Un-Shattering Lucy (The Lucy & Harris Novella Series) (Volume 4) (22 page)

The time passed quickly and when Drake pulled to a stop I took a look around. We were in West Hollywood and Drake had parked right outside one of the best tattoo shops in the state. “We’re getting ink?”

He shot me a grin. “Of course.”

“All of us?” Jenna frowned as she got out on her side and looked up at the shop. “I’m not a big fan of tattoos, Dray.”

“You have a few,” he said. “One more won’t hurt you.”

“But—”

He didn’t give her time to protest. Taking her hand, he led the way into the tattoo shop. The place was quiet when we entered, but three men stood behind the front counter, all of them looking bored until they saw Drake.

The guy in the middle moved around the counter and stepped forward to greet us. “Stevenson. Good to see you.”

They shook hands and he pulled Jenna forward. “You guys ready for us?”

“We’re all set up. Just tell us where you want them and we’ll get started right away.” He nodded toward the other two guys. “I have my two best guys ready for the girls.”

“Thanks, man. Give me a second with them, will you?”

Without questioning it, the three guys disappeared into the back, and Drake slowly turned to face me and Jenna. I was beyond curious now. Not only were we getting ink, but apparently Drake had already picked out
what
we were getting. What the hell was going on?

His blue-gray eyes, when I saw them, completely stopped anything I might have said. The look on his face told me that this was important to him. Jenna’s hand was still in his, but he reached for mine and gave us both a firm squeeze. “You two are more than family to me. I love you both so damn much and it’s killing me that you are both going through so much. That you’ve both felt so alone and have done things to yourselves that could have taken you away from me forever.”

I lowered my eyes to the floor, unable to look at him a second longer. I doubted the shame of what I had done would ever leave me.

Beside me, I felt Jenna tense. “What are you talking about?” I could actually feel her gaze on my down-bent head. “Lucy, what’s he talking about? Are you okay?”

Biting on the inside of my bottom lip, I reluctantly reached for the bracelet on my left wrist and pulled it off. Drake let out a hiss, because it was the first time he was seeing the proof of my cutting. Jenna’s cold fingers gripped my arm and pulled my wrist closer. “Oh, God, Lucy. I had no idea.”

“No one did,” I mumbled.

Drake exhaled long and hard. “No one knew about either of you. Now we do. Now
I
do. I don’t pretend to know what’s good for either of you right now. I seriously doubt the two of you know what is either, and that’s okay. The road to getting better is a long one, and from my own experience, that road never gets any shorter. Maybe it gets easier to walk, but it never ends.”

My eyes shot back up to him. “You’ve done a great job, Dray.”

He gave me a grim smile. “I’ve had help, Lu. I’ve gone to meetings, I’ve had people stand behind me and I have my Angel and our babies to keep me on the straight and narrow. But you two, you haven’t had that. Not really. Today, I want to show you both that no matter what, I’m here for you always.”

Jenna’s brows lifted. “With tattoos?”

His grin was both sad and amused. “With tattoos,” he agreed. “But not just any tattoos. Something that the three of us can share and when you two feel like the world is going to hell you can look at it and know I’ll be there for you.”

Tears filled my eyes. “I-I’ve always known that, Dray.”

“Maybe, but now you’ll never forget it.”



A semicolon.

I loved writing, but I’d never thought of a semicolon as a possible piece of art to put on my body. But the meaning behind it was perfect for me. A semicolon represents a sentence an author could have ended, but chose not to. Project Semicolon represented those who battled not only thoughts of suicide, but fought daily with addiction, depression, and self-injury. It was the perfect ink for all three of us. It represented the three of us in our own fucked-up ways perfectly and was possibly the link I needed to help me through what might come in the future. We each got them in black and on our right wrists. I loved them and it only made me feel that much closer to a man who had always been there for me.

It made me feel closer to Jenna as well.

Maybe her addiction wasn’t exactly like my need to hurt myself, but we could still help each other. I could be there for her and she could be there for me. We didn’t have to feel so alone. We didn’t have to hide our illnesses from each other or worry if the other was going to judge. Knowing that was kind of cathartic.

It seemed that way for Jenna too.

