Ultimate Justice (12 page)

He walked nervously into the kitchen, head lowered.

“Hi Shaun,” said Kakko cheerily. His nan also looked as if she had had a good night. His mother was humming a tune over preparing some batter to stand for the evening meal. Bandi was reading a paper.

“Hi,” muttered Shaun. “Nan, sorry about yesterday.”

“Oh, don't worry about that. Better out than in. Do you want some cereal?”

Had he imagined what had happened? Shaun was confused.

Kakko smiled at him.

“Kakko,” whispered Shaun sitting next to her at the table, “I made a fool of myself last night. I'm sorry.”

“No problem. Someone had to do it.”

“It isn't just about what happened on the pitch…”

“No. You made us see the elephant in the room and now we can talk about it.”

“Elephant?”

“Big, grey animal on Planet Earth One.”

“I know what an elephant is. But if there were an elephant here we'd see it.”

“Exactly. But we were trying to ignore it. It's a saying Dad came up with. It means avoiding the thing we are all aware of but don't want to talk about.”

Shaun began, “What…?” Then, “Grandma?”

“Got it. But you led us to understand that. We all felt cheated… the whole thing about Grandma going so suddenly didn't seem fair.”

“But that's the way it is,” said Jalli coming over. “And if being angry helps then we need to be angry. Last night we all got angry. It wasn't with you, or that idiot of a cheating football player. So we had a night of complaining.”

“To whom?”

“Oh, God of course!”

“But He didn't… didn't kill Grandma.”

“Didn't He? In Grandma's case He might not have sent a thunderbolt from heaven, but it is God who has made us, taught us to love and then rips us apart when people die. Is that fair?”

“Well, if you put it like that, no. So you all got angry with God?”

“Last night after you had gone to your room we said everything we had been bottling up, sometimes for years. Grandma had helped us do that with her patience. Jack and I, we thought we had got over that monster in Wanulka, but we hadn't. We called it the ‘park thing' if we mentioned it at all, but we avoided it most of the time. I hate that bastard, and I hated God for letting it happen. Last night you got into trouble for your bad language. After you had gone I used all those words and more, and so did your dad …”

“And me,” said Nan.

“Totally shocked,” smiled Kakko slurping on her cereal.

“But we got it all out!” stated Jalli firmly.

“So it's God's fault?”

“Partly. That rapist has to take some of the blame. We all have to take our share. But, yes, God has to take His bit too.”

“So does that mean we can't worship Him anymore?”

“No, quite the opposite,” said Jalli. “You see, God is big enough to take the blame. Ever since He made us He has worked to get things right. He has not walked away. He has never asked to be given five stars for His creation. He wants justice and knows that that applies to Him as well. It is He who has also created love, justice and perfect goodness and is subject to those too.”

“But God doesn't suffer. God doesn't have to do without Grandma, or put up with evil people. He's in heaven.”

“But, he isn't just in heaven,” said Kakko.

“If you love someone, where does your heart belong?” asked Jalli.

“With the one you love,” answered Shaun.

“And if the one you love suffers… what then?”

“Then it hurts.”

“Sometimes more than the one who suffers.”

“So if God loves us, He suffers too?”

“All the time,” said Kakko.

“So we get cross with Him, but all the time He is suffering as much as we are. And He has all the universe, perhaps universes, shouting at Him and He hurts for all of them too. Who would be God? Someone worthy of our praise! Last night we started by blaming Him and ended up by praising Him.”

“And you know what?” said Nan. “I've never felt so blessed. We brought out all the elephants in the room and some of the skeletons in the cupboards too.”

“Skeletons?” Shaun was again confused.

“Same as elephants only they're inside us. Hidden in secret compartments in our heads,” explained Kakko, who had only just learned what that meant herself.

“Right. So what I did last night…”

“Was the catalyst. So don't be sorry.”

Just then Shaun's phone vibrated in his pocket.

“It's from the coach. I'm in next week's match. He wants me in for extra training. Am I free tomorrow?”

