Authors: H. A. Rhoades
I
pulled
out of it eventually,
took
up
yoga
and
regular
meditation,
W
eaning
off
of
all
drugs.
I got to the point that I wouldn't take anything,
not
even
simple pain killers. Nothing
helped the pain
anyway.
When
the
human
nervous
system
goes
haywire
there
is
no
relief,
it
simply
has
to
heal
itself
and
it
takes
time,
patience,
and
faith. The strange sensation of continuous fear overcomes you. I became terrified to move because of the pain. Afraid to be alone inside of my own mind. Which I found to be the strangest reaction considering it is quite impossible to have another person physically inside your mind to comfort you.
Recovery
was
long and
in
the
couple
of
years
following,
many
things
that
would
make
life
stressful
continued
to
happen.
Amanda
suggested
moving
as
a
result
of
my
breakdown
and
shortly
after,
she
left
me
because
of
my declining
condition.
My health was failing rapidly as the drugs took over.
The
following
year
was
full
of
family
tragedy,
divorce,
child
custody
battles,
then
ultimately
an
economic
shutdown
and
the
loss
of
my
job.
Losing my job
was
Okay though, and almost a relief.
I
had
fought
so
hard
not
to
die,
by
now
I had detoxed and
was
calming down so losing a job seemed almost trivial.
I
had
an
understanding
that
my
life
was
a
mess
and
I
could
only
deal
with
one
catastrophe
at
a
time.
So
all
new
problems
just
had
to
wait
for
their
turn
at
me
.
In
the
mean
time
I
began
building
a
better
relationship
with
my
kids,
Amanda
was
out
of
my
life
for
the
most
part
and
subsequently
so
was
most
of
the
daily
stress.
I
began
to
fall
in
love
with
a
beautiful
younger
woman
who
for
some
ridiculous
reason
found
me
appealing.
I was writing
and
doing
research,
and
eventually
finished
my
PhD.
Things
were beginning to
look
good
,
and
I
began
to
believe
the
future
was
going
to
be
bright.
But
even
though
I
had
come
to
this
realization,
I was in a small minority,
much
of
the
American
population
was
spinning
out
of
control, and
for
much
of
the
same
reason
that
had prompted my breakdown. I had decided that this was just the way life was, but I had to almost die to come to that conclusion.
3
.
-Spiral-
Many
more
jobs
fell
over the next two years
and
people
began
to
get
desperate.
D
rug
usage
accelerated
as
families
were
beginning
to
fall
apart.
T
here
were
even
incidents
of
fathers
losing
their
jobs,
returning
home
and
slaughtering
their
families.
Employees
were
losing
their
jobs
and
returning
to
offices
with
loaded
weapons.
Many
just
killed
themselves
as
a
shadow
of
dread
began
to
fall
over
the
country.
I had become
oblivious
to
the
failing
of
our system, which was rapidly spreading across the
United States
. I
found
work
at
a
small
research
facility
tucked
away
in
the
mountains,
I had my
kids
close
by, I was involved with a beautiful little research assistant. Even though the rest of the world was beginning to spin out of control, my life was improving dramatically so I didn't care what was happening to someone else.
The
damage
to
the
population
now
was
too
far
reaching
for
anyone
to
even
rationalize
a
solution.
People
were
beginning
to
have
difficulty
thinking
outside
their
immediate world
and
any
suggestion
from
an
outside
source
that
they
needed
to
regain
control
of
themselves
was
rejected,
sometimes
violently.
Gradually,
people
stopped
interacting
with
each other
in
a
civilized
manner,
some
civil
unrest
would
pop
up
here
and
there.
Riots erupted everywhere,
first
over
political
or
civil
issues,
but
later
over
what
seemed
like
petty
differences.
Any
reason
to
beat
the
crap
out
of
your
neighbor
seemed
to
be
justified by
most people. As an answer to the growing violence,
s
omeone
made
a poor judgment call,
a poor
decision
that
would
inevitably
effect
all
of
mankind.
No
one
knew
for
sure
if a new drug company, Fallecimiento LLC. Initiated the contamination
or
whether
it
was
an
official
action
by the Government to calm the population
.
T
he
water
supply
feeding
Los Angeles
was contaminated with a large dose of U.G.L.Y over the course of a week.
Los Angeles
was
where
much of the civil
unrest
on the west coast was happening and it
was
growing
at an
alarming
rate.
It
was
discovered in the months following
the
first
wave
that
the
water
contamination
was
due to high levels of
U.G.L.Y.
My initial
thought
was
that
the
drug
company
had
decided
to
prove
the
effectiveness
of
their
drug
by forcing it on the population of the city without them knowing what was happening.
They
would
administer
the
drug
to a large target group
and
within
days
order
would
be
restored. This act would prove the viability of the drug and inevitably approval would follow.
Better
to
ask
forgiveness
than
to
ask
permission. After all, the city had already set a precedent with the adding of fluoride to city water. How different could this act be?
I, of course, was speculating. In reflection it seems intentional contamination would have been a little too vulgar an act for a drug company, too villainous. I
t
could
have
just
as
easily
been
stolen
and
dumped
as
a
means
of
disposing
of
it. If it proved to be an intentional means of calming the people out of compassion then it would lend truth to the saying “The road to hell is paved with good intentions” and unfortunately it proves to be true too often. I
nevitably it didn't matter, the reason behind the contamination was never understood
.