After our tattoos, Drake took us for food not far from Jenna’s apartment. We sat out on the sidewalk, eating sandwiches and drinking sodas. The sun felt good on my face and I wasn’t looking forward to getting back into the car, so afterward, I told Drake I was going to walk with Jenna back to her place and then call Kin.

I was supposed to meet up with her and Jace so we could go to First Bass together. I was looking forward to hanging out with them. It would be like old times with the bonus of meeting Jace’s sister, Kassa.

Kin knew about my cutting. I couldn’t keep it from her when everyone else knew. She hadn’t taken it well. Like my mother, she had blamed herself for not realizing what I did to myself. I couldn’t understand why everyone was putting the blame on themselves. I’d made damn sure none of them knew. It was all on me. No one else.

Sliding my arm through Jenna’s, we walked the few blocks to her apartment.

“Today has been a really good day,” she murmured as we neared the building. “It felt good to get out.”

The surprise in her voice broke my heart. “Well, you’ll have to do it more often. How about going to dinner with me and Harris on Saturday?” I looked up at her as we continued to walk, giving her a warm smile. “Angie can come too.”

Her eyes brightened at the mention of Angie. “I’d really like that.”

“Me too.” We paused outside the building and I gave her arm a squeeze. “Harris misses you.”

Her lashes lowered. “I miss him too. But…”

“No buts. It’s settled. We’ll have dinner. You and Harris will make up and we’ll all live happily ever after.” I winked at her and reached for the door.

As we started to enter, the chick who had gotten on the elevator with Drake and me earlier stormed out. She looked pissed and her clothes were in complete disarray. She bumped into Jenna and didn’t even apologize.

“Bitch,” I called after her, angry that she’d nearly walked over Jenna. “Watch where you’re going.”

I got the finger in response as she stepped into the waiting car on the street. “Are you okay?” I asked Jenna as we stepped inside.

“I’m good. She didn’t hurt me.”

“Do you know her?” I glanced through the glass door and watched as the car the chick had just gotten into drove away. “Does she live here?”

“Not that I know of, but I don’t know everyone who lives here. The only people I see are Harris and the TK guys. She looked familiar, though. Probably some celeb,” Jenna mused as we waited on the elevator. “Forget about her, Lu. I already have.”

Shrugging, I followed her into the elevator when the doors opened. “How about Mexican on Saturday?”

“Sounds good to me, babe.” Her blue-gray eyes looked uncertain, though. “Are you sure this will be okay with Harris?”

“Jenna, he loves you. Of course it will be okay.”

“I’ve missed him so much, Lucy. He’s the only friend I have left other than Angie. Nat…” Her voice cracked and she shook her head. “She won’t even talk to me.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. I wanted to help her, but I had no idea how or even if I could. Instead, I changed the subject. “Let’s go shopping Saturday morning. We could get our hair cut and a new outfit. Angie and Kin can come with us. We’ll have a girls’ day.”

“Maybe just the two of us?” she suggested. “I’d like to go with the others, but…” She shrugged. “I’d rather it just be us.”

Baby steps.

“Sure,” I said with a nod. “Of course. Just us, I promise. Whatever you want, Jen.”

“Thanks, Lucy.” The elevator slowed down and finally stopped on her floor. “It means a lot to me.”

Chapter 24

Lucy

Marcus pulled to a stop outside of First Bass, but none of us noticed at first because we were all laughing too hard. My Range Rover was overflowing with chicks. Jenna, Angie, Kin and Kassa had all piled in with me when we’d left Jenna’s apartment earlier. Meaning Jace—and Gray, because he wasn’t about to let Kassa leave without him—had to take a taxi since there was zero room for anyone else.

“Did you see his face?” Kin said with a laugh as she finally turned to watch through the back window as the taxi the guys had taken pulled up behind us. “Kas, what have you done to Gray? He looked like he was going to bust a nut he was so pissed.”

Kassa twisted around in the middle of the back seat to follow Kin’s gaze. “I swear I don’t know what his problem is. He’s been like a bear with a sore head for the last few weeks. I can’t freaking leave the apartment without him.”

I watched with amusement as Jace and Gray got out of the taxi and Gray came to the back door, where Jenna and Angie had squeezed in with the other two, and opened it. Kin got out first and stepped right into Jace’s arms for a welcoming kiss. Kassa took a little longer to get out, her amusement gone now as she frowned up at her new roommate. “I worry about you sometimes, Gray. You’re going to have a stroke if you don’t relax.”