“Told you you were good,” said Bandi. The first thing he had said all morning.

“Tam,” yelled the climbing coach, “red ones only! Ignore the blue ones, I want you to be more ambitious. You can do it! That's it, swing your right leg, let go on the left and propel yourself across.” Tam resolved to attempt what was required; he had determination, but lacked confidence. It was not really about fear for his life – his
life
did not depend on him making this leap because he was suspended on a rope and knew that he could not fall. And in any case he was not that high up and the mats below him at the foot of the climbing wall in the gym were thick and soft. But on the bench opposite watching him were the other members of the club and, in particular, Kakko. He was determined to impress her… although in his heart of hearts he doubted if he ever would – but a devoted suitor like him would never admit that to himself.

Tam swung his right leg as instructed and grabbed for the red hold. He managed to touch it but it slid from his grasp and he swung out into empty space… again. Watching from below, Kakko sighed. He was such a wimp. He
could
do it, she was sure. The problem was that he didn't believe in himself enough.

Kakko had joined the climbing club six months before and had made rapid progress.
She
put a smile on the coach's face.
She
was the star of the Sports Centre and coach had already spoken to her about entering competitions with other centres. But Tam was different. He had struggled from the beginning, even with the simplest yellow holds. When the blue eventually came within his ability he just about managed, but the red level was defeating him. In truth it was only his devotion to Kakko that kept him at it. But unless he managed to make some better progress he was not going to impress; yet to give up would leave him no hope at all. He must succeed, he told himself.

Tam and Kakko had met in high school and he had always admired her. He thought it a privilege at times that she even condescended to talk to him. They had been the only ones from Woodglade, so they had got to travel to and from home on the bus together and they became friends. But that was as far as it had gone. At sixteen, Kakko had left school for the Agricultural Vocational Institute, and the following year Tam went to study law in the university. For longer than he dared admit, he would have liked it to have been more than just a friendship between neighbours. Tam didn't disabuse his male mates if they thought he and Kakko were dating, but in truth he had nothing to show for it. Kakko was not unaware of his interest of course, but had decided to keep it low key. He was a good friend and she didn't want to spoil that – she liked him – so she had just ignored his subtle advances. When Kakko told him she was going to see if she could join the climbing club, Tam suggested he came too. Kakko had not been enthusiastic about it, but she couldn't stop him if he wanted to (after all Joh was a free world she told herself) but she didn't go out of her way to encourage him. Now his failure to make progress on the walls confirmed her belief that even though he was quite attractive in some ways, he was a wimp. She was adventurous and daring, while Tam was naturally rather cautious, a quality that she saw as weakness.

Tam began again at the wall, determined to get to the top using only the red holds. He studied the wall carefully and knew where he wanted to go, but achieving it was another matter. Smothering chalk on his hands he went for it, but this time failed even before he got to the most challenging part. His strength was failing; he would have to rest.

In the next quarter of an hour, Tam watched Kakko hanging upside down under an overhang, at times only having two holds under control, and he cheered with everyone else as she hauled herself over the ledge and quickly attained the top.

“OK folks, that will do for this evening,” announced the coach. Tam was not going to get another chance at the red holds. He was disappointed, but secretly relieved.

“Don't forget,” continued the coach, “those of you who are coming on the abseiling trip on Saturday, the bus is leaving Woodglade at 6 a.m. Don't come here, the centre will not be open and there is no early public transport. Chak, Zebby and Tionga, I will pick you up from your homes in my car and leave it in Woodglade. Kakko, Pol and Tam (you are joining us, Tam?) you will be outside White Gates Cottage, when?”

“6 a.m.,” returned Pol.

“Cate and Girly be outside your house at 6.10 a.m. Marvellous. See you Saturday. The weather forecast is good but bring something a bit warm… and climbing boots of course.”

Voices echoed around the centre as the young people all began talking and laughing at once. They were excited about the abseiling because it was good to be outdoors, up on the ridge above the coastal plain where they lived.

