to admire, and Charles finally understood why trotting a horse through Central Park would not be enough for Jace.
“Mama said it’s okay if you don’t know how to fish. She said you don’t have a place to do it in the city.” His next words stole Charles’s heart. “I could teach you, if yo
u’d
like.”
Charles cleared his throat. “
I’d
like that. I used to fish when I was your age.”