“I’ll relax when you stop doing crazy things,” he grumbled. “I don’t like you going to the club without me. If I hadn’t shown up when I did you would’ve gone alone.”

“Jace is with us, and I have four other girls with me. I wouldn’t have been alone, dumbass.” She shot him an irritated look over her shoulder and joined her brother on the sidewalk.

I waited until everyone else was out before opening the front passenger door. Marcus was already on the sidewalk, handing the keys over to the valet. I kept my focus on the club in front of me and the long line of people waiting to get in. The flashing lights from the cameras of the paps across the street had my own amusement fading and I gritted my teeth as I headed straight for the entrance.

I knew they didn’t know about my secret, but now that so many people who were close to me did, I couldn’t help wondering if one day the paps would start throwing questions at me like, “Been cutting tonight, Lucy?” or “Keeping the blades sharp, Lucy?”

Jace was already waiting with the door open and I gave him a small hug as I went inside. As usual, Tiny was waiting at the VIP entrance. He stepped forward as I approached. “Miss Thornton, it’s good to see you. The boss was expecting you an hour ago. Did you run in to traffic?”

“Traffic, a raging rocker…” I glanced at Gray, who just crossed his massive arms over his chest and gave me a lift of his dark brows. “You know how the artistic types are so fickle, Tiny.”

The big, dark man grinned. “That I do, Miss Thornton.” He stepped aside and the others started up the stairs to the VIP floor. “Enjoy your evening.”

“Thanks, Tiny.” Marcus was at my back as I started up the stairs. Halfway up, my phone started ringing and I would have ignored it if it hadn’t been my dad’s ringtone. Frowning, I pulled my phone out of my back pocket. “Hey, Daddy. What’s up?” He’d known I was going to First Bass tonight and I probably wouldn’t be home until late.

“Hey, Lu. You busy right now?”

There was something in his voice that had my heart clenching. “Hold on a second, Daddy.” I got to the top of the stairs and moved away from my friends so I could hear him better. “Is everything okay?”

“No, baby, it’s not.” He blew out a harsh breath and I could have sworn I heard tears in his voice. My free hand clenched into a tight fist, my nails biting into the palm of my hand. “I’ve been thinking about this long and hard, Lucy. I think…”—another harsh sigh—“…I think you should stay with Harris.”

“What?” I couldn’t have heard him right. No way would my dad suggest that. Hell, I would love to stay with Harris. If I was with him, I knew I would be able to sleep. He would wrap me up in his arms and I’d fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat under my ear and his heat making me feel safe.

“You don’t sleep, Lucy. I find you walking the floors or passed out on the couch with the sun coming up. I’m worried that something will happen…” He broke off and I sank my teeth into my bottom lip. His worry wasn’t unfounded. I’d been having the same thoughts race through my mind as much as he apparently did, only my worries were quickly followed by the urge to do the damn things I was so worried about. “You need to sleep, and I don’t think you’ll do much of that here without the boy to keep you grounded. It’s killing me to let you move out, Lucy, but I want you to be happy and I know that you won’t be unless you’re with him.”

“Daddy…” I leaned back against the wall, needing it for support after what he’d just said. Tears filled my eyes, but I blinked them back. “I-I don’t know what to say.”

“Just tell me you love me, Lu. And promise you’ll call me every day.” I knew for sure he was crying now, and the thought of my big, strong daddy crying was like a deathblow to the chest.

“I do love you, Daddy. I swear I’ll call you every single day.” I quickly dashed away a tear that had slipped free. “And I’ll come see you every weekend.”

He cleared his throat. “Good. I’m glad we got that sorted. I…I’ll let you get back to your friends, Lu. Call me tomorrow, and Mom and I will bring your stuff over. Love you, baby.”

“I love you too, Daddy.”

I stood there, just staring down at my phone long after he’d hung up. I couldn’t believe what he’d just said. What he’d just done. Jesse Thornton was my hero in every way possible. Everyone who knew him knew that his letting his only daughter move in with her boyfriend was a step that he wouldn’t ever take without first beating the boyfriend to a bloody pulp. Yet he had, because he realized I needed Harris more.

“Hey.” Kin stepped up beside me with a concerned look on her face when she saw the proof of my tears. “Everything okay?”