“Hey, you two,” the coach called to Kakko and Tam, as they packed their kit. “Will you take a bag of tackle with you and some rope ready for Saturday? I'll have a struggle getting everything in my small car with three other people and their kit. It will help enormously. It's a bit heavy but it'll help strengthen those arms, eh, Tam!”

Tam smiled away the jibe. It didn't do any good getting cross. He shouldered a hank of rope and took one handle of the bag filled with abseiling equipment. Kakko took more rope and the other handle. Between them it was not more than a bit awkward and they made their way successfully to the bus stop.

“A bit of good teamwork,” suggested Tam. “On Saturday when I fall you can come and rescue me.”

“Don't talk like that, Tam! It's all in the mind – that's what's wrong with you.”

***

When they got off the bus there wasn't far to walk to White Gates Cottage. But right opposite the gate, in the gathering dusk, Kakko spotted something strange. She turned and, the bag being between them, Tam turned with her. Kakko stared.

“What are you looking at?” asked Tam.

“There. Just there. The hedge seems to bulge. See? It's as if it is folded over on itself, and in the middle of it there is a shiny white gate!”

“Yeah, I see it. In the hedge. A strange white gate. And above it there is a kind of fold in the whole world!”

“Exactly.” Kakko turned and looked at Tam, staring in front of him.

“It's strange,” Tam closed his eyes, rubbed them and looked down. Then back up to the hedge. “It isn't an illusion is it?” he whispered. “I am sure it's real… you can see it too, so it is not just my imagination.”

“I can see it, and I know what it is.”

“What?”

“It's a portal: a door into another world. It's the way we go to other places with my mum and dad. This is the same thing.”

“What should we do?”

“Go through the gate, of course. We are being summoned. We are needed in the world beyond.”

“We?”

“Yes, we. Strange as it may seem, you are being called too.”

“We can't go anywhere now. We're expected home.”

“Oh, they'll understand. At least, my family will. We have to go when we are asked to.” And with that Kakko slipped her phone out of her jeans' pocket and called home, even if it was only a few metres away. “Hi, Mum, we've seen a white gate just outside the cottage… we have to go through it… but,
Mum
, you
know
we can't wait… well, you can come out and see if you can see it and if you can you can join us. We're going now, OK…? OK… Oh, and Tam – he's seeing it too. Can you call his family? Bye Mum!”

“Wow. I couldn't talk to my parents like that,” said Tam.

“I'm not being rude. What's wrong with being assertive? After all I
am
eighteen.”

“My mum says you're headstrong and tells me to be careful.”

“That's exactly what's wrong with you. You're
too
careful. You'll never achieve anything without calculated risks.”

“But Mum worries that you don't calculate enough.”

“Mums are like that. But they have to let their kids go. Now, are you coming or what?”

Jalli arrived just in time to see Tam's trailing leg disappearing through the hedge. There was no doubt they had gone. But she herself saw no white gate – the hedge was as solid as it had always been. The only reason she had seen anything at all was because Tam had been hesitant and had stood for a while in the gate and Kakko had had to yank him through with the handle of the bag they were both holding. The fact was, Kakko was determined to get through the white gate before her mother arrived. And she was a bit sore at being called headstrong by Tam's parents, which made her even more determined to be independent. Her nan sometimes said things like, ‘Nothing ventured, nothing gained' and ‘the one who hesitates is lost'. These expressions, Kakko told herself, were apt, and justified her actions. Too many people missed out on things because they were too slow, or too nervous. People's insistence that they approach life cautiously could be dangerous, she believed. Even her parents, who had been noted for their adventures in the past, had seemingly lost their willingness to really ‘go for it' and pondered things too much.

***

In their new world, Kakko and Tam found themselves surrounded on three sides by trees, but in front of them was a narrow track which they followed. Here, it seemed, it was daytime. Emerging from the trees they realised they were on a cliff-top path with a beautiful view across an ocean. The sky above the horizon was almost indistinguishable from the sea below it. In the middle distance the water became a richer, deeper blue. Inshore, they could see white surf rise and fall where rocks broke through the waves. The sun was hot and the air was full of the rich scents given off by the bushes mixed with the tang of salt from the sea and the fine spicy dust of the path. At first, the only other sounds they were aware of were those of the sea-birds screaming as they hovered on the thermals rising up the cliff, but they became quickly conscious that among the screams of the birds were those of a woman.

They dropped the bag and ran in the direction of the sound. A group of people had gathered at the top of the cliff and were peering over the edge.

“My son, my son!” the woman was shouting. “My son ran too near the edge and he's disappeared! Ron! Ron!” she called again. But below all was silent.

“There! There he is!” yelled one of the men. “He is there on that small ledge. He is not all the way down… he doesn't seem to be moving.”

Kakko approached. “We have ropes and equipment. Let me go down to him. Tam let me have your rope, and fetch a metal descender needed for abseiling. You know the one.” Tam moved to obey without question – he was still taking all this in. He went back up the track and searched in the bag among the collection of abseiling tackle for what looked to be the right piece of equipment. He had never been abseiling before, but he knew what Kakko was looking for. He reappeared hoping he had the right thing and was relieved to see her happy with what he brought her. Kakko arranged the descender so that it locked when she slid the rope through it. This would enable her to descend on the rope a bit at a time safely. She looped Tam's rope around a small tree close to the edge of the cliff and pulled. It seemed good. Then, using a bowline knot, she tied one end of the rope around her waist and turned her back to the void and leaned back, allowing her weight to tighten the rope. She carefully checked that her own hank of rope was secure around her shoulders. Kakko looked the super heroine; her long dark brown hair tied in a ponytail blew upwards. “I am going to tie my rope around the child,” she explained, and when I am back we can pull him up.” She let out a little more rope and took a step down the cliff. Step-by-step she descended the cliff, getting ever closer to the child.

Then, as Tam watched Kakko making her steady way down, the rope made a sudden jerk. He heard a gasp from the onlookers. The roots of the small tree to which Kakko had secured the rope were coming away from the rocky cliff-top and it began to lean over the cliff edge. Kakko's weight was tugging it out of the insecure soil. Tam shouted to Kakko, but at that same moment the tree and the surrounding soil and rocks seemed to leap into the air and then hurtle down the cliff. Kakko fell some four metres onto the same ledge as the child while the tree and loose soil and stones clattered over and around them. She was covered in dirt as the tree just missed her and hurtled to the bottom with a series of crashes. It was followed by the sound of small debris settling, and then silence. Kakko was lucky. The rope had come free of the tree as it fell and was hanging limply from Kakko's waist. Kakko moaned.

“Kakko! Kakko!” yelled Tam. “Are you all right?”

“Yes… no. Ouch!” she said, barely audibly.

“Hold on Kakko, I'm coming,” shouted Tam. “Don't move!”

He had no rope – Kakko had them both – and no equipment. One false move and he would either join them on the ledge or fall to the bottom. Tam studied the cliff-face. He decided not to climb directly down. He could dislodge a stone or fall himself and that would not be good news for the people on the shelf below.

Gingerly Tam stepped over the cliff edge. The on-lookers seemed confused to know what to do. Some clearly wanted to stop him. The mother was in a distraught heap on the ground. But Tam ignored everything except the footholds he was seeking. Carefully, inch-by-inch, he descended the cliff-face. It took him ten long minutes but eventually he found himself above and to one side of the ledge. He sized up the available holds. He thought he could just make it in six without too much of a stretch. He imagined himself just using yellow holds. He could do those. He swung out his right leg and took a hold with his right hand cleanly enough. One move. Lowering his right leg he found a projection, which he tested. It held. Two moves. Then he put his left hand down to his waist level and felt for a hold there. Three moves. Tam followed that with his left leg. Bending his right knee he felt for the step he thought he had seen from above. He found it and it, too, seemed good. He transferred his weight. Four moves. Kakko looked up. “Tam,” she croaked.